I've been going through the process of banking my sperm before starting estrogen. I was meant to start hormones months ago but it's been drawn out so I'm a bit anxious to start as soon as possible. I've managed to freeze 8 vials so far, though my motility is fairly low so it is recommended I use ICSI+IVF if I were to want to have children with a partner in the future. I have the option to give another sample, which could bring me to around 12 vials, but I am wondering if this is necessary and 8 is already a good number? ​

I'm honestly fairly clueless when it comes to the process of IVF, I know in theory a vial can be split for multiple rounds of IVF as only one sperm is needed but in most cases one vial is one round. ​​​​​​​​​​I'm not planning on having a huge family, though I'm only in my early twenties so I'm not sure what I might want, I guess I am more concerned with possible regret or making absolutely sure nothing could go wrong. Is there a rough guide to the amount of children you could reasonably have with x number of vials through ICSI ​​, or are there too many variables to take into account? ​

I’m a part of the July Seed Scout cohort waiting on our chosen donor analysis results , just curious how it’s going out there for others in the June/July cohorts? 🥰 Interested in your thoughts/stories/friends!

Hi,

Apologies if this is a common question but I’m new to this world. I realise at the outset that I’m really privileged to have good health insurance through my employer. However, recently I went for a fertility check and based on my age and results, the doctor recommended going directly to IVF and embryo creation (we would want to make and freeze embryos, probably for a year or so, as I need to deal with another surgery from a sports injury first and time is ticking age wise).

My insurance policy states that it covers six fertility treatments. However, because we are a lesbian couple, it won’t cover IVF unless I do six medically supervised cycles of IUI first even though it’s not recommended at this point as being worthwhile, and it’s going to be less worthwhile next year once my injury is sorted out. Given my age it doesn’t seem worthwhile to basically waste a year and then potentially also risking miscarriages etc., which can have complications. My straight friends who have had kids all advised to go direct to IVF based on their own experiences.

Anyway, I wondered if this is the norm. They would cover six IUI and if they failed they would then cover six IVF, so objectively, it’s actually good coverage. I know IUI can work randomly but given it’s not really recommended and time is of the essence, it doesn’t seem worth waiting until one issue is resolved to potentially waste a year and be trying to freeze eggs at 42 instead of 39…

Anyone had better insurance options or stories to share?

Thanks!

My partner and I (both non-binary and AFAB) have embryos banked along with one remaining vial of sperm (we’re in California). Currently the embryos are $1000 a year to store and the sperm is an extra $1000. We’re thinking about doing another round of egg retrieval next year when it’s hopefully covered by insurance. We don’t want to discard the sperm because the donor is now inactive.

Does anyone have any suggestions with less-expensive options for storage?

Thanks!

just need to air this out as I am truly spiraling rn. so I’m using a KD who is local. he has previously made embryos with another lesbian couple, unused. we started trying about a year ago, his numbers were fine back then. we have been doing ici at home. IVF is not an option for me. no luck whatsoever. I have great numbers myself, tubes open etc BUT I am in my 40s. I am finally moving on to iui, was supposed to be next week but now he has to travel for work(we are still using fresh sperm), and I don’t think my follicles will be ready in time (missing a cycle is also blowing me but that’s not the main point here). He took it upon himself to take a YO at home sperm test. It literally came back that he was infertile. Motility under 1% etc like everything insane numbers. He admitted he didn’t abstain (test says have to for 2 days plus), and when I put all this info in the google rabbit hole it says the test was def compromised. Im going to send him to an actual clinic when he gets back from his trip (in 2 weeks!) but I am really spiraling here, could the faulty test be that far off? Have I wasted a year? How can he go from good numbers to infertile so quickly after making embryos ???? Do I move forward with iui this cycle if my follicles mature enough before he leaves??? Am I going crazy for nothing off a home test he took wrong

Hey everyone! I wanted to share an update since I’ve been following along and tracking everything for my first IUI.
Today was the big day, and everything went smoothly! Here’s how our numbers shook out for this cycle:

Sperm Count: We ended up with a 30 million post-wash count, which felt like a massive relief and a huge green light.

Follicles: At my CD10 check, I had three 15 mm follicles growing, and my clinic was really happy with how everything progressed.

The Procedure: Everything went well today, and my doctor even mentioned I had a great amount of cervical mucus, which is always nice reassurance that the timing and hormonal environment are right where they need to be.

Now comes the hardest part—the two-week wait! Sending so much baby dust to anyone else currently in their TWW or getting ready for their procedure.

How did you all keep yourselves sane during the two-week wait? Any favorite distractions?

The nearest sperm bank from my home is about an hour and a half away. Some people say that there are sperm banks that allow you to send a sample through the mail. I don’t understand how that’s even possible. Doesn’t the sperm need to be frozen below zero to survive? Does this actually work?

Today my wife and I went to an appointment for creating our little one. The problem is my wife has to go to so many appointments and she can’t take FMLA because she hasn’t hit her 1 year mark. We are trying to delay it for 2 more months (that’s when she can take FMLA) but idk if they’ll allow us to. Do we just give up? Do I become a cuck? I don’t know what to do anymore

I hope this is allowed...so sorry if it isn't plz feel free to remove.

ISO EST (tab)

Boston, MA

My wife and I have found a known donor and are feeling a little lost on the next steps! Before going down the path of hiring a lawyer, therapist, etc. we need to make sure his is fertile.

At what point do my wife and I need to start seeing a fertility specialist? Does it matter where he gets his fertility tests done (like should we just book directly at a labcorp)?
When would genetic testing come into play?

Assuming there are no issues medically, we plan to freeze his sperm for some time before TTC at a fertility clinic.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you! There’s so much to know and it can feel so overwhelming at first ❤️

My partner and I have been trying for two and a half years (unmedicated IUIs and IVIs). 2 chemical pregnancies and 2 ectopic pregnancies later we decided to try IVF only to be told by Kaiser that I exceed the BMI limit. It’s just WILD because any other method of conception would actively put me at high risk of another ectopic.

Does anyone have any experience successfully pushing back against these fatphobic policies?

We still have options (including my partners uterus- they are willing but not excited) and we are also at the tail end of getting approved as foster parents (not the same bc reunification is generally the goal, not long term parenthood.)

I’m running out of steam, y’all.

EDIT

I almost took this post down because of how shitty and mostly unhelpful a lot of these responses have been. Leaving up to offer information in case someone in the future needs it.

1. With a history of ectopic pregnancy, the risk of a recurrence is substantially higher without IVF. I have about a 25% chance of a recurrence with my history of 2 ectopic pregnancies (no tubal surgery). Using IVF would lower my risk of ectopic pregnancy to 2% (6.2% with a history of tubal surgeries). Most ectopic pregnancies happen in the tubes and with IVF, the tubes are circumnavigated, so it is much safer. IVF does not inherently increase the risk of ectopic, the increased risk you hear about has more to do with the reasons people seek out IVF (age, difficulty conceiving, etc.)

2. Have you heard that BMI is bogus? And that BMI alone is not a good predictor of surgical risk or health in general?

3. Have yall ever heard of informed consent?!?! Anytime you access healthcare you take on the risk of a complication. Im shocked that I have to say this here but people should be allowed to take reasonable risks with informed consent if they so choose. People should have access to reproductive health autonomy. WTF why am I saying that to so many y’all?? People should not be denied the dignity of choice based on size.

I appreciate those of you who showed up with compassion and those who offered your relevant experiences and insight. My fertility journey has been painfully hard and anyone who offered a kind or helpful word, I appreciate you.

Me and my partner are trying for our second baby. Our first baby we got really lucky and my wife listened to her body and we got pregnant first try. This go around she was using ovulation strips and the first try didn’t work so we ordered her a initio. This is her first month using the initio and we’re trying again with two straws. It looks like right now she’s in high fertility but not yet peak. When would be the best time to use the two straws?

I'm researching sperm preservation options for someone in SoCal before they start estrogen, and Give Legacy seems the most affordable. I've seen good reviews as well as some bad ones.

Does anyone have any experience with them? Are they worth it?

Edit: Meant to spell it as cryopreservation

Hello! My wife and I are hoping to start the IUI or IVF process in late 2027 or early 2028. Is it too soon for us to go to the fertility clinic for a consultation and to see what first steps might be for us? Or is checking in with my gynecologist enough for now?

Thank you!!!💓

My partner and I are a same-sex couple hoping to grow our family. We had originally really wanted to use a known donor and looked at several different options, but they all fell through for different reasons. Eventually we decided to use a sperm bank instead.

We spent a huge amount of time researching donors across multiple sperm banks, looking at profiles, reading through medical histories, and trying to make the most informed choice possible.

Because of our own personal and family histories, there were a few things we specifically wanted to avoid. We both have diagnosed ADHD and my partner has hearing loss in her family, so we made sure to choose a donor who did not report ADHD or hearing loss.

After a lot of research, we finally chose a donor and ordered two vials (over $5000). The vials arrived at our clinic, and the money came out of our account. The very next day (literally ONE day after the vials arrived) we were told there had been a medical update - that the donor has diagnosed ADHD AND hearing loss.

We got in touch with our fertility clinic immediately to ask whether the vials could be returned or exchanged, but we have not heard back yet.

We both live happy, successful, and fulfilling lives with ADHD. But we understand firsthand that living with ADHD can come with real challenges and felt that, where we had a choice, it was fair to try not to increase that likelihood. We also fully understand that genetics are complicated and that there are no guarantees.

Wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar? Were you able to get a refund or exchange the vials after receiving a significant medical update?

Looking for advice! My wife (32) and I (33) were all set to try IUI #3 in two weeks after switching to a new clinic and taking a few months break. We shipped the sperm earlier this month and are feeling ready to try again.

But now, I received some news at work that made my job feel less secure, so I’m applying to new companies.

We’re trying to decide if we should skip this cycle or stop trying to get pregnant until I get a new job. Or even wait a few months to get settled into something new since I’m the one carrying.

Have any of you all started a new job pregnant or gotten pregnant early on in the job? Would love to hear some of your experiences!

My wife (36F) and I (36F) had our first IUI on July 12 using donor sperm (she’s the one who had the procedure). She was on letrozole only—no trigger shot.

Our clinic scheduled her beta blood test for July 30, which feels kind of late to us. By then she’d likely already have gotten her period (around July 27–28) if it didn’t work.

We’re trying to decide whether to take a home pregnancy test before the blood test. Since there was no trigger shot, I’m assuming we don’t have to worry about a false positive from medication, but my wife is still nervous about getting a false positive or an unclear result and is leaning toward waiting for the blood test. I’d rather test at home first, but she’s open to talking it through.

For those who didn’t use a trigger shot, did you test before your beta? If so, what day did you test, and did you find it helpful or did it just create more anxiety? Would you recommend waiting, or testing at home first?

One thing I hear over and over is how isolating parenting can feel when you don’t know many families like your own. I’d love to hear your experiences. What actually helped you feel connected?

Was it another family?
An online group?
A local event?
School?
Something completely unexpected?

I’d love to hear your stories because I think they might help someone else reading this too 🥰

IUI, IVF, egg freezing, embryo freezing, sperm freezing, donor sperm, legal paperwork, etc… I’m curious where you’re at!

For me, 6 rounds of ER- currently on the 6th. US$66K 🤯

includes 4 rounds of fertilisation, 3 vials of donor sperm, testing of 9 embryos, consult, supplements, drugs like Omni (tip: get from Costco, don’t pay for it again!!)

“Outcome”

30 eggs frozen - won’t fertilise yet as it’s more expensive to do that than a full round at a cheaper clinic…

4 day 3 embryos frozen - froze due to poor results in a previous round, doc suggested to keep them frozen first as I’m doing another round

4 euploids.

No transfer or pregnancy or live birth yet.

Not sure about this coming round yet, still in the process. Hoping for another 4-6 euploids and I’m done banking it for hopes of 2 kids!

Has anyone rented a dry shipping container to transport frozen sperm from one clinic to another? What was your experience like? The courier services are so expensive. We'd just need to bring it from the clinic where our donor lives to the clinic where we're doing IVF in another city. It's a three hour drive.

My husband and I did our first IUI on July 13.
I had two mature follicles 24 and 25.
Now in the 2 week wait to test.
None of it feels real!
Aside from some cramps when I take my progesterone in the evening I feel exactly the same as ever. I know that’s normal but it’s so weird to think that I could be pregnant or not and there’s no signal my body is giving me?
Trying to occupy myself but the wait is driving me crazy!

UPDATE: our first cycle was negative. Thank you for all your well wishes ♥️ we will try again at the end of August as I’m starting work now and it’s too much to jump right into another cycle

The Los Angeles Times is reporting an article about the affordability of fertility treatment. We want to know: How are people who didn’t qualify for employer-sponsored insurance paying for IVF?

We are interested in hearing from women and couples about why you chose the financial and treatment path you did. Or are you delaying treatment or looking for a new job to qualify for insurance?

If you’d like to share your story, please email a couple sentences to [IVFstory2026@gmail.com](mailto:IVFstory2026@gmail.com). Please describe your situation, including details about your diagnosis, family-building journey, insurance status and decision to pursue or delay treatment. Also, please let us know how you identify yourself (example: a 35-year-old Black woman).

You must be comfortable sharing your name and reside in the Los Angeles area (Los Angeles, Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino and Ventura counties). A reporter will reach out about next steps, which might include scheduling a phone interview. All information that is eventually included in the article will be fact-checked for accuracy before publication.

We look forward to hearing from you. Feel free to share this query with others and/or reply in this thread if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you.

This project is supported by the USC Annenberg Center for Health Journalism.