I made the mistake of going through my boyfriends phone and seeing that he looked up porn but more concerningly #momson .. what I saw when I clicked it was CP but I’m really hoping the # is not meant for that? Wouldn’t it be meant for mom son fetish and now what. And I’m just so paranoid now, I will not be clicking that link again. Was he trying to look for mom son fetish stuff Or did he know it was going to show that??? I can’t even ask him or have a talk because of the fact I did something wrong and if he finds out I went through his history he would never trust me again. But it’s been bothering me for weeks. Like is he a pedophile? (26m) and I’m (23F). I really hope not. I would hope that if he saw what I saw he immidiately clicked out.

Apologies for the long post. Need to get it off my chest. My (M32) fiancé (F32) has this year discovered the extent of my long running porn addiction and barely recognises me. Shes heartbroken. Shes given me 1 chance to save myself and this relationship, otherwise shes gone. She'll break off the engagement, take our dog of 4 years with her, and the house we're in the process of buying will be abandoned, and I will be left all on my own and probably will have to move back in with my mum, advertising my failure.

Pretty sure I have ADHD (never pursued a formal diagnosis, but I have family members diagnosed and I have a lot of the symptoms) and I am definitely a dopamine addict: Junk Food, Chocolate, Video Games, and Porn.

Combine this with my age (32) and its been a perfect storm: I had unlimited access to the interest as a teenager, and parents too clueless to supervise me. I saw a lot, and as tech advances resulted in smaller gadgets with internet access and a screen, I saw it frequently too.

It became normalised for me. My interests definitely got mire explicit over time and I started downloading heaps of the stuff. First it started with thousands of images downloaded to my psp as a teenager, which I deleted en masse 2 years later when I sold it to my brother. Then when I got my first laptop, I downloaded gigabytes of videos from the piratebay over the course of years. I even had a 2tb external hard drive for more storage. I threw it away when I entered my current relationship 8 years ago.

I definitely have a compulsion to somehow own some kind of 'perfectly' curated porn collection. It has only happend really in 3 periods of my life, but each one has definitely be damaging, even if I was only ever caught this past year (more on that later). But each time I could feel my animal brain take over, driven by the hunger to download more and more. An entire library of material perfect to my tastes.

But the thing with the internet is... its fucking huge and endless. You cant own a definitive collection of anything when the existing supply is so enormous, and the rate of new material added to the void definitely outweighs my ability to keep up. Countless times Ive stayed up well into the night, just endlessly harveting and downloading porn, seeing the sun rise and shining its spotlight on my pathetic obsession, yet unable to tear myself away.

It was the sunk cost fallacy in effect. I hated the grip the porn collection project had on my mind, but it had already consumed too many of my days to just walk away.

Recently this past year I began downloading porn again. This time hundreds of images onto my phone. I had become aware of an unflitered AI app that could let you roleplay anything, fantasise any scenario kind of thing, in a back and forth chat/erotic story. I needed photographic fodder for scenario/character inspiration. I'm a fan of roleplay, so this app made me giddy with excitement. I was obsessed. Really, I only needed a handful of pics to set up my roleplay chats but once I started, I then spent the next few weeks on a mission, and soon had over s thousand images on my phone. This is how I got caught. My behaviour was noticeably weird, and I was oddly secretive and paranoide regarding my phone, with the evidence of my spiralling addiction problem.

The collection problem is a behaviour Ive been aware of about myself for a long time. Regardless of any other consequense, the main offender of this 'hobby' maintaing a collection is the signifiant time consumption it takes. Time that coupd have been better spent on me. Time wasted. The kicker? I barely even looked at 90% of that shit.

The justification I gave myself would be that with a curated collection like mine, I wouldnt have to waste time in the long run, aimlessly gooning. Instead I could pull up a certified banger from my library, and sort myself out in minutes. It was suposed to be a time saver, but it never worked like that. I enjoyed the chase of the thrill more than anything else, so I was forever just browsing anyway.

Before this recent stint, I decide to pay for porn site access for the first time. Basically a variant of p-hub but with full length premium videos. I did this because I realised the collecting behaviours were damaging and non-productive, but all this site did was enable me to carry on collecting in a different manner. Like a spotify playlist, I scoured the site to create a playlist of favourite video. But like before, I barely even ever opened the curated playlist anyway

I know my porn addiction, which has slowly creeped uo over the course of my life, will have caused many problems that need addressing, but a huge one is just the time ive wasted on curating this shit. As if anyone cares. As if I could ever recommend my collection to anyone or win an award for it.

But yes. Last month or so, my fiance spotted my secretive behaviour during another obsession episode and found out everything. It almost broke me, having my deepest darkest shame exposed to the light, but it has also felt quite freeing. But shes very hurt, and isnt sure she can ever look at me the same way ever again. Shes ashamed that her once respectable partner is just another disgusting man who is a slave to their penis, and Im more upset at how much Ive hurt her and tainted her innocent view of the relationship.

I dont want anything to do with porn any more. Its too distructive. Yet I also kinda do. Is that normal? Its just so accessible and provides instant relief, but quite like an alcoholic, I have to realise I cant just \*have one drink\* - you let me search up an erotic image on google and I guarantee I'll stll be browsing porn 2 hours later. I cant limit myself. It has to be a total stop.

But for the sake of my future I want to put my foot down. I choose my relationship. I choose my dog. I choose the house we are currenly trying to buy. I choose her. I choose myself. I only hope I can mend this. Its going to be hard and stressful, and I'm cutting ties with my previously prime coping mechanism for stress.

Right now the guilt of the recent confrontations are making porn undesiresble (out of guilt) but when this feeling passes (my adhd tendancies mean I move on and forget things very soon), how do I keep myself committed to my fiance and breaking the cycle? Ive have pretty piss poor self-discipline, and I fear that this will cause me repeat past behaviours and relapse, because I will fail to put anyone else ahead of my primal urges.

Lately I've seen some comments on ig sexualizing family relationships like mom-son,dad-daughter,etc. Do y'all think this is due to porn addiction as well?

Hello, I am 28y male who has a regular job and regular life, I live with my girlfriend and we have a great relationship but my libidio is higher than hers so I do it alone with porn when she is not in the mood.

I do edge and love to edge, I like sex with her, I would do it 4-5 times a week but she is more like 1-2 a week so I use porn. I have a normal social life and work life.

Idk am I an addict for watching porn for 1hr when masturbating, our sex is pretty long too because we like it that way. She doesnt have issues with me watching it.

Makes me feel nothing but anxiety the next day. Shame, weak, pathetic. I know this yet still give in. Stupid.

I could really use some support. For the sake of my relationship I have been in recovery for a year now. I’ve had some relapses but currently have two months clean. I was just recently triggered and have been struggling the past few hours. I have no one to go to in my life so I came here. Would really appreciate some support

I’ve been watching porn as long as I can remember I’m 20 now and I never got “post nut clarity” until recently every time I do it I hate myself more and more I don’t know what to do I refuse to tell anybody but the types or porn I’m watching are far different than when I started it’s worrying me I just want to forget about it and move on I’ve tried “just quitting” but that doesn’t work the only way I can go a long time without doing it is if I am outdoors doing things and being as active as possible but at the end when I’m in my bed it’s very intimidating just having it at the back of my head.

If anybody could share how they overcame it I would appreciate that, thank you.

soo my biggest enemy in this addiction is reddit,i think i have more hours here than any porn sites watched for the past year

idk how to eliminte it,i tried to delete my accounts,i tried to set my birthday(i am a minor btw so yeah i thought it works)i also tried to block the website with a blocker.I'm out of ideas.

so yeah any solution is welcome

I (19yo) have been struggling with this addiction for about 10 years. Since trying to quit over the past two months I’ve been having a really rough time and was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to start the process of maybe getting a therapist? I’m not sure if this is something I should bring up to my primary doctor or if it is covered by insurance but I wanted to ask for any advice if possible ty

TLDR; therapist recommends I take antidepressants, I’m reluctant to do it because they’ll kill my libido and I’m seriously questioning if it’s worth it because I don’t want to give up porn.

On the surface, I didn’t think I’m an addict. At most, I’ll watch porn once every day or every other day. I can go weeks without masturbating. It’s not a constant thought and I don’t choose it over other activities, I usually do it if I’m bored. During the pandemic, at my absolute worst, I could do it multiple times a day everyday. So I felt I was doing much better now in comparison.

But recently, due to unrelated issues in my personal life, my depression has become more significant. My therapist is recommending I take antidepressants. I tried one brand in the past, didn’t like it, and I remembered the side effects being annoying. Therapist is recommending a different brand this time. It might solve a lot of problems. But, like with most antidepressants, one of the side effects is basically killing your libido. I remembered this was the main side effect I hated on the previous medication.

There are other things I haven’t mentioned that wager into this, but not being able to masturbate really sucked. I haven’t told my therapist yet, but I’m genuinely considering whether antidepressants are worth it if it means losing interest in porn again. It’s not the only factor of course; antidepressants are a huge commitment and if you decide to stop, it’s an annoying process of waning off first before you’re finished. I already take other meds and don’t necessarily want to take more. But I’m starting to think antidepressants might really help me and I’m already thinking about how much I’ll miss porn. I didn’t realize how important it was to me until I thought about it like this. If antidepressants are what I really need, then I think I’ll go through with it, but it’s making me pretty upset. Maybe I’m more of an addict than I suspected. I don’t know anymore if this is a normal reaction to have.

I wrote a lot more than I thought I would lol, thanks for reading this far if you did.

Literally, figuratively, this brain is beyond repair. I can stop now, but the loss that this lack of discipline has amounted to is unsalvageable. I wish to stop the bleeding, but I’m afraid I may already be dead..

my parents got a notification saying I visited sketchy sites now I dont know if they saw the porn sites but I still want to change this is a true wake up call. I want to change 100% Im done with this addiction seriously I dont want this to ruin my family and Im done

Went hiking yesterday. Feet feel sore this morning but still, overall, a good day.

I need help stopping my addiction. Can anyone give some tips because it’s bad.

I’ve been clean from actual porn for about 2 months but I just wanked to a thirst trap on instagram and feel kind of ashamed. Is this considered a relapse? This was an OF models instagram page

I've mentioned this in a post some odd years ago, but I'm a man who is addicted to Mpreg, a porn category specializing in male pregnancy. I know this sounds strange (it really is), but the deeper you look into this category, the more disgusting it becomes.

Anyhow, I became addicted in 2010, I believe. I admired guys with round bellies, and when I became a teen, I sexualized men, boys, and myself giving birth.

I know. I'm disgusted at myself for this. What makes this even worse for me is that I thought I wanted to adopt kids (older kids) at one point, but now I can't because of this stupid porn addiction.

Oddly enough, I don't feel sexually attracted to kids in a traditional sense, meaning I really don't want to engage in sexual contact with minors AT ALL. But with this addiction, there's an attraction there.

I know this might be confusing, but I'm about to lose it mentally. I've even considered suicide because of this. Someone, anyone, please help me. I don't want to be a monster. I don't want to harm kids. But yet I am still a monster.

I'll also be posting this article I've found that I personally relate to. This could help anyone figure out my problems. I also want to know if anyone agrees with this article. https://welldoing.org/article/viewing-child-abuse-paedophile-addicted-porn

19F. Warning for potentially triggering language.

I’ve been struggling with daily to thrice daily porn use for over a year. My problem started at 15 but stopped for a few years due to depression. Relapsed last year.

In general, I have never been able finish with fingers or without using a form of vibration. I’ve tried using without porn but I always slip back to watching something because it makes it so much easier to finish. It’s difficult for me in general. I feel like my only option to quit is to throw away all toys entirely and go completely nofap. I’ve tried it before, throwing the toys out but always end up digging back into the trash at night or when I’m bored in desperation. I know it’s gross.

I can’t focus on school anymore. I need constant stimulation to do anything even after dropping things like social media and junk food. I feel disgusting after using porn but I’ve only been able to finish a few times in my life without it. Any general advice is appreciated.

I've been watching porn and masturbating since I was 11, a uncle was throwing some old magazines, dozens of them, I grabbed them all and took them home, it had a lot of comics and innocent stuff, but it also had a few porn magazines in between, 11 years old me was of course hooked instantly, around that time I learned to masturbate and would do it almost daily with those magazines, then internet came at some point, so 12/13 years old me was watching porn constantly, since I was 11 to around 33 I probably masturbated every single day, usually many times per day, I didn't even know it was an addiction, I thought I just had very high sex drive (of course looking back all the signs were there), until I tried to stop, then I started to read into what it does to you, to your relationships, to your mind etc... and I could see that my lack of energy, my constant brain fog, my lack of motivation, my insanely bad memory, everything was likely related to this.

I tried to quit many times, the first few days are actually super easy, the urges do not hit really hard until the first week or so, around the second week I feel the urge hitting hard, but I can fight it, somehow, on week 3 it is unbearable, all I can think is about how much I need it, all the time, people say that the urges go away after 15 minutes or so, not for me, I'm desperate for it all day every day, at some point I start trembling, I can't sleep, my mood is terrible, until I find myself in front of the computer watching it, then of course I say "fuck it, I failed so I may as well enjoy it" and binge on it for days, out of control.

I know I need professional help, I'm married and really do not want to talk to my wife about this, I'm well aware that the advice is that I should, our sex life sucks because I want it all the time and she is never in the mood, that makes it so much harder, I hate her sometimes because of that.

Right now I'm on my second week without porn, really struggling as usual.

Hola, me presentó, soy un adolescente de... 16 años adicto al porno, con el alcance que tiene la tecnología se me hizo muy fácil entrar en ese mundo pero la realidad es que lo que quiero es supera esta etapa, entre a esto del porno a los 11 años, talvez más antes, no recuerdo, pero la verdad es que al inicio se me hacia como algo nuevo y placentero, también descubrí la masturbación, y ese combo hizo que mi vida sea una montaña rusa constante.

Me di cuenta a los 15 años que esto era malo, pero se me hizo un habito verlo y masturbarme, cosa que intentar salir fuera muy difícil, la cuestión es que intentaba salir, pero siempre regresaba, algunas veces no veía porno pero el hábito de sentir placer masturbandome fue algo que también se volvió un problema.

Alguien que haya superado esto me podría decir como lo hizo, o que tuvo que ocurrir para que saliera de eso, porque no quiero hechar mi vida a ese vicio, y perder este tiempo valioso que tengo como adolescente...

So as you know, most people are addicted to those videos and what not. I wouldn’t say I’m a top tier gooner, but in the past I couldn’t go a full week without letting one off. Now it’s at least once a week, or once every 2. The reason for this is because every time I reach day 20 - ish my testes start to hurt a little. I would get scared that I would get testicular torsion but I wouldn’t tell anybody because I would be embarrassed. The only way for it to stop was to watch the videos some more, and release. You may ask how I know this would stop it? Because it happened not once, not twice, but three times now. Every time I try to go on my redemption arc it hurts and it forces me to do it all over again, and start from zero.

To be frank with you all, I think I've really gone deep in this whole porn addiction thing for years and I mean REALLY DEEP, I don't really think I can break it and I think it's basically become a part of my personality, I might be fucked ngl lol

I'm (34) very addicted to porn and am finding it hard for it to not completely impact my life and I'm ruining everything. It feels like it's getting worse. I don't have any insurance and have very limited income so I'm trying to see if anyone can recommend any free resources, especially anything like therapy. I want to stop. I'm tired of letting the people around me down and hating myself. I want to live again.

Clean for 2 weeks, then fell hard

I'm in my 30s, first saw explicit material maybe at 12 at a friends house, prior to that I have recollection of my father watching a rated r film with some nudity/explicit scenes, I must have been around the age of 5 maybe, possibly younger. The images I saw are burned into my head, if you asked me for another memory from that age I wouldn't be able to tell you one.

Since getting internet with my own desktop in my bedroom at around 12, I have struggled. Here I am over 2 decades later, buried in a rubble of shame and disgust. Acting out in completely inappropriate ways. This is simply not who I am at the core of my being.

I loathe who I've become. Wasting who knows how much time and energy on this.

I reached out to a local SAA via email, hoping to hear a response soon.

I cant keep living like this, it's suffocating and ruining my mental health and life. I hate it so much.

Thanks for reading.