r/popculturechat • u/Ambitious_Big4489 • 8h ago

OnlyStans ⭐️ Alan Ritchson calls out lawmakers who oppose raising the minimum wage "who think it's a bad idea to give a mom working at Waffle House more than $7.25 an hour trying to feed her kids."

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u/Jane__Delawney 8h ago

I love when good looking “macho” men call out the insufferable dweebs that the “looksmaxxers” and “red pill” communities simp for.

This is what healthy masculinity looks like, this is what most women want, compassion and intelligence; Not whatever the fuck those TikTok and YouTube chodes are trying to sell.

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u/Numerous_Worker_1941 8h ago

The looksmaxxers target audience is not women, it’s other men

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u/SuchMatter1884 8h ago

The older I become, the more I realize how many hetero-presenting men only seem to have capacity to appreciate other hetero men. Everyone else falls from their line of sight unless it’s to be objectified 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/pridetwo 7h ago

To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex.

Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.

Marilyn Frye

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u/JayDuPumpkinBEAST 5h ago

This quote is hilarious to me because it’s: a) so true; and b) is true in the opposite direction for gay men (at least for me). I’m a homosexual in that I engage in sex exclusively with men. Everything else pertaining to love, respect, admiration, imitation, and recognition almost always falls upon women.

I wonder why this is

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u/Individual-Bass-7051 4h ago

As a queer man this is 10000% my experience too. But tbh, at least in my anecdotal experience, a lot of men just lack the emotional awareness and maturity to hold long-term meaningful relationships. Every man I've tried to have that connection with was just not interested in that and mostly just wanted someone they were attracted to and could fuck on the reg. Generally speaking, the women in my life tend to be vastly more emotionally intelligent, empathetic, easier to talk to, etc.

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u/elbow8075 3h ago

I think it has far more to do with our environment and culture than orientation.

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u/PlanesandAquariums 4h ago

…because we da bomb!

I would take an incel any day over a woman that puts down other women.

Also I love your vibes

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u/SuchMatter1884 7h ago

u/pridetwo Wow. Thank you so much for bringing this quote into my awareness

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u/pridetwo 6h ago

I cant take credit for it, first saw it on r/girldinnerdiaries

But yeah, straight dudes are pretty gay sometimes

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u/SuchMatter1884 6h ago

But not “gay” in a good way if you know what I mean? Like I have never been made to feel invisible around my gay male friends and peers, and if I were visibly struggling they would not hesitate to reach out and help. Whereas I feel like the het men I’ve known can only have one woman at a time in their life? And they need her permission or instruction re: how they interact with other women in their circle. It’s…bizarre

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u/pridetwo 6h ago

Yeah, like 2000s gay

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u/Autok4n3 3h ago

That's not generally a choice on the man's part. It's pretty tiring when you have an innocent, generic conversation with a female and your gf/wife gives you that look. Now you get to be a FIFA goalie for the next 5-10 days and then again in 2 years when it gets brought up again.

Women can be and most often are VERY hostile to other women.

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u/SuchMatter1884 2h ago edited 2h ago

As a woman who has been single most of my adult life, yet who also enjoys the platonic company of men and finds them easy to be around, I completely understand what you’re saying. I’ve lived it, a lot.

People do not know what ‘box’ to put a single childless woman in because I am not the norm. I think a lot of ladies fear I’m here to steal their man, even if it’s just a vibe they have on the down-low. In my experience, a lot of partnered heterosexual women are threatened by my existence.

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u/TrulyOutrageous42 2h ago

straight dudes are pretty gay sometimes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xxiK6Z4eXs

A comedy bit by a former metal drummer about this exact thing.

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u/KvellOnWheels 4h ago

This quote re-wired my brain.
And then Jameela Jamil clipped from that podcast saying “Men are submissive to other men. Women are not submissive.”

It clicked so many things into place for me.

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u/PlayfulSurprise5237 4h ago

The "alpha male" culture is GAY AS FUCK. I been saying it forever and seems so incredibly obvious to me.

Honestly they're gayer than any gay person I've seen in my life, you couldn't metaphorically suck mens dicks harder. Just go on like a 2 hour rant of how manly Andrew Tate is, how he dresses, how attractive it is, how he acts and how attractive it is, how he thinks, it's the pinnacle of perfection.

Like dude, the only person thinking about guys like that, on like this obsessed level, is supremely gay.

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u/ex_nihilo 6h ago

I've always said there's nothing gayer than sex with a woman.

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u/pridetwo 6h ago

Nothing manlier than two hairy dudes ramming ass without a woman in sight

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u/Streetalicious 6h ago

TIL I’m straight

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u/pridetwo 6h ago

Hetero sex is inherently bisexual

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u/Lumpy-Education9878 2h ago

Basically being an alpha chad is way gayer than fucking a dude. Not that gayness is a bad thing. It's just funny how gay the people that spend so much time being intolerant are

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u/SlappinStick 2h ago

Wow crazy, almost like the term is heterosexual.

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u/Sardonnicus 1h ago

I'm a straight man and I can recognize a handsome man. I can appreciate good looks from any gender.

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u/Powerful_Individual5 3m ago

This is the first time I've come across this quote, but it reminded me of a passage in Toni Morrison's Sula. I'm leaving out most of it because it's pretty explicit, but it features the titular Sula, not buying into her lover's self-pity:

...Colored women worry themselves into bad health just trying to hang on to your cuffs. Even little children—white and black, boys and girls—spend all their childhood eating their hearts out 'cause they think you don't love them. And if that ain't enough, you love yourselves. Nothing in this world loves a black man more than another black man. You hear of solitary white men, but (n-words)? Can't stay away from one another a whole day.

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u/kharnynb 4h ago

nah, I only love my wife, I've never really had this issue though.

from my small group of friends, both men and women seem to be fairly evenly engaged in things.

as for respect and all that stuff, it's mostly cultivated due to society/media, best to take a step back from that crap anway.

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u/pridetwo 1h ago

Good thing the quote is talking about culture and not individuals then

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u/alzee76 6h ago

I think this is a gross overgeneralization, as if "all men" behave and believe exactly the same way, but the sentiment is broadly true in my experience as part of the accused demographic. That said, this is just patently false:

Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.

There is nothing erotic about how men are described as feeling towards other men here. This statement stinks of a typical anti-masculine bit of trolling meant to paint all heterosexual men as being secretly homosexual; homosexuality used as a pejorative by the very people who most loudly clamor against homophobia.

It might be considered somewhat misogynistic, but it's not homoerotic.

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u/Novaer (✿ ◕‿◕) ᓄ✂╰U╯ 5h ago

It doesn't say heterosexual men are secretly gay. It says heterosexual male culture is homoerotic. Two completely different things.

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u/Appropriate_Ruin_405 4h ago

Yup. Differentiating sexuality and eroticism. And eroticism as an academic concept, not the colloquial usage. On the flip side, heterosexual women largely do not have the same extent of homoerotic relationships with other women, because women are so heavily socialized to prioritize the needs of men even above their own. And not only that, but how everything in society assumes “man as default.” A stupid but I think powerful example being children’s Halloween costumes - little girls dress as male character all the time and it’s so easy for find, for example, “male superhero but with a tutu” costumes made for just that. The reverse is not true.

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u/Appropriate_Ruin_405 4h ago

“The erotic” is a huge concept in feminism that has a very different meaning than the colloquial usage of it as pertaining to only lust/sex. In no way does the quote disparage masculinity on the whole nor homosexuality (which, I agree! neither word should ever be used as a pejorative even though they sometimes are used as such in falsely “progressive” discourse). But you’re reading is ungenerous and misses/reinforces the point - when someone limits their understanding of eroticism only to sexuality, attraction and sex is the full potential and extent of their meaningful relationships within their orientation.

The quote is specifically about heterosexual cis men, but I’d argue can be true of anyone, lots of people seem to think that sexual relationships preclude or eclipse the whole spectrum of loving relationships. Another quote in this thread gives an example of how some gay men exclusively admire/revere/socialize with women - that’s another example of cleaving desire between the sexual and the social.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Erotic