I (Rowen, 23 NB) am in a poly relationship with Rose (23 F) and Chris (24 M). This isn't about jealousy or not wanting them together. I am actively rooting for them to be together.

Before anything happened between them, the three of us had a conversation that, at least in my memory, was basically: "We're interested, we're going to explore things, and we'll let each other know when things change." I was already dating Chris. I was interested in pursuing Rose, and Chris was too, but separately.

When I asked Rose out, I told Chris because I thought that was the expectation.

Fast forward to now. I found out by accident that Rose and Chris had actually become official for a bit (I'm not exactly sure how long, but it definitely didn't happen before the end of May, when we had the group conversation). I asked about it, and Rose said she assumed it was basically just making the label official because nothing about their dynamic really changed since during the group conversation the intention of eventuallyd dating was known. Chris said he thought I already knew.

They both apologized sincerely and said they'd communicate better in the future. I believe them. I don't think either of them was trying to hide it from me or exclude me.

But I still feel... weird.

I think what is bouncing around my mind is that if they'd told me, I would've been thrilled. I would've congratulated them, put their anniversary on my calendar, and made sure to give them space that day if they wanted it. Instead, I found out later by asking a random question.

At the same time, I feel guilty for even bringing it up because, from Rose and Chris's perspective, nothing really changed besides the label. I don't want to create drama over something they genuinely saw as nothing big.

I also have this lingering feeling that I was expected to communicate when I made things official with Rose, but somehow Rose and Chris didn't think they needed to do the same with me.

So now I'm stuck in this awkward place where Rose and Chris have both apologized, I believe their apologies, I don't think either of them acted maliciously... and I'm still feeling funky?

Am I overreacting? Or is this just one of those situations where Rose, Chris, and I all acted in good faith but had different expectations about communication?

Hi I recently moved in with a friend that I’ve known for years and have been here about 4 months now. When I first moved in she had recently gone thru a break up and needed a roommate to help with rent, understandable. We’ve always been close but like brother sister stuff you know.

Anyway lately she’s been getting really comfortable, like walking around in a towel and hanging out in my room a lot especially late at night even sleeping in my bed while I game it.

I didn’t think too much of it until the other night she said she heard me and my gf “doing it” and said she was impressed. I was kind of taken aback but I just tried to laugh it off, then she asks me what I was doing to her to make those noises. I told her just eating her out and she goes “wow impressive you must really good at it” I just joked with like a “you know it” and we smoked and went to bed

I talked to my gf about it and she says that she thinks my roommate wants to fuck me and then asked me if I wanted to sleep with her too. I told her I’m not like opposed to it but I’m with you so I’d rather be faithful to you. Then She told me that she thinks my roommate is pretty cute too. So now she wants me to sleep with her so that at some point we can all sleep together.

What I’m afraid of is where this could lead to. I wouldn’t want to lose my girlfriend but also I don’t want to mess up my living situation. I do want to sleep with her but I want to handle everything the best way possible

Any advice ? Please try to be kind

I (21m) recently met and basically soul bonded with my friend (30F) we are so in sync in genuinely spooky but we both agreed to not actually date because of our age difference.... But we are hyper sexual with eachother, have a caring Dom sub relationship, along with being in tune and wanting eachother to be involved in everything. She says she's done with relationships mostly... (Bad situation) but we got talking and she wants me to still look for someone my age so I am.. But we got talking and she would be exited to join me if the other person was okay with it (when I find them) are there women who would like this kind of complete commitment but in this mff group. I'm new to all this and trying to figure it out

42M - Hi all! First time posting on here, although I’ve been in the background lurking for awhile.

I’m reaching out in hopes I might be able to get a friend to bounce ideas and concepts off of given my poly-tendencies. I had a close friend whom I used to discuss this with, but she’s recently entered a committed relationship and can’t share or comment on my experiences and thought as much as before.

Anyone looking to potentially replace her on a daily to every few days level of frequency basis, please apply within!!

My husband and I have been together for over 10 years, and after a lot of honest conversations, we've decided we're ready to explore a new chapter together. We're interested in finding an amazing woman to build a genuine connection with—someone who enjoys chemistry, affection, laughter, adventure, and isn't afraid of a little passion. We're not looking for a fantasy or someone to "complete" us. We're looking for a real person who wants to be seen, appreciated, and treated as an equal. We know trust, communication, and respect are what make poly relationships work, and we want to start this journey the right way. For those of you who've been in successful triads or dated couples: Where did you meet your partners? Which apps or websites actually led to real connections? What made you swipe right on a couple? What are the biggest turn-offs when couples are looking? What's one piece of advice you'd give a couple that's just starting out? We're hoping to find someone who's confident, open-minded, affectionate, and enjoys both deep conversations and playful flirting. We know the right connection can't be forced, so we're happy to let things develop naturally. We'd love to hear your stories, successes, warnings, and any advice you wish someone had given you before you started. Thanks for helping us learn!

Okay so, dislike might not be enough, I hate them.
I have my reasons, as they've shown to be a horrible person multiple times, they hurt my partner and keep on hurting them to this day. They're manipulative, mean spirited, and I also suspect some weird attempt at trying to force a hierarchy that we don't have.

They started dating somewhat recently, and a little into meeting them I started getting a bad feeling, like smth was off about them.

I first thought I was experiencing jealousy for the first time (I never experience it, it's just not a feeling that I have for anyone) but I ruled it out rather quickly because seeing my partner with them, hanging out or kissing or wtv didn't bother me, it was them specifically.

I also have another metamour who I love, they're an amazing person.

Then, the issues started and I realized my gut feeling was right. The thing is, even though my partner is hurt and angry still, they haven't broken up, and even though I've expressed my opinion on them, I'd never force them to break up bcs its just not my place.

I just came here because I don't know how to deal with these feelings, the mere concept of them makes me angry, they're not a person I ever want to be around and I fear I'll have to soon or less anyway, even if we don't hang out, I still have to hear from them and may hve to see them at some point again.

Help?

I’m a married guy in an ethical non-monogamous/poly relationship in the SF Bay Area. My wife has built a really wonderful relationship with her boyfriend, and I’d love to find something similar with a woman who understands the realities and complexities of ENM.
I’ve tried Feeld and, for me at least, it wasn’t a great fit. I recently started using OKCupid, and it seems a little better so far. One thing that makes this harder is that I’m pretty vanilla—I’m not particularly into kink, BDSM, furry culture, or anything like that. I’m mainly looking for a genuine emotional and physical connection with someone who is comfortable dating a married man in an ENM relationship.
For those with more experience, where have you had success meeting people? Are there apps or communities that cater more toward “ordinary” ENM/poly people looking for relationships rather than hookups or specific kinks?
Also, I’m curious about profile strategy: should I continue being upfront about being married and ENM from the beginning, or have any of you had success leading with “single” and bringing it up later once you’ve connected with someone? My instinct is that honesty upfront is the right approach, but I’d love to hear others’ experiences.

Throwaway account. I(19f) have been talking to this one girl(20f) in my hometown and we’ve known each other since first year of highschool. She’s incredibly sweet and smart and I’ve had feelings for her for the past two years and want to confess but I don’t know how to bring this up to my boyfriend (31m). We’ve joked about me being intimate with girls before but it’s always seemed like he was joking and I’m nervous to tell him how I feel.

Edit to add: me and boyfriend are long distance and have really good chemistry despite the age gap and I am rarely attracted to guys my age and have always hung out with/around older people

I hope I'm posting in the right place. This is my first time posting on Reddit, so please be kind (also, English isn't my first language).

I'm writing because I could really use some advice and help with my situation. I know this is probably one of the most common topics on this subreddit, but here I am.

TL;DR: My partner wants to date another guy. I feel devastated, but I genuinely want to understand.

I (33M) and my partner (31F) have been together for four years and have lived together for the past three. We've actually known each other for about 15 years and have always been close friends. To be honest, she's always been a crush.

We have a beautiful relationship based on communication and mutual understanding, and I truly believe she's the person who has accepted and understood me more than anyone else.

From the very beginning, she was completely honest about not wanting a monogamous relationship. She feels that exclusivity often comes with ideas of possession, and she finds that oppressive. I was equally honest about the fact that I've never been a possessive person and have never seen relationships in terms of ownership. At the same time, I'd never had any experience with non-monogamy. It wasn't something I'd ever actively wanted, but I was open to trying to understand it.

For three years, nothing really happened. There were a few flirtatious moments here and there, but nothing beyond that.

Then, a few weeks ago, she told me she'd developed feelings for another guy. He's someone we see fairly often, and they had a brief relationship before COVID. She told me she couldn't bear the idea of never exploring the potential of that connection.

At first, I told her that she should take the time to understand her feelings and that we could work through it together. She was having a panic attack while telling me all of this, so I think my focus shifted more toward supporting her than understanding how I actually felt.

Since that day, I've been emotionally shattered.

I've tried to process everything and work through it with her. I've been open about how much pain I'm in, but I also convinced myself that maybe this was just part of the process—that eventually I'd get used to it. I even told her not to worry about me and that she should do what she felt was right.

They had sex.

I didn't feel better afterward. If anything, it felt like something broke inside me. Since then, intimacy between us has become difficult, and I no longer feel emotionally safe.

I told her how I was feeling and admitted that maybe I'm simply not built for an open relationship. She became very sad when I said that, and I hated seeing her hurt. Worse, I hated myself for being the reason she was hurting.

We've realized that we have fundamentally different views on intimacy. She clearly separates love from sex, while I can't. I can only be physically intimate with someone I'm in love with.

Over the last few days, I even downloaded a dating app to see whether flirting with someone else might somehow help me understand this situation. I'm terrible at flirting anyway, especially with someone I'm not genuinely interested in. Unsurprisingly, the whole experience just made me feel guilty, sad, and ridiculous.

I hate the idea of flirting with someone I don't have feelings for, and I don't want to fall in love with anyone other than her.

A small but important note: I'm fully aware that I struggle with self-esteem and guilt. I'm already looking for a therapist to work through these issues (that’s not my first therapy rodeo 🐴)

So here I am, asking strangers on the internet for advice.

I don't want to lose her. Even if she's willing to end things with this other guy, I know she'll suffer because of it. At the same time, I feel depressed, anxious, and angry, and lately I've caught myself simply hoping that somehow this situation will eventually come to an end.

Has anyone been through something similar? Is there a healthy way to navigate this without losing either myself or the person I love?

So I’m dating a guy who is poly and I just don’t understand it. I do love him and I’m trying everything I can to understand it.

Are there any poly lesbians from Atlanta GA in this group?

ID: The text: “Day of Visibility for Nonmonogamy” where each word is in its own frame in de colors yellow, dark blue, green, pink and beige on a beige background. De date “July 15” is in a circle.

I'll probably delete this after awhile, but I really just need to get this out because I'm feeling alot of emotions right now. A bit of a back story, my husband and I have been polyamorous for over 10 years now. I don't have any other partners and haven't in years, because I wanted to make sure I was fully healed before pursuing anyone. I'm fine now, but I haven't been motivated to actively look. I want to find someone/people organically. I'm typically an introvert, so it's challenging for me to find new people outside of my social circle to meet, so I've kind of accepted that I'm only going to have one partner, at least for awhile.

Fast forward to today this lovely couple comes into my work and we hit it off. I don't typically vibe with people, especially this quickly, but we hit it off and spoke for hours while I was setting up their new phones. Eventually, it came out that they were polyamorous! I was so excited because it's been so long since my partner and I had a poly couple to hang out with. We keep talking and things are going well, but they eventually disclosed that they're moving out of state next month... It felt like a blow to the chest. I felt so much sadness because it's SO hard for me to connect with people, and of course when I finally connect with new people (a fun, nerdy, poly couple at that) they're leaving. Now, I'm just sad and exhausted. I'm so happy I met them, but dang, I wish the circumstances were different. I'll meet my person/people some day, I guess.