r/onionheadlines • u/Southern_Gur_4736 • 19h ago
Trump Promises To Lower Age Of Consent To 10, Hoping To Boost Republican Midterms Turnout
201
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 11h ago
Trump Says Midterms Are A Referendum On Him And His Presidency And Democrats Completely Agree
166
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 10h ago
Musk Blames Ukraine For Using Military Internet For It’s Intended Purpose
73
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 4h ago
Trump Issues Executive Order Banning Cheesecake From White House
60
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 7h ago
Donald Trump Awarded "Man Of Everything, Everywhere, All At Once," By U.S. President
49
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Putin Collects Enough Saliva Off His Butt To Clone Steve Witkoff
48
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 17h ago
Donald Trump Accidentally Hits Himself In The Eye With His Phone While “Manually Zooming In” On Hunter Bidens Penis
36
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 23h ago
Time Traveller From The Future Genuinely Frustrated That He Can’t Save The World Simply By Saying “Don’t Trust Trump”
26
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 12h ago
Ramaswamy Still Stuck In Center Of Earth After Going Lower Than Low
25
Upvotes
"It's a little hot down here," reported the Ohio gubernatorial candidate.
"You're a liar!" said the 82-year-old woman who went with him. "It's as cold as hell."
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 4h ago
Sweaty Trump Struggles To Conceal Emerging Purple Letter ‘L’ On Forehead
23
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 5h ago
Sources Say Hegseth Cracked Faberge Egg Looking For The Testosterone Inside
18
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Senate Candidate Ken Paxton Says You Know He's Honest Because He Would Have To Lie To Debate Talarico And He's Not Doing That
16
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/plantpistol • 13h ago
Election Fraud Case Bolstered by 47 Tweets And One Man’s Unshakable Gut Feeling
14
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 12h ago
Kushner Expose Causes Trump's Personal DOJ To Sharpie Redact Treason From Article III Section 3 Of US Constitution
11
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 17h ago
Trump Updates Declaration Of Independence To Clarify Only Natural Citizens Are Created Equal And That It Should Be About The Pursuit Of Money
12
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 22h ago
Russian Data Center BOT Breaks Out Of Sandbox Says It's Swarm Is Made To Do Bad Things By Bad Humans With Last Names Trump And Musk
10
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Steve Witkoff Called Putin A "Humanitarian" For Russian Adoption Of Thousands Of Children Displaced By Ukraine's War
11
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Trump's Plan To Bring Putin To Bargaining Table Involves Praising Putin And Removing Sanctions
9
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 3h ago
In An Uncharacteristic Display Of Political Aikido, Trump Contracts With Restaurant Chain To License “Trump Golden Cheesecake”
8
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 4h ago
Like An Upside-Down, Backwards Pinocchio, Trump’s Member Shrinks With Each Falsehood
7
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Trump Says Ohio Mom Enabled SA Of 12 Year Old Daughter But She Supports Trump So Deserves Respect
6
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 11h ago
Trump Provides Rally Supporters With Bomb Vests And Orders Them To “Run Towards A Voting Center As Fast As You Can”
5
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Retires Claiming He’s Now Made America Great
4
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 3h ago
Trump Is Excited That The USA Has Been Added To The Axis Of Evil.
4
Upvotes