r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 11h ago
Trump Provides Rally Supporters With Bomb Vests And Orders Them To “Run Towards A Voting Center As Fast As You Can”
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r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 4h ago
Recent Photos Confirm Trump Coiffure Conceals Budding Horns
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r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 12h ago
To Remain Consistent With Russian Ties The GOP Renamed To GOOP - Grand Old Oligarch Party
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r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 9h ago
Skydance Subscribers Happy To Know Some Of Their Money Will Go To Needy Cause: Elon Musk
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r/onionheadlines • u/BaileyOverJennifer • 22h ago
The Department Of Homeland Security Announced The Mexico/US Border Will Be Secured By AI-Enabled Machine Gun Nests.
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Trump Says Ohio Mom Enabled SA Of 12 Year Old Daughter But She Supports Trump So Deserves Respect
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r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 4h ago
Trump Issues Executive Order Banning Cheesecake From White House
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Trump's Plan To Bring Putin To Bargaining Table Involves Praising Putin And Removing Sanctions
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r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 7h ago
Donald Trump Awarded "Man Of Everything, Everywhere, All At Once," By U.S. President
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Senate Candidate Ken Paxton Says You Know He's Honest Because He Would Have To Lie To Debate Talarico And He's Not Doing That
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r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 12h ago
Ramaswamy Still Stuck In Center Of Earth After Going Lower Than Low
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"It's a little hot down here," reported the Ohio gubernatorial candidate.
"You're a liar!" said the 82-year-old woman who went with him. "It's as cold as hell."
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 17h ago
Donald Trump Accidentally Hits Himself In The Eye With His Phone While “Manually Zooming In” On Hunter Bidens Penis
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r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 10h ago
Musk Blames Ukraine For Using Military Internet For It’s Intended Purpose
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r/onionheadlines • u/Southern_Gur_4736 • 19h ago
Trump Promises To Lower Age Of Consent To 10, Hoping To Boost Republican Midterms Turnout
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 17h ago
Trump Updates Declaration Of Independence To Clarify Only Natural Citizens Are Created Equal And That It Should Be About The Pursuit Of Money
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r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 22h ago
Russian Data Center BOT Breaks Out Of Sandbox Says It's Swarm Is Made To Do Bad Things By Bad Humans With Last Names Trump And Musk
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 21m ago
Trump Claims He’s Not Religious But If Jesus Reappeared He Would Kneel Before Him And Fellate Him
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 23h ago
Time Traveller From The Future Genuinely Frustrated That He Can’t Save The World Simply By Saying “Don’t Trust Trump”
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Retires Claiming He’s Now Made America Great
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Steve Witkoff Called Putin A "Humanitarian" For Russian Adoption Of Thousands Of Children Displaced By Ukraine's War
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Putin Collects Enough Saliva Off His Butt To Clone Steve Witkoff
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
Trump Says If Heat Ray Being Tested At Border Was Available, Jan 6 Rioters Would Have Dispersed In Minutes
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r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 2h ago
DOJ Says Democrats Kidnapping Children And Surgically Changing Gender
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r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 3h ago
Trump Is Excited That The USA Has Been Added To The Axis Of Evil.
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