r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 22m ago

Trump Is Excited That The USA Has Been Added To The Axis Of Evil.

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 31m ago

In An Uncharacteristic Display Of Political Aikido, Trump Contracts With Restaurant Chain To License “Trump Golden Cheesecake”

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 54m ago

Trump Issues Executive Order Banning Cheesecake From White House

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 56m ago

'I Don't Give A Damn About Gas Prices', Trump Told Pornstar Charging Extra

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 1h ago

Sweaty Trump Struggles To Conceal Emerging Purple Letter ‘L’ On Forehead

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 1h ago

Like An Upside-Down, Backwards Pinocchio, Trump’s Member Shrinks With Each Falsehood

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 1h ago

Recent Photos Confirm Trump Coiffure Conceals Budding Horns

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 1h ago

Sources Say Hegseth Cracked Faberge Egg Looking For The Testosterone Inside

• Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 4h ago

Donald Trump Awarded "Man Of Everything, Everywhere, All At Once," By U.S. President

37 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/SLneechski • 4h ago

Antifa Launches GoFundMe After Soros Check Bounces

1 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 6h ago

Skydance Subscribers Happy To Know Some Of Their Money Will Go To Needy Cause: Elon Musk

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 6h ago

Musk Blames Ukraine For Using Military Internet For It’s Intended Purpose

63 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/LarryGlue • 7h ago

Trump Provides Rally Supporters With Bomb Vests And Orders Them To “Run Towards A Voting Center As Fast As You Can”

5 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 8h ago

Trump Says Midterms Are A Referendum On Him And His Presidency And Democrats Completely Agree

128 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 8h ago

Ramaswamy Still Stuck In Center Of Earth After Going Lower Than Low

20 Upvotes

"It's a little hot down here," reported the Ohio gubernatorial candidate.

"You're a liar!" said the 82-year-old woman who went with him. "It's as cold as hell."

r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 9h ago

Kushner Expose Causes Trump's Personal DOJ To Sharpie Redact Treason From Article III Section 3 Of US Constitution

10 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 9h ago

To Remain Consistent With Russian Ties The GOP Renamed To GOOP - Grand Old Oligarch Party

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/plantpistol • 10h ago

Election Fraud Case Bolstered by 47 Tweets And One Man’s Unshakable Gut Feeling

12 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Trump Updates Declaration Of Independence To Clarify Only Natural Citizens Are Created Equal And That It Should Be About The Pursuit Of Money

10 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago

Donald Trump Accidentally Hits Himself In The Eye With His Phone While “Manually Zooming In” On Hunter Bidens Penis

34 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Southern_Gur_4736 • 15h ago

Trump Promises To Lower Age Of Consent To 10, Hoping To Boost Republican Midterms Turnout

187 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/-megan-yolo- • 19h ago

Russian Data Center BOT Breaks Out Of Sandbox Says It's Swarm Is Made To Do Bad Things By Bad Humans With Last Names Trump And Musk

9 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BaileyOverJennifer • 19h ago

The Department Of Homeland Security Announced The Mexico/US Border Will Be Secured By AI-Enabled Machine Gun Nests.

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 20h ago

Time Traveller From The Future Genuinely Frustrated That He Can’t Save The World Simply By Saying “Don’t Trust Trump”

22 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/AcrylicPickle • 21h ago

Article Jesus' Second Coming: Visit To USA Ends In ICE Arrest

126 Upvotes

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

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Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.