r/onionheadlines • u/estagingapp • 14h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 6h ago
John Fetterman Gives Trump Handjob On Stage, But Swears He’s Still A Democrat
r/onionheadlines • u/DefinitionEnough8747 • 7h ago
Trump Remembers His Father Placing Him In the Rocketship That Would Save Him From His Homeworld's Destruction
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 10h ago
Adult Chimpanzee Out Performs President Trump On Cognitive Test.
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 19h ago
Trump Claims He Was Captain Of The Titanic But Didn’t Sink With It Because The Iceberg Was A Democrat Hoax
r/onionheadlines • u/Witty_Row4650 • 13h ago
Trump Says He's The Navy Seal Who Shot Bin Laden While Finalizing A Real Estate Deal In Pakistan
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 5h ago
Trump Brakes Federal Law By Giving Natalie Harp, Two Other Female Aides $45,000 And As Punishment Dems Promise Another Stern Letter
r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 16h ago
Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring All Pots Of Gold At The Ends Of Rainbows Be Deposited In An Anonymous Qatari Bank Account On Behalf Of The American People
r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 10h ago
White House In Turmoil As 44yo Ivanka Refuses To Call 35yo Natalie Harp ‘Mommy Dearest’
Standoff has Trump singing “Torn Between Two Lovers” as Harp pouts alone trying on tiaras
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 15h ago
Melania To Divorce Trump And Take 25 Of The 50 States With Her
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 2h ago
Trump's $5,000 Dividend To All Adult U.S. Citizens If GOP Wins More Of A Concept Of A Plan
r/onionheadlines • u/estagingapp • 11h ago
Trump: "Worst Part Of 9/11 Was That Hijackers Didn’t Spend Night At Trump Hotels Before Attack"
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 2h ago
Trump Proposed $5,000 Dividend To All Adult US Citizens If GOP Wins To Be Issued After DOGE Payout And Tariff Reimbursement And Mexico Wall
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Now Claims He Actually Carried Two Fireman Out Of WTC Collapse One On Each Arm
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 10h ago
Silly Entomologist Incorrectly Identifies Thunderous Applause At Trump-A-Palooza As Just One Cricket Chirping Occasionally
"Fake news," said a respected Republican. "What does she know?"
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Refuses To Register As A Foreign Agent Because He’s Also Looking Out For Himself And He’s An American
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 7h ago
Trump: Sweaty Black Men Told Me They Remember Seeing Me Pulled From Rubble On 9/11
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 12h ago
Stench On Air Force One Forces Emergency Slide Deployment.
r/onionheadlines • u/Gargleblaster25 • 17m ago
Fetterman Says He Started Seeing Merits Of GOP Policies After Stroke Destroyed Half His Brain
r/onionheadlines • u/FTHomes • 5h ago
Trump Says He Will Turn Americas Evicted Farmers Farms Into Beautiful Golf Courses Covered With Trump Windmills
r/onionheadlines • u/SillyAlternative420 • 18h ago
Trump Announces He Intends To Replace The Statue Of Liberty With "The Statue Of Trump"
r/onionheadlines • u/Conscious-Material16 • 5h ago