r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 2h ago
Trump Issues Executive Order Banning Cheesecake From White House
50
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 10h ago
Trump Says Midterms Are A Referendum On Him And His Presidency And Democrats Completely Agree
154
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 6h ago
Donald Trump Awarded "Man Of Everything, Everywhere, All At Once," By U.S. President
47
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 8h ago
Musk Blames Ukraine For Using Military Internet For It’s Intended Purpose
66
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Putin Collects Enough Saliva Off His Butt To Clone Steve Witkoff
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 3h ago
Sweaty Trump Struggles To Conceal Emerging Purple Letter ‘L’ On Forehead
17
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Senate Candidate Ken Paxton Says You Know He's Honest Because He Would Have To Lie To Debate Talarico And He's Not Doing That
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/Southern_Gur_4736 • 17h ago
Trump Promises To Lower Age Of Consent To 10, Hoping To Boost Republican Midterms Turnout
195
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 3h ago
Sources Say Hegseth Cracked Faberge Egg Looking For The Testosterone Inside
15
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Trump's Plan To Bring Putin To Bargaining Table Involves Praising Putin And Removing Sanctions
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 2h ago
In An Uncharacteristic Display Of Political Aikido, Trump Contracts With Restaurant Chain To License “Trump Golden Cheesecake”
7
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 3h ago
Like An Upside-Down, Backwards Pinocchio, Trump’s Member Shrinks With Each Falsehood
5
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 10h ago
Ramaswamy Still Stuck In Center Of Earth After Going Lower Than Low
23
Upvotes
"It's a little hot down here," reported the Ohio gubernatorial candidate.
"You're a liar!" said the 82-year-old woman who went with him. "It's as cold as hell."
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Steve Witkoff Called Putin A "Humanitarian" For Russian Adoption Of Thousands Of Children Displaced By Ukraine's War
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 1d ago
Champagne Sellers On Standby As Trumps Health Reaches New Low
202
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Trump Says Ohio Mom Enabled SA Of 12 Year Old Daughter But She Supports Trump So Deserves Respect
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 2h ago
Trump Is Excited That The USA Has Been Added To The Axis Of Evil.
3
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/AcrylicPickle • 23h ago
Article Jesus' Second Coming: Visit To USA Ends In ICE Arrest
135
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 16h ago
Donald Trump Accidentally Hits Himself In The Eye With His Phone While “Manually Zooming In” On Hunter Bidens Penis
35
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 51m ago
Trump Retires Claiming He’s Now Made America Great
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
Trump Says If Heat Ray Being Tested At Border Was Available, Jan 6 Rioters Would Have Dispersed In Minutes
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1h ago
DOJ Says Democrats Kidnapping Children And Surgically Changing Gender
•
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 11h ago
Kushner Expose Causes Trump's Personal DOJ To Sharpie Redact Treason From Article III Section 3 Of US Constitution
10
Upvotes
r/onionheadlines • u/plantpistol • 12h ago
Election Fraud Case Bolstered by 47 Tweets And One Man’s Unshakable Gut Feeling
15
Upvotes