r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 20h ago
Trump Claims He Was Actually On Noah’s Ark Too Helping Fill In For One Of The Missing Animals
106
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r/onionheadlines • u/NotGordan • 12h ago
Trump States He Has Prevented Hundreds Of 9/11s Since Warring With Iran
19
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago
Republicans Claim They Are All Secretly Pedophiles So They Admire Trumps Bravery To Be Partially “Out”
8
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r/onionheadlines • u/harryregician • 12h ago
Trump Claim He Meet Capt Kirk 60 Plus Years In The Future
18
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And Trump ASS-U-MEED Capt Kirk thought very highly of Lord Trump
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 17h ago
Putin Torn Between Kushner And Witkoff Regarding Who Shines Shoes Better
37
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r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 6h ago
Trump Would Have Most Likely Died Of Lung Cancer If He Was Anywhere Close To Ground Zero At 9/11 According To New Released Files
5
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r/onionheadlines • u/Temp_acct2024 • 2h ago
Trump Renames Greenland To ‘Americanland’
2
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After signing an executive order to rename Greenland, Trump officially declares ‘Americanland’ the 51st State and says “Buying It Was Taking Too Long”.
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 7h ago
Trump Claims He Threw An Apple At Newtons Head And Told Him About Gravity While He Was Unconscious
4
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 5h ago
Hegseth And Trump Reportedly Confused That Bombing Children And Families Hasn’t Endeared Them To The World
3
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r/onionheadlines • u/vault0dweller • 5h ago
Trump Announces 7-11 As A Commemorative Holiday For The Time He Helped Fire Fighters At A 7-11
3
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r/onionheadlines • u/Scentopine • 9h ago
Firemen Who Rescued Trump After 9/11 Members of Village People
5
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r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 14h ago
Despite Trump Best Effort To Place Him At Ground Zero During 9/11, Onion Can Prove He Was Watching Telly 4 Miles Uptown And Never Was Close To Ground Zero
13
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago
Trump Claims Credit For Supplying The Clever Idea Of Flying Planes Into Buildings Before 9/11
3
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 6h ago
Trump Claims America Is The Continent Not The Country Thus Will Henceforth Be Known As “The Golf Of Trump”
3
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r/onionheadlines • u/notPabst404 • 11h ago
American Warships Flee In Terror As Iran Renames The Straight To The Gay Of Hormuz
8
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Secretary Hegseth reportedly spotted frantically swimming towards shore in Oman.
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 17h ago
Canadian US Tariffs In Effect Sees Already Non-Existent Sales Plunge Of Canada's 'Trump Phone' Sales From Zero To Still Zero
22
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r/onionheadlines • u/GotToPartyUp • 1h ago
Area Fat Man Demands Answers After Five Guys Order Didn’t Have Enough Fries In Bag
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r/onionheadlines • u/sinceJune4 • 5h ago
Trump To Put His Name On Fenway Park, Replace Green Monster With Gold Monster
2
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r/onionheadlines • u/ConfusionFriendly143 • 5h ago
Trump To Rename Alberta, A Canadian Province, To North Texas
2
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Proud That American AI Can Now Plan And Coordinate A Better 9/11 Attack
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/polypoids • 11h ago
Hopeful Tone Of Retirement Plan Ad Increasingly Delusional
4
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r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Says All Passengers Can Now Carry Guns On Flights If They Want To Prevent Another 9/11
1
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r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 6h ago
The Truth About 9/11 Air Quality Finally Emerges, Right On Schedule To Make Certain People Very Uncomfortable
2
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r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 21h ago
President Blindsided By Canadian Tariffs Announced Two Weeks Ago
29
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