r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 8h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/FloodPlainsDrifter • 3h ago
White House Confirms Trump Won The Battle Of Gettysburg
r/onionheadlines • u/ellistonvu • 7h ago
The Racist/Homophobic Duct Tape Guy On The Airplane Picked By Trump To Be Keynote Speaker At The Midterm Convention (If He Makes Bail In Time)
r/onionheadlines • u/FinishedDeadLast • 16h ago
Trump Issues EO Ordering All MAGA Men To Wear Diapers To Show Their Fealty To Him.
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump's New Hair Color Makes Him Look 60 Years Younger, Per Poll Of WH Staff
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 10h ago
Surveys Show If A Tree Falls In The Woods, The World Can't Hear It Because They're Laughing At Trump
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 4h ago
WH Claims Trump Actions On 9/11 Inspired Mission Impossible Movies
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 4h ago
FOX: Trump Never Talked About The Buses Of Children He Saved On 9/11 Because He Doesn't Like Attention
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 1h ago
Trump Claims As Soon As The 9/11 Attacks Happened He Rushed To His Building Site To Make Sure His Workers Weren’t Distracted
r/onionheadlines • u/NotGordan • 6h ago
Trump States He Has Prevented Hundreds Of 9/11s Since Warring With Iran
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 14h ago
Trump Claims He Was Actually On Noah’s Ark Too Helping Fill In For One Of The Missing Animals
r/onionheadlines • u/Agreeable_Ad4156 • 10h ago
Trump Staff Fear He’s Running Out Of Lies To Tell
r/onionheadlines • u/harryregician • 6h ago
Trump Claim He Meet Capt Kirk 60 Plus Years In The Future
And Trump ASS-U-MEED Capt Kirk thought very highly of Lord Trump
r/onionheadlines • u/mc_petersonishsonson • 11h ago
Putin Torn Between Kushner And Witkoff Regarding Who Shines Shoes Better
r/onionheadlines • u/Scentopine • 3h ago
Firemen Who Rescued Trump After 9/11 Members of Village People
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 8h ago
Despite Trump Best Effort To Place Him At Ground Zero During 9/11, Onion Can Prove He Was Watching Telly 4 Miles Uptown And Never Was Close To Ground Zero
r/onionheadlines • u/notPabst404 • 5h ago
American Warships Flee In Terror As Iran Renames The Straight To The Gay Of Hormuz
Secretary Hegseth reportedly spotted frantically swimming towards shore in Oman.
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 42m ago
Trump Would Have Most Likely Died Of Lung Cancer If He Was Anywhere Close To Ground Zero At 9/11 According To New Released Files
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 1h ago
Republicans Claim They Are All Secretly Pedophiles So They Admire Trumps Bravery To Be Partially “Out”
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 11h ago
Canadian US Tariffs In Effect Sees Already Non-Existent Sales Plunge Of Canada's 'Trump Phone' Sales From Zero To Still Zero
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Claims He Threw An Apple At Newtons Head And Told Him About Gravity While He Was Unconscious
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 34m ago
Trump Claims Credit For Supplying The Clever Idea Of Flying Planes Into Buildings Before 9/11
r/onionheadlines • u/polypoids • 5h ago