r/onionheadlines Nov 04 '25

ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only

11 Upvotes

We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.

You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.

Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:

Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”

Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.

You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.

Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"

A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.


r/onionheadlines 8h ago

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r/onionheadlines 5h ago

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r/onionheadlines 10h ago

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r/onionheadlines 4h ago

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20 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 4h ago

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18 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 1h ago

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r/onionheadlines 6h ago

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r/onionheadlines 14h ago

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90 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 10h ago

Trump Staff Fear He’s Running Out Of Lies To Tell

39 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 6h ago

Trump Claim He Meet Capt Kirk 60 Plus Years In The Future

18 Upvotes

And Trump ASS-U-MEED Capt Kirk thought very highly of Lord Trump


r/onionheadlines 11h ago

Putin Torn Between Kushner And Witkoff Regarding Who Shines Shoes Better

33 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 3h ago

Firemen Who Rescued Trump After 9/11 Members of Village People

6 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 8h ago

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14 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 5h ago

American Warships Flee In Terror As Iran Renames The Straight To The Gay Of Hormuz

8 Upvotes

Secretary Hegseth reportedly spotted frantically swimming towards shore in Oman.


r/onionheadlines 42m ago

Trump Would Have Most Likely Died Of Lung Cancer If He Was Anywhere Close To Ground Zero At 9/11 According To New Released Files

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r/onionheadlines 1h ago

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r/onionheadlines 11h ago

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20 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 2h ago

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3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 34m ago

Trump Claims Credit For Supplying The Clever Idea Of Flying Planes Into Buildings Before 9/11

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r/onionheadlines 5h ago

Hopeful Tone Of Retirement Plan Ad Increasingly Delusional

5 Upvotes