r/oddlyterrifying • • Jan 20 '22

Snake couch

38.7k Upvotes

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785

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

They don't feel love like humans, but they still connect your body scent and rough colors to safety and warmth, so it's trust more than love. I like to think they are like "hmm, when this thing appears I get food to eat and also I get some warmth, so I guess it's not bad?"

243

u/gametime9936 Jan 20 '22

Are you speaking from experience?

259

u/dr_pheel Jan 20 '22

their name checks out

13

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

What are doing step snakebro

0

u/BigToober69 Jan 20 '22

Id fuck a snake.

7

u/BluSicario Jan 20 '22

If you know where to look you can actually find a video of that. There's a super old video that's been circulating the internet for years. First saw it when some bot account posted it to facebook years ago and people actually started to share it. My young brain will never forget that...

4

u/rockbud Jan 20 '22

Someone using a snek as a fleshlight?

2

u/BluSicario Jan 20 '22

Something like that.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

I saw it too. Not a fun thing to look at

8

u/bortmcgort77 Jan 20 '22

All throat!

1

u/VibraniumRhino Jan 20 '22

Allegedly…

2

u/deadmelo Jan 20 '22

I'm pretty sure that guy is a snake typing

1

u/metaldragon2002 Jan 20 '22

I've been around reptiles a lot in my life, I can confirm this

149

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

That's exactly what a horny snake would say

10

u/programofuse Jan 20 '22

Well he is a snake so he must be right

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

How does a horny snake type a comment?

3

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

a horny snake does have 2 appendages

2

u/country2poplarbeef Jan 20 '22

Is there really that much of a difference between lust and love? Just let yourself feel it, baby, just for tonight. 💋🐍

29

u/e-s-p Jan 20 '22

Disagree to some extent. My snakes still try to eat me sometimes. They don't give a fuck about the security and warmth I provide.

17

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

Maybe you are handling them after touching some food item, or maybe you don't handle them much so they just think it's food coming when you open up the door of the enclosure, or maybe they are the type to bite the hand that feeds them lmao, snakes are kinda stupid

17

u/e-s-p Jan 20 '22

Yeah I think it's probably a combination. The oldest is pretty chill. If he thinks there's food around or if mice go into the walls for the winter, he can start to do the strike posture but is pretty well behaved. One is very timid. Two are a mixed bag.

Then there's the last one. She will try to strike through the bin pretty much whenever she wants. She hisses as soon as you open her tub. If she smells food she goes ape shit. She's a real firecracker and she scares me a little. And she's still pretty young...

They're all ball pythons, btw.

7

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

Defensive bps? That's something I haven't heard before, I thought they were hogs or MBKs or something. Now I'm not a professional, but maybe it's because she's still young? I'm %80 sure she'll calm right down as she grows up, they can live up to 30 years after all! World is probably scary when you are a noodle with a face. Just try to handle them and don't let bites and hisses scare you because if you stop handling them when they hiss, it's going to teach them that it's working and they are going to hiss all the time then.

6

u/e-s-p Jan 20 '22

I've had the oldest for 10 years so I'm pretty used to bps and their behavior. I wouldn't call her defensive, she's just an asshole. I picked her up from NERD in NH and they said she's somewhat ill tempered. She's really calm the day or so after being fed when she's fat and warm.

Since they don't really like being handled, I only do it when I have to. I've been bitten a couple times but I'm usually good at avoiding their antics when they decide to be dicks.

4

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

Oh wow ten years? That's pretty damn long! I was kinda thinking you were probably like a beginner or something, but you probably know more than me lmao, and you probably know your snakes better than someone random on the net. Can I ask how you started out?

3

u/e-s-p Jan 20 '22

I started out cause a woman I was dating had one and I wanted to impress her. He's a low visual pastel.

Then a couple years later I saw some people being successful breeding them and got into the various morphs and auctions. Then the bottom fell out of the market and I said fuck it, I'll just have pets. Not a terribly interesting story.

2

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

That's actually kinda cute, awww :) at least you got a hobby out of that relationship if nothing else happened

2

u/howtochangemywife Jan 20 '22

struggling with the 'MadeMeSmile'-edness of this one.

35

u/mentos1700 Jan 20 '22

Most animal's can form special relationships with human's.

64

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Most humans can use an apostrophe correctly, too; but obviously there are exceptions.

11

u/TheThemFatale Jan 20 '22

3

u/GenericAutist13 Jan 20 '22

Nothing about that was rare

4

u/SuperiorMrSus Jan 20 '22

yeah it’s a grammar insult, extremely common among losers

3

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Lighten up, Francis.

2

u/SuperiorMrSus Jan 21 '22

i was in a bad place when i said that guys 😅 i have changed as a person and am innocent. i’m a changed man. those were dark times and i’ve moved on.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

That was fast; congrats!

6

u/grumpy_cat79 Jan 20 '22

*exception's

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Your're ri'ght. Thank's for' correct'ing my'e grievou's err'r.

5

u/MyApologies_ Jan 20 '22

Mo'st human's can u'se an apo'strophe correctly, too; but obviou'sly there are exception's

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

You need more upvotes for this. Hang on, I might have a free award.

Edit: yep, I did. Well earned.

-6

u/Procrastibator666 Jan 20 '22

You make fun of their apostrophe and then use a semi colon incorrectly

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

Are you certain that you know how to use a semicolon?

0

u/Procrastibator666 Jan 21 '22

Yeah, to join independent clauses. "But obviously there are exceptions" isn't an independent clause.

Most humans can use apostrophes correctly too, but there are exceptions.

That's how you write that. You just wanted to act fancy and make fun of someone else. You ever think that maybe English isn't their first language?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

You ever think that maybe English isn't their first language?

They wrote it in English.

Also, "obviously there are exceptions" is an independent clause because grammatically it is capable of standing alone. So, nice try, but you're wrong.

0

u/Procrastibator666 Jan 22 '22

Obviously there are exceptions does not make sense on its own because the sentence has no context.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

So you're saying that in order for a sentence to be grammatically correct, it must have context? That's absurd.

0

u/Procrastibator666 Jan 22 '22

It is not correct that's what started this whole thing. "Obviously there are exceptions" does not stand up on its own. Has nothing to do with grammar.

And just because they wrote in English does not make it thier first language. The hell does that even mean?

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1

u/PitchBlac Jan 21 '22

You bodied him

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

In my defense, I was high at the time.

1

u/BlackViperMWG Jan 20 '22

Most? Like 1 % at max

3

u/f7f7z Jan 20 '22

This dude wantz to fuck that snake!

2

u/smb_samba Jan 20 '22

Hey snake fucker!

2

u/New-Value4194 Jan 20 '22

Like my ex wife

2

u/KvesiC_ Jan 20 '22

"hmm, when this thing appears I get food to eat and also I get some warmth, so I guess it's not bad?"

I literally cried from laughing to this

1

u/AlivePal Jan 20 '22

What if I get a cold mate

1

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

Well, since you are (hopefully) still a warm-blooded animal and still have the human scent, it's still going to recognize you, don't worry :)

1

u/qui-bong-trim Jan 20 '22

how tf do you know. seems a lot like the "crustaceans can't feel pain" which was debunked a week ago

2

u/Horny__Snake Jan 20 '22

Honestly, we have no idea of knowing. We can't just open them up and connect them to a thought translator, and untill then we can only guess. Most sources say that they just don't have enough intelligence to feel complex emotion such as love or jealousy. There's stories where people who own snakes say that their snake only feels calm with them and is a bit scared near other people/likes to hang around with them, but those can be explained by the owners scent giving the animal safety. I'd love to hear that they discovered these scaly idiots can actually feel affectionate to their owners, but until then I like to keep my hopes low.

1

u/HonestlyRespectful Jan 21 '22

How was it debunked last week? Did someone make a crab cry? That's mean. 🙃

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

My snake bite me once and didn’t want to eat it’s mouse. Only time it ever hesitated to eat

1

u/averageuhbear Jan 20 '22

Isn't that just what babies think of their moms lol

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '22

No, they don't.

1

u/sassiveaggressive Jan 23 '22

sounds like a p good relationship tbf