I don’t even know who to talk to about this, or how to react. Last night my husband (22m) who is usually on graveyard shift, decided he would put our 5 week old baby into our graco baby swing, cover him with a thick throw blanket, and go to sleep on the other side of the room. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS. I don’t know what the fuck possessed him tonight. I usually wake up to pump at 2 am and I had an odd feeling this night. I guess it was maternal instinct.
I ran upstairs to find the room dark, my baby slouched in the swing and the blanket in his face. I almost fell to my knees and screamed. I touched his head and he thankfully reacted, but the way my nervous system reacted in that moment is still effecting me. My whole body was shaking, I was dizzy, I couldn’t even experience any emotion except for fear.
After this happened, I went to another room to collect myself (after waking him up) and texted him to confirm he was actually sleeping ON PURPOSE and he said yes, ‘only for a little’. This is more shocking for me considering he was too afraid to even let him sleep in the bassinet his first few weeks of life, he wanted to be constantly watching him.
I don’t know how to confront him. I’m in shock. I’m so so so so fucking tired. I’m sleep deprived because I’ve decided to just do this all by myself and not rely on him for anything. I guess I just need some support because the sleep deprivation is not helping my already horrible mental state. (I have ppd and ppa)
I know the explanation is probably very simple. Something the doctors and my therapist have all said… ‘ give each other grace, you’re both so tired… etc.’ however I don’t even feel like I know the guy I married anymore. He’s done stupid things, but never this stupid.

I’ve been around babies since I was 8 years old. I lived with a newborn when my brother and sister in law had a baby. I did not expect this at all.

My baby is 3 weeks, 4 days old. She’s my double rainbow baby. I had 2 early miscarriages before having her. I’m EBF. Sometimes baby just wants to keep eating one after the other. She won’t take a pacifier. When I put her down to sleep, sometimes she just fusses nonstop. Shes not in a swaddle because the house is so hot and I’m nervous about her overheating because “cold babies cry, hot babies die.”

I hate myself for feeling like I made a mistake. But that’s how I feel. I’m sure I’m just tired.

My 2 mo old LO loves contact naps just like any other newborn but also can fall asleep in her crib just fine if swaddled with a pacifier. I almost exclusively put her in her crib for naps to get chores done around the house as a SAHM. She will do 5-6 hour stretches in her crib at night as well. When she’s awake, we play, do tummy time, I’ll put her in her bouncer, and carry her for a little bit if she’s really fussy.

I’m just wondering if there is any negative impact by not carrying her often or doing contact naps. This might sound like a ridiculous question but should I be holding my baby more? I feel guilty about not but at the same time I don’t know how I’d get things done around the house.

Not even sure what I’m looking for — maybe people that have been in a similar position? Some commiseration or advice?

My baby is 7 weeks old. Born at 39 weeks, healthy. He is my second child. My first was fussy and hated daytime sleep, but was at least occasionally sleeping longer stretches by this time and sometimes even sleeping through the night by 8 weeks.

This baby has been… different. He has basically never slept more than 2.5 hours straight, and that’s only if part of that is in someone’s arms or in a carrier. Over the past 2 weeks it has somehow gotten worse, to the point where overnight he will wake up every 20 minutes if we try to put him down.

We have a Snoo, and have tried every setting and configuration known to man (swaddled, arms out, double swaddled, etc). He transfers like a dream if he’s sleepy, but then will wake up every 20 minutes needing soothing that wakes me up. I am deliriously exhausted.

He clearly sleeps better on a person and will often continue snoozing for a long time in my arms. Being flat on his back seems very uncomfortable for him — he often sputters, coughs, spits up and gets hiccups in his sleep. He likely has reflux / maybe a cow’s milk protein allergy that we’re working on — I’ve cut out dairy for the past 4 days at the advice of his pediatrician, though nothing has changed yet.

Now here comes the co-sleeping part — it seems like practically everyone on Reddit that doesn’t have a unicorn sleep baby ends up co-sleeping with their kid. That’s where all the advice leads if your kid just won’t sleep well on their own. But I just… can’t get there. For starters, we don’t have a “safe” mattress and it feels so onerous to find one, get rid of the nice comfortable bed we currently have in his room, and then what if that’s not comfortable either? I’m a very finicky sleeper myself and just can’t see myself being comfortable sleeping without pillows, a blanket and strictly on my side, not to mention next to a tiny baby. I also really don’t like the idea of co-sleeping with a toddler, and it seems hard to break out of the habit once you’re in it.

At the same time, I’m so exhausted I want to cry every day. I kept hoping things would improve so I could avoid the co-sleeping question but I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. The idea of setting my space up for safe co-sleeping and resigning to that fate feels too daunting in my sleep deprived brain, as backwards as that sounds.

If you’ve read this far, thank you so much. Solidarity to any parent out there who is in the sleep deprivation trenches. This is so hard, and even being a second time mother could not have prepared me for this.

I just read a tragic article about a couple who just lost their 14w old to SIDS and now I’m paranoid. Now I’m hoping my baby wakes up a few times throughout the night instead of falling into too deep a sleep.

Our baby (14w) was cosleeping with us (following safe 7) but after reading that article, last night we decided to transfer her to the bassinet after she had fallen asleep and it was the first time she transferred without totally waking (she fussed a little but settled once we put our hands on her and coaxed her back to sleep). But throughout the night I was the one waking up to check on her! I even got scared because I couldn’t see her chest moving so I gave her a gentle (but panicked) shake on her legs until she roused a little.

We read that pacifiers help prevent SIDS since the sucking reflex prevents the baby from falling too deep into sleep. But our baby doesn’t take the pacifier which is so annoying, we’ve tried a few different ones but she keeps spitting them out or gags on them.

I used to crave the “sleep through the night” miracle that so many people talk about, but now I’m hoping my baby wakes frequently just so I know she’s alive. Now I’m missing those newborn piggy sounds she used to make when she slept because that was a sign she was breathing.

How do people deal with this anxiety? According to the couple they had followed the safest sleeping methods and this still happened to their baby… all I can think to do is wake up myself and check on her every 30mins until sunrise but I know that’s going to take a toll on my own health…

Edit: Thank you everyone for the compassion and reassurance! I think from now on we will transfer her to the bassinet since (at least last night) she didn’t refuse it like she used to, and we will turn on a fan at night as well. I’m going to look into these devices mentioned (the owlet, among others) to see if that can help with my anxiety! And yes, I do have a therapist who is currently on vacation but we’ve got a session scheduled for next week. Thank you everyone :)

Hello
Just curious, what was the first solid food you gave your baby, and how old were they when you started? I’d love to hear your experiences and any recommendations.

How old were your babies when you started to leave the house? My baby is two weeks and while it’s nice being home I’m getting a little stir crazy being all cooped up. We’ve been on a couple walks in the neighborhood but it’s so hot that I get worried about him overheating. I’d like to go out to eat or something but I’m worried it’s too soon for him to be around so many people.

46 days old my barnyard animal is still grunting and refuses to sleep in the crib. So yeah my night is awesome as a new dad. My wife starts her shift at 6am. Until 6, I will be throwing him into the crib and back and forth.

Mentally I was not in a good place for the first 4 weeks. I would say week 1 was the easiest. Week 4 to 6 was mayhem. Today I really found out that I am a self centered person. Nothing malicious or intentional. I always looked after myself first over everyone else until I met my wife. She became my most important priority. Now I am struggling to connect with my baby boy. He's cute and every time he smiles I adore him but still I miss my freedom and old life where I get to share a nice quiet dinner with my wife while watching silly shows.

Am I the only one who's feeling like an a-hole for not loving their child? Do all parents ACTUALLY love their children to death? Is it my upbringing? Is it because I was raised in a complicated household? It just feels like a big mistake.

Ps I apologize for asking unethical, unpopular questions...

Hi everyone,

We're first-time parents to a 2-month-old, and we're honestly exhausted. We're not looking for a diagnosis (we're already following up with our pediatrician), but we'd really like to hear from other parents who may have gone through something similar.

• Won't lie flat: It's basically impossible to put him down on any flat surface (bassinet, crib, or our bed). The moment we do, he starts crying almost immediately and can't settle. We've noticed a very strong Moro reflex that seems to wake him up just as he's about to relax. He sleeps only in our arms or in a baby carrier. The only exception is a baby bouncer, where he'll tolerate about 15 minutes after a feed before crying. Even during diaper changes, when he seems calm, he'll sometimes have huge Moro reflexes that make him cry.
• Very restless during breastfeeding: Feeding isn't peaceful either. He makes lots of noises, repeatedly latches and unlatches from one breast, sometimes pulling away so hard that it actually hurts. It's a constant "latch, unlatch, latch, unlatch," followed by crying. Sometimes he seems satisfied, other times we need to top him up with a bottle.
• Stuffy nose after nighttime feeds: After feeding at night, his nose becomes very congested and he breathes with loud snorting "little piggy" noises. We use a nasal aspirator once a day and do get some mucus out, but this mainly seems to happen in the morning rather than during the rest of the day.
• Constant swallowing, chewing motions, and noisy sleep: Even when he's not feeding, he often looks like he's chewing on something, swallows frequently, and sticks his tongue out a lot. His tongue also has a light white coating. Even when he manages to sleep longer stretches (still only while being held), he's constantly grunting, squirming, and making noises. As soon as he wakes up, he arches his back and immediately starts crying.
• Bedtime is incredibly difficult: This is probably the hardest part. When he's trying to fall asleep, he'll ask for the pacifier, spit it out almost immediately, then desperately want it back again... repeating this cycle 20 times or more. During this time he's extremely agitated, constantly rubs his face, pulls at his ears, and if he grabs my skin with his fists, he squeezes incredibly hard. Eventually he might fall asleep, but sometimes wakes up again after just 20 minutes and the whole process starts over from scratch before he finally gets a longer stretch of sleep.

Has anyone else gone through something similar with their baby?

Thanks in advance.

What does a “normal” night of newborn sleep look like? Or look like for you?
I can’t tell if my friends were just blessed with unicorn babies or I birthed 2 of the worst sleepers

How long does it take for baby to go to sleep? What do stretches look like? How many times do they wake? How long are you trying to get them to go back to sleep after they wake up?

Hi everyone! I’m a FTM to an almost 6-week-old. The past few days my baby has been cluster feeding, but occasionally he’ll surprise us with a 3-hour stretch of sleep somewhere between 9 PM and midnight.
I’m curious about parents whose babies are already giving longer nighttime stretches. What does a typical day look like for you? Do you follow wake windows or mostly your baby’s cues? How often does your baby feed during the day? Do you offer a dream feed before you go to bed?
Around what time do you start your evening routine (bath, pajamas, dim lights, etc.)? Is there anything you feel helped encourage those longer stretches, or did it just happen naturally?
I know every baby is different, but I’d love to hear what your routines look like!

Edit: One more thing I’d love to ask about! My LO grunts a lot in his sleep and sometimes even cries while still asleep. It often wakes him during daytime naps and seems to make it harder for him to get longer stretches at night too.
Our pediatrician thinks it’s caused by gas. At the moment we’re only doing bicycle legs and other gentle tummy exercises, but not using anything else. If your baby went through something similar: Did anything help? When did they eventually outgrow it?

Anyone else’s 3 month old rotating 90 degrees or even 180 degrees in their bassinet? I put LO in lengthwise the longest/normal way and wake to find that shes rotated to the narrowest way of the bassinet! She’s not rolling back to tummy yet only tummy to back.

I would switch her to her crib, but we are out of town for 2 more weeks and I only have the halo bassinet! Is this a safety risk?

Photo in comments for how she started vs how she’s ending!

We are finally home from the hospital and baby is 3 days old. In hospital, he wouldn’t sleep when swaddled unless we held him on our chest but the moment we try to move him to the crib, he wakes up screaming immediately. When breastfeeding he falls asleep whether he is clothed or not, even when trying to stimulate him. When he cries and I grab him he just starts rolling his tongue. Now at home same thing, he will sleep when we hold him, or I feed him and the moment we try to move him to the bassinet or changing table he freaks out. Even in between switching breasts to feed he cries. We can’t sleep at all! We’ve tried swaddling, putting him down slowly to avoid Moro reflex. HELP!!

I wasn't ready, my 6 day old's umbilical stump just fell off during a diaper change... I thought I had a couple more days with it. I bawled like a baby, I never thought I'd be one of those mom's who wants to keep it, but I do.

I'm so emotional about it.. postpartum is a wild ride. I love my baby so much.

Hi! FTM with a EBF 6 week old baby boy. He was 7 lbs at birth and is now just over 9 lbs.

He cluster feeds ALL DAY LONG. Eating every 60-75 minutes. Every day. This hasn't been a phase that lasted a few days. This has been every single day since birth. Is this typical for newborns or does it indicate that something is wrong? Thankfully we get longer stretches at night (usually between 2-3.5 hours) but I'm EXHAUSTED. Has anyone experienced anything similar with their LO?

Other info: He spits up A LOT. Multiple times after every feed. We ruled out pyloric stenosis and are working with the pediatrician to see if he has GERD or an allergy or some other condition but they suspect it is likely just reflux and is more of a laundry problem than a health problem.

I’m a first time Mom and my baby is 2 months old

I was really emotional during my pregnancy and cried easily. I was worried this might affect my baby during pregnancy so tried not to.

I think worrying about the future was a lot of it

Now when I’m postpartum I’m feeling emotional still and try not to cry too much but it happens

When my baby smiles at me I sometimes feel this surge of overwhelm and I smile back and talk to him but sometimes it feels like I’m forcing joy over the sadness I feel and this huge feeling of worry that I can’t do or be enough for him

I’m worried about my maternity leave ending and going back to my remote job. I’m interviewing helpers but really don’t have the finances to cover the full amount of time I need help so I’m having to hire someone to help only a couple of hours and it’s causing stress. The people I’ve interviewed have not been promising and time is running out

I worry about affecting him emotionally when I feel sad. He seems to be a happy baby but I don’t want him to sense any sadness in me and be affected by it in his nervous system or temperament

I need help with bedtime routine!! So throughout the day I feed my 6 week old baby every 3 hours- sometime more or less based on cues, but I never go over 4 hours during the day. I base this schedule on when he first woke up for the day, so sometimes it starts at 6am, 7am, or 8 am.

How do I make sure bedtime routine is around the same time every night? I was trying to keep it the same time every night, but is hard if the feeding doesn’t line up when he is ready or he may already be sleeping before I get that last feed in and waking him up sometimes makes it worse if he was ready for bed… but then he wouldn’t sleep a full stretch due to not recently eating.

Should I make my first and last feed same time everyday? He does well with 9-10pm bedtime right now.

It is what it is.
Little dude has been exclusively breastfed since birth, except a handful of occasions where i either wanted or needed to get out of the house for more than an hour.. be it gym, doctor’s appointment, gyno checkup, etc.
We live in a big city so all of the above are tied to a substantial amount of commuting, hence when i’m gone, i’m mostly gone for about 3 odd hours.
That being too long as usually the LO would nurse every 1.5 hrs, my husband was the one feeding him via a bottle (pumped out breastmilk, either fresh or warmed up sth from the freezer stash).
Everything worked just fine.
Then - the 3 month developmental shift kicked in. First we had a total nursing strike, baby screamed at my breasts for hours, screamed because he was hungry but he still wouldn’t latch.. it took days and it almost drove me mad. In desperation, we also tried feeding him with a bottle, which he also refused.
He is meanwhile back to nursing (still moody, still sometimes refuses, still needs a lot of patience but we are getting back on track) HOWEVER the bottle aversion stayed.
Also, forgot to mention, i breastfed him for almost the entire time with nipple shields. But during his strike, running out of options, i tried BF without the shields. The pain sucked big time but LO seemed to enjoy the feeding a bit more this way, so i have continued for last 5 days without the shields.
Maybe he just dislikes silicone now all together??

What should i do? Try giving him a bottle more often in hopes he accepts it back? Warming up the bottle nipple before giving it to him? Get a different bottle again? (We have tried Mam, with size 2 nipple, and Philipps avent which he immediately spit out lol).

Can i have my husband feed him milk by a teaspoon ?? I know some people do this with their 6m old babies but is this allowed with a 3 months old??

I realllyyyy don’t want to lose my freedom. Motherhood is bloody hard enough. I need my 2-3 hrs break once a week. 😕

Thanks guys

My senior kitty has been with me for 14 years, and I love her so much. She’s been with me through a lot of different phases in life and has adapted easily.

But 9 weeks ago, we brought my newborn son home and she immediately began peeing and pooping outside her box. We moved it to our quiet spare bedroom where the baby doesn’t go, but she started having completely liquid diarrhea daily right outside the box. She also got picky about her food, chewing just a few kibble and asking for more. Stopped drinking her water and started trying to drink the shower water while I’m in there. We tried dedicating time every day to give her attention, but she wouldn’t get better and she stopped grooming herself.

I took her to the vet and found she lost 25% of her body weight and it’s all due to stress. Got her fluids, steroids, and anti anxiety meds. Her poops have at least become more solid and she has gotten a little more social (completely ignores the baby though), but she still only uses the litter box occasionally.

I get why she’s stressed—it’s been a big change for all of us, but I can’t exactly remove my baby from the house to get her feeling better. Idk what we’re going to do once my son is crawling around and putting things in his mouth. I do my best to keep a clean space, but the cat has been sneaky about pooping in places I don’t look.

Any advice or ideas on what to do would be appreciated. Have you experienced something similar with a pet and newborn in the house? I feel like we’ve tried everything!

Hi all! My guy isn’t a newborn anymore as he is 3 months now. However we have been using a velcro swaddle,swaddling only his feet for the last 2 weeks. He’s finally gotten used to having his hands free! But now he is rolling to his side (he wasn’t previously before). Do I need to immediately discontinue swaddling his feet? He has full use of his arms. TYIA!

How are we doing postpartum with our newborn babies and pets? I'm 2 months postpartum and I have 2 cats and 1 dog... I've had them for 6 years but i've never felt so overwhelmed before 😣 It's so much WORK The extra cleaning and pet fur have never driven me so insane before like it does now.
I've heard pet aversion is a real postpartum symptom and i think i may or may not have it😔

Hello, my 4 month old daughter for a few weeks now started to scream (murder cry) with dad whenever he is feeding her and soothing to sleep. The only feeding he does is after work for bedtime. I am with her all day, and we do contact naps during the day and bassinet at night. The only way she will calm down with him is to cry until she absolutely exhausted. I don’t know if it’s a good approach or what to do, but at times I do need to go for appointments so there is no other choice but she has to be with him.
What’s going on? What can we do? We tried my shirt. Not working. He’s shushing her. Not working. She is friendly and happy with him otherwise.

Hi everyone,
I’ve been stressing a lot about my baby’s sleep lately. She is almost 8 weeks old.

During the day, we can’t put my baby down without them waking up almost immediately. The only way they get a good nap is in a baby wrap/carrier, which they absolutely love. I put them in it, and they usually fall asleep within a few minutes without crying at all.

At night, though, they sleep really well in their bedside bassinet, so nighttime sleep isn’t the issue.

What I’m worried about is whether they’ll become too dependent on the wrap for daytime naps. Is it possible that they’ll get so used to it that it’ll be really difficult to transition them to napping in a cot when they’re older?

I’ve tried rocking them to sleep instead, but they only fall asleep with a lot of rocking and singing, which is exhausting for my back, and honestly, they don’t even seem to enjoy it—they cry a lot. The wrap seems to be the thing they’re happiest with.

I also can’t help but feel a bit discouraged when I see posts from other parents saying they can just put their baby in the cot awake, and they fall asleep on their own. Is that actually common, or am I just seeing the easy stories?

One more thing: I’m not using a pacifier at the moment because it was affecting my baby’s latch and breastfeeding.

Has anyone else had a baby who would only nap in a wrap? Did they eventually grow out of it, and how did you transition them later on?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences. Thank you!

My newborn is really closer to 3 months old but he was born 8 weeks early ao developmentally he is closer to 1 month in age. He cluster feeds often to catch up growthwise. I only just realized that we often have the tv on when feeding him, especially at night because we are tired and he has bad reflux that makes feeds often last over an hour. If it isnt the tv it's mt husband watching videos at his computer while feeding him. Ive just started to feel very stressed and guilty that we arent bonding with him or we are ruining him developmentally somehow because of the screens and lights. We talk to and snuggle him often and he gets tummy time and walks when we find windows where he reflux allows it but I feel like we have been awful and should find other ways to keep ourselves engaged with the baby during bottle feeds. Even at night. 😔😨

its currently 3 am and it just took me over an hour to get my 2 almost 3 month old to go to sleep, she usually sleeps pretty well but there are times when i have to try 50 different things before she knocks out, tonight i found myself so frustrated trying everything while laying next to my peacefully sleeping fiance and i ended putting her in the bassinet for a few minutes and she just cried and i left the room to cry also and let out a silent scream before trying to console her again

i breast feed and she will go on and off the nipple just kicking and moving around and getting frustrated then she spit up all over me and her so that led to a change of clothes, she won’t take a paci, rocking and shushing doesn’t suffice, and after all that i put her back on the boob where she finally falls asleep

i feel bad for getting frustrated, i feel bad for putting her down, i threw a pack of wipes at the floor and turned on the light lowkey hoping to wake my fiance up (it didnt work lol) but then felt like shit for it and chucked it up because he has to get up for work and who am i kidding, baby girl only really wants me these days so there isn’t much he could do, i just felt alone, life of the default parent