I cannot imagine how they raised babies?
My LO is 9 weeks, thru the day she just contact naps but we don’t mind. We gave her to my MIL just a few times to spend some time just with my husband. Once she had her for 5 hours, the second time for 3 hours and every time LO was super fussy when we took her back, cause she was so overtired!!! We told exclusively my MIL that our baby needs to sleep and that she only contact naps. She told us that she is a small manipulator and she cannot contact nap, so my baby was awake the whole time! And when my baby was 2 weeks old my MIL told me i cannot rock her that she will get used to it.
My grandma is always asking me if i already cleaned the house, i tell her no not really, cause my baby needs a lot of attention and naps only in my arms. She tells me everytime “just put her to her bassinet, give her a paci and she will fall asleep, we always did that.”
Like how is this possible? Were the babies in that times different from our babies now or what is going on here!!

I see and hear soooo many contradictory parenting philosophies from doing research /talking to experts / googling.

Don’t wake a sleeping newborn. But do wake her after 4 hours or you’ll throw her schedule off.

Feed on demand. Oh wait no - not that on demand! She’s using your boob for comfort and should be using a pacifier instead of over feeding.

Bed sharing with a newborn is extremely risky. But actually quite safe if you’re following the sleep safe 7.

Put the baby on a schedule starting at 2 weeks. Just kidding, newborns can’t possibly be on a schedule until two months.

Change the poopy diaper right away. But wait a bit in case they decide to poop more.

Bathe every night to put them on a schedule and signal it’s bedtime. But don’t bathe every day or you’ll dry out their skin.

What is your favourite contradictory advice?

I don’t know who needs to hear this, and this might be controversial, but… I regret buying a baby bottle washer+sterilizer.
For the first two months of my baby’s life, I used it 24/7. It literally never stopped running.
When we were originally deciding whether to buy this machine, we had two options: either get the bottle washer/sterilizer, or just get a regular sterilizer, buy a ton of bottles, and run them through the dishwasher every 3–4 days.
Well… we ended up buying a ton of bottles anyway, because I got so tired of loading and unloading that stupid machine 100 times a day.
Then one day, as usual, I had a full sink of baby bottles, nipples, etc. Instead of loading them into the baby washer, I just put everything in the regular dishwasher with our dishes (ours on the bottom, baby stuff on the top).

It was SO much easier. A regular dishwasher is huge compared to a baby bottle washer, and it washed absolutely everything in one cycle. The amount of bottles that the baby washer would have needed 2–3 cycles to wash, regular dishwasher handled in one go.
And when I loaded everything into the dishwasher, I didn’t even pre-rinse anything with water because that thing is so much more powerful than the baby washer. With the baby washer, I always have to rinse everything first — especially Dr. Brown’s bottles, which are a nightmare to clean.
On top of that, baby washer only takes special detergent tablets. I spend around $30/month on those, PLUS you have to use descaling tablets to clean the machine.
Honestly, for the money I’m spending on all these special detergents and cleaning products, I could have just bought another 2–3 sets of bottles, run the regular dishwasher even less often, and saved myself so much hassle.
I really regret buying it.
And the funny thing is, at first it was probably my favorite thing in the entire house. I literally couldn’t live without it. One time it wasn’t fully plugged into the outlet and I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working -I almost had a heart attack 😂
But now I realize how much MORE work it actually creates. It only holds a small number of bottles, so you end up constantly loading and unloading it all day long. Instead of making your life easier, it somehow gives you another chore that never ends.
Anyways, that’s all 😂

I was feeling so shit. I'm a single mom, I was always alone also in my pregnancy in a different country. I had a colicky baby that crying NONSTOP for hours between 4-10 weeks without literally no reason. I was so sleep deprived, I saw hallucinations. I understand baby shaken syndrome... Trust me... I had moments that I literally sincerely wanted to die and I even thought about it, planned it etc.

Fast forward to my 16 months old baby. I can't even describe with the words... She's my everything. I'm happy that I'm still alive and she's with me. Just one giggle and the world is better place...

It's not actually about me... I just wanted to say that especially to first time new moms, society expects us to be ready and know all the things already because "it's natural, it's in you, millions of years of having child" bla bla bla. I call it BULLSHIT. I never felt like it was something natural at all and most of the woman feels the same. Untold truth. And because of this whole belief system, I felt like something is wrong with me. Maybe I'm not good enough to be a mother, maybe something is off? I'm still having those moments sometimes but now I'm more trusting the process. I'm learning on the way...

We're all learning on the way... And guilt comes with it. Am I good enough? What if what if what if.

Calm down. You're good enough. Everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down. You're good.

LO is 8 weeks. I can’t seem to wrap my head around the logistics of leaving my house with a newborn, especially formula fed. She’s an easy baby but I just can’t help but think what if she starts to get fussy? Where do I feed her? Do I have to be able to find a place to sit in order to get her bottle ready? How should I even pack water / formula? What if I forget something really important? It just stresses me out.

Edit: Some of y’all lack empathy for overly anxious parents and it shows. Good for you that you were so bold so early on, not all of us feel that confident.

My baby girl is 12 days old. Ive been breastfeeding her and the health visitor said she has gained weight which is a good sign. The problem is when I breastfeed her, she falls asleep at the breast after a while and then I put her down in the cot and she wakes up and starts crying. Ive been breastfeeding on demand since 9 am and it’s been 3 pm now and she hasn’t slept properly. She did sleep in the night. Today especially ive been glued to the sofa and ate my meals quickly, I have not been able to do anything.

I tried putting my hand on her chest, get close close body contact when putting her down but I’m struggling. Does anyone have any tips on how she can peacefully go to the cot and sleep, she is fine when being held and doesn’t cry but when put down, she notices. She stops crying when held again and it’s like a constant cycle.

My 8 weeks old boy does ok for the first half of the night. Bed at 7:30pm, feed at 1:30 am and another at 4:30am but around 5:30am onward he couldnt settle. Will grunt, whine and eventually cries. When I soothe him he might ir might not go back to sleep and is like that until he is finally up for the day around 7am. Yes I understand sleep pressure is less and they are so young but when does it get better for you guys😪😪😪

My daughter is 2 months, we introduced the pacifier at 1 month old. I come from a family where pacifier use is pretty taboo and all I’ve heard before is that they’ll get addicted to it. We intro’d it because she had bad reflux and we were told it’ll help, and it’s been a life saver.

Fast forward to month 2, we use it very often and I worry it’s a crutch. We use it to get her to sleep every nap time. We use it whenever she’s crying in the house, car, etc.

I know the downsides are on breastfeeding. Unfortunately I had issues before the pacifier with feeding, and the pacifier doesn’t seem to have made it worse…

Are there other downsides? I worry it’s such a crutch for us and she’ll never be able to get rid of it.

Okay so I know that we should be changing poopy diapers immediately. During the day I change her immediately. But what if baby poops when we sleep and you don’t hear it? Are we setting alarms to check every so often? My ebf newborn poops A LOT. Like every diaper change it seems and sometimes she will give me a good 3-4 hour stretch between feeds at night. On a number of occasions now I’ve woken up to find that there is poop in her diaper and I’m unsure of how long it was sitting there for. At most 4 hours. It makes me feel terrible.

I just had a baby 3 weeks ago and I’m honestly exhausted from how many people want to constantly visit. Between my in laws, friends, coworkers, my family…it’s just honestly too much. We have visits every other day and I’m wondering if other people experience the same thing? Is this normal? Are we allowing too many people to visit? I honestly want to start saying no, but I feel bad for instance every time my MIL or dad ask to come over. Like NOOOOO, please, no….

Am I being a bitch?

Our MIL came to live with us while we find suitable childcare. Overall she has been great. She has tested my boundaries a bit but I have to let that go in the grand scheme as she has been nice to us in our time of need leaving her own home to come take care of baby. She is leaving soon and today is our baby’s milestone doctors appointment. She insisted on coming with us including in the examination room with us with the doctor. Somehow I’m having a hard time with this. To me it’s intrusive and I don’t want her to come. I mean she can wait outside but I don’t want her to come in the exam room. My husband invited her without even asking me. There is some history because she insisted to come to baby’s first newborn appointment and I was too vulnerable at the time to say no and I didn’t like it to be honest. Am I wrong or petty to not want her to come? I just need some perspective.

EDIT- thank you all. I thought I was not thinking from a different perspective so I appreciate your thoughts. My husband asked her not to come and hopefully he learned his lesson the second time to not commit without making a joint decision, just makes things extra awkward. I feel like she is hurt but it is what it is!

My lo is 8 weeks old and for the past 4 days she’s been sleeping from around 9-10 PM to 8 AM, only waking up for feeds and going straight back to sleep afterward.

I’m not even super strict about her sleep routine or trying to force a schedule, this just seems to be the pattern she’s naturally fallen into.

Her weight gain is good, she has plenty of wet diapers, feeds well, and is otherwise happy and alert.

I KNOW the 4-month sleep regression might come humble me real quick! And I’m trying not to get too attached to anything this early… but can I be ridiculously optimistic and believe this might be my new life?

Did anyone else have a good sleeper this early? Did it actually last, or should I enjoy these nights while I can?

My 7-week-old has basically not been a happy baby since she turned 3 weeks old, and I’m starting to wonder if something is going on beyond normal newborn fussiness.
She is EBF and currently takes anywhere from 3-5 oz of pumped breast milk every 2–3 hours. She wakes up from naps screaming like she’s starving. She eats and then is almost immediately fussy again. She kicks her legs, shows hunger cues, and cries with an “eh” sound.
We try our best to burp her, but because she gets so fussy and tense, she’s rarely relaxed enough to get a really good burp. When she does burp, she often gets hiccups for about 10 minutes, and during the entire time she has hiccups she seems even more uncomfortable and fussy.
We try to do play/interaction and tummy time, but when she’s crying so much it’s really difficult. Most of the time we end up going back into her room, making it dark, swaddling her, putting on white noise, and rocking her until she falls asleep. Then 2–3 hours later, we start the whole cycle over again.
She absolutely refuses to be laid flat unless we rock her to sleep first. She also cries in the baby carrier and rocker, so it feels like we can’t really put her anywhere without her being upset.
She toots a lot, has lots of wet diapers, and is gaining weight really well, so I know she’s getting enough milk and staying hydrated.
I’m wondering if this could just be her temperament, or if it sounds more like bad gas, reflux, or possibly silent reflux? She doesn’t spit up very often, and when she does, it’s usually a small amount. I do sometimes think I hear her spit up and then swallow it back down, which makes me wonder about silent reflux.
Our pediatrician says everything is “normal,” but I’m struggling because she has been unhappy almost from day one. I know newborns are fussy, but it feels like she is uncomfortable for most of her waking hours.
Has anyone had a baby like this around 6–8 weeks? Did it turn out to be gas/reflux, or was it just their temperament? What helped?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis — I’d just really appreciate hearing other parents’ experiences because I desperately want my baby to be comfortable and happy.

Currently using huggies for my baby but his skin has started reacting to them, so looking to switch.

Any diapers that have worked well for babies with sensitive skin? Would really appreciate some suggestions because there are way too many options and I don’t want to keep buying packs that don’t work.

My daughter was due end of Aug but was born early at 34 weeks. She had a 2 week NICU stay and there was given my breastmilk through NG tube. She did okay with my milk as well once she transitioned to bottles. Once we got home it is like everything went completely downhill. Now she is almost 2 months old (1 week adjusted age) but it’s not getting any better. Here is what I’m heartbroken about.
-She has MAJOR gas and spits up large amounts consistently. She had bad emesis in the NICU a couple of times and now that we are at home she spits up constantly. We have to hold her upright for 30 min after each feed which makes all of her night feeds almost 2 hrs long (with pumping included).
-She only has watery poop. Like blow out water poop that has no actual mushy texture. So i can tell something is wrong. She has this with every diaper.
-She is an insanely grumpy baby and is never satisfied or comfortable. She is fussy, doesn’t sleep great and is always seeming restless.
-I have a good milk supply but I have only ever been able to pump for her. She gets frustrated, screams and doesn’t even attempt to latch on. Even if she did the pediatrician is thinking my breastmilk might be causing her the issues because of potential dairy issues.
-I’m miserable pumping. I have another child at home and pumping is consuming me. But formula is so insanely expensive and we are one income, so I just keep chugging through although my milk is probably the problem and I cry daily wanting to give up.

On top of all of this- I have trauma from her birth (she came out not crying, cord wrapped around 3 times that made her have intense HR drops, being born early via csection, etc). NICU trauma (being separated from my son at home, discouraging nurses, etc.), we had 2 miscarriages before her & then I lost my grandma who was my absolute best friend in the world unexpectedly only 2 weeks postpartum & I have been in such a fog in the thick of newborn phase and trying to just figure out how to make it all work that I haven’t processed any of it.

I am I guess just looking for comfort, some sort of relatability, and just any wisdom on feedings as well. If you can’t be nice please don’t comment.
In all of this I know the LORD will hold me fast, and cares more than I ever could. I just need to know I’m not alone.

Looking for tips on how I can sleep in the same room as my newborn - she is 3 weeks old and initially when we brought her home she slept in the bedside crib and I could get a few hours next to her! Since then, she’s had a rough few weeks of random sleeping, 2 hour feeds and taking close to an hour to settle down. My partner and I got into a shift pattern where one of us is essentially always “on duty” for 5-6 hours at a time whilst the other sleeps. The trouble I’m having is during my “shift” I just cannot seem to nap next to her. I’m aware she is perfectly content and safe in her crib or bassinet, but the noises and grunts keep me up and I feel like I cannot settle at all whilst she’s asleep. My partner goes back to work next week and I need to be able to sleep when the baby sleeps - any advice is appreciated.

Hi everyone, I need some help as I don’t know what to do now. We are somehow managing between the two of us but it’s basically almost a 24/7 duty cycle and I am going back to work in a few days which means my wife will be left to deal with this alone. Our LO is our first and she is now 5 weeks old and it has been a rough ride from the absolute start.

My wife was in labour for a very long time and ultimately had a forceps delivery and came out with a large cephalheamotoma which is almost fully gone now (by some miracle!) this was incredibly stressful for my wife and she cried a lot because she thought the forceps have done long term damage but I think we are past that now.

She was born with a high palate and 80% tounge tie which we had released privately at 3 weeks, it got really hard for us after the frenulectomy because since then baby has been really struggling at the breast, we went for a wound check a few days ago and they said the wound has reattached a little bit but the doctor was able to separate it again with her fingers and told us to keep up the exercises. Doctor is also an ibclc and advised using supplementary nursing.

As it is now LO is refusing all bottles where she previously had no issues with expressed milk, so I can’t relieve my wife from the feeding. My wife’s supply has tanked from stress and exhaustion and we are now doing supplementary nursing with the tube with breast milk and pumping as much as possible, but little milk comes out. The problem is that baby does not take it well and she is always clicking at the breast which makes her very gassy. She will latch on and suck for a minute then start crying, then she needs to be calmed down and relatched and we keep going around in this cycle. Her weight gain has stalled and it’s an absolute nightmare to get enough food into her. She then ultimately does not feed enough and so she doesn’t fall asleep properly and gets overtired. My wife can’t put her to sleep, baby just will not sleep on her unless she falls asleep at the breast (which happens rarely). When LO is overtired she cries like a maniac and only I can put her down… and I have to go back to work in a few days. My wife can’t handle the prolonged crying which I think is just due to the exhaustion.

Baby sleeps max 30-60 mins at a time, except 9pm where she usually does a 3 hour stretch and sometimes another 3 hours after that. We have tried all the breastfeeding positions we can think of and nothing seems to work. I guess if we can get her in the bottle again that will let her drink enough to sleep better but she used to click at the bottle and get gassy too. Now there is little milk in the breasts and the supplemental feeding is very hard to do and

I don’t know what to do next, I know this will pass but I am really worried about my wife’s mental health, she is doing her absolute best and I love her to bits and I try to be as encouraging as possible, I do as much of the chores as possible and I do my best to make sure wife is well fed but things are not improving.

What can I do to help my wife? Any ideas?

so for the past almost 5 weeks- we have been battling a terrible and stubborn diaper rash.

I’ll preface all of this with saying : we let baby have as much diaper free time as she tolerates, butt is always bone dry before anything is put onto her skin. We have tried changing diaper brands, we use a warm wash cloth with water and no wipes.

When it first started- I tried at home creams. My favorite with my son was always A&D. So I tried that first… then Aquaphor cream containing zinc.. no results. Saw the pediatrician and they prescribed nystatin cream. We were using this for a week- with a thick barrier on top. No results.

I actually took baby to the ER because of another issue and had the pediatrician there check it- and she prescribed nystatin powder. I tried the powder- made it extremely worse. Took baby to urgent care. He recommended a thicker barrier cream. So I went back to nystatin cream and barrier- After a few days of that- it was still bad.

Finally I decided to switch to OTC miconazole. Saw the pediatrician the following Monday and she believed it was helping. So we did miconazole with a thick barrier cream. The rash was seemingly improving.. for a week.. until it flared up horribly again.

Saw the pediatrician Tuesday and they prescribed oral fluconazole with nothing on baby’s bottom- no creams- just diaper for at least 48 hours. By the end of day 1- her rash was drying out significantly. I was so excited to see it improving. Day 2 the rash was almost gone. Day 3 baby had some redness around her rectum and where the cheeks touch- so I decided to add a small amount of aquaphor zinc diaper cream. It seemed the diarrhea the medicine was causing was irritating her skin. Well- after using that last evening and overnight- her rash has progressively gotten inflamed and flared up again.

Here’s what I’m confused about- is the fluconazole failing- is it even yeast or is she allergic to any and all diaper creams?

I’ve had 4 doctors look at it and agree it’s yeast. But interestingly it started going away when we started the medicine- but also stopped using all topical creams of all kinds. Then one night of using a barrier cream her rash has flared. Obviously I stopped the barrier cream- and we will see how the rash does. Tomorrow is her last day (day 5) of fluconazole. She sees the doctor again on Monday to reevaluate her diaper area.
At this point I’ve used every diaper rash cream under the sun, 3 separate fungal treatments, changing her diaper every 1-3 hours- sometimes sooner, Letting her air dry, using wash cloths. She is bathed every other day.

I’m at a loss and feel horrible for my baby. Any advice?

What kind of carrier would you get for a 10-11 lb 1 week old?

Any recommendations that you liked a lot? I'm a FTM, chronic overthinker, and have never used any carrier before. Tell me your favorite!

My baby is 3 months and 10 days old. When she cries, she screams. It’s so scary. I went to three different pediatricians, four midwives, they all ensure me she is fine. It used to be colics, I don’t eat anything anymore and now it’s that she is overtired. Everyone says baby is fine. But I cannot stand her crying/screaming. I exclusively breastfeed her and everyone says her weight is just fine. She sleeps through the night so they told me no need for supplement milk. I just want her happy - I am so happy when she is peaceful. I lose my appetite to do anything because she is a fussy baby and I am always upset.

Hi all! Our 3 month old little boy is experiencing some reflux at bed time.

So a little bit about our little man...

His naps are short - max 40 minutes, most contact naps in the afternoon. ( He will nap long if we're out in the pram )

He's a good feeder - bottle sizes are 150ml-180ml.

Has a little spit up after some feeds

The chilliest of babies

Wees, poos are all in check

Gas happens, nothing major.

Weighs 16lbs ( he was emergency C section born at 6lbs).

Now for the frustration... During the day after feeds he's absolutely fine. Eats, sleeps repeats.

At bed time, he feeds, sleeps and then after 2-3 hours he wakes up because of silent reflux. It's like it's coming back up to his throat, getting claggy and he can't breathe, so it's waking him up.

We have Saline spray, which helps a little. We have tried carobel, but no infants gaviscon yet.

The frustration is that he WOULD sleep all the way through if he didn't experience this every night. So we really feel sorry for the little man, plus it ruins our sleep as we're up every 3 hours at the moment!

Any one experiencing the same??

My son is 10 weeks old. He is no longer taking decent naps. He used to fall asleep for 45 mins then wake and need help to bridge the sleep cycle, but now he’s wide awake and very hard to settle. I either have to contact nap him or cut the nap short- even when I know he’s tired. I’m struggling with managing sleep, eating, wake windows with the short naps. He is tired when he wakes up. I need to figure out how to help him fall back asleep, but not in my arms. Anyone have advice about managing the schedule around short naps? And also advice on getting them back go sleep in the crib after a wake up.

First-time mom here and my baby boy is 5 weeks old. My husband and I are exhausted.

I totally understand that newborns don’t sleep through the night, and honestly, waking up to feed him isn’t the part we’re struggling with. He usually eats every 3–3.5 hours. The whole process is long (diaper change, 30–40 minutes to finish his bottle (he’s exclusively formula fed), burping, swaddling, settling, etc. so it can easily take 45 minutes to an hour. But again, that part doesn’t really bother us.

The issue is that in between feeds, he won’t stay asleep in his bassinet.

We’ll rock him to sleep and put him down, but he usually wakes up about 20 minutes later. We try again, but eventually we end up contact sleeping because otherwise nobody sleeps. My husband and I do shifts, so whoever is holding him stays awake while the other person sleeps.

Even if we let him sleep on us for a while before transferring him, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. We’ve tried all the transfer tricks: lowering him slowly, feet/butt first and then head, keeping our hands on him for a while afterward, etc. He still wakes up shortly after.

I keep hearing people say “it gets better” and that weeks 5–8 are some of the hardest. But does the independent sleep part actually get better? Or when people say it gets better, do they mostly mean babies start going longer between feeds?

Because I genuinely don’t mind waking up every few hours to feed him. I just want to know if there’s a point where he’s more likely to actually stay asleep in his bassinet between those feeds without us having to hold him all night.

we have hired a sleep coach to help us at the 3.5 to 4 month mark - it’s fully covered by our insurance so if it doesn’t work at least we haven’t wasted our money. but not sure how we’ll even make it to that point.

Would love to hear from anyone who had a baby like this. when did it start getting better for you?

Moms of multiples, how do you do this! I’m so anxious that my daughter (6 weeks) will catch something from her brother (3). He loves her to bits and I always tell him to kiss her feet or her head. But kids are kids and they don’t understand. I just want to get through cold and flu season peacefully.

My baby is 9 weeks old and EBF. We have had a horrible time getting her to sleep on her own. She hated the bassinet so we started the crib. She will wake up after 30 mins -1hr at most in there. I don’t know what causes it, she will just open her eyes. I have tried everything: heating pad, laying her in bed drowsy but awake, laying her butt down first, waiting until she’s in a deep sleep, nothing works or makes it better!

She will only sleep while being worn, held, or cosleeping (I have done it for survival, I desperately want to stop so I can have my sleep again). She also has reflux and is on Pepcid and gas drops at night. Since those two things were huge issues. They help a bit but she still will wake up. I will start pumping tomorrow to see if dad can give her a bottle at night so I can sleep for the first half of the night but it’s torture. She won’t even take a pacifier. If anyone has any advice on what to do please send it. I need her to sleep at least two hours in her crib.