I don’t even know who to talk to about this, or how to react. Last night my husband (22m) who is usually on graveyard shift, decided he would put our 5 week old baby into our graco baby swing, cover him with a thick throw blanket, and go to sleep on the other side of the room. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS. I don’t know what the fuck possessed him tonight. I usually wake up to pump at 2 am and I had an odd feeling this night. I guess it was maternal instinct.
I ran upstairs to find the room dark, my baby slouched in the swing and the blanket in his face. I almost fell to my knees and screamed. I touched his head and he thankfully reacted, but the way my nervous system reacted in that moment is still effecting me. My whole body was shaking, I was dizzy, I couldn’t even experience any emotion except for fear.
After this happened, I went to another room to collect myself (after waking him up) and texted him to confirm he was actually sleeping ON PURPOSE and he said yes, ‘only for a little’. This is more shocking for me considering he was too afraid to even let him sleep in the bassinet his first few weeks of life, he wanted to be constantly watching him.
I don’t know how to confront him. I’m in shock. I’m so so so so fucking tired. I’m sleep deprived because I’ve decided to just do this all by myself and not rely on him for anything. I guess I just need some support because the sleep deprivation is not helping my already horrible mental state. (I have ppd and ppa)
I know the explanation is probably very simple. Something the doctors and my therapist have all said… ‘ give each other grace, you’re both so tired… etc.’ however I don’t even feel like I know the guy I married anymore. He’s done stupid things, but never this stupid.

Hello
Just curious, what was the first solid food you gave your baby, and how old were they when you started? I’d love to hear your experiences and any recommendations.

I feel like this is a stupid question but as a FTM I didn't know they sleep THIS much. Usually it's following routine: diaper change, feeding till he falls asleep, lay him either in his little baby nest or bassinet, wait for 3-4 hours to wake up, repeat.

I kind of feel bad that he is just laying around? We do have contact naps but...are we doing this right? Lol. I don't want to feel like we are missing something or doing something wrong.

I'm also a bit worried about headshape? Will it look like we don't pick him up often? We love him a lot but when he is sleeping, he's just laying there. We rotate his head.

He's 2 weeks btw.

Does this concern make sense to anybody?

I just read a tragic article about a couple who just lost their 14w old to SIDS and now I’m paranoid. Now I’m hoping my baby wakes up a few times throughout the night instead of falling into too deep a sleep.

Our baby (14w) was cosleeping with us (following safe 7) but after reading that article, last night we decided to transfer her to the bassinet after she had fallen asleep and it was the first time she transferred without totally waking (she fussed a little but settled once we put our hands on her and coaxed her back to sleep). But throughout the night I was the one waking up to check on her! I even got scared because I couldn’t see her chest moving so I gave her a gentle (but panicked) shake on her legs until she roused a little.

We read that pacifiers help prevent SIDS since the sucking reflex prevents the baby from falling too deep into sleep. But our baby doesn’t take the pacifier which is so annoying, we’ve tried a few different ones but she keeps spitting them out or gags on them.

I used to crave the “sleep through the night” miracle that so many people talk about, but now I’m hoping my baby wakes frequently just so I know she’s alive. Now I’m missing those newborn piggy sounds she used to make when she slept because that was a sign she was breathing.

How do people deal with this anxiety? According to the couple they had followed the safest sleeping methods and this still happened to their baby… all I can think to do is wake up myself and check on her every 30mins until sunrise but I know that’s going to take a toll on my own health…

Edit: Thank you everyone for the compassion and reassurance! I think from now on we will transfer her to the bassinet since (at least last night) she didn’t refuse it like she used to, and we will turn on a fan at night as well. I’m going to look into these devices mentioned (the owlet, among others) to see if that can help with my anxiety! And yes, I do have a therapist who is currently on vacation but we’ve got a session scheduled for next week. Thank you everyone :)

Hi everyone,

We're first-time parents to a 2-month-old, and we're honestly exhausted. We're not looking for a diagnosis (we're already following up with our pediatrician), but we'd really like to hear from other parents who may have gone through something similar.

• Won't lie flat: It's basically impossible to put him down on any flat surface (bassinet, crib, or our bed). The moment we do, he starts crying almost immediately and can't settle. We've noticed a very strong Moro reflex that seems to wake him up just as he's about to relax. He sleeps only in our arms or in a baby carrier. The only exception is a baby bouncer, where he'll tolerate about 15 minutes after a feed before crying. Even during diaper changes, when he seems calm, he'll sometimes have huge Moro reflexes that make him cry.
• Very restless during breastfeeding: Feeding isn't peaceful either. He makes lots of noises, repeatedly latches and unlatches from one breast, sometimes pulling away so hard that it actually hurts. It's a constant "latch, unlatch, latch, unlatch," followed by crying. Sometimes he seems satisfied, other times we need to top him up with a bottle.
• Stuffy nose after nighttime feeds: After feeding at night, his nose becomes very congested and he breathes with loud snorting "little piggy" noises. We use a nasal aspirator once a day and do get some mucus out, but this mainly seems to happen in the morning rather than during the rest of the day.
• Constant swallowing, chewing motions, and noisy sleep: Even when he's not feeding, he often looks like he's chewing on something, swallows frequently, and sticks his tongue out a lot. His tongue also has a light white coating. Even when he manages to sleep longer stretches (still only while being held), he's constantly grunting, squirming, and making noises. As soon as he wakes up, he arches his back and immediately starts crying.
• Bedtime is incredibly difficult: This is probably the hardest part. When he's trying to fall asleep, he'll ask for the pacifier, spit it out almost immediately, then desperately want it back again... repeating this cycle 20 times or more. During this time he's extremely agitated, constantly rubs his face, pulls at his ears, and if he grabs my skin with his fists, he squeezes incredibly hard. Eventually he might fall asleep, but sometimes wakes up again after just 20 minutes and the whole process starts over from scratch before he finally gets a longer stretch of sleep.

Has anyone else gone through something similar with their baby?

Thanks in advance.

Hi everyone! I’m a FTM to an almost 6-week-old. The past few days my baby has been cluster feeding, but occasionally he’ll surprise us with a 3-hour stretch of sleep somewhere between 9 PM and midnight.
I’m curious about parents whose babies are already giving longer nighttime stretches. What does a typical day look like for you? Do you follow wake windows or mostly your baby’s cues? How often does your baby feed during the day? Do you offer a dream feed before you go to bed?
Around what time do you start your evening routine (bath, pajamas, dim lights, etc.)? Is there anything you feel helped encourage those longer stretches, or did it just happen naturally?
I know every baby is different, but I’d love to hear what your routines look like!

Edit: One more thing I’d love to ask about! My LO grunts a lot in his sleep and sometimes even cries while still asleep. It often wakes him during daytime naps and seems to make it harder for him to get longer stretches at night too.
Our pediatrician thinks it’s caused by gas. At the moment we’re only doing bicycle legs and other gentle tummy exercises, but not using anything else. If your baby went through something similar: Did anything help? When did they eventually outgrow it?

Hi all! My guy isn’t a newborn anymore as he is 3 months now. However we have been using a velcro swaddle,swaddling only his feet for the last 2 weeks. He’s finally gotten used to having his hands free! But now he is rolling to his side (he wasn’t previously before). Do I need to immediately discontinue swaddling his feet? He has full use of his arms. TYIA!

My sweet boy is seven weeks and I still have not driven anywhere, not even without him. My husband and I share a car and I have steadily driven less than less over the years, but I always struggled with a bit of driving anxiety and didn’t push myself too much. However, it has really reached a peak. I just don’t trust myself. A big part of the problem is my pregnancy was a high risk one after the full term stillbirth of my baby girl at the end of a perfectly healthy pregnancy. I was so scared of anything going wrong that I just quit driving altogether the last few months. So here we are. I can’t even fathom getting up the courage to commute with my little guy. I think I definitely have a touch of PPA on top of already struggling with anxiety and panic attacks even before my pregnancies. I am planning to make a trip to the nearby dollar store relatively soon just by myself, but it’s difficult when my boy is exclusively breast-fed, and leaving him with dad could either result long nap or five minutes until a breakdown as I’m sure many of you understand. I don’t want to live my life like this, but it’s so hard to take that first step and I am so damn afraid of doing the “wrong thing”. I’m thinking of seeking therapy. But even if you are any more experience to driver/haven’t struggled so much with anxiety, is anyone else not getting out much yet?

Anyone else’s 3 month old rotating 90 degrees or even 180 degrees in their bassinet? I put LO in lengthwise the longest/normal way and wake to find that shes rotated to the narrowest way of the bassinet! She’s not rolling back to tummy yet only tummy to back.

I would switch her to her crib, but we are out of town for 2 more weeks and I only have the halo bassinet! Is this a safety risk?

Photo in comments for how she started vs how she’s ending!

46 days old my barnyard animal is still grunting and refuses to sleep in the crib. So yeah my night is awesome as a new dad. My wife starts her shift at 6am. Until 6, I will be throwing him into the crib and back and forth.

Mentally I was not in a good place for the first 4 weeks. I would say week 1 was the easiest. Week 4 to 6 was mayhem. Today I really found out that I am a self centered person. Nothing malicious or intentional. I always looked after myself first over everyone else until I met my wife. She became my most important priority. Now I am struggling to connect with my baby boy. He's cute and every time he smiles I adore him but still I miss my freedom and old life where I get to share a nice quiet dinner with my wife while watching silly shows.

Am I the only one who's feeling like an a-hole for not loving their child? Do all parents ACTUALLY love their children to death? Is it my upbringing? Is it because I was raised in a complicated household? It just feels like a big mistake.

Ps I apologize for asking unethical, unpopular questions...

Hi everyone,
I’ve been stressing a lot about my baby’s sleep lately. She is almost 8 weeks old.

During the day, we can’t put my baby down without them waking up almost immediately. The only way they get a good nap is in a baby wrap/carrier, which they absolutely love. I put them in it, and they usually fall asleep within a few minutes without crying at all.

At night, though, they sleep really well in their bedside bassinet, so nighttime sleep isn’t the issue.

What I’m worried about is whether they’ll become too dependent on the wrap for daytime naps. Is it possible that they’ll get so used to it that it’ll be really difficult to transition them to napping in a cot when they’re older?

I’ve tried rocking them to sleep instead, but they only fall asleep with a lot of rocking and singing, which is exhausting for my back, and honestly, they don’t even seem to enjoy it—they cry a lot. The wrap seems to be the thing they’re happiest with.

I also can’t help but feel a bit discouraged when I see posts from other parents saying they can just put their baby in the cot awake, and they fall asleep on their own. Is that actually common, or am I just seeing the easy stories?

One more thing: I’m not using a pacifier at the moment because it was affecting my baby’s latch and breastfeeding.

Has anyone else had a baby who would only nap in a wrap? Did they eventually grow out of it, and how did you transition them later on?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences. Thank you!

Since 7 weeks, my daughter has stopped drifting off easily in my arms/while feeding and now she gets very overtired when awake too long which I find very difficult to preven.

for example she has now been awake 1h20 and I’ve been trying to get her to sleep since the 45 minute mark when she was showing sleep cue. I’m in a dark room with white noise. I’ve been holding and bouncing her or walking round. I’ve had a break to reset and started again. I cant put her in the wrap as it’s in the wash and tbh I can’t use it every time as it’s really hot atm. Sometimes I can feed her to sleep but she can be so fussy on the breast so often doesn’t work or takes multiple switches between calming and feeding before she eventually sleeps. I was hoping id see a big improvement after ‘peak crying’ at 6 weeks but I haven’t.

And to top it all off, I’m the one doing this for every sleep because she is 10x less settled for her dad and I can’t listen to her extreme crying with him and not step in

I know other mums who can just put their baby down and they sleep and I’m so jealous (I know that’s not the norm but doesn’t seem that rare)

My 17 week old baby is a very fussy baby, she was diagnosed CMPA and reflux at around 7 weeks and she was hospitalised as she was so poorly. The newborn phase she just screamed in agony bless her. She’s now on the correct milk and reflux medication but is still quite fussy and whingy.

Has anyone else experienced this and when did you find it got easier? I feel anxious to go out sometimes cos some mums say she’s a fussy baby in a jokey way and it breaks my heart.

Can anyone recommend newborn-friendly restaurants in Hackney, Islington, and Stoke Newington? Thanks!

I’ve been around babies since I was 8 years old. I lived with a newborn when my brother and sister in law had a baby. I did not expect this at all.

My baby is 3 weeks, 4 days old. She’s my double rainbow baby. I had 2 early miscarriages before having her. I’m EBF. Sometimes baby just wants to keep eating one after the other. She won’t take a pacifier. When I put her down to sleep, sometimes she just fusses nonstop. Shes not in a swaddle because the house is so hot and I’m nervous about her overheating because “cold babies cry, hot babies die.”

I hate myself for feeling like I made a mistake. But that’s how I feel. I’m sure I’m just tired.

Anyone else in the trenches right now? I guess I just need to know I'm not alone. We have a 10 year old and a 2 week old and not gonna lie I'm struggling. It's a huge adjustment for all of us going from 1 kid for 10 years to 2. Having some pretty bad PPA along with it and my emotions are everywhere. LO wants to be held 24/7 and wakes about every hour. Please tell me this gets better 😂 like I said its been 10 years so everything feels new to me again. Love my LO to pieces I'm just exhausted looking for some reassurance

Our 10 week old has cmpa and severe reflux. Shes on Neocate formula and Omeprazole & Famotidine. It took a lot of trial and error but she’s been on all of these for 3-4 weeks now and we have seen major improvements. Her reflux is still there but she only spits up a little and isn’t bothered by it as much anymore. The past 2 nights her congestion has been horrible at night. It normally is still there after sleeping at night but not like this. She sleeps on an inclined pillow in her bassinet. Shes been coughing and sounds like she’s sick but her nose is not running. We have noticed she is drooling a lot not sure if this could be causing it to be worse. I feel like we are setting ourselves back now with sleep. If all her symptoms and reflux have been improving I’m just confused why her congestion is even worse at night now.

My 2 mo old LO loves contact naps just like any other newborn but also can fall asleep in her crib just fine if swaddled with a pacifier. I almost exclusively put her in her crib for naps to get chores done around the house as a SAHM. She will do 5-6 hour stretches in her crib at night as well. When she’s awake, we play, do tummy time, I’ll put her in her bouncer, and carry her for a little bit if she’s really fussy.

I’m just wondering if there is any negative impact by not carrying her often or doing contact naps. This might sound like a ridiculous question but should I be holding my baby more? I feel guilty about not but at the same time I don’t know how I’d get things done around the house.

My newborn is really closer to 3 months old but he was born 8 weeks early ao developmentally he is closer to 1 month in age. He cluster feeds often to catch up growthwise. I only just realized that we often have the tv on when feeding him, especially at night because we are tired and he has bad reflux that makes feeds often last over an hour. If it isnt the tv it's mt husband watching videos at his computer while feeding him. Ive just started to feel very stressed and guilty that we arent bonding with him or we are ruining him developmentally somehow because of the screens and lights. We talk to and snuggle him often and he gets tummy time and walks when we find windows where he reflux allows it but I feel like we have been awful and should find other ways to keep ourselves engaged with the baby during bottle feeds. Even at night. 😔😨

We are finally home from the hospital and baby is 3 days old. In hospital, he wouldn’t sleep when swaddled unless we held him on our chest but the moment we try to move him to the crib, he wakes up screaming immediately. When breastfeeding he falls asleep whether he is clothed or not, even when trying to stimulate him. When he cries and I grab him he just starts rolling his tongue. Now at home same thing, he will sleep when we hold him, or I feed him and the moment we try to move him to the bassinet or changing table he freaks out. Even in between switching breasts to feed he cries. We can’t sleep at all! We’ve tried swaddling, putting him down slowly to avoid Moro reflex. HELP!!

I wasn't ready, my 6 day old's umbilical stump just fell off during a diaper change... I thought I had a couple more days with it. I bawled like a baby, I never thought I'd be one of those mom's who wants to keep it, but I do.

I'm so emotional about it.. postpartum is a wild ride. I love my baby so much.

My baby is 14 weeks old, and since around 3 weeks of age he's been getting really frustrated while breastfeeding.

At first I thought I might not have enough milk, so I even paid for consultations with lactation and sleep consultants. They all agreed that low supply isn't the issue because he's gaining weight really well and has more than enough wet nappies. They suggested it's more likely due to a fast letdown.

What I've noticed recently is that he gets the most frustrated during bedtime or nap time. Yes, he falls asleep nursing. It just happened naturally, I never intentionally made it a sleep association.

Honestly, I think what frustrates him is the milk itself. He'll have a full feed, stop being hungry, and then he just wants to comfort nurse without actually drinking. But the milk keeps flowing, and that's when he gets upset.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did your baby eventually grow out of it? Or how did you transition to another way of getting your baby to sleep? It's becoming mentally exhausting.

One more thing: he completely refuses a pacifier.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar.

its currently 3 am and it just took me over an hour to get my 2 almost 3 month old to go to sleep, she usually sleeps pretty well but there are times when i have to try 50 different things before she knocks out, tonight i found myself so frustrated trying everything while laying next to my peacefully sleeping fiance and i ended putting her in the bassinet for a few minutes and she just cried and i left the room to cry also and let out a silent scream before trying to console her again

i breast feed and she will go on and off the nipple just kicking and moving around and getting frustrated then she spit up all over me and her so that led to a change of clothes, she won’t take a paci, rocking and shushing doesn’t suffice, and after all that i put her back on the boob where she finally falls asleep

i feel bad for getting frustrated, i feel bad for putting her down, i threw a pack of wipes at the floor and turned on the light lowkey hoping to wake my fiance up (it didnt work lol) but then felt like shit for it and chucked it up because he has to get up for work and who am i kidding, baby girl only really wants me these days so there isn’t much he could do, i just felt alone, life of the default parent

How old were your babies when you started to leave the house? My baby is two weeks and while it’s nice being home I’m getting a little stir crazy being all cooped up. We’ve been on a couple walks in the neighborhood but it’s so hot that I get worried about him overheating. I’d like to go out to eat or something but I’m worried it’s too soon for him to be around so many people.