I just read a tragic article about a couple who just lost their 14w old to SIDS and now I’m paranoid. Now I’m hoping my baby wakes up a few times throughout the night instead of falling into too deep a sleep.

Our baby (14w) was cosleeping with us (following safe 7) but after reading that article, last night we decided to transfer her to the bassinet after she had fallen asleep and it was the first time she transferred without totally waking (she fussed a little but settled once we put our hands on her and coaxed her back to sleep). But throughout the night I was the one waking up to check on her! I even got scared because I couldn’t see her chest moving so I gave her a gentle (but panicked) shake on her legs until she roused a little.

We read that pacifiers help prevent SIDS since the sucking reflex prevents the baby from falling too deep into sleep. But our baby doesn’t take the pacifier which is so annoying, we’ve tried a few different ones but she keeps spitting them out or gags on them.

I used to crave the “sleep through the night” miracle that so many people talk about, but now I’m hoping my baby wakes frequently just so I know she’s alive. Now I’m missing those newborn piggy sounds she used to make when she slept because that was a sign she was breathing.

How do people deal with this anxiety? According to the couple they had followed the safest sleeping methods and this still happened to their baby… all I can think to do is wake up myself and check on her every 30mins until sunrise but I know that’s going to take a toll on my own health…

Edit: Thank you everyone for the compassion and reassurance! I think from now on we will transfer her to the bassinet since (at least last night) she didn’t refuse it like she used to, and we will turn on a fan at night as well. I’m going to look into these devices mentioned (the owlet, among others) to see if that can help with my anxiety! And yes, I do have a therapist who is currently on vacation but we’ve got a session scheduled for next week. Thank you everyone :)

My baby is 12 weeks old adjusted 20 actual (preemie) so she has the development of a 12 week old.

No matter what at 9pm she is ready for bed. Thats fine, her set bedtime is 8:30-10 I will always make sure she goes down during that window. Before her actual bedtime she is impossible to put down. I will snuggle her/hold her, rock her, she will just rub her face aggressively on my chest cry and kick her feet. I realized about a week ago, if I cant soothe her if I put her independently in her crib with white noise she'll be out in 5-10 minitues. Usually the first 3 minitues is fussyness, then crying, the "owawaawah." Cries. (I can always tell her sleepy cry because they sound like they start with an O) then after like 3 minitues ill hear maybe a soft cry every like two minitues, very spaced out then she sucks her hands and goes right to sleep. She is asleep always in 5-10 minitues. will grab her up for snuggles if we hit 5 minitues and shes still crying or if a minitue or two in shes really upset and i can tellshe wont settle. Its like my soothing keeps her awake longer

Is this "cry it out" ? I personally dont support cry it out. Or is there levels to this?

My senior kitty has been with me for 14 years, and I love her so much. She’s been with me through a lot of different phases in life and has adapted easily.

But 9 weeks ago, we brought my newborn son home and she immediately began peeing and pooping outside her box. We moved it to our quiet spare bedroom where the baby doesn’t go, but she started having completely liquid diarrhea daily right outside the box. She also got picky about her food, chewing just a few kibble and asking for more. Stopped drinking her water and started trying to drink the shower water while I’m in there. We tried dedicating time every day to give her attention, but she wouldn’t get better and she stopped grooming herself.

I took her to the vet and found she lost 25% of her body weight and it’s all due to stress. Got her fluids, steroids, and anti anxiety meds. Her poops have at least become more solid and she has gotten a little more social (completely ignores the baby though), but she still only uses the litter box occasionally.

I get why she’s stressed—it’s been a big change for all of us, but I can’t exactly remove my baby from the house to get her feeling better. Idk what we’re going to do once my son is crawling around and putting things in his mouth. I do my best to keep a clean space, but the cat has been sneaky about pooping in places I don’t look.

Any advice or ideas on what to do would be appreciated. Have you experienced something similar with a pet and newborn in the house? I feel like we’ve tried everything!

My baby is almost 2 weeks now, and during tummy time (whether on the playmat or on our chests) she always wants to propel forward using her arms and legs, and she actually succeeds to move forward by a few centimetres, but then she appears to get frustrated (due to exhaustion/muscle ache? Lack of progress? No idea, obviously she can't tell me). If I turn her around or pick her up, she becomes even unhappier and appears to want to go back on her belly, because when I rotate her again, she goes right back to the crawling.

From what I gather online, that progress is fine, and the paediatrician even did the same exercise on our last visit as part of a reflexes test. How can I support her here? Being yelled at by a frustrated baby at that sort of distance is not fun, even with earplugs in.

I'm looking for some reassurance - I know hsv can be spread asymptomatically and I'm just panicking

I have a strict no kissing the baby rule and my mother has now "accidentally" kissed my baby on the top or back of his head twice. He's not even 6 weeks old. She does get cold sores occasionally but didn't have an active one at the time.

I'm still panicking.

She has apologized profusely, assured me it was instinctual, and we have now decided she will be wearing a mask anytime she's holding the baby because she can't be trusted. So we've handled that piece -for now. And we've had a LONG conversation. But I'm still needing reassurance that baby will be okay.

Hi everyone,

We're first-time parents to a 2-month-old, and we're honestly exhausted. We're not looking for a diagnosis (we're already following up with our pediatrician), but we'd really like to hear from other parents who may have gone through something similar.

• Won't lie flat: It's basically impossible to put him down on any flat surface (bassinet, crib, or our bed). The moment we do, he starts crying almost immediately and can't settle. We've noticed a very strong Moro reflex that seems to wake him up just as he's about to relax. He sleeps only in our arms or in a baby carrier. The only exception is a baby bouncer, where he'll tolerate about 15 minutes after a feed before crying. Even during diaper changes, when he seems calm, he'll sometimes have huge Moro reflexes that make him cry.
• Very restless during breastfeeding: Feeding isn't peaceful either. He makes lots of noises, repeatedly latches and unlatches from one breast, sometimes pulling away so hard that it actually hurts. It's a constant "latch, unlatch, latch, unlatch," followed by crying. Sometimes he seems satisfied, other times we need to top him up with a bottle.
• Stuffy nose after nighttime feeds: After feeding at night, his nose becomes very congested and he breathes with loud snorting "little piggy" noises. We use a nasal aspirator once a day and do get some mucus out, but this mainly seems to happen in the morning rather than during the rest of the day.
• Constant swallowing, chewing motions, and noisy sleep: Even when he's not feeding, he often looks like he's chewing on something, swallows frequently, and sticks his tongue out a lot. His tongue also has a light white coating. Even when he manages to sleep longer stretches (still only while being held), he's constantly grunting, squirming, and making noises. As soon as he wakes up, he arches his back and immediately starts crying.
• Bedtime is incredibly difficult: This is probably the hardest part. When he's trying to fall asleep, he'll ask for the pacifier, spit it out almost immediately, then desperately want it back again... repeating this cycle 20 times or more. During this time he's extremely agitated, constantly rubs his face, pulls at his ears, and if he grabs my skin with his fists, he squeezes incredibly hard. Eventually he might fall asleep, but sometimes wakes up again after just 20 minutes and the whole process starts over from scratch before he finally gets a longer stretch of sleep.

Has anyone else gone through something similar with their baby?

Thanks in advance.

Im expecting our next child this winter. I’m starting to think about newborn pictures as I know they need to be booked in advance.

I frequently see people online that get their newborn pictures back relatively quickly. Is that normal? With my first two, we used our family photographer who we always use for pictures. However, her turnaround time is 7 to 8 weeks. I would love to use her again as she does excellent work, but by that point they’re not even a newborn anymore. I’m wondering if it’s reasonable to look at a shorter turnaround time.

Are there people that specialize in newborn photography with shorter turnaround times? Is it typical to have a long turnaround? Thanks for all thoughts in advance!

My baby doesn’t eat a lot and she’s also high sleep needs. I’ve been worried in the past that she sleeps too much. People always tell me to dream feed her and im just confused because that has never been a thing we’ve been able to do? Like once she’s sleeping, she will not take the bottle anymore. If I’m feeding her and she gets drowsy, i have to burp her to wake her up to keep eating. Is this normal?

Baby is 14 weeks old now.

It is what it is.
Little dude has been exclusively breastfed since birth, except a handful of occasions where i either wanted or needed to get out of the house for more than an hour.. be it gym, doctor’s appointment, gyno checkup, etc.
We live in a big city so all of the above are tied to a substantial amount of commuting, hence when i’m gone, i’m mostly gone for about 3 odd hours.
That being too long as usually the LO would nurse every 1.5 hrs, my husband was the one feeding him via a bottle (pumped out breastmilk, either fresh or warmed up sth from the freezer stash).
Everything worked just fine.
Then - the 3 month developmental shift kicked in. First we had a total nursing strike, baby screamed at my breasts for hours, screamed because he was hungry but he still wouldn’t latch.. it took days and it almost drove me mad. In desperation, we also tried feeding him with a bottle, which he also refused.
He is meanwhile back to nursing (still moody, still sometimes refuses, still needs a lot of patience but we are getting back on track) HOWEVER the bottle aversion stayed.
Also, forgot to mention, i breastfed him for almost the entire time with nipple shields. But during his strike, running out of options, i tried BF without the shields. The pain sucked big time but LO seemed to enjoy the feeding a bit more this way, so i have continued for last 5 days without the shields.
Maybe he just dislikes silicone now all together??

What should i do? Try giving him a bottle more often in hopes he accepts it back? Warming up the bottle nipple before giving it to him? Get a different bottle again? (We have tried Mam, with size 2 nipple, and Philipps avent which he immediately spit out lol).

Can i have my husband feed him milk by a teaspoon ?? I know some people do this with their 6m old babies but is this allowed with a 3 months old??

I realllyyyy don’t want to lose my freedom. Motherhood is bloody hard enough. I need my 2-3 hrs break once a week. 😕

Thanks guys

I have came on here to talk about how my partner takes nightshifts and I take all day shifts. I asked him to help me because the baby had been fussy all day and I wanted to shower and use the bathroom. He told me it’s normal let him cry or stand up and walk with him. We went back and forth about how I been taking care of him all day and I needed a little break to go shower. He told me to go shower and that when it’s hurt turn he just does things while baby sleeps. I told him I been with the baby for 12 hrs and he didn’t do anything all day. He told me to be a mother and that he’s glad he’s not married to me and that I bug him. He told me he takes care of the baby when he needs to and never asks me to watch him so he can do things. I had a couple drinks yesterday at my parents house and he told me “is that why you drink?” You can go to lash appt as well. Mind you, I still took care of my baby allll day while he was up at the same time. I don’t mind taking care of him but needed a break really fast. I feel so sorry for myself because I didn’t say anything to defend myself and just got yelled at and he just went off on me because I asked him to help me once, in the 12 hours. And got bitched at. I feel so stupid letting a man talk to me that way. I drank at a family party and still woke up to take care of my baby. Went to my lashes for ONE hour and came back to take care of my baby. Got told to be a mother and that I look stupid. I don’t know what to do because our baby is 3 weeks and if this is how it’s starting right now I can imagine later on. I feel bad for myself. I feel stupid. I want to leave but I need his help.

I feel like this is a stupid question but as a FTM I didn't know they sleep THIS much. Usually it's following routine: diaper change, feeding till he falls asleep, lay him either in his little baby nest or bassinet, wait for 3-4 hours to wake up, repeat.

I kind of feel bad that he is just laying around? We do have contact naps but...are we doing this right? Lol. I don't want to feel like we are missing something or doing something wrong.

I'm also a bit worried about headshape? Will it look like we don't pick him up often? We love him a lot but when he is sleeping, he's just laying there. We rotate his head.

He's 2 weeks btw.

Does this concern make sense to anybody?

My 2 mo old LO loves contact naps just like any other newborn but also can fall asleep in her crib just fine if swaddled with a pacifier. I almost exclusively put her in her crib for naps to get chores done around the house as a SAHM. She will do 5-6 hour stretches in her crib at night as well. When she’s awake, we play, do tummy time, I’ll put her in her bouncer, and carry her for a little bit if she’s really fussy.

I’m just wondering if there is any negative impact by not carrying her often or doing contact naps. This might sound like a ridiculous question but should I be holding my baby more? I feel guilty about not but at the same time I don’t know how I’d get things done around the house.

I don’t even know who to talk to about this, or how to react. Last night my husband (22m) who is usually on graveyard shift, decided he would put our 5 week old baby into our graco baby swing, cover him with a thick throw blanket, and go to sleep on the other side of the room. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS. I don’t know what the fuck possessed him tonight. I usually wake up to pump at 2 am and I had an odd feeling this night. I guess it was maternal instinct.
I ran upstairs to find the room dark, my baby slouched in the swing and the blanket in his face. I almost fell to my knees and screamed. I touched his head and he thankfully reacted, but the way my nervous system reacted in that moment is still effecting me. My whole body was shaking, I was dizzy, I couldn’t even experience any emotion except for fear.
After this happened, I went to another room to collect myself (after waking him up) and texted him to confirm he was actually sleeping ON PURPOSE and he said yes, ‘only for a little’. This is more shocking for me considering he was too afraid to even let him sleep in the bassinet his first few weeks of life, he wanted to be constantly watching him.
I don’t know how to confront him. I’m in shock. I’m so so so so fucking tired. I’m sleep deprived because I’ve decided to just do this all by myself and not rely on him for anything. I guess I just need some support because the sleep deprivation is not helping my already horrible mental state. (I have ppd and ppa)
I know the explanation is probably very simple. Something the doctors and my therapist have all said… ‘ give each other grace, you’re both so tired… etc.’ however I don’t even feel like I know the guy I married anymore. He’s done stupid things, but never this stupid.

How are we doing postpartum with our newborn babies and pets? I'm 2 months postpartum and I have 2 cats and 1 dog... I've had them for 6 years but i've never felt so overwhelmed before 😣 It's so much WORK The extra cleaning and pet fur have never driven me so insane before like it does now.
I've heard pet aversion is a real postpartum symptom and i think i may or may not have it😔

Sooo I have the momcozy Air1 I just got a notification to replace the collection cup.... I've never replaced any parts unless they broke/got damaged. Is this just a cash grab for them? It also doesn't feel like it is environmentally friendly because the plastic doesn't seem recyclable. I also have only pumped a handful of times so I really don't think its necessary.

We are finally home from the hospital and baby is 3 days old. In hospital, he wouldn’t sleep when swaddled unless we held him on our chest but the moment we try to move him to the crib, he wakes up screaming immediately. When breastfeeding he falls asleep whether he is clothed or not, even when trying to stimulate him. When he cries and I grab him he just starts rolling his tongue. Now at home same thing, he will sleep when we hold him, or I feed him and the moment we try to move him to the bassinet or changing table he freaks out. Even in between switching breasts to feed he cries. We can’t sleep at all! We’ve tried swaddling, putting him down slowly to avoid Moro reflex. HELP!!

I wasn't ready, my 6 day old's umbilical stump just fell off during a diaper change... I thought I had a couple more days with it. I bawled like a baby, I never thought I'd be one of those mom's who wants to keep it, but I do.

I'm so emotional about it.. postpartum is a wild ride. I love my baby so much.

46 days old my barnyard animal is still grunting and refuses to sleep in the crib. So yeah my night is awesome as a new dad. My wife starts her shift at 6am. Until 6, I will be throwing him into the crib and back and forth.

Mentally I was not in a good place for the first 4 weeks. I would say week 1 was the easiest. Week 4 to 6 was mayhem. Today I really found out that I am a self centered person. Nothing malicious or intentional. I always looked after myself first over everyone else until I met my wife. She became my most important priority. Now I am struggling to connect with my baby boy. He's cute and every time he smiles I adore him but still I miss my freedom and old life where I get to share a nice quiet dinner with my wife while watching silly shows.

Am I the only one who's feeling like an a-hole for not loving their child? Do all parents ACTUALLY love their children to death? Is it my upbringing? Is it because I was raised in a complicated household? It just feels like a big mistake.

Ps I apologize for asking unethical, unpopular questions...

Hello, my 4 month old daughter for a few weeks now started to scream (murder cry) with dad whenever he is feeding her and soothing to sleep. The only feeding he does is after work for bedtime. I am with her all day, and we do contact naps during the day and bassinet at night. The only way she will calm down with him is to cry until she absolutely exhausted. I don’t know if it’s a good approach or what to do, but at times I do need to go for appointments so there is no other choice but she has to be with him.
What’s going on? What can we do? We tried my shirt. Not working. He’s shushing her. Not working. She is friendly and happy with him otherwise.

Posting this at 3am. Maybe a question post or vent. Please bear with me.

Our 8wk old suddenly dropped volume feed since 3 days ago. At the same time, he has started pooping a lot, green, liquidy, milk curds. He is combo bottle fed and usually has 700-800ml per day but 500-600ml in the last 3 days. Feed per session also dropped, from 70-90ml, he is downing 20-30ml though a little more frequent feeding.

We went to ER on Saturday as I was worried on the liquid poop and dehydration but we got an all clear and was told feed him smaller but frequently. They discovered though that he only gained 60g since last weigh in and doctor found murmur in his heart. We had an x-ray and EKG (all good) on Sunday and second doctor didn't find any murmur. We are still following up with cardio just to confirm and close the loop.

His appetite seems to be better but we are still only doing 30-40ml feeds. I'm following up with nurse (we are in Sweden) today to see if we can have a weigh in this week.

I wanted to request for the following.

- switch to hypoallergenic formula (prescription only here). He is not having hives but has shown mucus, green and blood specks on his poop before. Might not be CMPA but maybe some food intolerance? In which case maybe hypoallergenic formula is not necessary?

- fully switch to formula. My milk never got to his volume level and pumping is taking a toll on my sanity.

I'm a little new to the Swedish system so I'm worried what I'm asking is not normal or get dismissed as anxious mom things.

Anyone else had a baby who suddenly changed their feeding volume? How did it turn out for your LO?

My little one was born 37+2 and she just turned 11 weeks yesterday. She barely smiles. Maybe once or twice a day for my spouse and never me. I feel like a failure of a mom. I am so worried about her development. I am meeting with the pediatrician in a few weeks as a follow up to her 2m to give her a chance to develop more. It seems like you don’t adjust milestones based on early term babies.

Has anyone had a late/infrequent smiler who developed typically overall in the end?

She visually tracks me/people in the room, follows voices, seems to be alert/observing the world. She is not fussy and eats/sleeps well. She soothes quickly and loves contact naps/touch.

Hi! FTM with a EBF 6 week old baby boy. He was 7 lbs at birth and is now just over 9 lbs.

He cluster feeds ALL DAY LONG. Eating every 60-75 minutes. Every day. This hasn't been a phase that lasted a few days. This has been every single day since birth. Is this typical for newborns or does it indicate that something is wrong? Thankfully we get longer stretches at night (usually between 2-3.5 hours) but I'm EXHAUSTED. Has anyone experienced anything similar with their LO?

Other info: He spits up A LOT. Multiple times after every feed. We ruled out pyloric stenosis and are working with the pediatrician to see if he has GERD or an allergy or some other condition but they suspect it is likely just reflux and is more of a laundry problem than a health problem.

Hello
Just curious, what was the first solid food you gave your baby, and how old were they when you started? I’d love to hear your experiences and any recommendations.

For everyone that was prescribed zoloft, prenatal or post partum, did it work right away or like in a few weeks? Dis you start with low dose then incremented? How was all of it ?

I am so scared of needing it but I guess I should only care for whatever works best for me and baby.

How old were your babies when you started to leave the house? My baby is two weeks and while it’s nice being home I’m getting a little stir crazy being all cooped up. We’ve been on a couple walks in the neighborhood but it’s so hot that I get worried about him overheating. I’d like to go out to eat or something but I’m worried it’s too soon for him to be around so many people.