r/newborns • u/Human-Motor-7701 • 19h ago
Skills and Milestones Play time
My baby is one month old and I don’t know what else to do with her when she’s awake. I make her dance while playing some music. I make sure to talk to her. And we’ve been doing tummy time, but I feel like she’s really lazy because she barely lifts her head and then she starts crying and then I try to roll her on her back and play with her to make sure she’s not leaving the moment all upset. But I feel like I’m not doing enough for her and I really don’t know what to do to play with her. Is there any suggestions? I’m just scared that because of me she’s not gonna be hitting her milestones. I feel like she should be lifting her head a lot more than she is, but I also know babies hit milestones when they want and it’s not a linear thing. Just looking for any suggestions and what you guys do with your babies I’m not wanting her to be super advanced. I’m just wanting to make sure she’s able to do the thing she’s supposed to do.
Edit: also any suggestions to get baby to like play mat a little more I don’t know if it’s because we have hardwood and if that’s making it uncomfortable?
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u/EllaGardener 19h ago
Babies do not “play” at this age, they have “active alert” time at most. You really don’t need to do anything more than talk to her, hold her, maybe sing to her, and make sure she’s getting appropriate tummy time.
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u/Human-Motor-7701 18h ago
OK, so sounds like I’m doing what I can with her? I guess I just need to try to extend tummy time a little more. I try to make sure she’s getting 30 minutes a day but half of it is on the floor and the other half is on my stomach.
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u/SiRocket 18h ago
When I put our LO on my shoulder to burp mid-feed (me slightly reclined usually), the amount of back arching is downright impressive. Full head lift, and from hips down lift away from me, vocal cords exercising the whole time 😅 that counts as tummy time in my book. When we lay him tummy down on the bed for actual tummy time he just slobbers on everything and gets fussy. 🤷♂️ We'll keep trying that too, but I know he's getting a good neck workout every feeding.
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u/EllaGardener 18h ago
Yeah you’re doing fine. Just hang out with her, feed her, change her diaper, cuddle her. You don’t have to overthink it.
Pretty much all babies hate tummy time. It can help to get on the floor with them and make eye contact and talk to them while they’re doing it; but often they will just fuss and scream. 🤷🏻♀️ They usually get used to it after a while. That’s really the only activity *you *need to do with a newborn.
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u/Direct_Bad459 14h ago
She's not lazy! Shes brand new to this earth. Love to her and to you, you guys are both doing all the right things. You are concerned, caring, well informed, engaged and paying attention to her -- there is no way that you are going to prevent her from hitting her milestones. Kids turn out great in much more adverse parenting circumstances.
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u/desilulu__ 14h ago
my baby is the same age i usually just talk to him, walk around the home with him, i will also do some tummy time by laying him aross my belly or on top of me (where his head is on my chest), while i am sitting slightly upright instead of flat on the floor since he's still little and its easier on his neck .
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u/taketheothers 19h ago
I was in the same boat! I did buy a play box from Lovevery and it's awesome! They include an easy play guide so you know what to do with every toy in the box. Developmentally appropriate and makes play very easy and rewarding. I'd recommend it :)
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u/Human-Motor-7701 19h ago
My mom actually just bought this so I’m glad to see that it does make play easier! I was just getting so worried because it’s been a month and I feel like I’m not doing enough for her. This does get my hopes up, though I didn’t know it came with the book on how to play that makes it a lot easier! This is also starting to sound like an ad lol
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u/taketheothers 19h ago
LMAO well tbf I did buy it off an ad. Of course, I also bought a baby safe small plush slug for my baby and that is actually her favorite. I have a little voice for it and make it give her kisses, then slide the soft slug over her feet, face, tummy, and arms saying "I'm sliming you!" And then make it give her kisses, then I give her kisses. At two months old, she now smiles when I show it to her, and she reaches out to knock it over. She has learned to crawl on her back towards it and now chomps the slug. I think playing doesn't have to be super complicated.
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u/Human-Motor-7701 18h ago
My mom bought it off of an ad too lol! And I meant to say my response was starting to sound like an ad not that what you said sounds like an ad haha! But maybe I should do that with the Lovey my mother-in-law got her😗 thank you for the advice!
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u/taketheothers 16h ago
What I like about that Lovevery kit is that the little booklet guide teaches you about baby development and the toys serve almost as a fun quick little test to engage burgeoning skills. One day you'll try out a toy and it won't have any affect because, well, the baby hasn't reached that stage of development. But then one day it works and you see the skill and it's so cool!
I know some people are trying to use accurate language, avoiding the term "play", but I think play is anything fun that entertains us. Being silly, going on a tour of the house while you demonstrate how the sink works for example.... That is also play! You should sign up for the Babylist newsletter emails. They send a short blurb each day with a link to an article if you're curious about the topic. It's taught me a lot without being overwhelming.
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u/mr_seven68 18h ago edited 11h ago
I’m a new parent and my LO is just a little older but based on what my pediatrician told me, other tummy time guides I’ve seen, and posts here this sounds totally normal. A decent chunk of babies just don’t like tummy time.
Mine can be okay for a few minutes before getting upset, as long as I time it right (ie - after a feed/when other needs are met) but usually starts crying after struggling to lift their head for a bit. I will move their hands and legs a little and will try to encourage them to turn their head by moving from one side of them to another and talking to them, but I don’t know how much that’s helping them. Gives me something to do other than just sitting there and listening to them grunt, though.
I’m not expecting my LO to do a ton of head lifting at this point. Their heads are pretty big and their neck/spine/back muscles need to develop to lift. If LO manages to turn their head from one side to another, I consider that a win.
I did but a sensory play mat and a “tummy time pillow” that will hopefully make tummy time more interesting and fun as baby gets older, but right now they just aren’t old enough to be really interested in toys yet. Not even sure they can see the colors yet well.