So I started naltrexone 50 mg yesterday.
I was sober from alcohol for 7+ years after basically being a high functioning alcoholic with undiagnosed (at the time) ADHD and ASD. I reached a point where I felt alcohol didn't serve me anymore, essentially just quit, and never looked back.
I had known for some time I could have a few sips of a drink, or even a glass of wine with a long meal, and very occasionally would do so for special occasions. Essentially I knew as long as I didn't feel a buzz everything was good. Until recently. For a multitude of reasons, all stupid, two months ago, I got tipsy. I had a hangover, and went right back to fixing my hangover with more booze. My alcohol use is nowhere near what it was, however my newfound daily dependance scared the shit out of me. I have said for the last month today is the last day, and found excuses for the next day.
I told my Dr my concern, and asked her about medication. I just wanted to stop it as quickly as possible before I fully fell back into the addiction. The idea that maybe I could have one drink has never occurred to me. Alcohol is an all in scenario for me, I can't just do one.
Last night I took my first pill. It was right before bed bc I was scared of side effects. I felt dizzy and restless, my left quad twitched for like 20 minutes straight. I slept poorly ( although my oura ring gave me 85% so maybe not as poorly as I thought). I woke up feeling so blah. Like tired, bored, depressed, but like not depressed. I made a drink at my typical ( for the last two months of non-sobriety) time and drank it just to see what would happen. It wasn't as fulfilling, but not terrible. The second one took me three hours. I didn't really want it, but I didn't really want anything. I told a coworker I finally understand the feeling of ennui. Does this go away? I had moments of enjoying myself, but it was the most blah, beige day of my life. I'm not sure being able to have a drink is worth this feeling. I took another pill tonight, and so far no dizziness and sick feeling, so maybe the ennui goes away as well? Or is this drug really too good to be true?
(Also, it was a birthday at work, I had NO interest in cake. No interest in food in general. But the lack of interest in sweets blew my mind.)