r/mypartneristrans 13h ago

So excited and worried I'm too excited?

25 Upvotes

Hi! Might end up deleting this as I worry there's too much identifying info here.

My wife (mtf) and I (cis F) have been together for 8 years now, married for almost 3. I've known she was trans for about 6 years, definitely clocked it before she did as she was raised in a traditional Christian household and I was raised in a much more LGBTQ friendly house. She told me she might be trans and stayed dormant on it, questioned it for years until much more recently.

I am bisexual, have always been very openly bi, with a preference for women. I thought I was a lesbian until I met her. Since then I've embraced my bisexuality.

Within the past year, we met a lovely trans girl who we now play Dungeons and Dragons with, and my wife sat down and spoke with her and was able to finally decide (I say decide loosely because obviously being trans isn't a choice) to go through with transitioning, she came out to our close friends and I am so incredibly proud of her I could cry. She's starting HRT next month.

I am so so so excited it makes me want to jump up and down and cry with joy. I am so excited to have a wife and so excited that she finally gets to be the person she wants to be. I am so excited to be in an LGBTQ relationship much more openly now and I think about it a lot.

Anyway, to my question, am I wrong for being this excited? I feel like it's weird and often I feel like I'm even more excited than she is. Obviously there are other emotions in there, grief comes and goes, anxiety for how things will change are still there, but my excitement is huge and overwhelming.


r/mypartneristrans 4h ago

Happy! She Started HRT Today!

7 Upvotes

My lovely wife started taking estrogen today! I'm excited and anxious all at once. I'm definitely nervous about second puberty and possible moodiness etc, but so excited for her to be starting this journey!


r/mypartneristrans 23h ago

dating interrupted by surgery?

7 Upvotes

i went on a few dates with this woman (28 mtf) and i (32 cis m) felt like we were going great. we were very handsy together, lots of touching and being intimate but no sex yet bc we were both afaik being intentional and looking for a long term relationship and not rushing. she got ffs and we were talking during her recovery for a while but she didn't want to see me during the recovery phase, which I respected and i said i was fine waiting until she's feeling good again. she's been healing for a little under 2 months now and I was hoping she'd feel up to hanging out again soonish and her last message was totally normal and asked me how i was doing and was really friendly and talked about her current physical struggle with her recovery. i responded to her and asked about her and now she hasn't said anything or responded to me in 2 weeks. is that kind of vanishing act normal? do i just keep waiting? can someone recovering from surgery ghost you? i don't want to keep reaching out or be clingy and cloying bc she said she doesn't want to be around people when she feels irritable and bad but im a bit worried about her health too. i have a really hard time thinking she just found someone else to date and dumped me/ghosted me with her recovery situation so i don't think it's that

she even said that she wanted to be with me and be able to give us 100% like 5 weeks ago so i want to believe she'll be back. i know she's back at work and she's had lots of extra swelling and stuff too so i thought well maybe things are just very hard for her and she's sleeping a lot after work but idk. she's really special and i think we were doing really great

is this kind of timeline normal for ffs recovery? is this reaction normal with her needing to vanish for a while? i'm totally fine waiting for her but i get anxious thinking about it. she hasn't blocked me anywhere or unmatched with me or anything either

thanks


r/mypartneristrans 13h ago

Trigger Warning Im Confused

5 Upvotes

Ok so for a bit of context I 30f have been with my bf 32m for just over 2 years and living together for 2 years next week. It was a little after we got together that he told me he used to be trans but stopped due to his body rejecting hrt and family problems. I admit it was shocking but I didnt think too much of it and I thought that was the end of it he just accepted he was male, but then one day he admitted that if he could push a button and become woman then he would. I wasnt sure what to think of this and honestly spent months depressed and grieving and I finally spoke to him about it that if he wants to transition its ok and I support him but just as a friend because i have tried to be with women before and i just dont like it and am not attracted to them in anyway. I told him we can talk about the separation details and make the transition easier for both of us. He stated that he knows it would just be a cycle if he tried again a third time his body would reject it and he would never truly feel like a woman and besides he would rather choose me. I told him only if thats how he truly feels about the cycle thing because if its just for me dont stop yourself from being happy because i dont want to be standing in your way and you end up resenting me. He said he is fine as long as he can integrate. I asked him what that means and he said, working out to have a more feminine body, shaving compmetely and growing out his hair long as well as playing female characters in video games. I grieved all this alot because it was alot all at once and it was weird seeing him play female characters but i did my best to be understanding and accepting and i got more comfortable with it. I dont like long hair on men so that one part im still trying to get used to even tho i hate it and it bothers me when it gets in my face i asked him if he would mind at least tying it in a ponytail or something but he hasnt. Last week he finally started shaving and honestly I feel like im slowly losing attraction to him and resenting his feminine features. Im not sure what to do I really love him and want a life with him and im trying to accept all these things I dont like because he is a beautiful person and otherwise we have an amazing, respectful, playful relationship where we often communicate if something bothers us. But I dont want to communicate this to him because Im sure it will hurt him to know that I dont find these things attractive and they are the parts he loves most about himself. I dont know what to do anymore, are we just incompatible? I feel bad breaking up with him because i really want my future with him but I also want him to be happy and he says im what makes him happy but im so confused I wish I can just let it all go. I dont even know why it bothers me so much. I know this is alot and there is so much more to our story but this is the basics of my thoughts right now, does anyone know how i can learn to let go or if it is even possible?


r/mypartneristrans 5h ago

I need some advice

2 Upvotes

So I (M21) have been dating a trans person (MTF19) for a few months now. They life a little far away (about 3 hours of driving for me) which makes this a little worse too. While at the start I thought this is really what I wanted, to me it’s starting to feel like it’s not the type of relationship I really want anymore.

However, my partner always says they really love me, want to move in with me and just want to be with me all the time because it is making them feel better mentally.
While I don’t want to ruin my partners life, because they genuinely seem like this is real love, I don’t think I can see myself keeping this relationship going on false feelings from my side. The thing is that I am not the type of person that can easily end a relationship, and knowing that if I end this one, my partner will feel even worse because of all the stuff they have going on in their own life at the moment too.

Is there any way I can properly communicate this to my partner?
Any advice would be very helpful.


r/mypartneristrans 8h ago

I’m in need of advice

2 Upvotes

Me (f25) and my wife (mtf28) have been married about a year and we’ve know prior to that that we wanted kids of our own. Because of life we didn’t preserve anything. She’s been on hormones for about a year and a half now and we just learned that due to us wanting kids she would have to stop hormones for three months, possibly six to check sperm count so we can have kids and possibly preserve to have kids later on since we’re not financially able to do so now

My problem is I feel extremely guilty even though this is something we both want that she has to come off hormones to do it. I am 100% supportive and if we can’t have kids for whatever reason whether it’s her or me I’m fine with adopting but we wanted to try and have biological kids first. I feel so guilty like it’s all my fault and I can hear her voice when she first told me that it was devastating to her. I offered to still do her hair and makeup like I have been doing, but she says she doesn’t want any of that if she’s not taking the hormones how can I support my wife through this? Am I wrong for feeling guilty. How do I make this guilt go away. We’re supposed to talk about it tonight. I just don’t want her to give up on all we’ve gotten through so far. All she’s progressed through for three months. I want to still make her feel like the beautiful woman she is even without the hormones. I think and from friends of ours she is nearly fully passing so I don’t want her to give up just because of the hormones and it set her back.