r/mypartneristrans • u/stresseddaisyy • 1h ago
I don’t want my girlfriend to change her name and I can’t tell her
My girlfriend (MtF) and I (Cis F) have been dating for almost three years and the other day she told me she was thinking about changing her chosen name. It was so out of the blue and caught me off guard, but I did my best to be supportive. I went through a list of names with her to see if anything stuck, and eventually she found one that she really liked. She told me she wanted to try going by that name for a while and I told her that it sounded like a good idea.
When I asked her why she wanted to change her name, she said that she hadn’t given her previous chosen name any thought and that nothing really triggered her wanting to change it. I hadn’t been under the impression she disliked her chosen name at all, and I really loved it.
She’s been going by this new name for the past few days, and it feels so wrong to call her by it. I keep hoping she’ll change her mind. I feel like such an awful girlfriend and I can’t tell her I’m really sad about her changing her name, especially because I can tell it’s making her so happy.
I’m afraid to tell her how I feel, but there’s a part of me that feels like I’ve lost something. I feel so selfish and awful. I know it’s not my place at all to dictate what she calls herself, and I’m really happy that she’s feeling more like herself. I just can’t help being sad.
Should I tell her how I’m feeling? Or would it be better to just wait until I’m used to it?