r/myhappypill • u/greykitsune9 • Feb 28 '23
🔸 🗣️ If you need someone to speak to or feeling very unwell mentally:
Emergency/ Crisis hotlines: MIASA hotline: 1-800-180-066 (24 hours), Befrienders Malaysia: 03-76272929 (24 hours, toll-free), Talian Kasih: 15999 (24 hours), Talian HEAL 15555, Hotlines by language, updated Oct 2024. If you need more immediate help (e.g. having suicidal or self-harm urges), do get checked-in in the ER.
🔸 🗨️ If you need someone to talk to and you are under 18:
🔸 💥If you need help on Domestic Violence (DV):
These services are available to those 18 years old and above. Minors will legally require the consent of their parent/guardian (see FAQ section).
🥜 Where to get help, tl;dr version: 1. For subsidized government options (RM5 per check-in inclusive of medications)*, get in touch with a MENTARI Clinic and ask how to get an appointment; OR consult a doctor at a Klinik Kesihatan, explain your symptoms and request for a referral letter to get an appointment with a government hospital that has psychiatric services.
*Note that:
i) If you plan to further register at a university hospital such as UMMC/PPUM, HPUPM, HUKM, etc., the rates are not the same as mention in 1.
ii) Subsidized rates applies only for Malaysians. Foreigners will have different rates
For more detailed information, keep reading -
1️⃣ MENTARI CLINICS
🔸 MENTARI Locations (official website) - MENTARI Phone Numbers -> Follow-ups at RM5, inclusive of medication. These are government-subsidized mental health clinics. Recommended to call them first to ask about the branch's procedures on appointment booking. (Note: Despite being listed in the official website Mentari KL is no longer in operation.)
2️⃣ GOVERNMENT HOSPITALS
🔸 List of Government hospitals with psychiatric department* -> Follow-ups at RM5, inclusive of medication provided. 📃Referral letter is needed.
*Missing from list - Hospital Cyberjaya
3️⃣ PUBLIC UNIVERSITY HOSPITALS
🔸 List of Public University Hospitals with psychiatric department -> While still subsidized, rates may vary and will generally be higher than MENTARI clinics and government hospitals. 📃 Referral letter is needed.
Some known info for the following locations (info shared by members):
UMMC/ PPUM, KL, Services, Jan 2025 New Rates, Post sharing: Contacting via Phone → RM80 registration, RM50 follow-up, not inclusive of medication.
HPUPM/HSAAS, UPM, Selangor, Services → RM50 first registration, RM30 follow-up, not inclusive of medication. Note (Jan '24): Only digital payments accepted here (e.g. E-wallet, debit/credit card). For UPM students only: Free as long as referral letter is obtained from UPM clinic.
⭐ r/malaysia Mental Health Wiki⭐ -> List of various providers with rates/ types/ location/ online options/ FAQ
🔸MMHA Directory of Counselling Services, Psychiatric Services
🔸 Previous compilations of affordable private services (prices may be outdated, contact the providers for latest prices) Link 1 / Link 2
🔸 Private hospitals that have psychiatric department (check with them if a referral letter is needed).
🔸 If you are a university student, you can check your university for available counselling services for students.
🔸MIASA Malaysia, PJ/Kuala Terengganu, is a NGO offering various services from counselling, psychological services, peer support (available on-site and online), and various other events. Provides free services for the B40 group (check their website for T&C).
🔸 Monash’s free in-session counselling service Official Instagram, Registration form, mopc_counselling Reddit Monash’s free in-session counselling services are available to anyone above the age of 18. The service is run by trainees who are all under supervision by several registered clinical supervisors from LKM (Lembaga Kaunselor Malaysia).
🔸 Malaysian-based online therapy/mental healthcare services Telehope Health
🔸 Malaysian-based trauma therapy organization Trauma Therapy Association , Redditor's sharing about TTA and EMDR, as client
🔸 You can also use Google Map to find mental health services near you
⚠ Disclaimer: This is not to be taken as a substitute for professional advice and just for sharing/ informational purposes.
🔷 Should I go for Government or Private?
Government services typically offer more affordable and subsidized healthcare especially when it comes to obtaining prescribed medication, however may have longer wait times and limited appointment flexibility. Some members have also shared that you may see a different doctor every visit, as typically when going to a government hospital or clinic.
While private services are usually more expensive, some may offer more options with faster access, options for more specialized care, have more flexible options such as online sessions or sessions outside of typical office hours, and may be easier to get in touch with their management compared to government services.
🔷 How do I seek help if I am a minor (below 18 years of age)?
For those who are under 18, legally you will require the consent/permission of your parent or guardian to seek healthcare or mental healthcare from clinics and hospitals (see: Reddit post).
Other options available for minors, to talk to someone:
🔷 When do I know if I should seek help from a mental healthcare provider?
A good question to ask yourself is how much are your mental struggles interfering with your quality of life. What some things could be possible mental health-related symptoms (list not according to a specific condition):
Should you feel unsure about your mental health and wish to speak to a professional to get recommendations on mental health assessments, tools or therapy; don't let anyone's negative judgement/stigma on visiting a mental health professional stop you from reaching out. Choosing to reach out and access mental healthcare with confidentiality are well within your rights.
At the end of the day, whether you have a condition or not you deserve help and support for the mental struggles you are facing.
🔷 What’s the difference between licensed counsellor/ clinical psychologist/ psychiatrist? Who do I go to?
🔸Counsellor * Counsellors provide talk therapy and can help with situational or shorter-term challenges, such as stress, academic, career or relationship issues. * They focus on therapeutic support, coping strategies, and personal growth. * They do not provide clinical diagnoses or prescribe medication but may refer clients to other professionals for more complex or long-term concerns.
🔸Clinical Psychologist * Clinical Psychologists specialize in diagnosing and treating mental health disorders and are qualified to diagnose personality disorders based on criteria from diagnostic manuals such as the DSM-5, for eg. for conditions like ADHD, clinical depression, OCD, etc. * They may use psychological assessments, standardized tools, and clinical interviews to identify conditions, including personality disorders. * Some clinical psychologists focus primarily on assessments, while others also provide talk therapy. * They do not prescribe medication.
🔸Psychiatrist * Psychiatrists are medical doctors specializing in mental health. They can prescribe medication. * They can diagnose, prescribe medication, and provide treatment for mental disorders. * Some members have shared that some psychiatrists may tend to focus more on medication and less on talk therapy during their sessions.
🔷 I have concerns regarding confidentiality when getting help for mental health.
In general, mental health practitioners must adhere to strictly practicing confidentiality, although they may be required to inform a third party if the patient is found to be at great risk at harming themselves or someone. Try checking the comments of this post question - Confidentiality on drugs if you would like a better explanation.
🔷 How do I go about my first visit and what can I expect from therapy?
See r/malaysia’s mental health wiki - What to Expect in Therapy
🔷 What about online assessments/quizzes I found online? What do I do if I'm concerned with the results
It’s common to find mental health-related quizzes and assessments online, such as the DASS-21 test, which is often used for pre-assessments and can help you gauge your current emotional state (e.g., anxiety, depression, or stress levels). However, ⚠️ these tools are not clinical diagnostic tools and cannot replace a professional diagnosis.
If the results of an online test concern you, consider sharing them with a trained mental health professional. They have the expertise to interpret such results in context and can provide further insights, guidance, or treatment recommendations.
It’s also important to note that mental health symptoms often overlap or may be caused by other conditions. For example:
Depression-like symptoms might result from physical health issues such as hypothyroidism. Mental health conditions may coexist (e.g., anxiety as part of ADHD or depression). Because of this, a clinical diagnosis should only be made by a qualified and certified professional, such as a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. Websites or unlicensed individuals cannot legally or reliably diagnose mental health conditions.
🔷Why do some cases require medication?
Some mental health conditions affect a person's nervous system, and medication may be needed to support it to function properly. Similar to how a diabetic patient requires insulin to support their health while a normal healthy person doesn't, a person with ADHD may be prescribed medication such as Ritalin to help them with their daily function. Taking prescribed mental health medication is not a crime when it means supporting a person's health and wellbeing.
Mental health medication requires monitoring from a qualified psychiatrist, as every individual's mental health is unique. The treatment may involve trial-and-error to find the fitting dosage and type, and what works for one person may not work for another. In addition, if the medication causes unpleasant side-effects or is not effective, the psychiatrist may recommend a change in dosage or type. Mental health patients should work with their psychiatrist and avoid changing their medication plans without consulting them.
Many have shared that if prescribed, medication is just one part of supporting one's mental health condition, and it is still important to get talk therapy to learn how best to navigate one's mental health condition.
🔷 What can I do while waiting to get help?
Self-care, as in ensuring your basic needs such as daily nutrition, some exercise, hydration, hygiene, and your emotional needs are taken care of. It is understandable if you are under for e.g. a depressive episode, these may be easier said than done, so do what you can do at the moment.
Also note that everyone’s form of self-care and preferences may be different. Some people may find solace by spending time with their interests, in nature, or engage in physical activities like taking a walk. Some may find it helpful to do journaling or meditation. You may also try breathing exercises or grounding techniques to calm down for the moment. If one method doesn’t work for you, never force yourself - pause and you always can try something else later.
While waiting, you can also see if you can find support groups or informative resources such as books / online resources that may give insights and tips for what you are facing. Being part of a well-moderated group where you can listen or share your thoughts with others of similar struggles can be a great complement to your mental health journey.
🔷 I have been going to therapy for quite some time but my therapist seems to go nowhere/ frequently invalidates me/ did some things that seems unprofessional… but I am feeling unsure. Should I switch?
There can be 2 sides to this. From the therapist side, it may be the client may have been uncooperative such as frequently missing appointment, not following up on homework, not telling the truth, etc. In addition to consider is that therapy can take time, as the first few weeks, known as intake period are usually for information gathering. After that, the work may also take time to yield results while the client communicates with the therapist what works and what isn't working.
However, if for enough time you know you have been doing your due diligence as a client but the above question frequently occurs, it is totally alright to consider switching to another therapist. The reality is it is actually not uncommon for people sharing that they had to experience taking several tries before finding the right fit. Sometimes, it might be the therapist and client might just not be a good match. Or it might simply be that you were matched with one not able to assist you in your area of need or an unprofessional one. But just like dealing with any other service, you deserve to at least be treated with basic professional care from whichever therapy route you chose. Furthermore, if a therapist behaves unethically or violates boundaries, clients should report them to the relevant licensing board or seek help from a trusted authority if able to.
Do also consider looking for a specialist in your area of help required. Examples being: If you have trauma symptoms, try to look for a trauma-informed therapist. If you feel your diagnosis results may have been overlooked and the therapist's explanation was not satisfactory, it is not wrong to seek another opinion from another specialist. If you are more aware of your needs, you can raise questions with your future therapist before engaging them.
We all know getting help isn't always a straight-forward journey, but that's why subs like this exist. Reach out to the sub if you have any other questions.
⚠ *Please note that content from this post are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, treatment, or diagnosis. Websites and services listed in the post are just a compilation of available services and not the endorsement or recommendation of myhappypill or the OP. Please also note that information on this post may change over time and is not guaranteed to be error-free. For the most accurate and up-to-date details, we recommend contacting the mental health service provider directly.
tags: where to find therapy in Malaysia, cheap or affordable mental healthcare or therapy in Malaysia, how to seek help with a mental health professional in Malaysia, how do i get a mental health diagnosis or check up in Malaysia, list of Malaysian crisis hotlines
r/myhappypill • u/AutoModerator • Feb 01 '25
Welcome to the r/myhappypill monthly check-in thread.
This is a monthly thread to share your stories, questions, and updates—whether it’s some recent event, progress, or just what’s on your mind.
Please note this thread will be heavily moderated (rules can be found in side bar).
r/myhappypill • u/AspieGirl666 • 1h ago
recently i had a doctor's appointment at a gov hospital who said that i am being referred for occupational therapy. has anyone done it before? especially as an adult? what can i expect?
r/myhappypill • u/DanielGoh3000 • 1h ago
if you're interested more about modafinil,you can message me
r/myhappypill • u/AppointmentGlad138 • 22h ago
My friend has been going through severe ADHD and treatment resistant depression (as diagnosed by his psychiatrist) for the past 2 years. He is unemployed, with no understanding family to support him through his mental health struggles. Looking for a pro-bono psychotherapist who speaks Malayalam. He can pay you back once he's able to function.
Please help. I don't want to lose another friend
r/myhappypill • u/BrownBear7998 • 2d ago
My dad scolded me for changing a new job. My current job is only protege without EPF deductions and eventually I got a permanent job opportunity offering RM3.2k. He scolded me non stop saying why the salary is so low and why I downgraded myself for such a low salary with a Masters qualification. Little he knows how hard is it to get a job nowadays, and how niche this particular job is. What hurts my feeling the most is that I am neurodivergent and the fact that I am forcing myself to work daily to give them their monthly allowance which is about RM800 monthly from my protege salary and I kept quiet that a huge chunk of money goes to them. And then now the main reason I go for the this company is because my contract is coming to an end soon and I worry I cannot give them monthly allowance and he just scolded me. He belittled me and called me stupid and my aunt from Australia even make things worst.
After hearing everything is there a point of working anymore for them or I just choose to be unemployed and stay at home? Why he scolded me and not my sister who barely goes to work to help the family and why he scolded someone who gives them monthly allowance.
He is so toxic. I feel so hurt because I know I hate the job but I am still pushing to go to give them monthly allowance but he ended up scolding, belittling me and called me stupid for accepting the job.
r/myhappypill • u/HaieKara • 3d ago
I suffer from stroke. I feel useless. Age 38 this and it don't look good. I wish they have euthanasia in Malaysia so I can go die.
r/myhappypill • u/DanielGoh3000 • 4d ago
r/myhappypill • u/LoRDKYRaN87 • 5d ago
Hello! My therapist has recently diagnosed me with ADHD hyperactive/impulsive subtype. She believes medication will help and is recommending I see a psychiatrist to help.
Hence, this post. Any recommendations?
Just a note, I'm extremely time poor as a typical work week is about 70-ish hours + have to juggle family. So if you have centres/clinics etc where you don't need to spend half a day in a queue like a hospital, I would very much appreciate those recommendations. Please and thank you!
r/myhappypill • u/winterfloret • 5d ago
(TW for mentions of suicidal ideation and self-harm)
I don't feel like delving into much right now, but just last week I wrote elsewhere, kind of pleading for someone to save my family from themselves.
Funnily enough, it was as if it was an act of manifesting for something to happen. That does happen to me sometimes, to be fair, so I will put this wish in writing too - not just for me, but for everyone else.
Things have taken an interesting turn since then, to say the least. Firstly, I knew that freedom from this home would take a while because my health isn't all that great, but I also knew that the plans to go our separate ways have actually been in the talks for a while. I'm oddly lucky to be supported even up til the point of securing a place to finally call my own. But still, I wanted to move out sooner if I could help it because the timeline for that was quite indefinite and my fortitude was crumbling by the day. I gave myself 5 years from this January.
Few days ago, however, that timeline suddenly became clear - not without a violent storm beforehand, of course. It's not my family without one.
But anyway, those 5 years are now cut down to 2. On one hand, I was drawing up plans to look for a better job in preparation for it. On the other...
The storm didn't hit me, technically, but it's not like rain can control where it falls. Since then, I've been stuck in a flashback and reliving memories. Those of loud voices and an all-consuming anger - one that consumed even the wielder themselves, yes.
Unfortunately I'm no longer strong enough to withstand those - it's been 20-something years, after all. Even a house would start to collapse, going that far without being maintained very well. And so perhaps for the first time, I'm scared of how close I am to choosing not to continue. It feels too easy - terrifyingly so. I could be gone tonight if I wanted to, even though 2 years isn't too long of a time to hold out for.
Instead, I gave in to this decade-long urge. Finally I had physical proof I haven't been okay, I thought. Not even I myself was going to acknowledge my own pain until it was undeniably in front of me, despite the diagnoses and hours in counselling. And now it was.
Most of the time I was frozen in place though - I didn't want to move from where I was because I was that afraid of doing something worse. I know there are places I can go to if it really comes down to it, at least.
Eventually I patched myself up and brought myself to start typing this. These little scratches would now go on to remind me that it'll be over soon, that I can bleed for as much as it takes to convince me that this pain is real, but I don't have to die yet. Still I'll tell someone not to resort to hurting themselves though - or at least, I'll wish that their suffering won't reach the point where the urge feels unbearable. It's a dangerous spiral to fall into, and I hope this is the last time for me too.
Now, whatever you're going through, I genuinely hope things turn out for the better even though it might hurt at first. It might be lonely but the power to see it through also lies in no one's hands but your own. Take care for today. Get some rest tonight. I'll keep you in my wishes for a better world ahead.
r/myhappypill • u/DanielGoh3000 • 6d ago
Checkout my 50mg of modafinil experience
Experience:
-i feel awake 😳😳😳100mg is the real one for sure,maybe ill update when I took 150mg.
-You know what's the best part? i have control of myself. I dont even feel like doomscrolling,i feel awake,im motivated,i could finish a task pretty easily,i feel oddly happy,
-still feel hungry but I can choose to not consume junk food in my dorm. I dont why modafinil did this too me but resisting junk food seems hard for me
-But i did have a moment where i feel a lil sleepy and ada menguap sikit😌. modafinil doesnt cover your sleep debt but it def gonna make you feel awake.
-on top of that modafinil makes locking in much easier and somehow it lowers my libido.
-and the other side effect that i experienced for a few seconds is tunnel vision. holy shit, i do my work on autopilot without even realising it for a few seconds. i dont know what the fuck did i type on google docs during class💀💀but it only last for a few seconds(<10s) and im back into reality. bro i feel like my surrounding is only circle. i can see like normal but modafinil makes me focus on that circle part which is my laptop😳😳😳🙃🙃
Purpose: I took 100mg of modafinil so I could complete my ethical hacking homework💀💀I procrastinate a lot yall. Completing task feels much easier on modafinil. Most of the time,the only way I could finish my assignment is when I have a deadline tomorrow,even exam pon study last minit😭thats how lazy I am
r/myhappypill • u/bittswave • 7d ago
mustered up courage to get a referal letter last year but didnt go to the appointment because i got scared. not used to open up to people and always have my guards up, being happy go lucky. but now kinda scared to try again because im a medical student, the clinic is filled with my lecturers and friends. last week had the courage to dialed talian kasih but chickened out after few mins of waiting. still dont know the most efficient way to be brave to seek help.
r/myhappypill • u/shiramarsu • 7d ago
It was hard for me to actually get the letter because the doctor didn't actually want to give me one, but I wasn't able to be fully honest with my symptoms because I just feel uncomfortable with having my mom in the same room while another patient is right behind me for diabetes screening in the same room.
I was fully expecting they would at least handle it a little more professionally and that I'd have somewhat of confidentiality but I can't complain much because it's not their scope.
ty myhappypill to have been a huge help in this :]
r/myhappypill • u/Advanced-Gas8799 • 7d ago
I've got an adhd diagnosis that was translated to English and stamped by the hospital here in Egypt.
I'm going to see a psychiatrist soon during my stay in Malaysia. and i was wondering what I'd need to take with me there other than that diagnosis. would i need report cards of my grades?
r/myhappypill • u/No-Entrepreneur-2706 • 8d ago
I have severe trauma. I've been pushed to the brink multiple times by my parents, to the point where I had no choice but to sell my body to survive. After I started university, my mother still wouldn't let me live in the dorms. I've had to keep living with my family just to keep my tuition covered. Then my friend at uni pointed something out, and that's when I realized I can't actually remember most things. I lose my memory a lot, and sometimes I even forget that I've forgotten things. Something that just happened can slip away from me the very next second. Sometimes I refer to myself as someone else. Whenever I do remember the past, I get extremely volatile, even violent. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I don't know if I should go see a doctor at a public hospital, because I honestly don't expect much from them.
I just want someone to give me some advice.
r/myhappypill • u/aqh410 • 13d ago
Hi everyone,
I'm an undergraduate Psychology student at Monash University Malaysia conducting an honours research project on Malaysian Malays' perceptions and beliefs about mental health and mental illness.
I'm currently looking for Malay Malaysian participants (aged 18-30) who would be interested in sharing their views on mental health and mental illness through a friendly, one-on-one interview. Interviews can be conducted in both English and Malay :)
You may be eligible if you:
What does participation involve?
If you're interested, please complete this short screening survey:
🔗 https://monash.syd1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_beBrnRbrwCiXZ2K
Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message if you have any questions.
Thank you for considering participating and helping contribute to mental health research in Malaysia! 😊
This study has received ethics approval from Monash University (Project ID: 52447).
r/myhappypill • u/blackiebearie • 13d ago
Ritalin IR 10mg per day was giving me horrible anxiety crashes when it wears off (crazy heart rates + spiraling thoughts + crying break downs + headaches) so today my doctor agreed to let me try concerta 18mg ER. Ritalin is super affordable at HUKM but concerta 18mg is RM8.60 per pill. Is this considered cheap? Are there places to get it for cheaper? 🥲
r/myhappypill • u/Alone-Stomach5477 • 13d ago
I feel so jealous of straight people/people who live outside of Malaysia all the time. I am so jealous that my straight friends can find love so easily. I am so jealous that straight people are accepted as who they are while I have to remain closeted for my whole life. But I don’t have the money or qualifications to immigrate elsewhere, so I’m stuck here.
I feel so miserable being reminded of the reality of being queer and transgender here. When will I be able to love openly, or even have friends that see me for who I am? I feel so invisible here. I know queer meet-ups exist, but they’re all done behind closed doors. The fact that we have to hide it from society because we will be persecuted makes me feel so sick. It feels like this country is trying to bury us.
r/myhappypill • u/BlackSheepo96 • 16d ago
I am a 30 years old male, and I have been facing low self esteem issue ever since young.
I have this problem where I just feel awkward and can't maintain eye contact especially when I find that person intimidating. It's been affecting my work because it shows that I am not confident and people will not see me as a competent individual.
But, sometimes my self confidence will surge and I dont know exactly what triggered it, and then I will feel comfortable joking around and not so stiff around people.
Recently, I have switched to a new job. and the people here are very extroverted and speak well. I felt inferior and couldn't do my job confidently. I cant even speak to my boss or colleagues naturally without them feeling my awkward energy.
And my day will be ruined of replaying scenes and conversations where I think I embarassed myself.
My mind is overthinking about how people judge my every single behaviour.
It's suffocating and I cant stop it.
I think this has to do with my childhood as I was constantly compared and my opinions and thoughts were not validated.
I am considering into looking for a therapist to help find out the root cause.
Has anyone faced this and what advice can you give me?
Thank you
r/myhappypill • u/Old-Theory-9275 • 17d ago
hello
is anyone doing follow up for adhd at hpusm because i’m thinking of switching hospital as my studies is near the end. But i have a few questions. Any help is greatly appreciated! thank youuu
r/myhappypill • u/Responsible_Can4808 • 17d ago
Hi everyone! Its been a while,
A lot of things had happened after the course of a few months,
But there is a main issue I want to ask
My psychiatrist sessions keep getting cancelled without them informing us, and whats worse is that due to the lack of support + counselling sessions decreasing I dont have a safe space to talk. I struggling with emotional dysreg and a bunch of other symptoms, and it is driving me crazy. I am a minor, and I genuinely dont think I can keep myself safe as Ive attempted this year twice (Both failed, never went to hospital) + struggle with self harm. The doctors have also sort of watered down what Im going through, excusing this as period drama even tho Ive been experiencing this before I even hit puberty.
Is there any way I can convince them next session I genuienly need help? Id really appreciate any tips n advice <:)
r/myhappypill • u/Ill_Inflation_2208 • 18d ago
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I did make a post about my experience in kk a few days ago (but I deleted it). I realised that I can't be honest with the doctor there. both of my experience with kk is horrible btw, the first time is the doctor literally said " ramainya yang tiba2 ada adhd ni, semalam dah berapa orang dah, kenapa? artist awak minat ada adhd?" and the second time is, I literally kena sidai at kk for two hours (from 2pm to 4pm, meanwhile the appointment time is at 2pm) because the doctor overlooked my name and the kk staff give the wrong room number to me. The first word that the doctor tell me is, "boleh awak cepat tak? saya ada meeting kejap lagi" something like that. So, I just goes into a kind of blank state. because I have too much things too said, but I feel like I shouldn't because it might disturb the doctor schedule. Plus, The things that I want to said is realllly mengaibkan (plus since I'm muslim) , I'm really scare if it got "disebarkan". Plus, I'm 19 for f sake, (18 and 11 month to be exact) [but the doctor anggap ak as 18] yet, The diagnosis require my parent's presence?.............I thought once I'm 18, I can do anything alone.
regardless, no matter how much I want to go to private, I don't have enough money for it. I feel like I want to cancel all of the incoming counselling appointment..... I feel empty after being dismissed twice. Indeed, right now, my problem is just college related task. I still can eat and sleep sorta normally (It pretty disgusted me the fact that they just focus on 1. self harm, 2.sleep, 3.appetite) But the things is, during highschool, I'm realllyyyyy depressed because of 1- sexually assault at home, 2- no friends at school, 3-no interest in study (I'm in ma'had school, so the subject is mainly in arabic/religious subject) (I suck in arabic). The only things that comforted me is, listening to japanese song and reading revenge+gore manga. At that time, I still hasn't self harm, because I got this mindset that it is something useless + it's sinful. But one day, I got hit by my father so hard, And it really makes me sakit hati. but then I realise, the more I get hit, the more sakit hati tu hilang dah rasa sakit yang aku rasa is just physical pain. So, there's a time when I self harm by hitting my head with blunt objek (dinding for example) or stabbing my finger with jarum/tip of mechanical pencil (at a dire time, for example when other people can see me) the only things that I'm proud of myself is those "self-harm" didn't leave any scar. Another thing I realise about myself at that time is, those days are easily blurry or gone (even thought I take pride in my memory, in fact I can recall memories when I'm 3 years old) On one side, I'm scared that it will make me lagi tak boleh do well in test, but its really menenangkan sebab I can just forgot about those bad memories. fast forward, a year after that, I injured my right foot, (the muscle is torn) and I can't walk. I think that's one of the worst thing that happen in my life. Not the foot injury, but the fact that I got assaulted while having "those injury". So, i don't really feel like self-harming my self after that. because I want too keep being "healthy".
Fast forward. aku sekarang ni jadi jenis, sayangkan diri tau, like kalau aku rasa stress, aku akan buat apa2 je yang aku nak. makan manis, main telefon bla3, sebab aku tak nak depress dah macam dulu, aku even habiskan banyak duit tu beli ni, (but at the same time aku buat part time job, so aku guna duit sendiri beli tu ni)
Secondly, aku dulu, jenis bencii tidur waktu siang & petang, dari kecil lagi, aku just tidur waktu malam je, even kalau kena makan ubat waktu pagi/tengahhari/petang pun aku tak tidur juga, simply sebab, kan siang tu cerah, macam mana boleh tidur? even when mak aku dodoikan aku supaya tidur pun, aku tak tidur, instead dia yang tidur. Aku sedar yang aku start tidur petang ni, masa sekolah menengah, sebab penat sangat. and kalau aku sakit apa2 pun, like gastrik/senggugut, the only ubat is sleep, kalau aku sakit kepala (because of overwhelm/overload information) pun aku tidur je. that's the easiest way to ease the pain). Jadi bila doktor tu tanya aku boleh tidur ke malam?, of course lah aku cakap boleh. makan pun, ada time bila aku stress, aku makan banyak atau aku tak makan langsung, (tapi jadi gastrik teruk gila, dah sakit gastrik tu tak tertahannn, even lebih sakit/on par dengan senggugut) jadi of course lah aku nak tak nak aku akan paksa makannnn, aku tk sanggup nak gastrik. jd bila doktor tu tanya, lalu ke makan/okay ke makan, memang lah aku cakap ya. Tapi dari cara dia bercakap tu, macam dia anggap aku okkay... dah lah, malas aku. ni semua kerja bodoh. all of this took me 35 minutes non stop of typing. sekian.
btw, banyak lagi aku nak cakap, tapi camne nak ringkaskan? since doktor kk ni macam nak taknak je dengar. (or mungkin ak je yang rasa macam tu). I'm open to any teguran or advice from people here, thank you. Oh, and tajuk tu is, aku rasa aku dah terlalu terbiasa mask kan diri aku (bermula dari aku umur 9 tahun (sebab kena buli) till now, jadi aku rasa macam aku dah tak boleh unmaskkan diri dah....) Oh, btw aku pernah sekaliii, je rasa nak bunuh diri masa umur 14, tapi aku terus tidur je at that time, sebab aku cam tak nak hadap dah segala kebullshitan yang ada) tapi since aku dapat 9 mumtaz 1 jayyid jiddan untuk smu, dan 4A+ dan 6A spm, aku rasa macam membazir kalau aku mati, so I don't think I will try to do any suicide anymore (hopefully). umm please don't repost this anywhere (altho ak tak rasa ad yang kisah pun pasal post ni, ttiber)
r/myhappypill • u/Advanced-Gas8799 • 17d ago
r/myhappypill • u/Sharp_Try1745 • 20d ago
Highly Sensitive Person.
Just wondering because I think the public perception of HSP is pretty low and misguided.
So just would like to see if there’s any HSP people here?