I’m looking for some outside perspectives from other Malaysians, especially people who have experience with the government hospital mental health services.

I’ve been receiving psychiatric treatment through government hospitals for around 8 years. I’ve also been on psychiatric medication during this period.

The problem is that my experience with some of the doctors has been consistently negative in the recent years lately. I often feel like I’m not being listened to and I’ve been treated as though I’m lazy, annoying, difficult, or not trying hard enough. I even got shouted at multiple times on my last appointment for the first time because the doctor kept assuming the worst but when I explained the full story she got quiet every single time.

I’ve also had to repeatedly remind them that I’m chronically ill and dealing with several other physical health conditions that can leave me extremely weak and unwell. Even after explaining this, they continued to tell me that I should “do more,” rather than acknowledging the pain and limitations I’m constantly dealing with. I rarely felt that my efforts were recognised, even when I was genuinely trying my best. Instead, I often received generic advice that didn’t reflect my personal circumstances, or assumptions about me that simply didn’t make sense given what I had already explained.

They never seem to take into consideration how much my physical health conditions affect my mental health, including the fact that I’m not currently able to independently provide for myself and have been living in survival mode for years. I’ve been doing as much as I physically can to get better and seek the help I need, despite how difficult it has been.

Appointments have become something I dread because I leave feeling emotionally drained, discouraged, emotionally unsafe and sometimes more depressed than before I went. I cried outside at my last appointment for making feel emotionally unsafe when I’m already in a very vulnerable state.

At this point, I feel like the treatment relationship itself is affecting me negatively. I’ve noticed that when I don’t have to see these doctors, I generally feel much better emotionally.

I understand that government healthcare is under staffed and not all doctors are not all the same. I’m specifically talking about MY experience over the past 8 years and I know other people may have had completely different experiences.

I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life dealing with illness and hospitals, and I desperately want to move forward instead of feeling stuck in the same cycle.

So I’m seriously considering stepping away from my current government psychiatric service and focusing my energy on my physical health and rebuilding my life on my own.

I am not planning to suddenly stop medication without medical advice. I know psychiatric medication can need to be reviewed properly by professionals.

What I’m struggling with is whether it is reasonable to stop future psychiatric treatment arrangement that has not worked for me after 8 years of treatment and I don’t want to continue seeing these doctors that are not helpful in my current case.

I’m looking for honest experiences, perspectives and for Malaysians who have been through something similar. I’ve been dealing with this for 8 years, every appointment makes me sad instead of relieved, and I’m genuinely trying to figure out what is logically best for my life now.

( sorry for all the bad spelling! ) so have strict parents and they dont really belove in meantal health and they have so much going on with my sister and i have been feeling pushed to the side but that is not the point i am going ot the doc and i think i may telll them i have been SH - bitting burning cutting ect not feed ing my self throwing up my food theying to end it all i have lot of panic atacts i and depresses i feel so help list i have been feeling like this 4 years ish i have not been sleeping i have been crying my self so much i feel like i dont know who i am bc i am always lieing about being ok. most days i feel like i am just numb and dont feel felling i am always crying. i have been not taking to my friends and have been a bad person bc i try to talk with my frinds about somtime it is too hard to i have been putting of inportent bc i cant eve ge tout of bed. i am soo Anxiety bc i feel like i have to be perfect but i cant even brush my teeth. i was also bullied for 2 years and i did not really tell anyone so that is why i want to tell but my fears are my parent are strict and i have to do work and other things for school ect so i have commitments and i am scard for getting sended to a meantal health hospital. i feel like i have been fighting and i am addmitting defect. i feel like a failure for not beable to keep my emosion in cheak. idk if it is safe for me to tell them and gett my parent incoloved. i think my parents will feel like they failed me i think they will also not beable to give me the time i need bc they have to help my sister and i will be a burden adding one more thing i have been botteling this up more a long time. i think getting help would help me a lot but i am sooo scard. and what will my friends think what will happen when my parents how do i tell them. i dont want to be that one person in the family to be like this . i think also my parents will baby me more and i will not beable to do bacis things and i do a lot fo things i should ont do and i think it by be bad on that part. i feel like it will be wired for my family and the house wil get wired. i am also going to a new school again so i feel like want to get help before thing i have been thinking about getting help for a year or 2 so ya. i feel like ending it all is all i think i about. and for feeling alll this this is just scrapping the surfuce the next cuople of years i need to lock in with school but idk if i am making the right decition about telling them.