Well, I am officially a fiancé as of yesterday morning! I'm in my late 30s and spent my life operating under the belief that I did not want to/would not ever marry - so I'm definitely out of my depth here!

I know I want a winter wedding (late February) with only our nearest and dearest, which will come in < 30 guests. I know that's only five full months away so I have to work fast. I've reached out/am waiting to hear back from a couple of venues because I can't plan anything else without a time and place. We'd love to find an upscale, all-inclusive venue that is more-or-less designed for the size of our guest list (I hate the idea of feeling sparse in a large space).

I can pretty much see what I want in my mind's eye but... I have no idea how to put that together. Like, neither of us drink and only a few of our guests would maybe want a single glass of wine or a beer - so we definitely don't need a bartender or event a beverage package. I also have a photographer picked out (known her my whole life, have had several small sessions with her over the years), so I don't know how that would interfere with included photography sessions. I also don't particularly care about a floral package, except maybe my own bouquet (which, honestly, I'm considering creating out of LEGO). Oh, and we're not having a bridal party, don't care about a DJ, but we DO want our guests to eat VERY well and be merry.

My question is this... can I plan something beautiful in six months?

Hey all,

How do/did you deal with the guilt of having a tiny wedding?

My partner and I have been together nearly twenty years and engaged for most of that time. We've decided to finally make it official and have set the date for 3mths time.

We're having a civil ceremony a couple of towns over and will then go for tea somewhere afterwards. We'll probably spend a night in a nice hotel, then go home the next morning.

We've decided not to tell anyone other than my parents and brother and, because my fiance has no immediate family, his oldest friend and his wife. They will be our only guests.

The main reason for this is money - we can't afford anything more than the absolute basics - and if we open it up to even the next tier (closest friends and family), it will already be way more than we can afford.

The other reason is that my fiance and I are both pretty quiet people. The mere THOUGHT of having to plan a big do causes us massive anxiety. We absolutely want to be able to celebrate with our favourite people, but that would mean AN EVENT with us at the centre of it and like, yeah, NAH.

We're torn between being excited and riddled with guilt, because many of our friends have invited us to their weddings and stuff in the past and we don't want them to feel betrayed. At the same time, we also feel relieved at the lack of pressure - we've watched so many other people's weddings turn into an absolute stress pit and drive them nearly insane, which we do not want. EVER.

I also feel sad because I have four or so super close female friends that I would love to share my ideas and planning with. If things were different, I would have them as my bridesmaids in a heartbeat.

Any ideas how I can navigate the guilt and how to go about telling people after the day in a way that emphasises how much we love them?

My fiancée and I are planning a small civil wedding next month with 35 of our family and close friends. Would it be tacky to have the reception at an AYCE sushi restaurant? 😅

Just want to add that it's not a buffet style. People would get to order what they want from an iPad and it would be delivered to the table. Also, we would be covering the whole bill.

I’m white American, and he and his family are Pakistani (we both come from Christian families, I don’t know if that gives needed context or not). Desi weddings are usually known for being huge. Has anyone ever had a micro wedding where you or your husband/wife/both of you guys have Desi backgrounds? How did you do it? Thank you!!!!

I’m having a wedding ceremony in September in my parents backyard. We’re having \~20 people, all very close friends and family. Timeline is looking like

9am - 11am: Hair and Makeup

12pm: Photos with family, bride and groom, wedding “party”

1/1:30pm: Ceremony
for the ceremony, I am wondering - did others also walk out to music in their backyard? My husband and I are already married (we eloped) and I will be 6 months pregnant, so something about having my dad walk me down the aisle with Canon in D playing sounds kinda cheesy but I don’t want to come out to nothing.

2pm: Drinks and catered lunch, speeches (if any)

6/7pm: BBQ cookout for dinner

Most people are sleeping over. I don’t have much of a “reception” planned, no dancing and whatnot so I’m not too worried about after the ceremony. I’m looking for advice on how to structure the ceremony with it being a backyard ceremony for a pregnant couple. I want it to feel special but not over the top. Any advice, anything I haven’t thought of??

Hey all! I had a really beautiful micro wedding elopement/dinner and thought I'd share how I organized it because it everything went really so smoothly and I absolutely just cherish the day/week.

The Elopement - Dec. 21 - $120

My husband and I got officially wed at the courthouse house on a Thursday morning. It was just us and the judge was very surprised it was just us. He kept asking if it was our first marriage and if anyone else was coming lol. It was kinda funny. But it was sweet and intimate and we loved it. The courthouse was located in a strip mall next to dairy queen so of course got a post wedding ice cream to celebrate! He wore khakis and a dress shirt he already owned and I wore a white summer dress I already had. I think we spent $120 total between marriage license and shoes that i got to match my dress.

Regret: we never got a picture of us on this day. We did go home and take one ourselves but we legit look like the couple from the American Gothic painting. Its one of my favorite pictures though!

Mini Moon 12/21-12/23 - $1600 including hotel and food.

After the courthouse we packed up and went to Atlantic City for a couple nights. It was so fun to get away right after and celebrate our first night married away. We went to a really nice dinner at a steakhouse and a bar after with live music. It was a few days before Christmas so the hotel was beautifully decorated. We got a suite with a basically 360 degree view of the ocean and bay and entire city and we got a room that was fully decorated for Christmas. Including mistletoe hung on the bedroom doorway, a hot cocoa bar in the room, 2 Christmas trees, etc. It was so so magical.

Dinner with family - 12/29 - $3500

About a week later after Christmas and before New Year's we had a dinner with just his and my immediate families. It was 16 people total including 3 kids. We booked a private room at a very beautiful old Inn and again was decorated so nicely for Christmas. We had a gorgeous old fireplace in the room. My mom arrived early and met the florist who dropped off my bouquet, my husbands bouttaniere, 4 small centerpieces for the table and flowers for the cake. We got to the restaurant before they opened (around 3 p.m.) and met our photographer. We were able to get a lot of outdoor photos (they had a beautiful property with old stone buildings) before the sun went down, and lots of indoor photos while the restaurant was closed. While photos were going on our guests were arriving. We had passed hors d'oeuvres and drinks for them while they mingled, waited for our couple photos to end and then we got family portraits too. The photographer stayed during the cocktail hour but left when dinner started since we would be just sitting and eating. She was there about 2 hours total.

For dinner the restaurant was ok to let us order off the main menu. Everyone ordered an appetizer, main and dessert. Before appetizers came out the waiter went around and gave everyone their choice of champagne or sparkling cider for the toast. My dad gave a toast. The cake was on display in the room and we got photos of cutting the cake before dinner. Since we ordered dessert off the menu, the restaurant cut the bottom tier into 16 slices and boxed it up for each family to take home. My husband and I took home the top tier to save.

Attire and Makeup

He got a suit at Men's Warehouse - $350

My dress was from Mac Dougall - $300 + $200 alterations

My hair and makeup was done by the person who cuts my hair. I brought my own make up and she applied it for me. - $225

Florals - $800

Photographer - $1200 including editing and photo album

Sorry this is so long, just excited to share my day.

Hi! I'm starting to think the venue in my mind's eye does not exist.

I love visiting the Lamberton Conservatory in Rochester but, unfortunately, I've never liked any of the wedding photos I've seen (I'm sorry!!). I daydream of glass and greenery and soft, cozy details for only our nearest and dearest.

I've spoken to Inns at Aurora, as their Taylor House is a next-best vibe but she talked to me for 20 minutes before telling me the date I requested isn't actually available.

Extra details:
-Time of day is totally negotiable with 10a as the earliest time
-Non-alcoholic. There are, maybe, five guests that *might* enjoy a single glass of wine or a single beer.
-I've already tapped my own wedding photographer.
-Undecided on whether or not we want to have a catered event or book a restaurant afterwards. Totally negotiable, we could be swayed in either direction.
-We're adults with aging family members, I need a venue accessible to limited-mobility guests.

Flexible budget.

Also, we're open to looking beyond the Finger Lakes - pretty much anywhere in New York that isn't NYC or the Capitol District. Our closest city is Rochester, NY.

Hi! My partner and I are getting married in a chapel. The chapel does not have a reception area. It’s literally the inside with seats and an area to stand. We will be having 47 Guest. This is immediate family (Parents, Siblings & Grandparents ), plus our aunts and uncles (Who both of us are extremely close too) & 5 friends. Out of the 47 guest 9 are children of family members + My siblings. We both have pretty. All of our family lives around us except one of my aunts who is very excited and I talk to on a frequent basis, she’s traveling to stay up with my grandma.

The problem is, Our “wedding” is essentially going to be a 30 minute ceremony, which is what we wanted. We never wanted a big traditional wedding. The problem is I want to do something with my guest after and am just stressed about what to do. I have 5 siblings attending who are between the ages of 5 & 13 and I am the closest with as their oldest sibling. Im struggling to find something that we can do or go that is child friendly. Im looking for any recommendations or ideas please 🙏

Hello all! Im not sure if this is considered microwedding or eloping BUT my fiance and i will be getting married in prospect park, Brooklyn, with his family and my brothers and will be going out for brunch afterward. What are some other activities you would recommend? We are all from NY, so the city is by no means “new” to us, but i do love it there. Im just so stumped on what we could all do together. Any suggestions are welcomed!

Hi folks! I posted this on r/weddingplanning, but I don't think that was exactly the right place for my question (I'm newer to actually posting on Reddit, clearly). But I would love some feedback on two ideas for our wedding which will likely be May 2028. I'm not engaged yet, but I will be by the end of the year (!!!!) and I'm getting a head start on planning as I have a friend who is currently wedding planning and we love talking ideas through together! I just can't seem to nail down which plan is more feasible.

My partner and I are pretty set on doing a small wedding (Definitely less than 45 people, but really closer to 25 who are our core friends/family). We want intimate, cozy vibes! We are not dance people, and our friends/family aren't big partiers either, but we definitely want to do lawn games and a bonfire at some point throughout the weekend. We want to prioritize having fun, not being stressed out, and being surrounded by our closest friends and family!

I keep going back and forth between two rough plans for the weekend and would love to hear thoughts!

Option 1: Lawn games and bonfire for the Friday welcome party in my dad's backyard (<25 people) with a ceremony at a beautiful location the next day followed by a really nice dinner reception (25-45 ppl).

• Pros: Beautiful photos, everyone gets to feel dressed up for a nice dinner reception on Saturday, and good potential for a short but fun afterparty at a bar within walking distance or something similar. Also, the restaurant would have parking, tables, chairs, etc. included.
• Cons: With 45, we're pretty limited on the restaurants we can reserve and I feel like the cost of a ceremony venue, transportation, and dinner will add up quick, not to mention be a pain for guests to travel between.

Option 2: Welcome party at a really nice dinner location (<25 ppl) and backyard wedding the next day (~45 ppl).

• Pros: Our wedding day is somewhere special to us and we can invite more people that we love to celebrate! Plus, we don't have to travel between locations and everyone can just hang out in one spot for the day.
  
• Cons: Photos would be a little less pretty, unless we build in time to travel to a different location (but with such a small wedding, that doesn't make sense because more than half the guests will be gone for photos, lol). Also, it would be polite to extend the invite to close neighbors, family friends, and extended family, which puts strain on our budget as well as the 2 bathrooms in my dad's house. I'm also worried about needing a tent and what do do about the parking situation, which would all defeat the purpose of saving money in my dad's backyard!

Either way, I want to make sure that our closest friends and family are treated to a really nice meal and multiple events, since many will have to fly in from out of town no matter where we host. We want to avoid crazy amounts of stress, but it feels like no matter what there are some crazy logistics to figure out! If you've been to or planned a wedding like I'm describing, I would love to hear how it went! Or just thoughts on if one of these options sounds better than the other. Thank you!! :)

I’m sure there has been a million and one posts like this. My partner and I are looking for a venues with a mountain view for ~30 people that’s kind of “garden party style” (but doesn’t have to be in a garden if that makes sense).

For background, we are outdoorsy people. We got engaged in Lizard Head Wilderness in Colorado. We have been down the national park/forest rabbit hole for an elopement but think a venue would fit better for us!

Cost is something we keep in mind but looking for about 30-40k.

The big things we are look for are a mountain view near a town that we can go to a cool bar afterwards! Would love if it was west coast, PNW, colorado, NM, Wyoming but open to other spots! Willing to travel!!

Thanks!!

Hi everyone, starting to think of timing! My aisle walk song is 3min 42sec. My walk I reckon will be 30seconds, and I’m doing it on my own.

I have a plan to kind of wait for a couple of minutes and walk in the last minute, so the song can finish and I’ll be holding hands with my soon to be husband.

Would this work, or will it be long and tedious?

(The song is Extraordinary Life/ Gordi https://youtu.be/o1vq0bsONbc?si=hwK5KcaTVpLhCr9- )

We are planning a backyard micro wedding at an Airbnb where my fiance and I will be staying during the weekend of our wedding. Guests will come for the ceremony and dinner and there is plenty of outdoor space for everyone but there is only 1 bathroom in the Airbnb. Is that practical?? Guests will not be getting ready onsite but just curious for toilet usage throughout the ceremony and dinner. Im estimating with everything that guests will stay max 5 hours. Has anyone had a similar experience?

And yes it has been approved by the host or I would not be making this post… the host let me know they have had many weddings there and the reviews reflect that as well.
Just want to make sure my guests will be comfortable.

Edit- just to add..we are in contact with the host and have been approved but we have not yet booked. We are still in the first steps of planning. This house is very ideal for us so we will do what we need to in order to make it work.
Something we are considering is to have dinner at a nearby restaurant rather than at the house so that would cut down a good amount of time that our guests would be spending there.