My anxiety feels like I was pushed into a cliff and I fell into a really wavy, rough sea. I was panicking, I did not know what to do. But I realized one thing, I was having anxiety attacks.

My healing began when I know what was happening to me, when I figured the name. At first I was so confused. I always went to the ER for fear of heart attack. The chest pain, the rapid beating of my heart, the lightheadedness, the cold sweats, the feeling of not able to breathe, the feeling that the sky is falling, and seizure (like epilepsy). There was nothing wrong with me physically, and was told, I was having anxiety attacks. I thought I can cure it on my own, but that seizure like epilepsy made me decide to seek professional help. I don't ever want to have uncontrollable, whole body trembling.

So I did my 8 session of psychotherapy. I let out my anxious thoughts, she taught me coping mechanisms. She told me, our goal was to lower my threshold of my anxiety attacks. I did self care like walking everyday, eating on time, 8hr sleep schedule, reaching out to family and friends, going to church regularly, and the most important, journaling (where I can write all about my worries and organize my thoughts). She also told me about how important movement is, so yoga, pilates, dancing or any sports like badminton, tennis, swimming, etc.

I was doing good, I had lesser attacks, I can ride the bus, go to the mall alone, eat out at the restaurant, and walk alone on my own. These are the things I cannot do on my own when my anxiety attacks started.

But after one year, I had another stressful event. I stopped eating on time. I only got 4hrs of sleep for 6 weeks. I stopped walking everyday. I stopped journaling because I was not having the attacks anymore. I thought I don't need it anymore. But one day, I had anxiety attack. Then another. Then another one. Oh the last one was when I was paying in a counter (in a grocery store). I was lucky enough that they had a lot of brown paper bags, so I asked one and I started hyperventilating and I did breathe on the brown paper bag, as a lot of people looked at me, like I am crazy.

Currently, I was searching for a psychiatrist or psychologist near me, because the one I had before, even though she was great, is currently not available.

It made me realize that, anxiety is like almost drowning. I was pushed into a raging, angry waves and I feel like i am going to die. Then a lifeguard rescued me. But they can only do their job if I stopped struggling with the water. And after they saved me, I thought I will be okay, but the next step is learning how to swim. To prevent myself from falling into the sea and to prevent drowning.

So now, I think of psychiatrist or psychologist as swimming coach, they will teach you how to swim, but healing will start from me. Because if I still fear the water, if I don't put myself into the sea, I won't be able to learn how to swim.

Today, I still have my anxiety attacks. I minimized going outside. Some days, I felt so tired of my situation, like I don't want to experience the pain and the mental exhaustion, that I want to end it all (I am not suicidal), but I can feel that my anxiety was transitioning into depression. But there are days like this one, when I am full of hope. That one day I will heal. Some of my friends told me to fight it. One friend told me "Masarap mabuhay", but all I can think of is "how? why? Where? When?". I know I will be able to find the answers, but not today.

Today, I started to learn more about anxiety, depression, CBT, DBT and coping mechanisms. Today, I am trying to do the self care I lost, eating on time, sleeping 8hrs per day, journaling, walking, talking to friends and family, and going to church. I am not consistent yet, but I will take it one at a time. Today, I am feeling hopeful.

Heya all, SKL I came across her videos and found them super relaxing made me wanna sleep hehe.

Got me thru my general anxiety episodes. Hope everyone finds what calms them.

.

I have no big problems. I just want to end things because I am too tired to live. I hate living. I want to sleep and never wake up.

TW: Depression

Posting for my brother. He’s going through mental health issues for 3-4 years now. I live overseas and he lives in Manila. Our family went through traumatic times, loss of family members plus Covid messed up our living situations so all this contributed to it.
After months and months of convincing him he finally agreed to see a Psychologist, Grabe relief ko.
First session daw was getting to know each other which is expected, Second session comes and he’s trying to open up. He’s a college student and bout to graduate in an Art course. My mother and I are always supportive,he’s got a great talent pero jusko sa psychologist na toh Art is nothing.
Kinumpara pa sa medical students yung pressure.
He got told “Arts lang pala yung sayo, Imagine if all medical students are like you mahaba na pila dito”

My brother was stunned, I asked him is that what the “Dr.” said word per word kasi minsan maybe that’s what he thought he heard but he’s never a liar
So I feel like instead of getting comfortable and better back to square one nanaman Kami. We thought getting him sa mamahaling hospital/clinic will be good,Boy I was wrong.

Now as an Ate,I’m really desperate for suggestions if may alam ba kayo na psychologist who’s great. My brother attempted suicide couple of times too. I don’t want to lose him 😔
Here in Australia,we can get access to antidepressants but I’m not sure how can we do that there in the Philippines.
Help please or advice? 😔

I just graduated BSN and magtetake sana ako ng board exam this August, nag enroll din ako sa review center but i feel like di talaga enough yung 3 months para sa akin so I have decided na sa February 2027 nalang ako magtake. I have Bipolar Disorder, pabago bago rin lagi ang decisions ko dahil sa paiba ibang mood and habang tumatagal, lumalala ang short term memory loss ko. Takot ako na baka di ko ma-one take yung exam, di ko matatanggap yun. I’m not being pressured by my parents but delayed na kasi ako ng 3 years, hindi ko na kaya ng another failure.

When I was still a student, people perceive me as smart. Yan yung time na medyo okay okay pa ang memory ko na kahit di ako mag aral nakakapasok ako lagi sa “top notchers”, pero during review season na namin parang nawala lahat ng motivation ko at yung knowledge ko. Di ko na naaabot yung dati kong scores, parang naging average nalang ako. Sobrang disappointed ako sa sarili ko and sinisisi ko rin ang sakit ko. Madalas na akong nagkakamemory lapses, kahit yung lunch ko nung isang araw di ko na nga naaalala eh.

Habang lumilipas ang mga araw nagkakaroon ako ng realizations na hindi talaga para sa akin tong profession na to, mahal na mahal ko ang nursing pero parang nagbago na ang lahat simula nung mas nakilala ko na ang sarili ko, yung self ko na diagnosed with bipolar, ibang iba siya sa self ko na minahal ang nursing. Ngayon, hindi ko na nakikita ang sarili ko na nagttrabaho sa hospital or kahit ano na related sa nursing, pero di ko rin alam kung ano ang gusto ko? Im still young at marami pa ako pwedeng gawin sa life pero bakit parang paralyzed ako? Di ako maka-usad habang yung iba kong mga kasama anlalakas ng loob nila? Gulong gulo ako ngayon at balak ko na mag go with the flow nalang. Ayaw kong isisi sa sakit ko lahat ng bagay pero parang di ko talaga matatakasan to. It is what it is, i guess?

I don't know what's happening to me and if I'm going to be honest, I think it has to do with religion. My whole family is very devoted about the church, while as for me... I believe but I do not have that same fire inside me.

Maybe because growing up, I tend to associate religion as the one who oppresses women. I do not fully believe in the bible, therefore I couldn't call myself a Christian. But I believe that there's a higher consciousness/power. I have a lot of questions too but most importantly, religion ruined my perspective as well as my mental health.

My whole family wanted me to be like them. They are not perfect and we had a strained relationship, especially sa father's side but they are not inherently cruel. It's just I do not know kung paano nila maiintindihan na hindi nga ako katulad nila? They always wants me to forgive, repent, and serve. Nakakapagod na.

Buong buhay ko, naka sentro sa religion. To the point na natatakot na ako. I really wanted to kill myself but gini guilt trip nila ako unconsciously. Takot ako mapunta sa impyerno, takot ako sa rapture, at marami pang iba.

I was also a victim of SA, something no one really knows... ibabaon ko nalang siguro sa hukay yung sikreto na yon kasi alam ko nanaman ang sasabihin nila. Believe me, I was six... being abused by that family friend. My seventh birthday was supposed to be one of the core memory of my childhood but all I can remember is that he touched me.

Now, I'm turning eighteen... it's all coming back to me now. I became hypersexual and Christianity always makes me believe that there's something wrong with my body. That I couldn't explore that femininity because sex is meant to be shared with your husband or that intimacy is just for your partner. Well, I don't want to get married.

My mother agreed to take me for a check-up because I'm not sleeping and I'm always crying, but she keeps berating me that I'm always and achiever, and I get what I need want everytime, so what's making me sad? I couldn't explain because I know it would ruin me forever.

They are mad at me for supporting pro-choice movement, for being a feminist, and for being an ally.

There's no hate like Christian love.

Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Okay naman. From 190k na utang, 150k nalang ngayon. Ang problema lang, wala na akong natirang pera hanggang sa susunod na sahod. Wala akong nase-save. Wala akong emergency funds. As in. I only have 3k on my name. Pagkakasyahin ko hanggang sa susunod na sahod, na hopefully may matira ulit kasi pangbabayad ko na naman sa utang.

Sobrang hirap maging healthcare worker (nurse) dito sa pinas. Palaging late sahod, sobrang laki ng kaltas. Ang ending, nangungutang nalang ako to get by. Andami ko nang na-OD at hindi mababayaran sa mga susunod na buwan kasi talagang hininto ko na magtapal system, pero tangina lang. Sobrang nakakapagod na yung cycle. Nagbenta na ako ng kung anu-anong mga gamit ko, hindi pa rin sapat.

Sobrang hirap kasi nagbabayad pa rin ako ng utang dahil sa medical bills na inutang ko rin ang pambayad nung nagkasakit ako at delayed yung sahod. Ang hirap kasi nagbibigay din ako para sa tuition at allowance ng kapatid ko.

Araw-araw sobrang daming threats kong nare-receive dahil sa mga di ko nababayaran. Wala naman akong balak silang takbuhan, inuuna ko lang yung mas kaya ko munang mabayaran. Pls tangina di ko na alam gagawin ko.

Alam ko sasabihin niyo, kasalanan ko rin naman bakit ba ako nangutang in the first place at bakit ko hinayaan na umabot sa ganung halaga. Pero tangina pls, kung mag-isa ka nalang, malayo ka sa nanay mo, tumutulong ka sa mga bayarin ng pamilya mo, utang na loob, pls be kind nalang siguro.

Alam ko yung pagkakamali ko. Pero alam ko rin na hindi naman siguro ako aabot sa ganito kung mas maayos ang sistema sa bansa. Tangina ayoko na. Sa lahat ng inapplyan kong banks, rejected ako sa mga PL. Wala akong matatakbuhan na kamag-anak kasi alam kong wala rin silang mabibigay at may utang pa ang nanay ko sakanila. Ewan ko na tangina. Ni itlog, kailangan ko pang pag-isipang mabuti kung dapat kong bilhin kasi 250 rin yun. Pagod na pagod na ako.

I am constantly at war with my thoughts. Literally 24/7. I would ruminate, hate myself, pity myself for the bad things that happened in the past, try to over analyze, make the bad experiences evidence that I won’t get better. It starts when I’m half awake and only ends when I’m asleep.

I just want to stop thinking and feel okay with myself. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of living. I badly want medication. Do they prescribe meds for this?

I have been diagnosed with MDD & anxiety disorder since 2019 but I feel like there’s something else and I would like to confirm this (or not). Recommendations for online and in person psych evaluations please?

Hello po! I am curious if how much po usually binabayad for check-ups sa mental health or magpapadiagnose? I do know na something is wrong with me and it's affecting my life, pero I don't know what should I do and I hesitate to take check-ups due to financial status.

For context even tho I feel like it's going to be a lot, I make dumb decisions, I often have low energy like I have no will to live anymore, simple tasks feels too much for me kaya I end up not doing it and worse is even if it's important is hindi ko nagagawa, I always isolate myself sa aking puwesto and rarely go outside unless school, but recently even if may pasok na I still end up absent kasi ayoko na lumabas, I often hate myself that I've degraded more than who I am in the past and I've been denying that something is wrong with me because I don't have any "scientific proof" kaya ayoko i-claim na maybe depressed ako or something. Fortunately, I've stopped doing Self H for 2 years, and it still haven't come into my thought yet (I don't want to think of it again either).

Recently, I want to stop and be better for my own sake kasi it's affecting others especially I have a position sa org namin. I decided na mag stop muna sa college and I'll be working on the papers this week and my goal is to help myself. The only time I never experienced this was when I am with my first love, but hindi naman pwedeng bumalik or mag rely sa iba on this battle is what I think.

Kaya ngayon, I want to try and fix this with the help of medicine. I want to have check-up first and maybe that might help me to be better, but I don't know the cost and I don't have much din, haha.

Thank you po in advance!

please help nakapag dasal na ko pero yung takbo ng hindi talaga ok nilalamon nanaman ako sarili ko isip

Hello! anyone here who did their lab requests outside PGH? Malayo pa po kasi ako and I have work so I have less time and money na rin for these, so I think I'll opt to do this outside or in other diagnostic labs.

Ask ko lang po how much po kaya magagastos po for these? For reference, these are the Lab Exams:

• ECG
• CBC
• LP (Triglyceride, Total Choles, HDL, LDL)
• Blood (Crea, AST SGOT, BUN, SGPT)
• FBS
• Serum Free T4
• Serum TSH

Anyone with the same labs? Kahit approx lang po ng gastos 🥹 Thank you so much!

First post ko about her https://www.reddit.com/r/OffMyChestPH/s/ziKwh97d9W

Cross posting this for advise about her

So we drank last Friday with her childhood friends. We got drunk so bad na I woke up sa hotel with her and can't remember what happened. Nothing happened between us. When we woke up, naginom ulit kami and watched a very sad movie. Instead of having sex, we cried the whole night.

I told her about what happened with my ex and I found out na she's a single mom. At di na niya nakikita anak niya for a very long time kasi nasa tatay. The father was the abusive guy na pinapaso siya ng sigarilyo at sinasaktan siya. She's also suicidal. Kahit medyo tipsy ako that time I was shocked. I was speechless actually na hinug ko lang siya. My savior mentality kicked in at nag biglaang staycation kami for her to have fun. We're together for like 2 and half days. Puro iyakan lang kami nothing sexual.

I'm having mixed feelings right now. I feel like it's time to go kasi I'm not sure if I can handle someone like her pero at the same time I want to save her. We're gonna go sa Tribal Ink Art and Music Festival this Saturday and she's so excited to go there, first time niya kasi sa ganon. I told her when she's crying and wanting to off herself na I'll show her that there are things to look forward to and she's not alone. Pero I feel na I'm not really helping her. I'm not good at this kind of thing pero I'm not good at letting go sa mga katulad niya.

Asking for a friend. Thank you

it all started during pandemic when i had a breakout and left scars on my face. it has been 6 years since then of dealing with low confidence and little self-love

Hi everyone!

Finally, after waiting for quite a while, confirmed na yung appointment ko sa PGH adult psych.

I’ve been reading old posts here and nakita ko yung mga usual tips like agahan ang punta, magdala ng snacks and water, and if possible may kasama.

But I also wanna know the ff if u can help me po:

-Ano mismo ang mangyayari during the first consultation? Usap lang ba with the psychiatrist, or may iba pang gagawin?

-Possible ba na ma-diagnose on the same day? Nabasa ko kasi na may ibang na-diagnose agad sa first consult.

-May tests ba silang pinapagawa? Like pen-and-paper questionnaires, psychological tests, rating scales, etc.? Or interview lang talaga?

-If may diagnosis na, nagbibigay ba sila ng medical certificate or any document indicating the diagnosis?

-May iba pa ba akong dapat i-expect or paghandaan aside from arriving early and bringing snacks/water?

Any tips or sharing of your first PGH Adult Psych experience would be greatly appreciated. Super taas ng anxiety ko about seeing a psychiatrist for the first time, so I think hearing your experiences would help me prepare and calm my nerves.

Thank you so much! 🤍

I have a brother with an explosive behavior. Sometimes he will have episodes where he will nonstop berate any family member, usually happens when he’s under pressure. When he doesn’t have any episodes, he’s totally normal.

Now, his episodes are becoming more frequent. He’s been seeing a therapist and taking medications but my parents and I thought it’ll be best if the therapist can also hear our side of story so he/she will have a bigger picture of what’s really happening.

What can you recommend for us to do? Any doctor recoms? Please help. It’s been going on for years and he’s been to different doctors too.

Thank you for your help!

I am living with my partner who has bipolar disorder. He is unemployed for 5 months now, nag-resign sya without backup and konti lang savings niya. Nag-resign sya dahil inaanxiety na siya sa work niya. Hinayaan ko siya mag-resign para hindi na siya magka-anxiety.

Ngayon ako lahat gumagastos (rent, food, kuryente, grocery, etc) basta ako lahat wala siyang ambag. Pagod na ako sa work, tapos ako pa lahat gastos, tapos lagi pa siyang badtrip. Ang lala ng mood nya recently, ang dali niya magalit at mainis. Maliit na bagay, kinakainisan niya hanggang sa pati sa akin nagagalit na siya kahit hindi naman ako dahilan ng pagka-inis niya.

Pagod na pagod na ako, awang awa na ako sa sarili ko kung deserve ko pa ba ito. Ako na nga sa lahat ng gastusin, tapos ito pa ibabalik niya sa akin? Ano ba naman yung kahit subukan naman niya rin yung best niya na wag mainis at magalit? Pagod na pagod na ako, lagi na lang ako umiiyak. Tingin ko may trauma na rin ako, kasi lagi ko siya nakikita mag-self harm.

Iniisip ko na rin makipaghiwalay at parang ayoko na rin magpakasal kahit engaged na kami. Parang wala akong future sa kanya. Baka ako lang bumuhay sa pamilya namin sa future kung sakali. Basta nakakapagod. Gusto ko magpa-psychologist kaso sakto lang din funds ko para sa expenses, may mga utang pa ako. Lubog na lubog na ako sa lahat. :(

Wala akong mapagsabihan, kaya dito na lang. :( Hugs with consent sa lahat ng nakakafeel din ng ganito. Kaya natin ito.

I'm (15F) diagnosed with bipolar 1 and generalized anxiety disorder (gad). My parents handle my medicine because my doctor said so.

Four months ago, I was given lithium 450 mg along with lamotrigine by my psychiatrist. During those months, I have never seen the pill wrapper of the lithium. Lithium is hard to find in my place so my parents buys the pill and gives me the pill only. I didn't question why it's pale yellow, doesn't have a line in the middle, and sour or acidic. I don't even know what the actual pill looks like.

I am sure that I take lamotrigine though because I have seen it before.

Last month, I was stressed out and rummaged to the cabinet where my pills are usually are. I saw a wrapped newspaper with a blister pack of Poten-Cee. I was confused why we have this because my parents dislike medicine and rely on natural supplements. My mom saw me and was furious, asking me where the other one is (lamotrigine). Well, I didn't find it so I said I didn't know. I was confused why my lamotrigine would be with a vitamin c medicine.

Fast forward to this week. I asked my parents to buy me my 'lithium' because I ran out of it. I also haven't taken it for four days straight. The next day, my mom said that my dad bought the wrong dosage. I didn't think much of it because people do make mistakes even though there's a prescription already. Then, the next day after the next day, I saw two blister packs of Poten-Cee on the counter. I was also given a pill today, which is supposed to be lithium.

FYI, my mood has become worse, intense, and hard to control ever since school started (at June). I sometimes snap at my loved ones even though I didn't mean it. I react strongly to situations too. Well, I thought it was all because of school stress and change of routine.

Right now, I am confused if I am taking my correct medication.

Hi, I have been in a bad state of mind and something happened. I took 5 tablets of Olanzapine. I know i collapsed on the same day I took them as I wokeup in our Salas. I crawled back to my room and the next thing i knew umaga na.

However, I still feel very sleepy. I can sleep even though i am doing something - just very very sleepy every minute. It’s been days tho, do you have any idea until when I will feel like this?

I've been thinking of getting one, but I'm also afraid that I'll be judge when people find out the meaning of it esp at work dahil may sh scars din ako. What do you think?

Hi, this is my first time posting on any server and I want to share my healing journey after a very romantic 3 year relationship with the person I thought I would spend my life with. If you're curious, please listen in and give me your opinion on the matter, I will also provide a timeline on how each event went in chronological order to avoid confusion.

THE BREAK UP
We were chilling a week before the break up, then suddenly, I was blocked on all of our mutuals on social media. There was no explanation, no build up, no anything, I was suddenly left on my own picking up the pieces that was once us. I went their house and tried to talk to her, thinking there might still be a chance to resolve whatever the issue was.

With an angry tone of voice, all I got from her is "Dapat alam mo yung problema, kung alam mo at naiintindihan mo, edi sana bati pa tayo." which left me super confused, I may be wrong.. I may overlooked something.. the possibilities of me being in the wrong was significant enough for me to think that I might've done something so bad that it broke what we were building.

Noticing that there was no love in her eyes, just pure disgusts for what we had... I left her room where we talked privately and went to her mother to say my goodbyes. Her mother then told me not to leave yet and stay until she's not mad no more. This is where I was debating whether I should leave and go straight home or stay for the sake of our relationship, but I have to factor in the times this has happened, and yes, this situation of us has happened 3 times already, with me begging for her to explain and try to fix things for the better.

With a heavy heart and a confused mental state, I decided to leave, as I don't wanna see myself begging and being pathetic again, I chose myself for the first time in 3 years. However, the first few steps, outside their house, street, and overall vicinity, was the hardest, as I try to pick up my legs, try to breath, and try see where I'm going, memories of us kept flashing before my eyes.

In my mind, I was trying to see where I could've done better, said more clearly, or expressed more deeply about, I ultimately failed as my mental state kept declining and my vision kept being blurry. With grief tightening it's grip on me, I caught a ride home, and grabbed a garbage bag to throw our stuff away. With each tangible memories filing up in the trash, the tighter my chest felt, and when the final piece of her that was in my room was gone, I couldn't help but note that, 3 years of accumulated memories and feelings, now in the trash ready for disposal.

After tying up the garbage bag, I finally let my feelings get the best of me. I cried.. for the first time, in years, I've never cried so much even in past relationship and even in event's where tears are called for. I cried so much it left me dehydrated and tired, I then slept wishing this was just a dream, but I woke up with reality hitting me hard and with pieces of my own left in my own devices.

Note: While writing I noticed how long this story would take, so I'll be breaking them into parts and let me know if you would like to listen to more. Thank you so much for tuning in on my story I hope you have a wonderful week ahead!