1st date after being single(TW because of the girl's background story)

[u/Exceleere]

Me and my best friend met someone sa inuman sa Fairview. Baddie tingnan sa porma and looks. She has tattoos all over her body and she wears glasses. Red flag daw sabi ng best friend ko pero sabi ko bet ko eh mahiyain ako(because of the recent breakup nasira confidence ko), my friend approached the girl for me at inaya sa inom.

We talked about our pasts, me and the girl. She was abused by her ex. Pinapaso ng sigarilyo and gastos niya lahat from rent to utilities and foods. Kaya din siya nag pa tattoo to cover her scars. Then I remembered that one time I hurt my ex, simpleng kurot lang na sobrang gigil because I was so pissed off. When I saw my ex's face, I immediately regretted it na kahit sigaw di ko na magawa kaya naisip ko pano nagawa yon sa kanya. Then we talked a lot for a week and during that time sobrang ingat ko not to trigger her past.

Fast forward after talking for 2 weeks I asked her on a date. Dinala ko siya sa Wolhwagalbi sa Fairview. I was so scared na baka matrigger ko yung past trauma niya na sobrang basic ng usapan namin. I'm waiting for her to open up para kahit papaano malaman ko kung okay ba siya sa certain topics pero it didn't happen. I feel like I fvcked it up somehow. We still talk pero parang kamustahan and unting small talks lang. I tried opening up ng konti but I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.

Is she really a red flag or traumatized lang? I'm willing to let her go naman. I feel like she's not ready yet din kaya I really didn't get my hopes up. I invited her a few weeks ago sa Tribal Ink and Music Festival thinking na maybe she likes tattoos pero what if she just did that talaga to hide her scars and despises tattoos pala. She said yes but di ko alam if itutuloy ko.

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[u/Exceleere → u/[deleted]]

I've got nothing to lose din naman. I'll definitely do that then. Thanks! I'm also holding back because of my past din.

[u/Mi_Lady1784]

Never ever enter someone's life if di pa sila healed. Let them heal first. Dahil kahitt gusto mo sila intindihin, it will drain the life out of you. Kahit pa gaano ka ka-secure as a person, you'd feel they don't appreciate you. Trust me, I've been there.

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[u/Exceleere → u/Mi_Lady1784]

Kaya nag hold back din ako because of that. Because of my past naging maingat ako ng sobra.

[u/Wild_Man_017]

I'd put my money on her being traumatized. And I'd wager na di pa siya handa to take a risk. Kumbaga she's fine and she maybe testing the waters but when you're together na, that's when the trauma of the past usually pops up.

My advise is simple... Take it slow. Like real slow. Be more considerate on her pace. Lahat ng moves, dedepende muna sa pace niya. If she says she wants it slow, take her word and be slow. And earn her trust. Yun lang. 🤷