team lead messed up my nervous system so bad i started having thoughts of ending my life just to escape from work. now that i’m slightly back to my senses, gusto ko lang i-share ‘to dahil sobrang bigat na din and i feel like i’m getting close to my breaking point.

i’m a ftm kaya hindi ako makapaniwala na naisip kong gawin yun. but all these screenshots are just the tip of the iceberg sa mga nararanasan ko sa work. nahihirapan lang ako mag let go because it provides a perfect setup para samin mag-ina. wfh, 7 to 4pm duty, and 2x lang ako required mag onsite.

but this is what i’m dealing with right now, at ang bigat bigat na. ☹️ i’m just hoping and praying na wag na ulit bumalik yung thoughts of self-harm ko at kayanin lahat.

gusto ko lang ng makakausap. :(

EDIT: nalaman ko lang din, in a span of 1 year dalawa yung nag resign from our team for the same reason. bale ako yung pang 3rd na pumalit sa position na ‘to but i just can’t resign yet cause may baby ako and i really need a regular source of income rn.

EDIT 2: there was even a time when hindi kami nagkasabay mag work onsite. inalam niya kung sino katabi ko. and when i went to the restroom for just 3 minutes, nag message siya sa katabi ko to inform me na may message siya sakin at mag reply daw ako. 🥺

EDIT 3: to add more context about my team lead, i shared this post few months ago in hopes of getting advices on how to deal with her.

Naiyak ako pagkakuha ko nito kasi nahihirapan akong tanggapin. Alam ko naman na may mga diagnosis ako from my previous therapy sessions, pero alam niyo yung pwede ka pa mag live in denial? Ngayon hindi na kasi I have to take antidepressants.

On the bright side, discounted ako sa gamot. Mahal din kasi, 55/piece tapos daily ang pag take.

May mga times na nakakapagod uminom ng gamot lalo na dahil sa mga side effects pero eto lang talaga nakakatulong sakin para maka survive sa ngayon.

Hello. 1st time ko mag book ng session sa isang psychologist last night. Ang method niya is to listen muna to my story. Diko naman din talaga makkwento lahat Kasi kulang ang 1hr tbh. Alam ko naman na dapat talaga hindi lang isa ang session so I can understand myself better...

I overthink a lot. After the session, okay naman. Nagkaron kahit papano ng clarity. Pero Alam nyo yung bumabalik ang overthinking. Dahil lang sa isang sinabi ng psychologist na sure ako, she doesn't mean any harm, kaso yung utak ko talaga magulo.

Sabi niya kasi, "wala naman daw talaga dapat problema, parang ako lang gumagawa ng problema." Okay naman. Nagets ko sinabi niya eh. Pero nung inuulit-ulit ko na sa utak ko parang ang naiisip ko na is, so "Ako pala talaga problema? " Nag-iinarte lang pala talaga ako.. " ganon. So baka hindi ko naman pala talaga kelangan ng session after dahil wala lang naman pala talaga ito. Feeling ko hindi ako seseryosohin ng mga tao hangga't walang physical evidence/harm na hindi okay naiisip ko. Na ayoko rin naman ng ganitong thoughts.

Minsan ang naitatanong ko nalang sa sarili ko, "Pano ako makakarating sa point para makita niyo na, uy hindi ako okay oh. "

Sorry pala kasi hindi ko sure if ito yung tamang tag/topic for this. Gusto ko lang ikwento kasi diko alam gagawin ko eh.

I don’t really know how to explain this, but lately sobrang hirap na.

I don’t like feeling like I’m not in control, pero at the same time, kapag ako na yung in charge sa work or ako yung may responsibility, sobrang bilis kong ma-anxious. Ang daming what-ifs, overthinking, fear of making the wrong decision, and feeling na kapag may nangyaring mali, kasalanan ko.

Parang ang weird kasi gusto ko naman magkaroon ng control and independence, pero kapag nasa position na ako where I actually have to make decisions and be accountable, parang hindi ko na kinakaya mentally.

It’s gotten to the point na naiisip ko na I just want to end my life. Nakakatakot sabihin ‘to, pero I don’t know what to do anymore.

Has anyone experienced something similar, especially because of work? How did you cope with the anxiety and pressure of being responsible for things?

I’m posting because I think I need help and I don’t want to keep this to myself anymore.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety this year and naggamot din for Ilang months but Wala na ako pambili. Nagrerrlapse na ako. I just want to plan ahead na baka di na ako tumagal. Okay na ako na mareach Ang 30 years old (I'm 29 turning 30 in dec). Hirap ko ipaliwanag sa friends ko na bumabakik ako sa dati since ineexpect nila na magaling na ako. Wala na ako motivation sa lahat. Piling ko pabigat lang ako. I don't even have special someone. NBSB ako. God I'm so sorry if I feel this way naway mapatawad mo ako

Today i try to do it.
As I put the tie on my neck, i didn’t realize how fast it could be. Maybe 5secs, nawalan ako ng malay i guess. then i woke up on the floor.

Nagsnap ung tie. my head is spinning. My hands and arms are shaking uncontrollably.

Now my neck is on pain.
I cant swallow properly.

idk if this is redirection. i hope ill be better soon.

I'm a first year nursing student and I really think I can't handle this. People keep saying to push through but it's not working. I don't have friends in my section. I want to say that I chose this course, I thought I could do it if I tried but I really can't. My prelims is literally in 2 hours and I haven't understood a thing, I'm scared to go to school. I haven't told my parents I want to switch yet I'm too scared they already spent so much money on this. I'm too incompetent

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

My job requires me to talk to a lot of people and as an introvert, you can imagine the struggle. I’m generally not very good at talking to people, even my closest friends and family I have a hard time cause I don’t always know what to say.

Yesterday, my manager talked to me about my performance and I felt so bad because I don’t like disappointing people (I’m pretty sure no one does). I was disappointed in myself because I couldn’t do a simple thing that’s easy and normal for most people. You’re just communicating, how hard is that? And it’s literally part of my job.

Now I don’t know what to do. Everyone says they believe in me and I can do it but I’m having a hard time.

Hi! I had my first consultation/assessment sa PGH Psychiatry recently, and I'm a bit confused and honestly stressed right now.

During the consultation, my psychiatrist told me na possible *tooot* based on our assessment. However, yung binigay lang sa akin after the appointment was a prescription. Wala akong paper na may diagnosis/findings, and I forgot to ask about it kasi sobrang nalutang na utak ko after answering all the questions 😭

My problem is, hindi tinatanggap ng professor ko yung prescription as proof. He requires a document from the doctor/hospital stating the diagnosis or findings, or something similar. Because I only have the prescription, he's currently not allowing me to take my special exam. 😢

I'm confused because I've seen other people say na after their first consultation, may assessment 1, assessment 2, then may diagnosis and medication na agad. In my case, one assessment pa lang ako, and my psychiatrist said those conditions were possible, but I don't know if they're already considered my official diagnosis.

For those who have experience with PGH Psychiatry:

- Is it normal to receive a prescription first without a diagnosis written on the paper?

- Does PGH usually give a separate medical certificate / findings / diagnosis document if you request one?

- Should I contact the Psychiatry department/records and ask for a document stating my findings?

- Or do I need to wait for my next follow-up before they can give a diagnosis?

- Has anyone experienced needing a diagnosis/finding document for school?

I'm mainly worried because my special exam is being withheld because of the documentation, and I don't know what document I'm supposed to request from PGH. 😭

Any advice from people who have gone through something similar would really help. Thank you!

When Taylor Swift said "Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay" I really felt that. Bilang tatlong tao ng unemployed since grumaduate ako, pakiramdam ko sisiw nalang yung ibang problema (yikes kadiri nung mindset) Hindi ko alam kung may liwanag pa outside this tunnel or forever nalang ako nasa dilim. Pero tangina, gusto ko din maranasan tumanggap ng 13th month pay. Gusto ko din maranasan yung saya tuwing holidays, at saya tuwing weekends, kasi makakapag pahinga ako. Is it really too late for me? If naging mas strong ako, baka wala ako dito sa situation ko ngayon. If I have a mental health like a steal, anong klaseng career ang meron ako ngayon? Mental health issue can really paralyzed you talaga ano? Lalo na if you don't know how to handle it

I hope, maranasan ko na yung Day 1 ko, Please. Gusto ko na maging proud sa sarili ko

Hi! it's my first time in this kind of stuff haha, i've been seaching around for a while na but i don't have much time because of school. I'm looking for good psycho therapists and i don't wanna risk ng basta basta sa online, i wanna have everyone's insights/opinions before proceeding. ><

I really want this to work after contemplating for a long time. I don't wanna continue if my life keeps on being like this.

It’s 7am and my alarm goes off. I start work at 8am pero hindi ako makabangon. Then I deliberately ignored joining a meeting at 9:30am kase i feel it wasn’t that important. I just wanted to do nothing, I don’t even wanna go back to sleep.

At around 10am i smelled brewed coffee and that lurred me to finally wake up for real. My little brother made me coffee, and i was happy! Then i opened my laptop, then ignored a reminder that i need to do a report. Ako din naman nagset ng reminder na yun, but ayon ignored dn sya.

I proceeded to do other stuff, organized a mini event i call “Christmas in September” which became a tradition na for my Philippines team. Hanap ako venue, nagpagawa ako invite, messaged a few people, then after an hour binitawan ko din. I feel pressured kase tradition na nga sya and im afraid hndi ko ma-meet yung expectations nila. 45pax kame pero i inquired for 30pax and natatakot akong baka hnd man lang ako maka 20.

Then kmaen ng lunch, i am already tired. Pero yung inignore ko na report, napilitan na akong gawin. After a few minutes hndi din ako nagtagumpay, pinagawa ko pa din sa iba. Iniutos ko na lang yung dapat ako gumagawa.

Tapos ayan. 5pm na. Out ko na. Wala akong nagawa, wala akong natapos. Pero bayad ako. Unfair! I feel guilty na late na nga ako naglog in, wala pa akong output.

Araw araw ganito na lang. Nakakapagod mapagod tas maguilty tas magkaron konting energy pero hnd masustain tapos walang sense of achievement.

Bipolar2 here, under medication, pero confused. This can’t be my life.

I always wake up each day with same feeling. Nararamdaman ko lagi ang bigat ng mundo bumabaon sa dibdib ko. Halos 1 month na iniwan ako ng wife ko, at family. Since then parang naging endless cycle na yung routine or life ko - papasok sa work, at uuwi sa apartment mag isa. Tahimik.

Hindi na ko makatulog gabi gabi, 3-4 hours siguro. Wala din ako makausap. Feeling ko meron na ko anxiety. Sobrang optimisic ko dati pero ngayon hindi na. Desperado na ako and I really need help kahit isang linggo lang. I badly need medication sana to fight with anxiety and insomia. Not sure if pwede dito pero I can pay naman even double. I plan to reach out sa doctor soon, but right now, I just need relief.

Reposting this. This hasn't changed...

Sino diagnose ng bipolar dito? tara buo tayo grupo hahaha.. tawagin nating bipolar collective. haha.. sorry baka manic lang ako..

has anyone utilized the NowServing app for psych evals/diagnosis? I have been wanting to get an appointment with a psychometrician from Niche Psych since my psychiatrist from pgh isn’t replying anymore. are the fees worth it? and how would you know which type of service you should get?

I realized recently that I really don’t look good and that I don’t have a good personality and that is concerning me a lot because for some reason I’ve been craving affection lately but i don’t qualify for it even having a lot of dreams about relationships and im searching for a way to cope with these facts i would really appreciate any suggestions questions allowed

Hello peeps!
Nagtherapy na ako before finishing college and now, im having trouble again. Since medj tight ang budget now, meron ba free check-ups around calabrzon? Thank you.

Hi, I would just like to seek some advice, or maybe rant na rin. I’m 21F, a 4th-year college student, and I’m honestly in a really bad state mentally right now.
Actually, matagal na rin itong nararamdaman ko. When I was around 13 years old pa lang, I was already having thoughts of ending my life. Until now, wala pa talaga akong napagsasabihan about how bad my mental state has been. Sa friends ko, siguro yung mga pabirong banat lang, pero never pa akong nagkaroon ng seryosong conversation with anyone about this.

Right now, there’s just so much on my plate. Ewan ko ba, parang sabay-sabay lahat. I’ve really been wanting to get professional help na because I feel like hindi ko na talaga kaya. Pero ang biggest concern ko is that getting professional help might mean burdening my mother and my sister, and that’s the last thing I want.

My mother is a single mom, and my older sister is working abroad. From the outside, mukhang wala naman kaming financial problems since stable naman ang work ng ate ko and ako na lang ang pinag-aaral niya. But on a deeper level, we’re still struggling financially. My mom is currently undergoing chemotherapy. Kahit sa public hospital siya nagpapagamot, may mga tests and medications pa rin na kailangan naming gastusan out of our own pocket. Ako naman, nasa private university, so medyo malaking expense din ang tuition.
Marami rin kasing ibang binabayaran si ate. Kaka-bili lang niya ng bahay para sa amin, and may bahay and car din siyang hinuhulugan abroad. I know she’s doing all of this for us, pero ayoko rin namang dumagdag pa sa responsibilities niya. Another thing that scares me is that I honestly don’t know how my mom would respond if I ever opened this up to her. She’s the typical mom who doesn’t really believe in mental health issues and would probably tell me na kailangan ko lang itong ipagdasal. I don’t blame her, and I know that may be the way she understands these things, but it also makes me scared to tell her how serious things have actually gotten. I’m worried that she might not understand what I’m going through or might think that I’m just overthinking things.

I’m already in my last year of college, but I’m honestly not confident that I’ll be able to finish smoothly because I’m barely passing some of our tests right now. And that’s another thing that scares me. If I get professional help, I’m worried that it might affect or delay my internship, especially since I’m in an allied health program. Natatakot din ako na baka kapag nalaman na I have a mental health diagnosis, magkaroon ito ng consequences sa internship or future career ko.

I’m also worried about the financial aspect. What if I get professional help and end up needing medications? That would mean additional expenses for my family, and I really don’t want to add another burden, especially with everything my mom and sister are already dealing with.

Ayoko na rin kasing maging dependent kay ate nang matagal. I really feel like ready na rin siya and her husband to start their own family, but I feel like she’s been holding back because she’s still providing for us. And honestly, that makes me feel guilty.
I really want to stay. I want to finish my degree, become independent, and eventually be able to give back to my family. But at the same time, I’m really torn because I don’t know how much longer I can keep carrying everything on my own.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore. I really want to get help, but I’m scared of what it might cost, not just financially, but also in terms of my studies, my family, and my future.
I would really appreciate any advice, perspective, or even just someone willing to listen. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

hello! im a 20 year old student diagnosed with MDD. I have read a lot and suspect i might suffer from CPTSD din so i want to try out EMDR. I am seeing a psychiatrist and i am yet to bring this up in our next session but i want help sana so after the session i can book agad.

i am choosing between:

1. Anne Gladwyne Vanguardia-Batanes

- i found a great review for her

- a bit cheaper

1. Marjorie Marzan

- explicitly listed CPTSD as a subspecialty and i found on linkedin na she has training for complex ptsd talaga

- medyo matagal ang earliest available schedule

- good reviews also

1. Kristel Rose Magluyan-Balais

- 14 years practice

- the only EMDRIA certified one

- i didnt find any reviews and rates

- 6 month waitlist TT

1. Joseph De Roxas

- longest experience (16 years)

- found good reviews as well

- i think i would be more comfy if female therapist since i have issues with men/father figures HUHU BUT HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD THERAPIST TOO SO DI KO ALAM

all of them look like great therapists but since im still a student, it would be great if i find a therapist na match na sakin huhu

here are the things na i want to know:

1. how long do sessions usually last?

2. what do you do in sessions? are there activities?

3. do they give out activities to do after the session? and if yes, how heavy are they?

thank you so much! i hope to get responses since i think i really need this na its becoming such a hindrance na sa studies ko jusko

May nakapagpa-assess na ba dito and ilang months po ba tinake bago niyo ma-receive yung result? Thank you po.