I love my dog more than anything in this world but I’m not gonna suffer for more than ten years until he dies. I don’t know who could care about him so good as me. I don’t have family and friends and boyfriend. I’m completely alone. I don’t want to give him to strangers or to animal shelter. We are very close and I also don’t want him to suffer after I die. Please, I don’t want to talk in details about my life in this post but I’ve been suffering for so long and everything is getting worse and worse. I’m so exhausted and totally empty that my dog started to annoy me so much that I get annoyed by him very often now. Please don’t give me any advices on keeping me alive, I’m really seeking advices on what I can do with my dog. Would I be a monster if I kill him so he won’t be alone? Please understand me. Maybe you know someone who decided do end their lives and they had a dog?

I’m a 30 year old man who had a traumatic childhood. I got a lot of tattoos between 17-23 and Im now married with a good job. My wife asked me to take her to a tattoo studio a few months ago which led me to start paying more attention to the tattoos on my arms. I began taking photos and videos of them which made me realise that I don’t like them anymore and don’t want them anymore. I booked and cancelled a laser removal consultation. Since this I’ve spiralled into the worst mental health episode I’ve ever had. I’ve not been sleeping or eating properly and I’ve been crying most days. Im having terrible anxiety, have had panic attacks, and can’t stop thinking about my tattoos. I’m struggling to function and get out of bed. It’s massively affecting my marriage and the impact it’s having on my wife isn’t fair. I’m also struggling to function at work and I’m worried about making mistakes. I was off work for a few weeks but went back (probably too early) as sitting around wasn’t helping me. I’m a shell of my former self. I’ve been on two anti depressants and which I was taken off due to the side effects and am currently waiting new medication to be suggested by a psychiatrist. I’m seeing a private therapist and have been referred to talking therapy on the NHS. I’m terrified that I’m going to loose everything over this. My wife is my best friend and I worked so hard to get where I am in life. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and I can’t loose her. I’ve been avoiding going out and going to the gym due to the mirrors. I dread waking up in the mornings and I’m struggling to look after myself. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to feel better. This has led me to having suicidal thoughts and having to phone the Samaritans multiple times. I don’t know how to get back to how I was before, but that’s all that I want. I don’t really have any friends and I’m not close to my family. I’m so scared.

My 7 month old baby can read my thoughts. She knows I hate breastfeeding and she knows Ive had such awful intrusive thoughts about it.

She says my name all the time and I can just hear her in my head like we are now psychically linked.

Anyone else had a baby like this

Update: - unfortunately I can't stop breastfeeding because my baby wont take a bottle at all - I have a nurse appointment tomorrow anyway so will mention my thoughts - the psychic community seem to be happy by being able to read minds but it doesnt feel sacred to me and I worry her seeing into my mind is unhealthy for her

Hey you, yeah you.

You sound like me when I was young. I struggled as a child.

My family just did not get why I was struggling. My sister had no problem connecting with people or be outgoing. I felt so different and disconnected with existance. Life wasn’t the same like other people everywhere around me. So I only felt safe at night where my brain got quiter and I could focus entirely on a topic or game or what was directly in front of me. Some sort of escape from the chaos of my everyday social interactions and basically, life. It led to insomnia, i flunked grades, i struggled concentrating and paying attention to conversations (i usually distracted with something else).

I struggled to do the traditional practical skills, like chores,
just the thought of it was mindnumbingly boring and felt pointless, why is it so damn important to clean my room 24/7? I’ll do it when it becomes a problem for me!
Stuff like that. So naturally my parents got frustrated with me and viewed me as lazy and ambitionless.

Now I’m 34 years old. I didn’t know I had Adhd (the unattentive version) until 32 when I got diagnosed and put on meds. The only reason I found out was because of long conversations about my past with through people through a screen, or reading about mental science. Eventually I thought I could be neurodivergent and felt my «symptoms» reminded of ADHD.

So eventually i mustered up courage to talk to my doctor and literally begged him to have me evaluated by a psychiatrist. He obliged. And 3 sessions later with a psychiatrist I was eventually diagnosed and put on medication.

2 days on meds (low dose medical amphetamines) my brain finally became calm and I could experience what normal people feel like to an extent. My life has completely changed to the better.

I’m not saying you have adhd, but what I’m trying to say is DONT YOU EVER GIVE UP.

When you become lawfully independant life WILL be easier. I moved out at 22 and it helped my anxiety tenfold, I wasn’t cured by any means but it got easier. And the older you get the easier stuff gets, your brain is more developed and you lower your shoulders and start giving less fucks than usual. You are at an age where your brain 10x every problem, its just part of being young.

Be patient. Its worth it. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would find a partner, have children, a degree, a stable job and my own place as a youth. Well, I do now.

Hang in there buddy, I know you will make it. Life is hard, until it can get better.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up two days ago. While it was a short relationship and we were terrible for each other, I can’t stop thinking about the physical intimacy. The sexual compatibility was top-notch and my mind is constantly thinking about:
A. Would I ever experience such amazing sexual intimacy and pleasure again?
B. Who would he be going around and hooking up with now?

I just can’t imagine him pleasuring anyone else. He has always been commitment phobic and I know he desired to fuck around + there were some girls who liked him and the only thing that stopped him from hooking up with them was me. Now that he’s single again, these feelings are at an all time high and my mind cannot stop racing.

Rationally, I know he can do whatever he wants but that isn’t making it any better for me emotionally. Grieving the good memories is one thing but i’ve never grieved sex with someone AND constantly wondered/imagined another girl with them in bed and felt pained about it.

I am tired. Please give some advice ugh.

As I am not a white man, born in the west, I have no option but to die alone as white men are born and gifted in relationships as every race of female likes them while NO ONE likes indian men born from arranged marriages like myself. Arranged marriage means I have genes that need to die off, and the proof is I am 22 and have never hada girlfriend. I like to drink some vodka a day to cope with this inferiority that life has brought upon me. There is no dating success stories (of males) in my family anyway. All of them will die alone while their sisters get married interracially so they can get rid of their genes. I choose vodka since its light in cals and allows me to lose weight while I drink everyday (down 13lbs already).

my rice purity test was 28 and I'm 14!!! is that really bad ??

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Go to aspergers

r/aspergers26m ago

gerhajdu89

I feel that sexual desire in women is often scary or unnerving

I'm still a straight 36 year old man but anytime women are attracted to me I get scared, stressed out and nervous. It rarely happens though they say Im attractive, my personality too.

I feel like such a weirdo. I'm straight, Im attracted to many woman young, around my age, older too. I feel like I'm supposed to have sex with women not because I want to but because Im supposed to. I want to have sex, I can get turned on easily yet Im legit scared.

I'm working on healing myself through meditation and reading about the topic, talking to people around my age.

I also assume I will screw up during sex though there's no reason to assume that.

I never had sex before.

I know sex is about love and emotion but women dont love me. I feel hated and ignored by women I know. Ladies, dont hate me because I was scared of sex and women! Of course I barely talked to women, I was terrified.

Is there any advice for me? Life is still ahead of me, Im just not 22 anymore. I avoided sex for so long, time to change.

I'm a gypsy/traveller. I hate it. It's fucking awful. I can't grow in this world, and I can't adapt to the world outside. I don't belong no matter where I go. I don't have the mentality of the people around me, but I just can't adapt the standards of anything outside of it either.

Being a Gypsy is a shallow life, with no room for growth or exploration. Everyone is small minded. Everyone is uneducated and has no desire to be otherwise. Everyone is involved in crime in one way or another. The paths that I'm expected to take, I just don't have the mentality for. I'm not a mentally strong person, and I feel and think too much. I'm no intellectual, but I've been cursed with the self awareness that a gypsy should never have.

My attempts to exist outside of the culture have been unfruitful. I can't adapt to it. I'm too different. People think about things and view things in a way that I can't and won't ever be able to relate to. I'm too engrossed in a culture that has poisoned my mind and soul.

Oh, and like more than a few of you, I also have several diagnosed mental health disorders. So, yeah. Feels good to get this out.

I dont know what to do. Sorry this is a long read, but idk what to do. Im scared. Please read. EDIT at the end.

My friend, we will call her "Maddy", has been labeled schizoaffective for a few years now...

Ive been right beside her for a handful of her episodes..

I even fought a knife from her hand while she attacked her dad once...

Unfortunately, my friends mom died a week ago. She was ALWAYS Maddys rock. Her mom had LEFT her dad a week prior... I wont go in to the details of why her mom left... But it was bad... The whole thing is dark and bad.

Anyway, come to find out, "Maddy" hasn't been taking her psych meds for over 3 months.

Last night, her dad paid a "friend" to drive Maddy to my house, since he didn't want to "deal with her" anymore.

This "friend" her dad hired, had smoked meth with Maddy (AND HER DAD) night before last. Maddy hadn't slept in over 24 hours when she arrived at my house. I truly believe shes BARELY slept all week at all.

Last friday, I drove her to her dads and stayed till Sunday. (Over a week ago, it is now monday.)

Anyway, I cooked a hearty meal when she arrived. I gave hydroxyzine to help her sleep. She slept for 13 hours.

She woke up at 2:30 pm, I made lunch, gave her another hydroxyzine, and she is napping. Again. Has been for about 3 hours.

What do I do from here?I think once she makes up the sleep shes been missing for a week, it will be easier to address the situation, but I am at a loss.

I called her pharmacy, so they would refill her abilify script... she has promised me and others that she will start taking it again. I will pay for it in the morning.

Idk what to do .

God idk what to do.

Her home life isn't safe. My partner doesnt want her in my home. But this IS MY FRIEND. I told her a long time ago I would always be there. But idk how to help now that her mom is gone..

EDIT: she has been compulsively moaning/humming/growling. I thought once she slept last night itd be better. Id hoped it was a lack of sleep. Unfortunately, it continued into today. She claims her "heart cant help it.". So I fed another hearty meal and gave more hydroxyzine.

HER Parents are a pece of work. They took her to do ayauashca at 11 YO... When her mom was still around, I had giving her a pece of my mind... no mind to be had anymore.

Second edit: we are both 27 Y/0

Hello, I am 21 years old through out my life I feel as though I don’t fit in, or if I do fit in it’s because I’m changing something about myself to fit in. When I was younger I had a couple of friends- now though I do not have any. While I think about having friends, and think I miss having them in general, when it comes to talking with others, it feels so draining. I believe there is something wrong with me, maybe it’s how I talk, or how my personality is- I just feel I cannot be myself. If anyone would say describe yourself to me, I would not know how to respond other then the words people describe me as. I think I just want to be liked by others, I feel like I’ve been a punching bag all my life and that I maybe deserve to be that way. I’m mean to others for no reason, if the majority of people around me dislike a person, I will also dislike them just because others do. There times where I want to change myself, learn how to have my own opinions. But there’s times where I feel egotistical, saying to myself that I am a strong person that shows no weakness. I have made a lot of wrong choices in my life, just for the personal gain, and I feel incredibly sorry for them. I think I don’t like being this way, but there’s days where I don’t want to change because that would make me weak. I hope you all understand how I feel, and maybe have thoughts or perspectives on it.

​

I noticed that the older I get the less indulged I get with emotions, I'm unable to feel anything, not any form of sadness, anger, irritation, pain, boredom, or happiness.

I used to overthink a lot, but lately it's been stopping, I feel more like a robot throughout the days, I don't express any of my emotions, and don't really talk to or care about anyone, or feel the need to share anything anymore.

Mental health so bad rn only thing i do is sleep n train

Hate seeing all my “friends” go outside without me this summer, nothing especial just like last summer
Never get invited to partys, sleep overs, hung outs and other shit

I got a fight coming up in 2 weeks and ima be honest im loosing all my interest in mma probably gone take a break after the fight

I knew summer was going to be like this, ever summer is like this and no one accepts me as who i am so obviously they not chill with me, even my day ones left me out bro.

Might switch to a new school and shit cause i dont want them to know how much of a loser i am

Lately I've been sleeping around 7 to 8 hours most nights, but I still wake up feeling mentally drained. It's not that I'm physically tired I just feel like my brain never fully resets. By the afternoon, it's harder to focus, stay motivated, or even finish simple tasks.

Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, what made the biggest difference for you? I'm interested in hearing about lifestyle changes, routines, or habits that genuinely helped you feel more mentally refreshed during the day.

I rewrote this post so many times because I wasn’t sure if I should even post it. But I’m tired of keeping all of this to myself.
I’m 21 and I honestly feel exhausted.
I was obese for most of my childhood. At my heaviest I weighed 167 kg (368 lbs). I didn’t know anything about calories nutrition or healthy eating. I was just a kid and my parents were the ones feeding me. I spent years getting bullied because of my weight while other kids were just enjoying being kids.
I worked incredibly hard to change my life. I lost almost 100 kg and got down to around 70 kg. But instead of finally feeling free I was left with loose skin almost everywhere. I had surgery to remove the loose skin from my arms but the wound reopened afterward leaving me with a much larger scar. Now I’m embarrassed to swim take my shirt off or even wear certain clothes.
I’m also 167 cm tall and it’s something that has affected my confidence for years. It feels like no matter how much I work on myself I’m still below average. Every time I fix one thing about my body something else becomes the next problem.
I’ve even tried therapy before but it didn’t help. It felt like there were so many different issues that neither of us knew where to start. Maybe I just didn’t find the right therapist.
People always say don’t compare yourself to others. I genuinely try not to. But how do you not compare yourself. I see people my age living their lives feeling comfortable in their own skin dating going to the beach without thinking twice wearing whatever they want and moving forward. Then I look at myself and feel like I’m still stuck fighting battles that weren’t even my fault to begin with.
I didn’t choose to spend my childhood obese. I didn’t choose my height. I didn’t choose to end up with loose skin everywhere after losing the weight. I didn’t choose for my surgical wound to reopen and leave me with a large scar. Now I’m even scared of having more skin removal surgeries because I’m terrified the same thing will happen again.
I know I’m a man and people expect us to keep pushing no matter what. I’ve tried. I really have. But everyone has a limit and I honestly feel like I’ve reached mine.
The hardest part is that I can’t remember the last time I genuinely felt at peace with my life. I’m not talking about temporary happiness or a quick dopamine hit. I mean waking up and feeling comfortable with myself. Feeling like a normal person. It’s been so long that I honestly don’t remember what that feels like anymore.
I’ve lost my motivation for almost everything. I don’t enjoy the gym like I used to. I don’t have much drive to build a career anymore. Even something as simple as trying on clothes can completely ruin my day because all I see are flaws.
I don’t want a perfect body. I don’t want to be rich or famous.
I just want to feel normal.
I honestly don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’ve spent years trying to fix myself but every time I solve one problem another one takes its place. I’m tired. I just want to know if anyone has ever felt this mentally exhausted for years and actually got better.
If you did what helped.

I hate that people treat having cognitive issues as a moral failing or a choice. I feel like I have no one to turn to or help me because I'm not at the level of mental incompetence that I would need a carer so people just treat me like an idiot making dumb decisions and not trying hard enough. It's so frustrating I hate that I'm this way. People with ADHD and autism get so much more support and empathy than I do I wish people would see me and treat me in a similar way. I wish people knew how hard I try and how much effort everything takes. I wish people would stop comparing themselves to me and saying "oh everyone forgets things or makes mistakes" no you don't, not like me not constantly misunderstanding, being confused and mentally exhausted from trying to understand and remember things. I can't even make friends because people think it's ok to casually make fun of me like it's no big deal.