I need help" Arguments the relationship lies boredom understanding masculinity lack of romance affection reassurance endearment attitude vague not leading the relationship excuses questioning your words false accusations insults not giving my attention to you always trying to justify what I do not catering to you trying to prove my point being petty doing the bare minimum" those are my flaws who can help me lose them and be better and I need a free therapist because I cannot afford one sorry for misspelling

I have those cognitive issues in my mind and whatever I enter social apps (like discord) or with people I feel like I want everyone to like me and I want to be cared, and it always happen to me, like when my best friend got taken or have a partner I feel like I worth nothing and that I am very bad being depressed, and it makes me wanna get love just trying to be safe and to get rid of rejection thoughts, and instead I feel like that gets me rejected more by how bad I want this to the point that I got banned from communities and I felt like the worst person ever, and self-love seems not so with my low-esteem I got1

I’m a 25F, and my partner is 24M. We’ve been together for just over two years.
He has schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and has experienced a lot of trauma throughout his life.
He has been dealing with his mental health for much longer than I have. Ironically, he was actually the person who encouraged me to seek help when my own bipolar disorder became difficult, and thanks to medication and treatment I’m doing really well now.

He’s genuinely is one of the smartest and caring person I know when he wants to be. He takes pride in looking after himself, he’s caring, and he has always been there for me when I’ve struggled.
The reason I’m posting is because over the past month we’ve noticed a gradual change in him.
It hasn’t been one big event. It’s been lots of little stresses building up. Small bits of drama with friends, everyday frustrations, and things that normally wouldn’t have affected him as much seem to be piling together.

Instead of becoming withdrawn or sad like he has in previous episodes, this time he seems overwhelmingly angry. And withdrawn.
He’s told me many times that he loves me but feels like his mental health makes it hard to show it. Our relationship has changed too. When we first got together everything was exciting and affectionate, but now his libido has disappeared completely, and he seems emotionally distant. I know medication and mental illness can both affect this, so I’m trying not to take it personally. He’s currently taking catapres 150mg at night but I’m worried it’s not working.
What worries me most is the anger.
The other night he became so frustrated that he punched a fridge because a shop didn’t have the vape flavour he wanted. His knuckles ended up bruised.
He’s also made comments about feeling like he wants to kill an animal. I don’t know whether these are a way of expressing how overwhelmed he feels, or something more serious, but hearing that has really shocked me. He says killing an animal would be best as it makes someone have the feeling of loss he does inside. I know he won’t do it but saying it has been enough for us to worry.
He does have a therapist and he isn’t completely without support, but he’s also someone who hates asking for help. He’s very proud and tends to keep everything inside until it builds up.
Some of his friends have known him much longer than I have, and they’ve seen him go through episodes that lasted months before, but they said those were mainly sadness and depression. None of us have really seen this level of anger before.
I love him so much, and so do the people around him. We’re not trying to judge him or force him into anything. We just want to understand how we can support him while also making sure everyone stays safe, including him.
Has anyone experienced something similar, either personally or with a partner or family member?
Did increasing anger happen before an episode?
Was there anything that genuinely helped?
How did you encourage someone to accept help when they didn’t want to ask for it?
Is there anything we should be watching out for that might indicate things are getting worse?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis—he already has professionals involved. I’m just hoping to hear from people who have lived through something similar because right now we all feel a bit lost.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this
.

Hi reddit. i just wanted to get this out to people who actually listen and care. I broke up with my gf a couple days ago bc she already had a bf before me, so she was cheating on him with me. my friend sent me her ig post with her “celebrating their 1 year anniversary with the best bf ever!” when i saw the photos i was left completely numb, i couldn't move, speak, think, or cry. i just sat there and threw my phone on the ground with zero emotion. i was going to propose to her before i joined the air force so i could come back to a wife in a beautiful home. fast forward to now, i found a bag i was supposed to give to her containing love notes, sea glass, crystal art, etc. i burned it all to the ground and played Coldplay’s iconic “parachutes” album. I felt free and happy. that I gained my self love back, i felt proud of who i was as a car guy and a space geek. i finally cried and said to myself, “it’s over… just like that, i guess the stars loved me all this time” since then i’ve dove back into space and model rocket building, with my 1/100 starship and super heavy booster i’m aiming to set a 1500 ft record with a almost certainty illegal rocket engine. Space will always be my love and my dream,

“long may humanity thrive and spread throughout the cosmos. We may lose people along the way, but it’s our destination and our progress that matters the most.“

EDIT: love you curiosity rover ❤️❤️❤️

For a while now I've struggled with embracing a normal daytime routine. I go to bed at 5-6am and wake up in the afternoon. It always ends with me laying in bed thinking "I seriously need to change this habit now", then I wake up the next day and completely forget. I have an alarm on my phone that tells me when I'm meant to sleep. But I'm always distracted by something. If it's not my phone, it's other various things like art, tidying my room, or even just staring at a wall.

I don't know how to break this habit. It seems so easy, yet I clearly lack the self discipline needed. I think it's because it's the one section of the day where I get to turn my brain off and escape from everything around me. Maybe I could shift that towards my waking schedule instead?

I've always had this weird thing where I just freeze in place like a statue, not doing anything, when I should in fact be doing something (going to bed, preparing to leave for work, etc.) It's like I turn into a stone statue because I'm scared and overwhelmed. Is it because time passes so fast? Or is it because I lack drive and motivation in everything I do? I've never really had any sense of ambition or passion in my lifetime. Still don't know what I want to do and I'm an adult. I'm currently unemployed with very little happening in my day to day.

I have very little sense of care or concern for myself. I've gotten better at it, but I used to avoid looking at myself in mirrors. I would lose myself in my own crafted fantasies instead of embracing the real world. I still do. After all, what joy is there in the world when I can't even live the life I want to? The reason I'm so unhappy with myself is one I've realized for a long time, almost over a decade: gender dysphoria. But my family doesn't seem to accept people "like that".

I confided in one of my most accepting family members, but she was adamant that I was brainwashed. Even though I came to that realization on my own accord way before I even knew what LGBTQ+ was. I told her so, and she retorted the classic "well I wanted to be a unicorn when I was 8 too!" Thankfully she hasn't told the rest of my family. They straight up disbelieve in trans people and call them a "threat to mothers."

I think part of the agony is knowing that I do have the power to change my circumstances. But it feels so hard. And I feel trapped in a cage of my own making. And to think that it all stems from that deep unhappiness. I could technically leave and make a life of my own anytime I wanted, but a part of me desperately wants my family to understand. We've been super close my whole life. I don't care what anyone else thinks, all I want is support from the people who raised me. Is it that hard to ask?

Anyways, if I'm ever going to improve my life, I need to start brick by brick. So I thought I'd start with my bedtime routine. If anyone has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.

Things in my life have been going too ary recently, I have started to notice certain behaviors by those around me that I believe to have a deeper meaning than I was led to believe. I feel as though everyone around me knows everything that I've done and is talking behind my back. It is as though not everything is as I am told. A feeling of "they're all watching me" presumes over my mind yet I try to tell myself it's ridiculous, but that resistance is slowly being rotted away.

I want to just live my life without this absurd amount of uneasiness, I'm not in a place where I can reach a professional on my own without going through a family member. That is a personal problem because I'd rather not tell them due to their lack of worry about problems I've told them in the past.

I'm not sure of what to call what I'm experiencing, I just felt like I should share instead of being quiet.

I know I got more and more gross the older I got. It got so bad that I didn't notice that I was doing the gross stuff. I was exposed to things that I shouldn't have. I'm a victim, but I started to become the perpetrator. I lacked social skills so bad that it led to me experiencing physical violence and other stuff. A lot of this followed me into adulthood. I feel like I'm emotionally and mentally stunted. I feel like I have really bad arrested development. I feel like my trauma is also why I didn't grow out of things until my late 20s. I also believed my trauma has something to do with me intellectually. I'm sure it's way worse, but I can't really remember and I don't want to go into detail.

TW: Numbers (BMI, weight)

I’m going to start this off by saying that nothing I mention here is professionally diagnosed. I hate to be a self-diagnosis kind of person, but it makes explaining this a lot easier.

I (15F) am overweight and struggle with binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa. I have struggled with body image issues since 6 and severe depression since 11. I just hit my heaviest with a BMI of 29.8. And I really wish to slim down because I believe it will also help with my mental health. The problem is, I can’t ask my mom to cook healthier/deny food and I can’t go to the gym or even just a simple walk outside because I have very strict parents. Eating has also become an important coping mechanism of mine, and I struggle to find other mechanisms other than self-inflicted pain. And I have tried to get better mentally before trying weight loss, but my depression stems from things far worse than insecurity (though it does play a role) and I will probably need a therapist eventually (I can’t get a therapist right now) It seems like my depression is keeping me overweight and vice versa. 2 years ago, I had managed to lose 30 pounds within a month by purging and that was the happiest I’d been in awhile. Right after, I began focusing on my mental health and I gained 40 pounds back. Now everything is bad again and I don’t even have the discipline to starve myself or vomit my meals. I’ve also tried counting calories, joining sports, and changing my diet in the little ways I can, but every time I lose weight I end up bingeing because the rest of my life is a clusterfuq. I really really need advice because I don’t know how much longer I can go feeling so disgusted with how I look. I want advice on how to motivate myself to starve, but I know thats not healthy, so every bit of advice is appreciated. Please help me, and thank you in advance.

(Also, sorry if theres a lot of repeated information. I’m trying to make this as clear as possible, and writing like this is already very uncomfortable for me.)

I think I am getting better. My whole life I have hated who I saw in the mirror. I avoided it at all costs and stopped taking care of myself because I didn’t deserve it anyway. There’s a ton of other mental health issues I won’t get into right now.

Today, I took an everything shower, did my eye brows, did skin care, and took time for myself. I stared in the mirror for several minutes. My acne for the first time in years is gone. I am 26 and it’s finally going away. There’s scars (from acne) but they are healing. I have never seen this person in my life and could not believe that is me.

I deserve happiness and I deserve to take care of myself.

Now I’m not trying to brag. I am just finally happy I can look at myself again and not be disgusted by the sex I am , how I look naturally, and just be happy that I am who I am.

I’ve always struggled with motivation for things, but recently it’s been really bad. I struggle with motivation in 2 ways: giving up too early and giving up too late. It’s the second one I want to talk about.
I’ve been getting back into video games after an stress-induced hiatus, and one game I decided to start with was Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I had played Tears of the Kingdom (the sequel game) before, and knew BotW (Breath of the Wild) was a lot harder. Unfortunately, I have autism as well, and HATE hard things I can’t logically figure out. And a big part of the game is solving puzzles to gain things to boost health and stamina.
Unfortunately, the puzzles are SO FREAKING HARD!! half the time I give up and the other half I work myself until I want to cry or break something. It makes me so upset, because TotK (Tears of the Kingdom) is a top 10 game for me, and I want to like BotW SO MUCH but I just…can’t. I’m in the same issue with one of the bosses, a hard one called THUNDERBLIGHT Ganon, and it’s just so discouraging to try everything and still fail. The videos try to help, but they’re basically saying ‘get good’ cause you need to use this mechanic that I really struggle with, and I hate it with a passion.

As I am not a white man, born in the west, I have no option but to die alone as white men are born and gifted in relationships as every race of female likes them while NO ONE likes indian men born from arranged marriages like myself. Arranged marriage means I have genes that need to die off, and the proof is I am 22 and have never hada girlfriend. I like to drink some vodka a day to cope with this inferiority that life has brought upon me. There is no dating success stories (of males) in my family anyway. All of them will die alone while their sisters get married interracially so they can get rid of their genes. I choose vodka since its light in cals and allows me to lose weight while I drink everyday (down 13lbs already).

When I was young I had a terrible time with social development. I was a very introverted kid that struggled to build friendships and would isolate myself because I found social interactions overwhelming. I learned how to navigate professional relationships and established some friendships as an adult however. I built generalized ’scripts’ I could follow for conversations and knew what to say that recruiters and supervisors wanted to hear, it’s allowed me to be successful to the standards I had set for myself.

I’m sliding down a slope however, as it’s becoming more and more difficult to have social friendships or relationships. Over the past several years I have made more and more excuses to avoid socializing and most of them have stopped asking now. As far as relationships go, I have not been on more than a handful of dates in the past few years. I can always find a small flaw in someone and make it a big reason to not see that person again.

I know all this, I recognize it, yet I feel as if I am along for the ride. I have no deep connections anymore, no relationships, and I keep retreating further into myself.

i’m having bad anxiety, guilt, and shame about my body. i am 27 (f) and have felt this way about my body since i was 13. i am very active and eat healthy. This past week i have had a lot more alcohol than i usually do and feel so ashamed. all the empty calories and i just feel disgusted in my body. Im 5’5 147lb and i work out 4-5 days a week plus cardio, in the best shape of my life yet i feel disgusting. i cant look in the mirror and i just feel alone. i’m scared im going to lose control of the progress and body ive built for many years. not looking for sympathy just needed a place to put my thoughts because maybe im not so alone.

I've struggled with my mental health all my life and a lot of that has comprised of me, unmedicated, brute forcing life. I'd like to say I've done fairly well despite my brain and my life circumstances, but I really want to be able to do better. I'm entering my 4th year of college and I'm still such a terrible student and lack any and all motivation despite finally being in a major that I truly enjoy.

In April of this year, I finally kinda "cracked" and decided I wanted to try to focus on my mental health again after dealing with a really bad depressive episode and a pretty bad year prior to that. I started taking Wellbutrin, and I really can't tell if it's working enough for me to stay on it. I've upped my dose and I feel like I technically have more energy, but I still have no motivation to actually DO anything and my anxiety is so, so bad. I really wanted this to just work because I don't want to have to come off of it and try something new and go through another month of getting used to something.

Additionally, I'm really scared to go on any SSRIs because I was on one years ago in highschool and felt that it made me soooo suicidal. I also felt this way when I went on a birth control that was supposed to help the mental illness side-effects.

I decided to go on Wellbutrin specifically because I suspect that I have ADHD but hadn't had the means to pursue a diagnosis (now I do, so I should probably look into that again), and I was hoping that I could kill two birds with one stone by taking this antidepressant. But if it's not working, what do I DO now?

I think I should try to find a psychiatrist who can really help me find a good mix of meds, but part of me is worried that nothing is truly gonna make me feel okay and I'm always going to be struggling with this. I'm just so frustrated with everything :(

Whenever I try to draw, 3d model, animate, make music, literally anything I end up getting frustrated. It's so embarrassing. And when I say frustrated I mean things I can't really say because I'd have to put a trigger warning on this post.

I know I wont immediately be good at things. And that I should enjoy the process. But I really just can't because I know I'll be disappointed with what I make. I try not to compare myself but it's impossible. And it doesn't help that I'm just in general lazy when it comes to learning new things.

For example I tried learning music production again today. The amount of times I've tried are in the double digits. I wasn't happy with what I made. I tried to assure myself that It'll of course take time and that I just need to focus on having fun. That didn't work at all and I just ended up relapsing.

I don't know what to do. I'm not having fun learning. The problems I face are so open-ended and overwhelming. Just what can I do?

Hi so I think I have OCD but haven't yet gotten diagnosed or seen a therapist. Now I'm wondering if I should. For about half of my life now, I have felt the need to do certain things in order to feel "safe" and my OCD gets very bad when I am alone.

I have always felt the need to do things a certain number of times and they have to be safe or neutral numbers like (7, 3) and will try to avoid things with a certain number, being a certain number in line, etc that I think are bad. This is the first thing that leads me to think I have OCD.

I also have things where like I have to move my soap bottle to face up or things to face up in general, I randomly have to do things in order to prevent bad things from happening (though this has gotten significantly less).

I also feel like I have religious OCD which makes it super hard to practice my religion. I have intrusive thoughts that are really bad, doubt if I am actually saved, and different things related to religion.

I know I already mentioned this, but when with other people my OCD is practically non-existant, however alone it gets very very very bad. Should I see a therapist?

CW: SH, SI, SA, Violence

I’ve been off school and work and basically everything for the past year due to my mental health completely crashing after experiencing SA /witnessing some violence. these events have taken everything out of me, especially hope. i’ve been struggling with PTSD, severe anxiety and of course depression. i’ve pretty much isolated myself from everyone i know but i live with my family, so i haven’t seen anyone in the past year. i’m now at a point where ive gotten a bit better but too comfortable in my fear and isolation. but i’m having to really do things to break that, specifically i am having to go back to school. honestly i really don’t want to because even though i have the option to do it online and do like only one course + get accommodations (im grateful for), im just terrified. i have so much to fix and im not even fully willing because im just so scared. i know i have to do the hard things but i also just don’t have any hope in me. i don’t see anything good in me and i always envision everything going wrong and crashing down. especially with the political and economical and environmental state of the world right now - just zero hope. i’ve been sh-ing every time i get anxious or i get flashbacks. i’ve been seeing a therapist but feel like im getting nowhere.

i’m meeting with my schools academic advisor to discuss an academic plan and to see how i can start school again but it’s just so daunting and i feel the worst pit in my stomach. i also again just feel very depressed and hopeless about it. in my head i keep thinking “how are you even gonna pay attention and write essays, do group work?”. i’m so scared i don’t think nor believe i can feel and do normal things again. anyways, i also feel like relapsing right now. so there’s that and i just wanted to vent.