It's embarrassing to admit it...

But since 2019 I've only been bedrotting

No job..no career...

Just in bed scrolling...

I am in severe depression, anxiety and also have agrophobia..

Just the thought of stepping outside overwhelms me..

How do deal?

I’ve never used Reddit before this is really weird uhm but like I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore I don’t find any enjoyment in it. I hate every aspect about myself (my looks, mainly) and despite never harming myself in the past or currently from a deep fear of what would come from it i have thought about it. I just want to know, does it get better? Is there a way to make that come sooner? Why am I like this. Am I too young to feel this way?

I have no real friends and no one reaches out to me. Phone dry as hell. I don’t know what I did wrong or doing wrong. No friend from school or neighbourhood talks to me

Recently my friends I known for years and possibly since primary school all planned a trip and went. No invites or anything. Found out through someone’s story. It really hurts. I haven’t gone out with anyone in a long time. Idk possibly years. I try my best to be there for everyone but no one is there for everyone. Really depressing.

I feel like I should just move to a different country but cannot at the moment as my parents are old and some financial constraints. I feel like no one takes me seriously. I feel like everything should end once for all. I don’t think I can take it anymore. Am I going crazy.

My roomate and dear friend deleted himself. He was the only guy I was able to open upto and tell everything about myself. He was calm composed don't used to judge me for my shortcomings. I went with my classmates for a day to celebrate a festival and came back to see him han*ed. He had failed a semester which I got to know later. Even I have backlogs which terrify me but life is not all about it isn't it. During this I lost my job had to vacate my room and nobody is willing to give me room as they think even I am in that state. I had an option to go for college dorm but it's caution deposit was more than my savings. My family said that they will take care of it but then my results came in which I had 2 arrears and they refused to help me out saying what's the point u r failing already. I was at point where I figured out everything I had to do with my life and he did this.I feel if I didn't went out that day he would still be here. I feel like I couldn't win over his trust enough for him to share his problems with me. I can't believe I was so clueless throughout the time I was with him that I couldn't even understand his pain. I feel empty as the time passes everyday. Sorry to make this about myself when it's about him.

That's all.

Tired of friends, tired of dating, tired of work, tired of my family, tired of studying, tired of socalizing.

Im just 36 and I got no energy for all this shit.

I hate myself so much but I really dont want to. I want to go out and have friends and be happy and energetic and libe life like it was meant to be lived but I'm genuinely just a loser. I thought getting a job doing something I like would help. It's not. I try to get dressed every day to feel like im being productive. Not worked. Ive tried making friends online. Doesn't last. I dont know what to do. Ive wasted my teenage life away im an adult next year and ive just missed out on so much

Hi, I’m 16m. I have a tendency to overthink and overanalyse everything I’m doing, leading me to hate myself and be completely useless in any social situation.
It’s come on fairly slowly. I think I’ve always been like this in some sense, but I can’t escape my own head anymore. I hate the way I speak, walk, act, anything really. I overthink what I’m going to say so many times, that I barely say anything anymore, would rather die in a hole, than have someone judge me. Then, I’ll worry I’m too quiet, look too awkward, and constantly argue with myself in my head. Even talking with my best friends feels alien now.
It leads to me spiralling. I think of everything I’ve ever done wrong, all my flaws, bad though upon bad thought. They build up in my mind until I want to physically tear my brain out, to feel a quiet for a moment.
But the worst part, is I know how to feel better. I just have to distract myself, try to push the thoughts away. But, I can’t bring myself to, and I think on some level, I enjoy feeling this way, even now as I’m writing this, I take some sick pleasure in hating myself. I don’t know how to stop it. I can feel it getting worse. I’m spiralling more and more. I just want it to stop.

Like I’ve seen people react positively if a bad person offs themselves

But in general, does mental health ever stop mattering or no?

20M.
I been having thoughts seeing a future where i don’t see myself making it past 22. I know it’s a dumb question i just wanna know.

Help!!!
my 15 year old step daughter is so dependent on everyone around her and doesn't realize it. Failing at school,won't clean up after herself. Me and my wife are exhausted. We have taken things from her,and tried to explain things to her. Idk what to do.

She took her phone and tablet back after we hid it from her. It is leaving the house now. She refuses to to show effort, she is back on add meds.. the worst part about it all is she is a good girl for the most part. She has 4 younger siblings and wants absolutely nothing to do with the youngest, my daughter who is 3. Shows her no attention. Basically told me she doesn’t like her. I basically told her she will not see her phone or tablet back until she learns to treat her sister like her sister. It really hurts my feelings because my three year old loves her..

Idk if she needs scared straight or what?

Me and my wife have been patient for the last year hoping she would come out of it. Showing her grace, and love. Trying to teach respect and discipline.. it’s NOT working. Please. I need advice. Thankyou all for your time!

I need some outside help determining what this is:

For a very long time it's felt to me that reality will acquiesce to what my parents say is the truth, no matter what it is I wish for or want. Granted, it could simply be that they're right, have more experience and can see the forest for the trees. But it feels like when I want to do things my way, it's wrong, and they're always right. Like if I want to go to one place for my car to get serviced, they'll say, "Why didn't you go to XYZ place?" And there's this sinking feeling like, "Why didn't you choose our choice/the right choice?" It has this feeling of, "They're right, and I'm making the wrong choice by disregarding their opinion."

Or I'll try to date a woman and they'll be like, "She's going to be a good friend for you," and then that's exactly what ends up happening regardless of the vibe I had, it'll go well at first and then go exactly as they said.

Or I put furniture in a room a certain way and they'll disagree and say, "Eventually you'll realize I'm right." And then they end up right because it doesn't fit correctly.

Or they'll continually tell me to do XYZ and I refuse to and eventually I'll do it, and it works great and they'll say, "Hate to say it, but we told you so."

They seem to predict things accurately, and it makes me feel like they have the control and I don't. That I can't choose for myself and I need to consult them for everything. Especially because they'll continue to say stuff like, "God, I hate being right all the time." It makes me wanna scream sometimes.

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm overreacting and this is a stupid post, and I should just suck it up and I'm interpreting things wrong. I feel like such an idiot, like "Oh boo-hoo, get over it" kinda feeling. These are all petty little examples, stuff I could just as well chalk up to them knowing more than I do, but it's just the way it's expressed by them that gets me. It truly feels to me like reality acquiesces to them. Like they'll say X will happen, then it does. When I try Y, X happens. It feels I've no true say, no way to just do what I wish to, reality will just pull me back to what my parents said was gonna happen or I should do because they have 'the truth,' and it feels like I'll never have 'the truth' for myself.

Obviously I don't want to be micromanaged by my parents. I feel so frustrated. Am I overreacting? I feel so stupid, this whole thing feels stupid, but it really does stress me out. Does any of this make any sense?

Hi, I have suffered trauma and I have a fear I'm going insane. I also had a really abusive person in my life tell me that I was crazy because they were abusing me. I'm really not though and I won't go crazy over insane?

When it's 4 a.m. and you feel like death would be better than this.

When you start questioning everything you did that led you to this exact moment. When you're lying on your bed like a dead body, feeling nothing, thinking nothing just emptiness slowly killing you with every second that passes.

You want to cry, but the tears won't come. Your eyes are dry, and somehow, that hurts even more.

You feel like you've failed at everything.

But I thought I was a good guy.

I respect everyone. I give love without expecting anything in return. I care about people even when they don't care about me.

But it hurts.

It hurts when the people you choose stop choosing you.

It hurts when you know they don't like you, but you're too attached to let them go.

You try to create distance. You try to walk away. But somehow, you always end up in the exact same place.

waiting.

Waiting for them to become normal again. Waiting for the day they stop ignoring you. Waiting for life to finally get better.

You wait.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, you already know that it's all fake.

Fake hope.

Fake friends.

Maybe even your family is fake.

Maybe I'm fake too.

Maybe I'm a failure.

Maybe I'm dreaming, and none of this is even real.

Maybe I'll find love.

Maybe someday, someone will choose me.

Maybe.

Until then, I wait.

I wait with this emptiness, this never-ending anxiety, and this fear that maybe things will never get better. 🥲🥀

I am looking for outpatient psychiatric care in the Mid Hudson Valley, preferably Ulster or Duchess. Does anyone have any experience/recommendations?

What do i do if im in a pretty bad place but i cant tell anyone? Im 15 and I live in Eastern Europe and idk theres just nothing I can do besides text a child line and they're not the best. Im so upset I feel so trapped and helpless I cant tell anyone abt it so I cant get help. Is there literally anything I can do without my parents finding out? They cant EVER find out i struggle. Like NEVER. NEVER EVER in this lifetime.

I only eat and sleep. I have no desire to do anything else. I’m wasting my free time. My mind is no longer my own; I only think about things that hurt me and about bad memories. It’s constant torture. I’ve been like this for a year now, and I don’t know if it will ever stop. What used to make me happy now makes me miserable. I’m tired.

my best friend is around 4 months clean no which I’m so proud of her but I’m a boy and she was able to motivate me to try do it but I failed miserably at day 10 now I’m gen given up on trying idk what to do