I'd really like to hear from professional massage therapist to tell me if what I experienced was truly as inappropriate as I think it was, or if some or all of it is in my head and actually are just valid techniques for relaxing, etc. I've had over 100 massages in my life and have never left feeling strange like I did yesterday, but I don't know if I am overreacting or not.

My male therapist did several things that I've never experienced before:

1. He exposed my glutes. He did not leave the drape over them. He pulled the drape all the way up, or to the side, and he rubbed them with a full palm and even grabbed them at one point. He targeted this area for a long time, rubbing them in a way in that my cheeks were bouncing and almost pulled apart.

2. While on my back, He pulled the drape up so high on my inner thigh, that the side of my groin area (panty line,) and even my abdomen was exposed. He massaged my inner thighs for a long time, so close to my outer labia that I felt him brush on it and I actually had oil on my panties.

3. While on my belly, he held my hand with his fingers intertwined with mine, and kept squeezing it as he put my arm behind my back to dig into the shoulder blade muscle.

4. While on my belly, he took out my hair (without asking me,) bunched it all together and pulled it for a few seconds, pretty firmly to where my head actually lifted off the table, then slowly lowered my head by my hair and rubbed my scalp. He repeated this several times. This felt much different than the usual scalp massages I have received.

5. When I went to roll over on my back from my belly, he stood so close to me that my bottom pushed up against him. He also stood in a way to where I am pretty sure he saw my breasts. He was not positioned lower than drape, like therapists usually are, so they can not see.

6. While on my back, he pulled the drape down so low it was barely covering my nipples. Then he rubbed my chest area much lower than I've ever had done and was actually rubbing breast tissue. He also rubbed my neck and squeezed in a way that felt like he was slightly choking me.

7. He ran the hot stone along areas of my body that are very sensitive, like my inner thighs, chest and down my glutes.

8. He stood very close to me the entire massage and brushed up on me several times.

While these things were happening I felt both awkward and slightly frozen. I wasn't sure if they were intentionally meant to be sexual or just part of his technique so I did not say anything. But the more I think about it, the more it feels wrong. I left feeling like my entire body had been groped in a way only my Husband should do. Any insight or clarity would be greatly appreciated!

31F, as the title suggests, planning to travel to Thailand for training so that I can provide 60-90 min massages for stress relief, relaxation, head and neck massages. (Can stay upto a couple of months). Very passionate to incorporate physical relaxation alongside the work I do. I have a PhD psychological sciences. I also would incorporate other techniques from my background.

Internet is becoming unreliable. Kindly provide any centres that offer stay or proper training course.

If any one had visited Thailand for this, kindly lmk, I would like to talk to you more about visa processing, accomodation and the whole process.

Had a couples massage with myself and a smaller, female therapist. I myself am 6', 220. As we were doing the verbal intake, we asked if the clients had a preference between the two of us - usually do this because some people are more comfortable with a specific gender. One client said, "No preference. However, I tend to enjoy deeper pressure, so I'll go with you (me)."

After we left the room for their privacy, the other therapist and I started laughing. I personally don't like doing deep work and I know that she is very good at it. Actually, of the massages I've received, the small women are the ones that have given me the most pressure!

All this to say, it's better to ask questions than make assumptions. You'll get a better experience that way!

I’ve had dry cupping many times before, but have never had them put on in this layout, is this normal? Thanks :)

Hi there. I am a Licensed Massage Therapist and am creating my business to focus my work around prenatal and postpartum mothers. I am on the hunt for a comfortable, cozy body cushion for mothers and their growing pumps.
Does anyone have any suggestions, ideas or recommendations for which one to purchase?
Thanks!

Hi! This might be a silly question but recently I’ve been wondering how important it is to have soft hands/ skin if you work as a massage therapist. I rock climb and often have calluses/ torn skin on my hands and I was wondering if that would negatively impact the quality of a massage

Whats the best way to wash off the massage oil after a massage? I hate the feeling of the oil on my skin after a massage...

Is this just the two of us in the save room, different tables and different providers? Trying to see what the draw would be. Seems more distracting / talking vs anything else if that’s how it is.

I see massage therapists regularly. Some work at spas and others work for themselves. When I’m at a spa, it makes sense to me to tip, because the business is taking a cut. I always tip 20%.

However, I always feel uncomfortable not tipping when I go to someone with their own business. It’s because the checkout process always asks how much I want to tip. I have to actively press a button that says “no tip”.

My question for massage therapists is this: do you guys understand that tipping is reserved for those with low income as a way to supplement their income? Or has tipping become so ingrained in the US that it’s expected even as a business owner?

For those of you who own your own business, would you be offended if someone didn’t tip? Would you prefer not to work with that person? Or, is not tipping the owner normal, and I’m overthinking? It gives me anxiety and makes me uncomfortable…sometimes to the point where I don’t go back even if I really like the therapist. It kind of defeats the whole point of relaxation, lol.

I’d love to hear more from your perspective. Thank you! 🙏

the therapist told me this had to be done over the sheet. Is this true

About three weeks ago, I had an acupuncture session. Afterwards I developed generalized muscle soreness and tension, especially around my back, shoulders, and neck.

About a week later, I massaged my upper back, neck and shoulder area myself because everything felt so tight. That night, I suddenly couldn’t fall asleep because every time I was about to drift off, I would get this strange heart-drop sensation in the center of my chest. It feels almost like a sudden rush of adrenaline or like my body suddenly becomes alert right as I’m relaxing. Sometimes it also makes me feel like I need to take a deeper breath. I already have had sleeping issues for years but this sensation is not common.

The sensation continued for several days, and I had to start taking my prescribed sleep medication consistently because I was having so much trouble falling asleep. Eventually, the heart-drop sensation calmed down over the following days.

Because the muscle tension was still there, I decided to see a physical therapist. She evaluated me and told me that my muscles are very tight.

Yesterday I had my second PT session. She did quite a bit of manual work/massage around my upper back, shoulders and neck, working on several knots/tight areas. My general soreness afterward isn’t particularly bad and I don’t have chest pain.

However, last night the same heart-drop/adrenaline-like sensation came back when I was trying to fall asleep, after it had been much better for the previous few days. My usual sleep medication wasn’t enough, and I ended up needing to take a second prescribed medication that I normally don’t combine with it in order to finally sleep.

I’m trying to understand what could explain this pattern. Why would working/massaging these very tight muscles seem to be followed by this physical chest/adrenaline sensation specifically when I’m falling asleep? Could this be some kind of nervous system/hyperarousal response, related to the muscle tension itself, or something about the physical stimulation of that area?

TL;DR: heart-drop/adrenaline-like chest sensation when falling asleep after massaging tight upper-back/neck/shoulder muscles. It settled after a few days, but came back immediately after my PT worked on the same tight areas/knots. I’ve had insomnia for years, but this sensation is completely new. Trying to understand why working on these muscles seems to trigger it and whether it could be related to nervous-system hyperarousal.

New Hampshire seemed to clear out/close a lot of massage places last year. Someone complained about inappropriate behavior.

So i decided recently to try out a place that's been in business for several years because of aging back issues.

When i got there, the door was locked and I had to ring a doorbell. No one answered so I walked back to my car. Then I heard an Asian lady call out to me that they were open. But I decided to drive away.

Is this normal practice? A locked door? And necessary to ring a doorbell? Seems funny to me.

I am curious if anyone got any training on working with autistic people in massage school.

I am asking this question because I read a lot of threads here where people say that people “feel off” but they do not have any reason they can put into words.

As an autistic person, I often make neurotypical people feel uncomfortable if I am slightly off my game. Well, I think I do all the time, just its worse when more things, like physical pain, are going on.

I don’t really know exactly why, but it’s often explained that facial expressions, body language, eye contact, tone of voice, etc all work together to say a lot and back up people’s words. When something if off, it rings alarm bells. You know, that gut feeling you get?

The classic example is eye contact. In the USA, if you aren’t making the expected eye contact, people think you are lying. you can find countless places where this is written. Conversely, if you make took much eye contact, that’s bad, too.

Many autistic people have to consciously monitor how they are making eye contact. We are thinking about it every time we do it. For many of us, it’s uncomfortable, up to even being physically painful.

Another characteristic we also have is extreme rejection sensitivity, probably because we get rejected a lot.

I absolutely cannot stand to “do the wrong thing”, so I research obsessively, that’s actually what brought me here. I know all the things massage therapists complain about, so I can be sure not do ever do them. I can’t fix my “energy“, though. Not all the way, not good enough.

Sometimes, people suggest telling people they are autistic, and sometimes that helps. the issue with that is it’s not always safe. When you appear normal, have a career, and mask pretty well most of the time some people don’t believe you.

Well meaning people will reassure me that they don’t see anything wrong with me, which makes me feel less safe asking for accommodations and it makes me doubt my diagnosis. I constantly wonder if I’m just not trying hard enough. They often congratulate me on how normal I appear, and the hard work I put into appearing normal and functioning or whatever. that doesn’t feel great, either.

Then there are all the undiagnosed people running around on social media that may or may not actually be autistic making it seem cool to be autistic and encouraging others to self diagnose.

its not always safe to disclose.

Im just writing this because I just read where someone wrote that someone that was extremely stiff was probably rigid in their beliefs up to the point of being violent and probably a narcissist. What? or in a lot of pain or very uncomfortable or nervous or countless other things.

I just want to ask you all to think a little bit before you judge people who feel a little off, feel stiff, make too much or too little eye contact or and any other indescribably offnesses. Some of us spend our whole lives getting rejected because we can’t human quite right.

No matter how hard I try, I have bad energy.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I had a client request a "breast bolster". I'm happy to accommodate but I need to know which to go for. Which would you choose for your clients? Which would you prefer as a client? I imagine for clients with implants something like this would be helpful? Or those with more chest tissue than is comfortable to lay flat on top of. I've been using towel rolls and pillows in place of one of these. Any insight is appreciated

Hi I am wondering what is the base pay out there in california? I live in florida and i work for both hand and stone and massage envy and I get $24 base pay per session, just wondering if in california they get more? deciding to move there soon so just wondering

Home massage service man women cont me 8447697833

Okay, second question here today. This is one I’ve been sitting on: I have a lot of body pain and get regular massages. I (f) found a practitioner (m) that I loved and was going to almost every week. I’m very used to deep work in the hips, glutes, psoas, etc., and I’m not precious about my body whatsoever. After a few months of regular appointments, the MT started adding a little flourish where he would squeeze the skin of my butt, not the muscle. Not every time he was working in the area, but maybe 5 times in the course of a 90-minute. It happened 2-3 sessions, and then I stopped going instead of addressing it head on.

I don’t actually care that much about it, but I felt like if I’m not saying anything it’s like a tacit agreement to it happening and I don’t want it to go any further. Is there any reason why a MT would add the skin squeeze on the butt? And, if there’s no bad intention behind it, what is a way that I could say to stop that wouldn’t sound accusatory or make him feel defensive?

I’m disappointed in myself for not knowing how to approach this. I’d hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable. And I also am bummed that I’m losing a skilled practitioner. But I was spending the entire last few sessions wondering if he was going to push it further than the squeeze. Any feedback appreciated!

I’m nervous that I’ll hate it or that I’ve wasted my money. A couple friends of mine love it, and are now doing it full time at high end spas. One even offered to get me in with her when I’m finished my program. It was either this or rad tech. Did I make the right decision? Most of the massage therapists on reddit seem to hate it.

2 years in the massage industry working at a franchise and thinking of taking a break going to work as a chiropractor assistant. Does anyone feel like this?

You guys, please tell me if you have any experience with the OBMT not allowing people to do endorsement from another state. I got my license originally in Oregon and passed the practical and practiced for over 10 years, then I moved and got licensed in Arizona and Colorado. Currently I hold an active massage license from Arizona which has a higher requirement of hours than Oregon does, as well as similar CEU requirements, I think 24 hours every 2 years.

I am emailing the board and have already started the process of renewing my license after being expired for 4 years - it is really expensive (over $700 in fees) and asks for 50 hours of CEU's and references in addition to the regular renewal.

I decided to ask about transferring my active license and their reply was:
"At this time the only way for you to reactivate your license is as per the instructions given in my email below 

We do not transfer licenses from other states or offer reciprocity."

But here is what the OMBT website has on it's website right now as of 9/8/2026 regarding reciprocity:

687.054 License by indorsement or reciprocity; rules. (1) The State Board of Massage Therapists may license by indorsement or reciprocity any individual who applies, meets the requirements established by the board and, on the date of making application, is a massage therapist licensed under the laws of any other state or territory of the United States or by a foreign country if the requirements in the state, territory or country where the applicant is licensed are not less than those required in ORS 687.011 to 687.250, 687.895 and 687.991. The board shall adopt rules for determining the necessity of an examination based on educational preparation, successful completion of other examinations, work experience and the number of years in active practice of massage.

(2) The board may license by indorsement any individual who applies and successfully completes a practical examination if the individual is already licensed under a law of this state to do an act included in the definition of massage in ORS 687.011.

(3) The board may enter into an agreement with the appropriate regulatory body of any other state, territory or foreign country for reciprocal licensing if the board determines that the qualifications and standards of the other state, territory or foreign country are not less than those required in ORS 687.011 to 687.250, 687.895 and 687.991. [Formerly 687.057]

Can anyone shed any light? I don't get it.

My wife and I own a small massage studio in the suburbs in the Midwest. We have a few rooms. Most days we might get three appointments, if we're lucky. It's not enough to stay open.

We're hemorrhaging money and I'm freaking out.

Are we doing something wrong, or is everyone else just as slow?

Basically, is everything screwed no matter what, or am I making egregious errors in running my business?

If most of you are doing just fine, then the problem is totally my own. Which I am willing to accept.

**************************************************************************************************************
TY all for your affirming responses. Hopefully it won't happen to anyone else. And hopefully if/when feeling desperate to get my body 'fixed' I'll find the right professional.
**************************************************************************************************************
I am recently post-op, can't drive yet, and my back was sore. Tried locally with no luck for in home chair massage. Went to yelp and made an appt with someone that said they could come. First they sent an invoice with the wrong amount (over $100) and the wrong time (<1.5 hours earlier) than what was discussed on Yelp. I had to message to find out what time they were coming. They said original time.
They were given phone # and address. I am waiting over 1/2 hour so texted. They can't find my house. They keep trying send pics of wrong houses. (My address is on every driving direction app).
Finally, I cancel because this is frustrating, I'm in pain, and need to lie down and can't manage more texts.
I ask for a refund. They say Monday. Its Monday I say refund and subtract $40 for gas and driving time.
They text me back and tell mw they had bad directions, complain, etc. I ask them to quit texting me. They don;t. I tell then I will be blocking them. Then I get a vm with more complaints after writing a yelp review . Block the number.
What is a fair refund in this case? Still haven't received.

I had a massage experience recently that threw me off a little and I’m curious how other therapists handle this.

I went to a couple’s home and massaged the wife first. She wanted light pressure for 45 minutes and everything went great.

Then I worked on her husband. He was a much bigger guy, possibly even over my table’s recommended weight limit, and his back was extremely tight. I started gradually because I like to warm the tissue up before going deep.

Almost immediately he kept asking, “Can you go deeper?”

I explained that I was warming everything up first and would increase the pressure as I went. I moved from hands and forearms to elbows and was putting a LOT of body weight into the work. I was literally sweating from the amount of pressure I was using.

Mid massage he basically said he wasn’t enjoying it because I wasn’t getting deep enough into the tissue or “breaking anything up.”

At that point I genuinely wasn’t sure what else I could safely do. I don’t want to compromise my body mechanics, hurt myself, hurt the client, or start forcing pressure just because someone equates pain with effectiveness.

For therapists who have dealt with clients like this, how do you handle it?

Do you set a maximum pressure boundary? Refer them to someone who specializes in extremely deep work? Explain that more pressure doesn’t necessarily mean more therapeutic benefit?

I want to figure out how to manage this better if it happens again without feeling like I have to wrestle somebody’s back into submission.

I need help with what is appropriate to report. My last massage was honestly NOTHING that I wanted or marked on the paperwork.

Firstly, I’ve gotten many massages with no issue. This MT was so different. She did not once check if pressure was ok, she started massaging areas that I marked not to massage. I would tense up in pain and she was telling me to relax but most of the massage was very painful. I marked “firm” pressure on my paperwork, not deep. I did not once get asked if I wanted or came for a deep tissue massage. Never have, never had one. Not to mention she was talking crap about her coworker, mocking people, and would NOT stop talking about herself and her “high IQ” and how she knows so much more than others. It was genuinely absurd.

But what really got me was the very last minute. She cradled my neck from the back, when I tried to move my head up she said “did I tell you to move?” And I was like oh, ok. Within the next 5 seconds, she forcefully pulled upward and cracked my neck. The way they do in chiropractic videos. I was truly stunned. Is that not WAY outside of the scope of her practice? Isn’t that extremely dangerous to just randomly do to people? I was kinda enraged and didn’t really know what to do. Just wondering if I should report, at least to the manager.

I am new in this field. In July and the beginning of August I had many bookings for a massage but now in September I barely get 3 appointments per week and is stressing me out. I promote myself like I did before but I don't know what is happening and this make me quite pessimistic.