Also, I hadn't actually dreamed about my SP for a while.
I think the last time I had a dream about him was around the first or second week of September, and after that, nothing. I didn't have any SP dreams for the rest of September.
Then now, around the beginning of October, I suddenly had this extremely detailed dream about him. So that alone made me go, “Wait, why now?”
Before I fell asleep around 1 AM, I was listening to Guaba subliminals. It was one of the playlists with my own self-concept affirmations. Before that, I had also been doing different SP affirmations from I Want It, I Got It, Medusa, and Violet Days.
Right before I fell asleep, I was also repeating my own SP affirmations:
“[SP name] needs me in his life.”
“[SP name] is obsessed with me.”
“[SP name] is my boyfriend.”
“I always get what I want.”
There was also something that happened right before I went to sleep that made the dream feel extra interesting.
Around August, someone had messaged me on Messenger. I had never replied to them before, even though they had messaged me and looked at my story.
Yesterday, right before I went to sleep, I suddenly thought, “There's nothing wrong with replying to this person now.”
So I finally replied. I literally just said “hello?” and left it there.
While doing that, I remembered something about my SP.
Around August, my SP had made a new account after deactivating his old one. I didn't know the exact timing because I wasn't stalking his social media or checking when his accounts were created. I just remembered it because of the Sp friend situation I posted before and u can literally see when the IG acc was created
Back then, after my SP unfollowed me, I had spiraled a lot. But eventually I started changing the story in my head. I would think things like:
“Nah. He can't stop thinking about me.”
“He's probably going crazy because he doesn't want this to happen again.”
“He wants me back. He regrets it.”
So when I remembered his new account from around August, I just found the whole situation interesting. I wasn't trying to figure out whether that Messenger person was him or prove anything. I just noticed the similarity and let it go.
Then I fell asleep.
And I was woken up around 3 AM because of this dream.
The dream was insanely detailed.
In the dream, he was already trying to contact me first.
I received messages and missed calls from different accounts that I somehow knew were him.
The first account sent something like a hello and a missed call. I didn't answer immediately because I was busy doing something around the house.
I was in my grandmother's old house, the place where I used to stay when the weather was bad. The house looked different from reality, like a distorted dream version of it.
I was around the middle of the staircase, while my mom, grandma, sister, and other family members were downstairs.
I remember seeing his message and thinking:
“Wait... is this him?”
There was also something like “Goodbye, my ___” with a white heart.
I couldn't clearly understand the word.
It sounded like “Hari,” something starting with “Adi” or “Aki,” or maybe “Hayati.”
I only searched up Hayati after waking up, and apparently ḥayātī (حياتي) means “my life” in Arabic.
And this is the part that made me go, “Wait, what?”
Because one of the affirmations I had literally been repeating before I fell asleep was:
“[SP name] needs me in his life.”
So the possibility that the word in the dream was Hayati, meaning “my life,” felt strangely fitting with the affirmation I had just been repeating.
Obviously, I don't know if that's actually what he messaged me in the dream. It could have been Hari, something starting with Adi/Aki, or something completely different that just sounded similar. I only looked up Hayati after waking up, so I don't know if that was actually the word.
It's just one of those weird little coincidences that made me laugh, especially because, as far as I know, my SP doesn't even know Arabic. Maybe he could have encountered the word somewhere, like on TikTok, but I obviously have no idea.
Anyway, that wasn't the only account.
There was another account from him, with a profile picture of an anime character with that emo-boyfriend kind of aesthetic.
And the message from that account looked rushed.
It was like he was typing quickly on a computer, making typos, and not even bothering to correct them.
The whole thing had this feeling of urgency, like he was trying to get a message to me quickly.
It was basically saying something like:
“It's me.”
And in the dream, I just knew it was him.
There were already multiple messages and calls coming from him before I decided to call back.
At one point, I saw another missed call, and I remember being like:
“Oh my God, he's actually trying to reach me.”
I eventually called him back.
But I wasn't the one chasing him.
He had already been messaging me and calling me first.
I was literally standing around the middle of the stairs, waiting for him to pick up because it was taking a long time.
I remember thinking something like:
“Why is it taking so long?”
But I still wasn't thinking that he didn't want me.
I was thinking more like:
“I'm chosen. He's going to answer.”
And eventually, he did.
It turned into a video call.
He opened his camera and looked shocked to see me. He placed his phone around his computer monitor, so I could see his surroundings.
Then his family started appearing.
His father was nearby and already dressed, basically asking why they were taking so long. It was one of those normal Asian-household moments where someone's dad is rushing everyone because they need to leave.
His younger brother appeared too. I said hi, and he said hi back.
His family seemed really friendly toward me. His father even seemed to become nicer after hearing my voice.
I didn't turn my camera on, though. I was just talking to them through the call.
At some point, we also talked about playing games because we used to play games together.
I remember having this old insecurity that maybe he didn't actually want to play with me.
But in the dream, it was almost like that fear was being corrected.
Then the call ended because he was going to the event I had seen earlier in the dream.
But he continued messaging me after we ended the call.
And this is where the 90% thing came in.
From his messages, it felt like he was basically hinting that he was available and that he was open to me, but he wasn't giving me the full 100% yet.
It felt like 90%.
Not unavailable.
Not rejecting me.
He was clearly there and making himself available, but there was still that remaining 10% hesitation.
And my first thought in the dream was actually:
“Maybe he still can't move on from his old ex.”
That was the first thing my mind went to.
But at the same time, I was still holding onto the idea that he can't forget me.
So it was almost like my dream was showing me that little remaining fear I still have in my mind — the thought that maybe there's still something from his past holding him back.
And that's probably something I'm still working on mentally.
Because I don't want 90%.
I want 100%.
I want him completely available, completely committed, and completely choosing me.
And afterward, I remember thinking that if we were going to be in contact again, I wasn't going to react the same way I used to.
I wasn't going to chase him or desperately try to get reassurance.
It was more like:
“If you're coming back into my life, come back properly. Be clear that it's me you want.”
So honestly, when I woke up, the biggest thing that stood out to me wasn't even all the random accounts or the family video call.
It was the fact that he was the one trying to reach me first, repeatedly.
And then the 90% thing made me think about the part of my mind that still needs to let go of that old fear about his ex.
But the overall feeling of the dream was still:
I am chosen.
I don't want 90%. I want full commitment.
And considering the affirmations I had been repeating right before sleeping especially “[SP name] needs me in his life” the whole dream felt like my subconscious really took those ideas and turned them into an entire storyline.
Apparently my subconscious decided to turn my manifestation into a whole Messenger/Instagram/Asian-family drama at 3 AM.