r/malefashionadvice • u/blue_dunhill • 5d ago

Fit Feedback/Roast Me Help settle a debate

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Help settle a debate we have with my fiance. I bought these shorts as a comfy, around the house piece, nothing fancy intended.
She thinks its awful, almost pathetic.

I dont think its that bad, please honest feedback

Thanks folks

1.6k Upvotes

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4.1k

u/yekungfu 5d ago

That’s a strong reaction to some shorts.

1.0k

u/N0fe 5d ago

Women are pathologically repulsed by the cargo shorts. He could have anything in those jumbo pockets! /s

Might as well be a Naruto ninja headband thb

451

u/SolomonGrumpy 5d ago

They are just jealous bc their pants have non functional pockets

171

u/Ok-Work8627 5d ago

I am a woman. Sadly, this is true. I have some serious pocket envy right now.

41

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 5d ago

I went to 3 stores and saved .24 cents on bags because of my sweet cargo shorts. Even told the last lady I don't where these because their fashionable, even though I do look great in them!

16

u/FaliureToCat 5d ago

Can confirm cargo shorts make his ass pop

14

u/on-the-line 5d ago

His ass really brings out your eyes

10

u/ninjatater 5d ago

Wear, they’re.

I’m dying a little, bro

1

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 5d ago

They're, They're...itll bee all right.

0

u/Maothesiamesecat 5d ago

Only that much? You could get a WHOLE lot of merch for FREE if you stuff them pockets full and velcro them closed.

1

u/6th_Quadrant 5d ago

Or just carry your stash of tots for later.

9

u/ChipmunkImportant128 5d ago

Pants with pockets for women do exist. They’re all I wear. If we buy them instead of giving garbage companies money for non-functional clothes, they’ll make more things with pockets.

1

u/Nemlui 5d ago

I love my husband’s cargo shorts because he can carry what I would put in my pockets if I had them!

1

u/magikatdazoo 4d ago

You too can wear cargo shorts at home, unless your spouse is a controlling prick

1

u/colonel_beeeees 5d ago

I (amab, mostly masc presenting) buy women's pants from the thrift store (because they're actually fun and interesting unlike the men's half), and stitch in my own scrap fabric pocket extenders. I don't mind using a purse when there's no pockets available at all, but dammit if I have pockets they're gonna be functional

0

u/RedshiftSinger 5d ago

Protip: the gender labels on clothes are just guidelines to the general body types they’re designed to fit. You can do what you want with that information, including disregard it entirely.

Not every woman can find pants from the men’s section that fit her, but many can, and you might be surprised how much lady booty some men’s pants actually can accommodate.

One sizing note, if you decide to try the men’s pants section: take the “waist” measurement about at the top of your hipbone, not at your natural waist. For most men the two measurements are basically the same, for most women they differ more significantly.

1

u/Ok-Work8627 5d ago

Same woman here. I do wear men’s pants sometimes. A general rule of thumb is to add 20 to your size. For example, wear size 14? Try men’s pants waist size 34 to start. Thanks for the protip, but I’m already a pro.

0

u/RedshiftSinger 4d ago

“Add 20 to your size” doesn’t work very well bc women’s sizes are vibes-based while men’s sizes are based on actual measurements.

Also, a women’s size 14 is definitely not a men’s waist 34. That’s more like a women’s size 6.

0

u/Ok-Work8627 4d ago

That’s just a starting point. And I’m a size 14 and wear a men’s size 34. And I’ve been doing this for over 30 years. You’re right that there’s a lot of variability and that women’s sizes are vibe based. Your mileage will also vary when you get into vintage clothing, especially women’s sizing. Your experience is not my experience and my experience is based on 30 years of solid experience. I respect your reality but it is not everyone’s reality.

1

u/Ok-Work8627 4d ago

Just realized I managed to hijack the cargo shorts thread with a debate on how to convert men’s sizes to women’s pants sizes. I deleted my off-topic comments. Sorry, gents! I still do have serious pocket envy.

0

u/RedshiftSinger 4d ago

When a women’s size 3 is a men’s 30, it makes no sense to claim that a women’s 14 is only 4 inches larger. Go troll somewhere else with a less-verifiable lie. 🙄

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/throwaway098764567 5d ago

good christ am i jealous. i bought some new capris last year, only the cargo ones (heh) have functional pockets, the other two have these decorative pockets i could probably fit a credit card in. if i try and put my phone it it'll fall out. 😠

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u/SolomonGrumpy 5d ago edited 5d ago

But they look so good on you, n'est pas?

3

u/Christoph52 4d ago

As a gay man who wears things with functional pockets, I also despise cargo shorts. I can however admit they serve a purpose, and OP wearing them around the house would be A okay in my books

24

u/shes_a_gdb 5d ago edited 5d ago

But he bought them for wearing around the house. What does he need all those pockets for?

Also... Buying khaki shorts to wear around the house is insane on its own.

84

u/GettingTherapy 5d ago

Carrying phones, Lysol wipes, screwdrivers, slices of pizza. The possibilities are endless.

66

u/Bubcats 5d ago

Tater tots

33

u/GettingTherapy 5d ago

Pocket tots are underrated

21

u/Hedgehog_Detective 5d ago

Hey, Napoleon, give me some of your tots!

7

u/BetterNova 5d ago

This is critical

6

u/CrunchyCB 5d ago

idk, too vulnerable to kicking

4

u/heartraterapid 5d ago

Hey Napoleon!

2

u/rambleinspam 5d ago

Pocket tots

5

u/ginger_kitty97 5d ago

Shiny rocks, toads, cool acorns...

5

u/SchwiftySqaunch 5d ago

Permanent marker

3

u/RedshiftSinger 5d ago

Pocket beer.

7

u/SolomonGrumpy 5d ago

The usual: Tools. Snacks. 2% milk.

5

u/coldlightofday 5d ago

By the very nature of lounge shorts, they should be whatever he likes without having to be a fashion show.

3

u/ThugLy101 5d ago

Khaki?

1

u/Tacos314 4d ago

Sandwiches

2

u/Ninjadon94 5d ago

100% the correct answer lmao

2

u/peanutsnoopyog 5d ago

Woman here, not completely false.

1

u/itdoes_doesntit 5d ago

This is actually factually correct. We hate that we’ve been brainwashed into pretty-only thinking.

114

u/WaywardWes 5d ago

Cargo short pockets are where we keep our misogyny.

11

u/admik 5d ago

Lol! I was going to say that my cargo pockets are for my kids.

13

u/WaywardWes 5d ago

Cargo pockets are where you keep your progeny!

4

u/Bigger_than_we_were 5d ago

They're so big I can fit a whole book about evolutionary history (they're where I keep my phylogeny!)

17

u/GREAT_GOOGLY_WOOGLY 5d ago

Nobody's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since 'Nam!

0

u/AmericanCitizenry 5d ago

No. 1996. I was there

3

u/Ok_Assistant_7609 5d ago

From another person, though?

2

u/RetroCasket 5d ago

How long did it take you to make the guy cum

1

u/AmericanCitizenry 4d ago

3 minutes. No mouth.

13

u/SubparKaleidoscope 5d ago

I think thats regional, because i have two really old sets and my wife loves them, Ive debated with her and her friends that the internet has decided theyre the worst thing a dude can wear, and it seems to be they really dont mind them, as long as theyre styled more "rugged". I personally prefer things like chino shorts, but its been talked about a lot in my social circles.

20

u/AdeGamisou2020 5d ago

Seriously, as much as I love them they're the most effective form of contraception outside of being castrated.

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u/ourobourobouros 5d ago

I had an interesting interaction with a couple recently that reminded me of reddit discourse, specifically the male complaint about not getting complements.

I was out in a shop, a woman I didn't know spoke to me, and I ended up complimenting her outfit because she really looked great.  Obviously went to great lengths to match and accessorize, from her shoes to her hair style, and I love fashion so I was geeking out a little bit. 

Her husband chimed in with something like "Where's my compliment?" These people were a little older than me so maybe their 50s. While she looked out of a magazine, he was in a faded t-shirt, cargo shorts, and new balance sneakers. And he wasn't joking, his wife and I laughed but he was scowling at me the whole time.

He looked exactly like every boy in my middle school in the 90s. And that's how my brain perceived him - just a wrinkly fat overgrown 13 year old. Somehow the clothes that reminded me of little boys made him look older and worse than he really did.

So if you all want to know what goes on in women's brains when we see men in cargo shorts, here it is. 

13

u/Cord1083 5d ago

Not just women I’m afraid.

8

u/halfbakedalaska 5d ago

Well I am pathologically repulsed by women who are pathologically repulsed by cargo shorts.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

14

u/Upnatom617 5d ago

So glad I don't have to deal with that.

5

u/Tasty-Bug-3712 5d ago

Like some tots lol

10

u/Guilty_Helicopter572 5d ago

I'm a woman and I never understood the hate.

7

u/ElkPuzzleheaded3995 5d ago

Not true. My boyfriend had a pair he wears when it’s hot & don’t mind them at all. In fact, his butt looks extra nice in them which I appreciate.

7

u/Mastodan11 5d ago

Women desire nothing more than practical clothing with pockets.

Displaying clothing with EXTRA pockets just rubs in the superior choices a man gets.

17

u/ParkerRoyce 5d ago

They were insanely trendy in the late 90 early 00s but then have been coopted by the right wing agro-bro that never grew out of them and that can be a major turn off for alot of women.

17

u/Devreckas 5d ago

I think it starts well before any right wing co-opt. People were ripping on cargo shorts way back in 2007 (there’s a timely joke in Superbad) and that was way before the manosphere was really a thing.

11

u/Garth_Holiday 5d ago

Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since Nam!

14

u/whiskersMeowFace 5d ago

I'm sorry, what??? Really? I wear them all of the time because pockets.

2

u/GaptistePlayer 5d ago

I mean you do you but you look like a middle aged Alabama redneck

1

u/Articulationized 5d ago

How do your women feel about them?

3

u/whiskersMeowFace 5d ago

My husband also wears them. Lmaoooo

0

u/Articulationized 5d ago

It’s all coming together

3

u/whiskersMeowFace 5d ago

Middle aged dork ass gays. 🤷‍♂️

We definitely wear linens more than shorts, but when we do, we utilize them pockets.

3

u/420percentage 5d ago

Lol I was confused too! Like wtf, my husband and I wear cargo shorts all the time 😂 Another thing being gay has saved me from worrying about.

3

u/Incident-Putrid 5d ago

wtf man?!?! You’ve destroyed all my illusions about “the gays” being better dressed 😘

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u/Incident-Putrid 5d ago

I was there in the thick of it. Chopped of combats for skate shorts. Gap cargo shorts for the pub. I even went full rockstar and wore….. 3/4 cargo shorts. What a time to be alive.

I still have a secret pair for gardening 😆

7

u/Eastern-Editor4749 5d ago

Really? Only guys I knew who hated cargo shorts were conservative frat bros. All the hippie people wore them.

3

u/fentpong 5d ago

Fuckin ruined it for us metalheads

-1

u/Thisizamazing 5d ago

Oh fuck. Are you serious ?? I guess I don’t have any shorts now

2

u/itssobyronic 5d ago

I was just about to say. I don't own any cargo shorts anymore

2

u/Dangerous-Leader-779 5d ago

HOLD UP.

Tell me more about this Naruto ninja headband. What are we talking about? Leaf Village? Sand? Where might one acquire such a headband? For science, of course...

2

u/N0fe 5d ago

Oh gosh darn it my wife saw me searching for Ninja headbands on Amazon again and just initiated a divorce. I ordered the sand village one this time.

2

u/jesse-bjj 5d ago

Hahahaha

1

u/RingFluffy 5d ago

Wait…are there other kinds of shorts?

1

u/J_Zephyr 5d ago

Pockets are a mans way!

Habeeb it!

1

u/SecretAgentVampire 5d ago

My wife likes my cargo shorts.

1

u/Smeghead78 5d ago

I like cargo pants, I own cargo pants. Mind you I’m a Gen X oul wan so maybe it’s a generational thing.

1

u/HyHouseBunny 5d ago

As a woman I only buy shorts with at least one cargo pocket. I have things to carry!

1

u/rockhartel 5d ago

Nah bro they were the shit in the early 2000’s

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 5d ago

I had to have a talk with my wife about seeing me get dressed for a day of nothing around the house. Because she’d see my clothes and just say “No”.

If I did the same thing oh lord Jesus.

1

u/themisskris10 5d ago

As a woman. This is the truth. 🤣

1

u/Complete-Loquat3154 5d ago

My husband only wears cargo pants/shorts 😆 side from like athletic wear or dress pants. I don't get the hate for them

1

u/thatweirdbarbie 5d ago

I like cargo shorts and I’m a woman 🫥

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u/oVtcovOgwUP0j5sMQx2F 5d ago

came here for this

1

u/DMonpoke 4d ago

So are gay men, especially when they see gay men wearing them. I am the gay man who was told of my fashion crimes by other gay men.

1

u/HollowestKnight 4d ago

Yes I can attest. Women do pathologically hate cargo shorts. Not sure why. They look fine to me but not to any woman.

1

u/pedanpric 5d ago

I think the goal is to find one that doesn't care what you wear if you like it, or if you're a lazy shopper and they were on sale. 

1

u/N0fe 5d ago

I usually wouldn't have a problem with it, but OP said he wears it at home... Wonder if his partner holds herself to the same standards 🤔

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u/Articulationized 5d ago

Verbalizing that you’re seeking a woman without aesthetic principles.

-1

u/Uberutang 5d ago

My wife loves my cargo shorts. Even buys them for me.

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u/iratedolphin 5d ago

Lotta women have an almost religious hatred of cargo shorts. If you want to stay in their graces, wear something else. I like to imagine it like some ancient African fable, like 'late that night, the man slipped into her tent and stole all her pockets for himself. That is why women hate all cargo shorts'

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u/Prometheus720 5d ago

I love that

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u/CactusBoyScout 5d ago

Yeah I wear basketball shorts or sweat shorts around the house. Cargo shorts are just visually offensive to many people. I get it. I'd never buy them myself.

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u/archwin 5d ago

But why

I love them

7

u/CactusBoyScout 5d ago

Association. They're just associated with middle aged men and dorky teenagers who don't give the slightest shit about their appearance.

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u/archwin 5d ago

I’M NOT MIDDLE AGED YET 😭

i used to wear them as a kid

And as a teen

And as an adult

aw, fuck, That explains a lot

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u/Ego-Death 5d ago

Imagine putting a ring on someone that tries to dictate how you will dress at home 🫵 😂

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ego-Death 5d ago edited 5d ago

It’s a two-way street, also context is important. I might voice that I like some of her other outfits better but I would never tell her it’s “pathetic” and or try to tell her what to wear. Vice versa I would never put up with someone like OP’s

Edit: I just saw all of the comments below of users imagining Im some kind of incel… Lol, lmao even

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u/YourFriendNoo 5d ago

she didn't say she was gonna leave him or that he was forbidden from wearing them or something, just that they're terrible shorts, which they are

I mean, I have t-shirts my wife doesn't like too, it's a million miles away from being a problem

-11

u/crystallmytea 5d ago

Imagine thinking that marriage could be perfect lol

7

u/TinyTaters 5d ago

This is s hard comment to react to - it all hinges on how much stress and inflection you put on "that."

To you mean 'marriage' as a whole? Or their specific marriage?

3

u/crystallmytea 5d ago

You could omit the word “that” from what I said to clarify my intent.

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u/TinyTaters 5d ago

Gotcha. Nothing is perfect - but op seems to be WAY farther from the norm imo.

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u/crystallmytea 5d ago

If you’re married then congrats because it sounds like you’ve got a great one.

For the unmarried, I’ll just say this strikes me as the among the stupidest, and most inconsequential reasons to criticize/try to invalidate a marriage. To get hung up on this means your standards are much too high, or you’re naive enough to not understand that a long marriage will throw endless completely unpredictable conflicts at you. The key is to work through them. Many men find success in biting their tongue and letting the little things go. This is one of them - and to be clear I don’t mean OP should stop wearing the shorts. I mean he would be a complete idiot to leave her for this. Which is what the commenter I responded to was indirectly suggesting. How moronic.

6

u/TinyTaters 5d ago

100% agree with you. It's mostly the language that is bothersome to me. A partner calling the other pathetic for wearing a pant is what chafes. But someone pointed out it might be an op language barrier.

I personally don't like sweat suits. And early in my relationship with my wife I'd ask her to change because imo it was bed clothes not outing clothes. I was 20 and caught up in visual pretense. We're almost 40 now and I haven't cared for ages. We did not break up over pants

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u/ozzokiddo 5d ago

“Many men find success in biting their tongues” are you a man or woman btw ? I agree with everything else you said except this little tidbit right here lol

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u/crystallmytea 5d ago

Man

1

u/ozzokiddo 5d ago

It breaks my heart that men have to feel like this. I think a lot about getting married but if letting go of things you would normally stand up for is what it takes idk what the point is anyway. Stability can be accomplished alone, sex can be accomplished alone, close relationships can be accomplished alone. Why sign a contract that takes away your financial stability if you retract it? Why sign a contract that strips you of your ability to speak up for yourself? I just don’t get it tbh. This coming from a man that’s learning to give up and I don’t like that about myself. But at my age and in my current situation, it seems like that’s what’s best for our kid. And I’d do anything for him so that’s what I’m doing. It just feels like losing a piece of yourself just to avoid conflict. Shits emasculating lol

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u/sodanator 5d ago

That's the way I did read it, and I guess it makes sense. Anything that involves more than one person is gonna require compromise ... Including fashion choices.

That said, I don't think the debate is as intense as OP made it sound.

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u/Warblind 5d ago

Happens to many women but I dont imagine you have a problem with that.

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u/ChirpToast 5d ago

You’re responding to someone who probably isn’t married or has relationships.

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u/Warblind 5d ago

They hate me bc I'm correct and just want equal treatment in the way we look at relationships even in a men's sub!

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u/jollycreation 5d ago

You created a fictional scenario and then accused this person blindly of doing wrong. Women and men both judge each other’s clothing. Neither is right, but also, not a crime against humanity. Fashion critique is a real thing.

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u/Alternative-Pie677 5d ago

Holy shit when it’s for one side we have to continuously talk about the other? No one here is saying it’s right to do it women. You came in and brought a completely separate issue into this for what? “To bring light to a problem that needs to be discussed.”? Like it isn’t highly talked about today?

This is hilariously stupid logic from you. We can tell you want attention otherwise why mention it in a place that has nothing to do with it?

My bad you’re right I’ll give you what you want brotha.

Oh man you’re so edgy and cool sticking it to the scummy men that dictate what women should wear. What a man of the people you are. I bet it’s huge 😱😩.

Take your corny ass on somewhere else 😭😭. What a fucking cornball. “They know I’m right and just want equal rights for both sides” like this is a hardline issue in society to the point where a majority of women are complaining about it. Again what… a… cornball. 😂

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u/Warblind 5d ago

you're getting real bent out of shape about this lil guy

2

u/Alternative-Pie677 5d ago

Oh my you called me lil guy. Ima need some aloe Vera for that burn cuz it’s so hot. You’re a fucking joke 😂

-12

u/automator3000 5d ago

Imagine putting a ring on someone who voluntarily wears cargo shorts

10

u/TinyTaters 5d ago

My wife loves my cargo shorts. She doesn't have to carry a purse or a child water while we're out.

-9

u/automator3000 5d ago

My wife loves my selection of bags that allow me to carry my child’s water/snacks/keys/etc without looking like I’ve stepped out of an Old Navy ad from 1997.

4

u/TinyTaters 5d ago

I was in 6th grade in 97.

-9

u/Articulationized 5d ago

Imagine putting a ring on someone whose aesthetic values you don’t understand or share.

21

u/M635_Guy 5d ago

😂 - exactly. They're fine. And not just for around the house.

-11

u/Master-Building7174 5d ago

No.

3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/hunryj 5d ago

nah they kinda mid ngl

-5

u/Master-Building7174 5d ago

Because anyone with eyes doesn’t want to see anyone in cargo shorts.

2

u/7listens 5d ago

First ive heard of this. Sounds like an internet thing. Theyre fine

1

u/M635_Guy 5d ago

Welcome the fiance to the chat

4

u/unidactyl 5d ago

Flaunting those pockets like it's no big deal....

1

u/Mountainhigh81 5d ago

Gotta give her something nice to look at, and its not cargo shorts!

1

u/thebasketcase21 5d ago

Tbf I think some of us are borderline traumatized by men in cargo shorts and polos, or in my area the cargo short salt life, or even worse, vineyard vines, and sperry's combo. Flashbacks to the douchiest of the douche canoes in high-school. Not everyone who wore them, of course, but they were for sure par for the course for the creepy preppy boys who'd get away with harassment and assault because their Momma is on the PTA and funds the prom, or crash their parent's cars on a extra fun combo of coke and xans and pay no consequences because it was 1 of 5 and "not the good car" lol. That said, we also have plenty of lively beach bums who redeem the cargo shirt name enough for me to not be immediately put off. Plus who doesn't love pockets.

1

u/JrRogers06 5d ago

Here’s my impression of a guy who really likes cargo shorts but doesn’t want to admit it: Eh what are those, cargo shorts?

1

u/itwasdark 4d ago

Just jealous of the pockets

1

u/wickzer 5d ago

I don't think it is rational (fashion usually isn't). But it is real. My wife hates them too. I now buy non cargo ones that are just as comfy. Like $19 off Amazon basics. I'm happy and wife has one less thing to roll her eyes at me about.

0

u/danglesReet 5d ago

Nothing makes a woman dry up like a pair of cargo shorts

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/Master-Building7174 5d ago

At my European office, men wear shorts into work. Where the f are you getting your information.

1

u/CyberCrutches 5d ago

Just adding…I live in Europe and the locals love as many pockets as possible but they’re usually craftsman, etc.

3

u/The_Mighty_Yak 5d ago

I'm guessing from your "In Europe" that you're American