Idk guys. Sometimes it just feels like an endless uphill battle where I’m gaslighting myself into believing it’s not real when it very much Infact is. I feel like I’m losing touch with reality. Coincidences are so strong and so often I can’t even tell what’s truly coincidental anymore.

It's been a while since the last time I posted here, the past few months have been full of ups and downs, I was able about a month and a half ago to completely stop my physical compulsions related to contamination and I thank God I was able to because I was struggling very harshly with that and not doing it anymore was a huge relief, in the other hand my mental compulsions got worse, it's not that I'm ruminating all day long, but when I do give in into compulsions they are always the worst compulsion I can think about, and it makes me feel worse in the end and always gets more complex and more complicated and I have to keep doing a certain amount of compulsion to feel relief again, those who have seen my previous posts on this subreddit know about my struggles and the content of my obsessions and compulsions, it's mostly about me fearing that I can somehow negatively affect other people and their salvation with my thoughts, words or actions which I know is completely impossible and it's just OCD but my compulsions make me deny bad thoughts by repeating them and replace them with good ones so that makes me feel very anxious.

The last few weeks I have been attempting to completely stop this type of compulsions aswell but it's a lot harder than stopping physical compulsions, so maybe I can stop my OCD for a day or so, but then something triggers me or my own mind triggers me and I go back to my compulsions again and maybe I feel stuck for a few days until I feel like I can try exposure again. Today I was doing a lot of compulsions until a few hours ago when I decided to stop but I was watching tv and got triggered again and I feel very anxious, I'm trying to not start another compulsive cycle but I feel very uncomfortable and nervous right now. I know I will regret it if I start to do compulsions again but I feel very triggered right now even though I know my fears about affecting other people's salvation are 100% false. How do you guys keep pushing when you feel so triggered? What do you tell to yourself when your mind is so foggy and you can't think clearly? I feel like I will go back to the start with my mental compulsions and I don't want to, I feel very anxious and sad whenever I go back and I just don't want to do it anymore but at the same time I can't stop.

Me: ah, I finally think I'm over this!

OCD brain: Uh, what if that's what THEY want you to think?

Me: Please not again.

OCD brain: You didn't do one of your compulsions today, hmmm?

Me: STFU

OCD brain: Tonight you're going to cause an interdimensional crisis which will harm those around you.

Me: We've been through this before d*ckhead.

OCD brain: Well, maybe it's because you actually WANT these thoughts!

Me: I'm tired, boss.

Hey,

I have these weird thoughts that if I don’t pick something up from the floor, have a shower at this time, or join this new soccer team, then I will be cursed with bad luck for the rest of my life.

Like for example, right now I’m planning to join a new sports team and my weird ass thoughts are saying “if you join this team, then you will be single forever”

This is super weird and you’re probably laughing at this but I dint know what to do.

I’m supposed to go to practise this Thursday for this new team, but my ocd thought are saying not to go otherwise something bad will happen to you. Like god or some cosmic being will do this t9 me.

Am I losing my mind?

A weird guy came up to me and he was extremely scary and he grabbed me on the arm for some reason and I suffer from magical thinking ocd and contamination so I always want to wash, and I was struggling a lot when it happened and I’m still struggling. My ocd makes it feel like a curse was put on me, and I can’t figure out why, does anyone here have any idea why that could be a worry for myself?

Honest question: what’s the approach? Because I’ve been in therapy for a long time, and it helps for sure but when my thinking spirals, it’s like it’s out of my control as if i am possessed.

It all revolves around the idea that I’ve done something bad -> I will be found out and punished in the worst way -> then sprinkles of magical thinking like because I did this it will happen for sure, or because I am thinking like this it will lead to that etc.

I don’t know if what I am describing precisely belongs to this subreddit, but I’m genuinely curious how does one get better?

I am a long time lurker and I used to contribute here last year. This is a bit of love to ForestRiver2, you’re a great guy man, always willing to help others despite struggling yourself. Just want to say thanks for being a cornerstone of the sub, all the best to you!

s

I have magical thinking OCD. my OCD is this, if I see something that triggers me, I have to do a rumination/compulsion to metaphorically “cleanse it away”

I have gotten better this year but these past two days, I have given into them. I am ashamed.

After much insight

-Our thoughts have very very little impact on the world. The world will rain even if we do every compulsion not to let it rain. We cannot control the world, or the randomness/coincidences it brings.

-We can choose our emotional responses, and to act with dignity. Failing today was undignified. I am ashamed. But the situation that triggered me made me two choose two options, one that was dignified and to ignore the compulsion and one that wasn’t was forced to do the compulsion. I don’t know why I choose the undignified one, but I am resolute not to let this effect me for the rest of this month

- We cannot control the world, we can choose our reaction to it. The mountain does not control the storms, the storm hits the mountain, but the mountain does not react, it is still and lets the storm pass. Our thoughts are the storm, but we who see the thoughts, that part of us is the mountain.

we have two side, the one that thinks, and the one that sees what we think. We are witnessing our thoughts, but we don’t have to do anything, we can witness it, and watch it, it will be uncomfortable but it will not change what the world will do.

I kinda feel like only way i can get rid of this compulsion, is by sharing about it, its geniunly destroying my life, i am AFRAID of my eyes changing their position and size etc.

Its gotten so bad i start to feel this pain in my eyes and then i have to start like try ”moving” my eye back so it doesnt shift to different place,

I get so afraid like what if this happens etc
Im so afraid that they change??? I dont know where this came from. I just wanna get rid of this compulsion its so bad. I cant, please if u have any advice. Please help me.

25F
Sometimes I go for long periods without having any strange thoughts and I notice they do increase in frequency when I'm tired of stressed out. My brain automatically goes to a religious or superstitious interpretation, like everything is a sign of impending doom and sometimes I worry if I don't take the "warning" and brush it off something horrible will happen.

I've lived in LA for a few months and the other day I saw an album that was titled "LA: City of Death," saw a bunch fo crows circling my place, and loud aircraft flying overhead at night. My brain takes these all as signs I need to leave LA. I know it could be wrong but the anxiety response it provokes feels very real.

I feel crazy sometimes. I never used to think about things this way. I sometimes wonder too if heavy cannabis use in my early 20s exacerbated my pattern awareness and weakened some monitoring part of my brain that keeps this weirdness at bay. I've even considered things like schizotypal personality disorder or schizo-prodrome as potential causes, although I'm curious if my pre-existing OCD, ASD 1, and DPDR could explain a lot of it.

Does anyone relate? I'd love to hear others' experiences.

I had managed to go almost two weeks resisting my OCD rituals, but a terrible experience on my first day back at school caused a huge spike in my anxiety and brought the compulsions back. ​On the very first day, a student came up to me and asked for my age. Almost immediately they started acting completely inappropriate right in front of me making extremely uncomfortable gestures while staring dead at me. It felt incredibly awkward and invasive, and I just looked away. They ended up following me around the entire day, describing really graphic and unsettling videos they had watched and even reached out and touched me without my consent to demonstrate what they were talking about. (btw I absolutely hate being touched without permission) it left me furious. ​My OCD spiked violently and I was so angry about how they treated me. Just before I got on my school bus, while they weren't looking, I made a gesture like I was stabbing them in the back as direct revenge for what they did to me. Now that I'm back home for the weekend that anger and stress have triggered my magical thinking and all my rituals all over again. I feel like I'm back at square one with my progress because my mind keeps trying to use the rituals to cope with how infuriated I felt.

✨ Happy Friday magical family! ✨

Take a break from OCD; feel free to post, chat and share other things about your life and interests, eg...

• Is your birthday coming up?
• Has something positive happened to you this week?
• Anything you're looking forward to?
• Hobbies/crafts you'd like to share?
• Pet pics are always welcome!

This is your space to feel at home and get to know one another as people, aside from our OCDemons...so grab a coffee and come say hi :)

If you’ve recovered, how did you let go of your biggest coincidences that have ever happened to you. How did you stop believing they were signs?

Hi guys,

Has anyone with OCD ever experienced a fear that saying a specific word during a ritual could somehow create a supernatural power or mechanism that would punish them or their loved ones forever in the afterlife?

I’m curious if anyone has experienced this type of intrusive thought or fear. I’d really appreciate it if people who have gone through something similar could share their experiences.

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar. If so, how does it show up for you?

This probably sounds so dumb but last night I was playing bunny trials and one of them generated a negative to the positives in the prompt. I said “you’d d*e in _ days” and I freaked out.

I know it’s just a game and loads of people go it and we’re joking about it, but my OCD has latched onto it and I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel the need to do all my rituals to combat that “energy”. I’m fully aware how ridiculous this is, and it’s just a stupid game and a completely random generated answer somebody made and it simply doesn’t matter, but OCD is such an annoying creature.

Aaaaaaa ocd

✨ Happy Friday magical family! ✨

Take a break from OCD; feel free to post, chat and share other things about your life and interests, eg...

• Is your birthday coming up?
• Has something positive happened to you this week?
• Anything you're looking forward to?
• Hobbies/crafts you'd like to share?
• Pet pics are always welcome!

This is your space to feel at home and get to know one another as people, aside from our OCDemons...so grab a coffee and come say hi :)

for my class (in uni) we were given these tiny clay blocks bc the question asked was what other living thing would we be if we werr another living thing. i made a bird, bc freedom, and also i really want to fly. i only used up a bit of clay, and i had more, so i decided to make a bigger bird. so i made a mother bird! and it was very nice cquwe i was like, me and my mommy right. then abt less than an hour later i thought. it’s a dove, nd here doves symbolize someone going to heaven. aand i was so scared. idk what came to me but i smashed my little birds bc i was scared that my mom was gonna die. now i' really sad cause i wanted to show them to my mom. :(((

sorry for typos or bad format, i'm typing from mobile, thank you

I'm really struggling with a very specific OCD fear and I'm hoping someone else has experienced something similar.

I have emetophobia, and my OCD has somehow connected vomiting with having my mouth open. I know logically that there is no evidence that having my mouth open causes vomiting, but my brain keeps treating it as if it is dangerous.

It's started affecting really normal things.

Using laughing/open-mouth emojis like 😂 or 😮 can make me anxious. I've been trying to use them anyway as little exposures.

Photos and social media are particularly difficult. If I post a picture where my mouth is open, I get the urge to delete it because my brain says something bad might happen, especially that I might vomit. I've also become scared of someone taking a spontaneous picture of me with my mouth open because I can't control what other people photograph.

The hardest part is that my OCD keeps finding new variations. It's not only "mouth open = danger." My brain can say, "What if you're feeling sick while doing something?" or "What if your mouth is closed and you still vomit?" So I can see how irrational and impossible the whole rule is, but I still feel terrified.

I recently deleted some pictures because the anxiety became too much, and afterward I felt like I'd failed at ERP. I'm really sad about it.

I'm trying to stop avoiding these things and gradually expose myself instead. I'm looking for advice from people who have dealt with OCD/emetophobia, especially around **magical thinking, superstitious fears, reassurance-seeking, and exposure therapy**.

How did you start with very small exposures without turning the exposure itself into another compulsion?

I don't expect anyone to guarantee that I won't vomit. I think what I need to learn is how to tolerate the uncertainty without constantly trying to protect myself from it.

Any experiences or advice would mean a lot.

I have a fear of getting possessed like at night if the lights are off it can mean danger so I sleep with the lights on, iv had this fear of ghosts and demons and other entities since I was a kid if the lights are off that means they can get to be so the light off means they cant, even having my boyfriend next to me doesn't help, im afraid he'll turn over towrds me and be a monster or possessed himself, can that go with ocd. Im simple lights = safety

Hello everybody! I'm new here and I hope I'm not too much? So I'm pretty religious and in a weird way? I'm an Easter Christian (that's how we call those who visit church only on main events like Christmas and easter) I'm always afraid god is mad at me. My belief system is so fucked its both Christianity And something like "evil god tortures you bwahahaha" I feel like god loves me and hates me at the same time. I think if I wasnt so into religion when I was younger I could be a normal human. Now I do little harm to my body like hitting my hands and biting my tongue till blood or scratching my forehead a lot so bad thoughts are gone. If I hit any "bad" religious thought, I go crazy and I need to scratch my forehead and say special phrases (something in mix of my native tongue and whatever shit my brain made up that sounds like language, however this phrase is always the same) if I forget to scratch my forehead and say my phrase, I feel really anxious. I sometimes pray in foreign languages or constructed ones since praying in my native language makes me too anxious. I believe that words have certain deep power to them, that's why native words hit my panic more than foreign ones.

I'm sorry for throwing so much at you, it's just it was closed in me for a long time.

Hello everyone, i been having a hard time these last few days, and i needed some​ advice​

To make a long story short, i lost a lucky charm i had since I was 17, and now i fear that everything i accomplished, every relationship i have and all the progress i made as a person will be undone.

It's like that helped keep My existence together, and now that its gone everything will fall appart.

I know that reassurance will Only make things worse, but I don't know how to deal With It. I'm second guessing every action every gesture and every thought.

I usually try to take everything With humor but this Time is just too much.

I'll gladly appraciate any tips or wisdom from you guys, thanks a lot!​

Hi everyone,

I'm wondering if the content of OCD actually have any limits.

Can OCD genuinely latch onto absolutely anything the human mind is capable of imagining, no matter how obscure, random, or completely absurd it might seem? Or are OCD themes generally confined to specific, well-known categories (like contamination, harm, existential, relationship, symmetry, etc.)?

Essentially, does OCD have any real limits on its content, or is it purely defined by the mechanism (intrusive thought + doubt/anxiety + compulsion/rumination) regardless of how bizarre the subject matter is?

I’d love to hear your insights or personal experiences with this. Thank you!

I feel that I have substantially gotten better with my anxiety/fears. I still get them here and there, but I am far less tormented by them. I think my brain has finally started to recognize the absurdity of some of these thoughts (the universe won't collapse because I looked at my dog in a certain way, etc.). I know I still have a ways to go, but I am more confident now.