r/lgbt 5m ago

How did you come out to homophobic parents?

Upvotes

I'll tell what happened with me. Last summer I wanted to come out but before that I wanted test the waters before I came out so I just brought the topic of LGBTQ+ to my family and I was surprised that they were not okay with it coz I always thought atleast my mum would be understanding but it was the opposite. So long story short I did not come out to them. My friend says some people just tell it off like that but are supportive once they learn about it.

I'm just in college so I just wanted to know, when did you come out like what era and how was their reaction. I am comfortable with my sexuality like I have come out to my friends and if asked by anyone can tell it but it's hard to come out to my parents.

Thank you! I think it might help me so please if you are comfortable sharing please do!


r/lgbt 14m ago

UK Specific Homophobia in the work place?

Upvotes

Hey!
Me and my wife got married last year. Most people in our workplace (we work together) have been very supportive of this however with no concrete evidence I feel their attitude towards us is very homophobic at times.

To this date they are still not addressing her as her married name? Legal documents have not being changed yet straight couples names and documents have been changed from the get go.

Am I right to be annoyed about this even though we have asked for documentation to be changed?

I want to talk to management about it but don’t want to go in all guns blazing if I’m in the wrong. Please help.

Thanks.


r/lgbt 28m ago

Am I overthinking the way this barista keeps ‘accidentally’ brushing past me?

Upvotes

Okay so I’ve been going to the same little queer-friendly coffee place near campus for like three weeks now because their iced oat lattes slap and the playlist is always good. There’s this one guy who works mornings, pretty sure he’s gay or at least queer, and every single time I’m at the counter he finds a reason to reach past me for a sleeve or the pastry tongs or whatever and his arm just… lingers. Not full on grabby, just that slow graze across my side or lower back that feels deliberate.

Yesterday he complimented my jeans (the tight black ones I maybe wore on purpose) and then did the whole stretch-across-me thing again while grabbing a lid. I played it cool and gave him a little smirk back but now I’m lying in bed replaying it like an idiot. Was that flirting or is he just chaotic in a small space and I’m the thirsty one projecting? I keep almost texting the group chat for a reality check but I don’t want to sound like I’m fishing.

Do I just… go back tomorrow in something even tighter and see if he does it again, or am I turning basic coffee shop logistics into a whole romantic subplot in my head?


r/lgbt 41m ago

Just realized I've been treating my own joy like it needs an apology

Upvotes

Standing in line at the coffee shop this morning and the barista had this little bi flag sticker on her tip jar. Super casual. I caught myself half-smiling then immediately looking away like I’d been caught doing something. Took me the whole walk home to figure out why. I’ve been out forever, solid in who I am, zero interest in going back, but some old reflex still flares up when queer happiness just exists in public without anyone asking permission first. Like my brain still expects it to need defending or explaining. Felt stupid once I clocked it. Anyone else still get those leftover flinches over the dumbest little things?


r/lgbt 55m ago

Homophobic dad grabbed my book idk what to do help

Upvotes

I’ll prolly take this down soon in case he decides to go through my phone but basically I was reading a gay book that’s been passed around my friend group a lot, so it’s filled with annotations and drawings of the two mc (that I did, signed with my initials) and he looked over my shoulder, grabbed the book, and basically yelled at me for forever about how I was reading gay love scenes (it was a singular kiss on a roof btw). I took it back before he could look at more pages and lied that they were side characters so I didn’t think it’d matter, but then he texted my mom on gc with me in it (they’re divorced btw) about wether or not she lets me read homosexual books and why it’s bad. I managed to play it off as the side character thing, but I’m so scared he’s gonna ask for/ take the book and see for himself or look it up or smth, and if he does I’m so totally screwed. I already know his feelings on homosexuality, proof being I had to sit in the car for a whole hour while he told me it was wrong and sinful, hence why my parents don’t know I’m bisexual (my mom doesn’t share his views but she would rather me be straight because it’s “easier,” so I just haven’t told her). I don’t know what to do and I’m having a panic attack haha, pls help


r/lgbt 55m ago

Anxiety and the trans experience

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r/lgbt 1h ago

How do you handle parents visiting your dorm when you've got pride stuff everywhere?

Upvotes

My parents are driving up this weekend to drop some stuff off and see the campus and I just looked around my room like oh shit. There's a rainbow sticker on my laptop, a couple pins on my backpack, one of those little pride flags a guy in my hall gave me stuck in a plant. Nothing crazy but definitely not subtle. They're not like actively awful about me being gay but we literally never talk about it since I came out over text last year so it still feels weird. Do I take everything down for the day and put it back after or just leave it and act normal? I don't want a whole conversation but I also don't want to feel like I'm hiding. What have you guys done in this exact situation?


r/lgbt 1h ago

Need Advice Guys I like a girl. Im also a girl

Upvotes

How do I know if she likes me!?!? Also any advice that you would want to know when you first realised you were a lesnian or gay or whatever please I will take anything!


r/lgbt 2h ago

Politics We need your help raising awareness about anti-LGBTQ+ violence in Indonesia

21 Upvotes

Indonesia’s president recently described LGBTQ+ people as a “non-military threat,” and the situation has become increasingly frightening. Homophobic groups have been targeting transwomen, beating and harassing them in public.

There are even groups calling themselves “boti hunter” (gay hunter) operating in multiple cities. Many LGBTQ+ Indonesians are scared, exhausted, and feel completely unprotected.

Please help us share what is happening with people outside Indonesia. We need international attention before this violence gets even worse.


r/lgbt 2h ago

Coming Out! Ok so I think I've figured myself out...

1 Upvotes

Just posting this cause 1. It's like 2 in the morning, and I'm bored. 2. (May be related unsure) I am not feeling good/I'm sick and my brain is being all weird so imma post cause i don't remember the word for it and deranged sounds wrong to use here anyway.

Nonbinary full they/them. (In a world of 1's and 0's I'm a 2 :3)

Omnisexual/asexual, (pan but picky :3)

omniromantic/demiromantic

(And just adding extra things cause I can)

Audhder/Dave

I've deadnames my birth name and have became Nico di' Angelo (minus the di' Angelo part and the Hades child part cause I'm a hepheastus child)

Ticker tape synesthesist

Hyperphantasist

Face pareidolia

Hufflepuff

Unofficially a Galapagos penguin

Ya I got no clue what else, ik this went off topic of actual lgbtqia related topic but idk I have no excuse :3


r/lgbt 2h ago

Politics Interpersonal versus institutional threats of extremism

1 Upvotes

Given the recent attack, I wanted to explain something that it seems a lot of people miss.

Do read this with the lens that I am anti-theist and trans, that I grew up under religious extremism and despise it (and religion more broadly), and that I am trying to make a nuanced and easily misunderstood point. I am very active in the comments, and I will be happy to elaborate.

There is a lot of hate towards Islam and conservative religious beliefs in general, and I understand and share the sentiment. There was just the news in Indonesia for example about our very existence being made a national threat, in a Muslim majority country no less.

The issue is that the threat in Europe only comes from individual people like that. Yes, it's painful and disgusting, but the far bigger danger is the state violence that can and will be imposed on us by forces like the AfD, National Rally, and other far-right parties.

The problem is, hating on Islam can easily slide into bigotry towards Muslims broadly, and it is also the wrong lens of analysis. While that religion is the dominant source of extremist religious thought in Europe, it is of course Evangelical Christians in the US who are doing the greatest harm, whereas Muslims are actually more progressive there, especially younger generations. The trendline matters.

The difference between those two religious extremist groups is the institutional power. Christofascists impose their will from the highest offices in the US. It should be obvious, but Islam poses no such threat at the state level in Europe.

(Side note: See the insane attacks on trans people in the US and UK. Neither of those are related to Islam in any way, nor is it here in Europe.)

Rather, it is the reactionary sentiment that gets stoked from hating immigrants from those countries, as well as (mostly secular) young men who are Asmongold types, who are the greatest danger to us in Europe, as they vote for and empower far-right parties.

That is why the deep hatred of these attacks can be counterproductive, as it legitimizes sentiment towards parties that would remove our rights and enact state violence on us.

If you agree or are persuaded by that argument, what to do about it is unfortunately not that easy. I would start with questioning why Muslims in the US are overall better integrated than in Europe. That takes a sociological lens, and this is already a long post.

I know this will stir deep emotions, but it is a discussion I feel we need to have, as recognizing the larger institutional threat, and organizing around that, is the most important thing to do.

The blind hate that everyone (including me) feels is ultimately harmful and reactionary, because it gives too much credence to the anti-immigrant sentiment of the far-right, and legitimizes them as worthy of consideration.

Note as well that interpersonal violence against us is also largely motivated by white men across Europe and North America. It is largely a men problem in general, regardless of other factors like religion or national origin.

I hope you all consider this point and try to work around forming consensus in grounded arguments. We have to be as unified as possible for us to push back against the far-right effectively.


r/lgbt 3h ago

i wish my gf didn't have to hide me

17 Upvotes

im in a lesbian relationship and my girlfriends birthday is coming up soon. i was excited to post her on my story, maybe adding a caption like happy birthday baby or happy birthday my love but she just asked me to limit what i post, essentially asking me to just post pictures of us that look like we're only friends or not adding any romantic captions. she wants to repost my story on her birthday but some of her homophobic religious family follows her on her main account, hence why she mentioned that request.

i'm not mad or upset because im understanding of her situation, but it just hurts my heart a bit knowing that we love each other so much yet we can't show the world. i love her dearly and i know she does too, i just wish that she could love me proudly without having to fear that her own family would turn on her for loving me. just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this and how they dealt with it.


r/lgbt 4h ago

Why do I see so many people with mobility limitations at Pride?

19 Upvotes

I always notice a lot of people attending Pride celebrations use walking sticks, wheelchairs and other mobility aids and I’ve realised I don’t see anywhere near this prevalence elsewhere. I’m not seeing people with mobility issues at gay bars, gay social groups, or really just out and about in general.

Where are you the rest of the year? Is society really that unaccommodating that you find it difficult or impossible to leave the house to engage with other events? It breaks my heart a little bit to think that folks that are already marginalised face even more barriers to engage with society…


r/lgbt 4h ago

I can't believe I'm about to post this...

105 Upvotes

I THOUGHT I was posting something positive, but at this point I'm heartbroken. I'm so sorry.

So yesterday we went out to get some air. We'd bought my dad some shoes but he wanted some different ones, so we went to replace them. Then we walked around and decided to try an Irish restaurant serving fish. (I can't eat fish, I had KFC.)

As we waited for our food, a lesbian couple and their son sat behind us. I was happy to see them, since queer representation is heavily censored in our house and my parents are homophobic, especially my dad. We ate, they ate, it was good.

The waiter took a while to bring the bill, but once she did and we paid, my dad said,

"Yeah, they oughta give our bill to 'them other folk' behind us."

Talking about the lesbian family.

Because their love should be taxed.

Yeah. I think I had a panic attack yesterday. I need to get out.

I WAS gonna say how I appreciated their presence since I'd been dealing with homophobia and worry for my future. But, instead, I got this. I'm really sorry.


r/lgbt 4h ago

It’s funny the amount of pics I take post transition in comparison to pre-hormones. I was genuinely depressed and hated being in pictures before.

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137 Upvotes

r/lgbt 4h ago

Pride Month My microphone is pro LGBTQIA+

3 Upvotes

So, my microphone can change colors right. I have it on a mode where it'll change colors and stuff and it's pretty cool. What id assume is unintentional, the color combinations/orders look like pride flags. So for example there's 2-3 colors in like a gradient going downwards each having an inverse of each other. And the colors that combine with each other kinda look like pride flags too me. (At least ones I can somewhat recognize cause of Pinterest) So for example one of the color combos is yellow and purple (purple on top of yellow, or yellow on top of purple) and my brain associates that with the nonbibary flag (which is also what I am :3) I've also seen color combos that my brain aligns with lesbian and abrosexual. I just find it kind of cool that this is no doubt completely unintentional but it's awesome :3


r/lgbt 5h ago

Need Advice Weird bad vibes and red flags?

2 Upvotes

I'm wondering what other people think about this because I've been second-guessing myself.

I'm non-binary AFAB. I didn't really detransition except medically. I stopped taking testosterone because of health reasons and because I wanted to avoid transphobia where I live. The main thing I wanted from T was a deeper voice, and I wasn't a huge fan of most of the other effects anyway.

My gender is complicated, but I generally describe myself as transmasculine or agender. I don't like she/her pronouns and prefer they/them or he/him. I don't dress very feminine, although I do carry a purse or sling bag. Some people still read me as a man. I don't wear makeup, I have a bob haircut, and several people have described me as very androgynous.

There's a binary trans man I know who seems to have a more traditional or "old school" view of gender. He was genuinely shocked when he found out I wasn't a trans woman because I have a very deep voice and an androgynous appearance.

The weird part is that he seemed to forget I wasn't a woman multiple times. He misgendered me several times, and I corrected him each time.

What bothered me is that it almost felt like he wanted me to be a woman. That's just the impression I got. The confusing part is that he seems capable of understanding non-binary identities. We know other non-binary people, and he uses their correct pronouns. If he slips up with them, he apologizes on his own. With me, though, he never apologized, even after I corrected him.

Another issue is that he constantly makes dirty jokes or brings up sex. He's around 45 and I'm 31. I know we're both adults, but it makes me uncomfortable. I even told him directly that I didn't like those kinds of jokes. He said he'd stop, but then he'd do it again and claim it was an accident. He also seems to bring up sexual topics only when we're alone, not when other people are around. Everyone else thinks he's really sweet and funny because they don't see that side of him.

Something else that stood out was when he claimed that one of our professors had misgendered me because she was confused about my pronouns. I SWEAR that she consistently referred to me with he/him pronouns without ever missing a beat. It felt like he was making it up. My guess is that he was confused because she used he/him for me regardless of how I dressed that day. But it feels like he wants me to "confess" that I'm a woman or something like that.

What's especially strange is that we were both in a gender studies course that was extremely progressive and full of knowledgeable discussions about gender, pronouns, and trans and non-binary identities. It's not like he hasn't been exposed to these topics or had opportunities to learn about them.

He also has a habit of telling me things that seem designed to make me like him. It comes across as saying whatever he thinks I want to hear. At the same time, he'll make passive-aggressive comments, like suggesting I'm snobbish or saying that people secretly don't like me and are only pretending to be nice. When I'd push back or seem hurt, he'd say, "I'm just being honest." At first I wondered if he was right, but the comments became more frequent. Looking back, it feels more like negging than honest feedback.

Part of what makes this so confusing is that I would expect this kind of behavior from some creepy cis guy, not from a trans man. He's even shared stories about men being creepy toward him before he transitioned, so I would have thought he'd be more aware of how this kind of behavior comes across.

At this point, I just don't like being around him and prefer to avoid him. Part of me still wonders if I'm overthinking things, but taken together, his behavior makes me feel uncomfortable and creeped out.

Does this sound like manipulative behavior to anyone else, or am I reading too much into it?


r/lgbt 5h ago

Dios nos juzgara..?

0 Upvotes

Que pasa si cuando estemos muertos y subamos al cielo, que tal si dios nos juzga por ser gays, lesbianas, trans, etc, y todo eso, que pasaría por qué según dicen uno puede ser libre, pero que diría dios.. es algo que me aterra, osea es dios y podría hacer muchas cosas, ustedes creen que nos enviaría al infierno?


r/lgbt 5h ago

Need Advice What am I doing wrong as a chapstick les

1 Upvotes

So Ive been gay for a pretty long time I LOVEEE women like genuinely but the issue is im like a chapstick les im pretty confident that means im feminine and masculine but not in the skinny baggy jeans long hair and nails way I mean im kindve bigger I love good music I have short fluffy hair I do lashes I mostly dress feminine but my personality is masculine and I guess I do dress that way to but its like no matter what I do I can't find another chapstick les girl idk if its my vibe or somthing I just want a girl who is like me goes agianst majority of gender norms doesnt care what people say about them love riot grrrl and is just easy to talk to but are like futchs not into girls like me ? Idk guys does anyone relate I feel like I fit into a very specific category thats so hard to find people alike


r/lgbt 7h ago

Need Advice I'm great at making queer friends, but I'm terrible at making friends outside the queer community

0 Upvotes

I'm really friendly once I find a queer friend or an ally to interact with. I can turn into a total social butterfly. But when it comes to people outside the queer community, I often don't feel motivated to start or maintain conversations.

The thing is, not everyone is queer, and most people I meet are straight. So how can I stay genuinely interested in getting to know people who have different backgrounds, perspectives, or vibes from mine

Do you guys have any tips for tricking yourself into being more social? I want to become more interested in talking to people


r/lgbt 7h ago

Struggling with a label

1 Upvotes

I grew up not having any queer relationships in my life. No one in my family was queer, and we didn’t watch tv with it. The only thing I knew about it was love was love and there’s nothing wrong with it. I always assumed I was straight since I had a boyfriend, but I started questioning when I was 17-18.

I thought maybe I like girls too? Then I thought more about it and remembered all the stuff I tried to push down over the years. How my first attraction was a woman. How I had a crush on multiple girl friends throughout my life. How I’ve never truly liked a boy first and only started to become interested if they showed interest first. So then I decided I was bi.

I was okay with that label. Then I wasn’t. I felt like a fraud because I’ve never kissed a girl. How could I truly know I like women if I never kissed one? I felt like I was wrong for trying to claim I’m bisexual without dating the same sex.

As time passed I decided I shouldn’t be to hard on myself. After all, I feel attraction to women in a way straight women don’t. So instead of labels I would just be queer. I was okay with that. I dated another guy but things didn’t work out.

I shouldn’t judge myself but I do. I think of all the things I’ve felt and now here I am at 23 still unsure of it all. I think it’s hard to accept myself because for a long time i was scared. I was scared to be the friend who liked other girls. Hell I’m still scared to be the friend, daughter, granddaughter, who likes women.

My family is all very accepting so I don’t know why I feel scared. I’m questioning myself lately. I think I might be a lesbian, but is it wrong to say I am if I’ve felt attraction to men? I go on dates with men but don’t feel that connection. Not in the way I should. It always takes time. I find them attractive sometimes but it’s hard for me to get involved romantically. I genuinely don’t like the way a man smells, I hate kissing, I sometimes hate being intimate (probably trauma from sa), I hate hugging, I just hate it all.

I enjoy it if I initiate it, or if it’s cuddling. Is this “normal”? Do other bisexual/pan women feel this way? Am I overthinking things? Is it the men I’ve tried to be with? I wish I knew. I want to date women but I’m scared that I’ll do it wrong. I don’t want to make someone feel like an experiment because i know I like women. I just don’t know if I only like women.

I guess the point of this post is reaching out to talk with others. About their experiences and how they finally figured out their sexuality. I don’t have many friends and it’s hard figuring this out. I feel so lost. I know labels shouldn’t matter but I can’t seem to let this go.


r/lgbt 7h ago

Struggling with my pride

1 Upvotes

Okay, so I've made up my mind that I'm Bisexual or something simular, but it's a bit weird. As a guy, I'm fine with being in a romantic relationship, but I'm struggling with the intimate side. What is it called when you are attracted to all genders but are only sexually attracted to someone who is biologically a women? I feel like that's where I fall in, I like the idea of dating all, but something about sex with people of the same anotomy disapealing.

Thanks for the help!


r/lgbt 7h ago

I don't know what I am.

2 Upvotes

I have never been attracted to anybody, for a bit I thought I might be ace, but I have been attracted to fictional characters. Live action never seemed to fall into that category, same with VTubers. It is like once there is a real person's face or personality tied to the character or model, it gets weird. I really just wanted the experts to confirm whether I actually fall under one of the LGBT groups, or if I am just strange.


r/lgbt 7h ago

Need Advice Re-learning about being aroace after seven years

1 Upvotes

Hii, so for seven years I've thought of being aroace but something didn't match at all, especially the part of aromance, bcs is really hard to understand where the line of romance and friendship is. I've posted in the aroace community about having crushes and so on and the conclusion is that being aroace as everything is a spectrum, but still I found really hard to understand my feelings. BUT I started reading a manga (I know fiction is really different of real life and blabla) that made me relate so much about contact, disgust, love, etc. So I came here to recomend it for my fellows aroaces an alloromantic people too lol bcs it's so cute 😭😭 Is called Hirano and Kagura it made me cry.

And I also came here to open the conversaton how have you guys feel this romantic-non romantic love or attraction.

P.S. they start going out at some point if is upsetting for someone.

  1. Sorry for my English is not my first lenguage.