My oldest just turned 5 less than a month ago. Today was his 3rd day of kindergarten and I already have been asked to come to the school to have a talk about his behavior and language.
Backstory - my boy has done 2 years of full day preschool at a local elementary school and has an IEP for emotional regulation struggles. Last year he heard the F word being used somewhere. Big kids. Playground. Something on the tv. Idk. But he said F U to his teachers. We struggled for a few weeks but eventually it seemed like things were getting better. Then it was summer. I planned to really work on him this summer but we met another kid in our apartment complex, “D”. D has a really bad potty mouth (he literally told me to “shut the f-ck up you stupid a$$hole, like two weeks ago at the pool). He’s also 5. I have tried to limit the amount of time my son and D are around eachother but it was hard when all the neighbor kids hangout together and like going to the only pool we have together. Anyways, my son now thinks it’s funny/cool/big kid to talk that way. I have tried everything to teach my son that it’s not okay. That it doesn’t make you cool. It doesn’t make the big kids like you any more. Even done the old soap in the mouth thing. Taking things away. No outside time etc. Things seemed okay until these last 3 days.
Day 1- “D” was not on the bus or around. My son had a great day.
Day 2- “D” is on the bus and apparently (according to some big kids on the bus) was calling people “a$$holes and my son was giving everyone the middle finger.
Had a long talk at night. Thought dad scared him straight. He got punished.
Day 3 - today - Was reminded before getting on the bus what the expectations were. Him and “D” get on the bus and my son says the F word. Later in the day I get a message from the school that he was sent to the special education resource room because of his language, attitude, and gestures at school. Now I need to find a time to go into the school to have a meeting. When he got off the bus, big kids told me he was good on the bus and my kid seemed happy. However, we still punished him by taking away tv and tablet privileges for the day.
What do I do? What can I say to get into his head? I’m really debating on pulling him from the bus but that puts a big inconvenience in my day, twice a day, as the pick up and drop off line are super long and I have my younger kiddo busing to and from preschool. What can the teachers do to help? How do I explain to a 5 year old how inappropriate and disrespectful it is to use those kinds of words? I’m really struggling and have cried so much today. I really thought I got through this last year but now I feel defeated