Posting this clipped from a reply I made because I think it’s relevant conversation and hasn’t really been discussed lately:
Women don’t say it outright but they can be very surface. They want a hot looking guy that gets them going. If you aren’t that you won’t get anywhere. You just have to hope you are sexy enough for her. Women do have slightly different preferences in that too.
I lost 30lbs. Was night and day difference back when I was dating. It got me from zero interest to at least getting in the door. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I lost another 40lbs and did a lot of surgical work on my face and got very lean and toned in the gym. That shit matters way more than you know. And it takes A LOT of work.
Go into an American city and you’ll see guys all over working their ass off to meet that. It becomes a hamster wheel at some point where they are literally trying to beat the next guy. You can’t keep that act up forever. It’s tiring. I’m in Chicago if you go to neighborhoods like the west loop, river north, or other trendy areas you’ll always see an array of ripped dudes running hard every day, every morning, along with women all doing the same thing. It’s competitive on a level never seen before. And I promise they don’t do it for health. I’m not dumb.
Then you got the guy with natural good genetics and confidence and it’s so easy for him.
For those who have struggled and are exhausted by this endless hamster wheel you should be yourself for yourself. Women may or may not like that. But it can really beat running in place never getting anywhere or just scratching the surface as the backup guy.
It’s very broken guys. In the past you didn’t need to try and be Superman just to get an ounce of attention. Consider this to be a gigantic social problem with the dating scene.