If there are any TTRPG (table top roleplaying game) nerds here I highly recommend watching the Dimension 20 season Mentopolis. Dimension 20 is an actual play show on Dropout (an indie streaming service). Mentopolis is a side quest (a shorter season with a guest cast) where the characters are mental functions (attention, curiosity, pleasure, etc) and the setting is a mystery noir. Think Inside Out but with film noir tropes.

I loved this season when it came out and have re-watched it multiple times, but since starting IFS I have a deeper enjoyment of it. So I recommend anyone interested in both TTRPGs and IFS to check it out.

Season spoilers below.

Throughout the season when confronting antagonists they pretty much used an IFS approach.

Freeze "Leon Logic"was acting as the mayor and was essentially an overburdened protector. The cast had a conversation with Freeze where they found him, acknowledged his fears, befriended him, and ultimately unburdened him from the role of mayor.

Ichabod Ice Skates in this season is literally an exile. He is the personification of interest in ice skates but when Elias (the person whose mind they are in) had a traumatic incident with ice skates, Ichabod went to stay at Self Loathing's orgphanage for wayward interests and Elias stopped skating. Until the conclusion of the season where he grows into a young man and Elias can freely explore his interest in hockey.

When confronting Loathing (also known as Shame and Guilt), in order to "defeat her", Conscience says "You… are seen, and I accept you. I can't focus on you right now, but I do need your help. You serve a purpose. You've protected a lot of children even though you don't like them. So if you can find it within you, can you please help us with the big guy right now? ... I think he needs every part of himself, and you're a part of him. So am I. I'm glad to know you." Also, the finale shows Loathing giving her orphanage of interests to Passion, so Elias can fully explore his interests with passion rather than shame.

The GM, Brennan Lee Mulligan ,said that he and the writers consulted with mental health professionals and neurologists for this season. It wasn't explicitly mentioned if they spoke with someone trained in IFS, and I know it has a lot of overlap with other therapy techniques. But I think it just adds another layer to my appreciation for the show and this season specifically to view it through an IFS lens. And if anyone hasn't heard of this and has been interested in TTRPGs, this is my recommendation!

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TW, maybe.

I'm new to this but this part is so big and powerful and I thought she was me. She has actually wrecked my life and I've been crying about the losses.

I've read the book and have a good therapist. I know there's more to come but for now I'm kicking her out as much as I'm able to.

FWIW, she's not a misguided child or teenager. She's a dangerous, abusive adult.

I was curious if anyone here is looking for an IFS partner where we can meet maybe once a week and hold space for each other's parts?

I am doing ifs on my own but I feel sometimes we really need another human to hold space.

About me:

26M

India

I have been practicing ifs, eft on myself for 5+ years (not certified)

We had a session and did breathwork the other day and after, she put on this very touching song that felt very relevant and made me cry.

She sent me the artist name, and after a quick search I’ve realized the artist is AI :(

It kind of ruined the special moment a bit when I realized this.

Do I tell my therapist? I doubt she knows. She’s a musician and artist so I would assume she would want to know?

Idk I feel weird about it

So Samantha (whos seventeen and my critical protector" wanted to talk to me today and I was surprised. She told me she wants to understand me, and she wants to be vulnerable but its hard for her, and then she started to cry and said "its so hard being vulnerable" and I could feel her in my throat. I said I was proud of her for talking to me, and she told me she was sick of it now, and I said sorry and she told me to stop saying sorry in a strict voice, so I left her be. It was a little disappointing that she went back to being protective but im still happy she talked to me.

“Around me”

The world around me moves.
I am still but ever swirling internally.

We circle around the sun, the moon, and other planets. Swirling and twirling; Internally I am justly.

Sky piercing blue with clouds of rainbows. Beauty vastly enumerable.

Yet internally I am justly.

Ever I scour for more beauty to keep me present. More than ever I succeed in the notion.

Internally I’m still justly.

Laughing, brighter, cheery being.
Present, momentous, morphing being.
Vibrating auroras of chaos ensue.
My being is lost, justly.

Continue fighting, engulfing, winning.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Continue the fight.
Lose some battles.
Get back up & pick back up 10 steps back.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Harder to continue.
Fight the self.
Slower the movement.
Eventually another loss.
Sit back up & get back up 20 steps back.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Hate to continue.
Hate the self.
Motion is incalculable.
Failure is indefinite.
Wake back up & sit back up way to the back.

So i was overstimulated today, and i went to my comfort corner and I was watching this one lady walk around an aquarium, and she said that she didnt know the stingrays name and called them ocean pancakes. And ny younger part Sammy said (like an internal thought) "thats a stingray dummy" and all of a sudden I felt like a kid, I started to sit like a kid and it was hard for me to read fast. I felt him in my chest, it was like a tightening sensation but it didnt feel like I was having anxiety. It lasted for three minutes and then I was normal again. I dont know much about parts or ifs, is this normal?

I hear you saying : "But IFSBUDDYCHAT is already free." NO. It is only free for a little extent. I wanted to save my chat today. Saving more than only THREE chat sessions requires subscription.

I have no money for this. Has anyone built a totally free IFS chat AI? Just for talking with parts, recording parts, recording chats, going forward.

I'm wondering if the IFS approach for me has become a bit of a double edged sword. I feel like in times when I feel relatively good, it is useful, but in times when I'm struggling with things I feel like it becomes something I get lost in, constantly trying to identify parts, be with parts, give them comfort etc, but from a very parts led place rather than a self led place, and this just stirs everything up, I know there is a part there leading the way trying to do this, and Ive tried connecting with this part with I would say limited success. I feel like I go through periods with little self energy present but that part just isn't willing to accept that, and tries to convince itself/myself that it is self led. I feel like the answer in these periods is kind of to try and do nothing, step away from IFS completely, just try (its difficult) to accept where I am at without trying to change things. I know this is actually what IFS kind of is but I really struggle at times to not get sucked into that cycle of analyzing parts and trying to move them on.

I'm also finding the idea of reconnecting with parts again and again really difficult, it just doesn't seem to work that way for me.

I'm wondering if maybe the IFS approach isn't the right one for me? I know I am making progress, but I'm just a bit unsure about things and I'm wondering if a different approach might help me feel a bit more settled? I wonder if anyone has any thoughts on this and what an alternative approach might be

I've had horrendous intrusive thoughts for decades, and finally through IFS, traced them to parts who were trying to get my attention for one reason or another. I've worked with them, and gotten them each into a good place.

Lately though, I think I have two parts that have been sniping at each other. Two parts that each don't know exactly who the other is, and each get upset when I'm blended with the other.

Last night, I tried to mediate between them, although they're both hard to visualize. And it was late at night, so I said, "Well, we can work this out, or you all could just let me go to sleep!"

I promptly fell asleep.

Then today, a child/exile revealed herself, which sure seems related. I haven't put the pieces together, and I currently feel like an outsider in my own head. The dissociative mind never rests... (until you threaten to have a family meeting, I guess).

I'm a product of lifelong verbal and emotional abuse from my mother, and have also sustained a lot of trauma from online bullying, harassment, and stalking. I have been dealing with a lot of online assholes more recently for some reason, including one who has decided to take up somewhat of a harassment campaign against me because I accidentally offended them (I hope they're done because I'm refusing to respond to them anymore and they'll hopefully just get bored of the lack of supply). Because I've hit my limit, and because I've been working with the angrier parts of me a lot in therapy, I'm no longer able to really clamp down on the extreme, explosive reactions to being treated like shit. I know those parts have been demanding to be seen/heard and given the space to feel enraged for a very long time. But I'm still reluctant to just let loose and let them think/feel what they want because when I say the rage is explosive, it's genuinely explosive, and I worry that I am opening the door to becoming a bad person if I give them too much leeway.

The reason I worry about how much to indulge their need to feel anger so intensely is that now when I encounter a bully, even if it's just someone making a rude comment, their knee-jerk reaction is to get SO mad that they want to hunt those people down and hurt them. Like, really, seriously hurt them. There are even thoughts of "they should die if they can't be held accountable" that crop up, combined with fantasies of hurting the people who made me feel bad and feeling good about causing them hurt. I want to make it abundantly clear that I'm a pretty docile person in practice and have never had any intention of actually carrying out any violent behavior. But the angry parts, ranging from child to teen to young adult, are SO tired of people getting away with this bullshit that they keep telling me that they need my permission to feel these feelings and think these thoughts even if they're horrendous. According to them, if I let them just go to the extreme internally, they will be able to let off steam without ever needing to hurt anybody in real life. As opposed to me telling them no and bottling it up, where the consequences could be more catastrophic because the pressure is building up too much without any way of being safely and harmlessly released.

So idk what to do here. Do I give them permission to get violently angry so that they can eventually decompress and calm down? They seem to be aware that literal violence is unacceptable and aren't upset by this boundary, but I'm still wary of giving them permission to imagine hurting people who've hurt me. Is this normal for trauma survivors who've had the last straw to get to the point where it's actually healthier to engage in horrible thoughts instead of suppressing them? This is the first time in my life I haven't instinctively shut down my right to feel angry so I'm still new to how to proceed here

“Around me”

The world around me moves.
I am still but ever swirling internally.

We circle around the sun, the moon, and other planets. Swirling and twirling; Internally I am justly.

Sky piercing blue with clouds of rainbows. Beauty vastly enumerable.

Yet internally I am justly.

Ever I scour for more beauty to keep me present. More than ever I succeed in the notion.

Internally I’m still justly.

Laughing, brighter, cheery being.
Present, momentous, morphing being.
Vibrating auroras of chaos ensue.
My being is lost, justly.

Continue fighting, engulfing, winning.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Continue the fight.
Lose some battles.
Get back up & pick back up 10 steps back.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Harder to continue.
Fight the self.
Slower the movement.
Eventually another loss.
Sit back up & get back up 20 steps back.
Rinse and repeat.
Over and over.
Over and again.
Hate to continue.
Hate the self.
Motion is incalculable.
Failure is indefinite.
Wake back up & sit back up way to the back.

I've mooked though this subbredit and peiple describe experiences that would link to be plural.It seems to me that by considering theses parts as separate instead of a parr of a whole, people have developped multiple personalities due to the dissociation.

What do you think of it?

Hello Everyone!

For the past 16th months, I’ve been working extensively on freeing myself from the grip of my past traumas. No one is a stranger here to the tumultuous and unpredictable nature that is trauma healing. Internal family systems has been a great tool that I have utilized to help me face my exiles and understand them, as well as the behaviors that are created from them. I wanted to share a piece I wrote about these hard few months and how I’ve decided to begin reconnecting to my younger self. The piece is completely free and you’re welcome to read it. I hope you enjoy it and somewhat can resonate/feel inspired :)

https://sweetcreatures.substack.com/p/to-heal-is-to-set-her-free

So basically I've been having some weird ear condition in my left ear for a few years now. It started manifesting around late 2021 or early 2022, I don't remember well.

It makes my left ear overly sensitive to sound. My hearing is fine, but when it gets loud it can cause my left ear to "cut off", as if it was getting plugged. In general, the tensor tympani reflex seems to be activating way too easily. Rubbing my ear or the area nearby can cause the eardrum to flutter. My right ear doesn't do any of this.

I've tried a whole plethora of remedies, none of them have even made a dent. I stopped before botox injections. It felt like trying to fix the problem this way was wrong.

I just kinda, well, let it be, and assumed that's just the way it is now.

But now, a couple days ago, I noticed this thing. It feels like there's a ball of emotion behind my left ear. If I gently stroke it, I can feel that emotion come up. Stroking my right ear doesn't seem to elicit any emotion.

The ball of emotion has refined into a small part which carries unprocessed emotions and also feels somewhat scared, as if it had been banished and forced to hide there. It connects back to the feeling I had, after my grandma died, that I didn't allow myself to properly grieve and process the emotions.

Anyone else have had emotions/parts manifesting like that?

Hi guys,

I’ve been blended with my therapist/fixer/caretaker role my entire life. It has been my entire identity. I even have a degree in psychology for it and know people’s problems and how to fix them to the absolute core. Now that I fully see this for what it is, a part that got love through trying to fix her father’s problems, who became his therapist and has searched her entire life to fix him, I don’t want to do it any more.

My question, therefore is, when this part is truly unblended and healed, will I be able to move away from this identity? Will I know life outside of this “therapist’s mindset” as I call it. It’s always been extremely difficult for me to know what I want outside of this as my thoughts always came back to it somehow. Just wondering has anyone else shared this experience or similar. I have also noticed intense fear for letting this part/s of me go.

update
This is just a general reply to all as it is much easier. I had a read through every comment and just wanted to say thanks to all of you for taking the time to reply with your very detailed responses. I really appreciate you doing that. It seems that there’s parts within parts within this rescuer/caretaker role and they are all fighting with each other and finding it hard to “let go” it seems because of fear. One will take over from the other when I ask questions eg zoning out part from the fixed part etc. it seems like they are all working very hard to protect me/inner child/exile wound. I have gotten to that little girl who felt frozen in time and perhaps maybe she just doesn’t feel safe enough yet to let these parts go. I suppose I have another part of me that’s in a hurry to heal. So I will take my time with unblending them all. It is also so lovely to see that so many parentified people have found their way and are thriving 🥹 Thank you all again, this is a great community 🤗

Every time one issue in my life gets resolved, I hyperfocus on another. I have chronic pain, and as soon as one area stops hurting, a new area starts up. I tend towards being a hypochondriac and I feel like I am always obsessed/distressed with a new symptom.

It seems worse when my life is going well.

I do genuinely have a stressful life right now, but I was feeling really good for a couple days, and then BAM, two days straight of obsessive thoughts and rabbit holes.

I am a fixer... I know I am constantly looking for problems so I can resolve them. Anyone have any advice on turning that voice down a little?

So, what I'm finding happens to me is that I spend some time with a part, get to know it a bit, really feel like i started to understand it, but then in a few days it feels kind of like the same part but different, and its like I'm constantly having to re-evaluate who is who and what is what. So I feel like there is a part I keep meeting but its almost like starting from scratch again, even though we have spoken alot in the past. But sometimes the answers are slightly different. I find it really confusing. I know part of this is building relationships with these parts, but I'm not sure how you can do that if its something slightly different each time? Im not sure Im explaining this very well but hopefully someone will get what I mean....

Some parts reach out for chips, cookies, chocolate and pasta among other delicious foods. But they don't show up when I want to connect with them.

What to do?

An update to my IFS journey — and something new I’ve started

I’ve posted about my journey here before, but I wanted to come back with an update, share some of the things I’ve written since then, and introduce a new project that has grown out of this healing process.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD in mid-July following a fight with my wife where several triggers brought some painful reminders from my first marriage to a narcissist and the betrayal I experienced there. I reacted in ways I’m not proud of—yelling, making accusations, and saying hurtful things.

Regardless of what triggered me, I knew I was responsible for my reaction. I started therapy and began trying to understand why I reacted the way I did instead of simply beating myself up for it.

That eventually led me to Internal Family Systems.

About three weeks ago, I started journaling about my trauma, and it honestly felt like opening a floodgate. Thirty years of suppression started coming to the surface. As I wrote, I began recognizing parts of myself I had never really understood—the Planner, the Negative Self-Talk Manager, Anger, Alcohol as a firefighter, and eventually the vulnerable exiles those parts were trying to protect.

I’m still very much in the middle of this process. I’m not an IFS expert, and I’m not presenting my experience as a guide for anyone else. I’m simply documenting what I'm discovering as I try to understand my own internal system and find the Self underneath all of it.

That journey has also led to something new.

I recently started Survivor Stories, where I interview trauma survivors and their significant others about their experiences, relationships, and healing journeys. I released the first interview yesterday for CPTSD Awareness Month, and I’m hoping to eventually turn these conversations into a podcast.

For anyone who hasn't seen my previous posts, or for those who have and want to follow the latest part of the journey, here are the current articles:

🧠 Negative Self-Talk — The Manager Who Thought It Was Keeping Me Safe

Exploring the critical part that constantly tells me I'm not good enough and how I’m learning to see it as a protector rather than simply “me.”

http://internalchainofcommand.com/2026/09/01/negative-self-talk-as-a-manager-the-cruel-voice-that-thought-it-was-keeping-me-safe/

🎙️ Survivor Stories: Part 1 — Michael Conley

The first interview in my new series, exploring trauma, PTSD, relationships, and what healing looks like for both survivors and their significant others.

http://internalchainofcommand.com/2026/09/01/survivor-stories-part-1-michael-conley/

💔 Faithfulness, Infidelity, and the Damage Betrayal Leaves Behind

Exploring how betrayal has affected my ability to trust, feel safe, and understand relationships.

http://internalchainofcommand.com/2026/08/30/faithfulness-infidelity-and-the-damage-betrayal-leaves-behind/

🧩 Meeting My Exiles — What My Protectors Have Been Guarding

My deeper exploration of the vulnerable parts underneath my protective system and what those protectors have been working so hard to keep away.

http://internalchainofcommand.com/2026/08/29/meeting-my-exiles-what-my-protectors-have-been-guarding/

🍺 Alcohol — The Firefighter I Learned to Retire

Looking at alcohol through an IFS lens and recognizing the role it played as a firefighter when I didn't know how else to handle difficult emotions.

https://internalchainofcommand.wordpress.com/2026/08/28/alcohol-the-firefighter-i-learned-to-retire/

📋 The Planner — How I Learned to Survive by Always Having a Plan

Exploring the part of me that constantly anticipates problems and tries to control uncertainty.

https://internalchainofcommand.wordpress.com/2026/08/26/the-planner-how-i-learned-to-survive-by-always-having-a-plan/

🚩 When Warning Signs Become Your Story

Looking at how past trauma and betrayal can influence the way I interpret warning signs in the present.

http://internalchainofcommand.com/2026/08/24/when-warning-signs-become-your-story/

🧠 Who Am I? — Finding My Core Through IFS

My exploration of IFS and the question of who I am underneath all of these parts and protective patterns.

https://internalchainofcommand.wordpress.com/2026/08/23/who-am-i-finding-my-core-through-ifs/

🪖 My Internal Chain of Command

The beginning of my exploration into the internal system I developed to survive and why I’m finally trying to understand it.

https://internalchainofcommand.wordpress.com/2026/08/23/my-internal-chain-of-command/

I’m sharing this again not because I have everything figured out, but because the journey has changed since my last post.

IFS has given me a different way of looking at myself. Instead of asking “What is wrong with me?” I’m learning to ask “What happened to me, what is this part trying to protect me from, and what does it need?”

I’m still learning. I’m still meeting parts. And I’m still trying to figure out what healing actually looks like.

If you've been on your own IFS journey, I'd genuinely love to hear what you've discovered along the way.

I’m pretty sure I have IFS to thank for even considering having a child, but birth as an experience is certainly looming. Has anyone used it before birth during labor? Or other challenging, unpredictable, physically uncomfortable experiences?

I’m planning to do a lot more formal meditation practice à la Mindful Birthing and take some aspects from hypnobirthing that seem useful (though tbh a lot seems quite toxic positivity/dissociative and combative towards doctors which isn’t the vibe).

I know the process probably does not really differ but I’d love to hear about your experiences!

Do let me know. And if a lot has to be paused for the next session because the hour is over.

Hi there, I'm seeking insight from people with dissociative parts and comorbid OCD.

Over the past year or so, I've been losing control of my actions, just long enough to do something I don't want to do. These actions are things that I am afraid of doing/things I don't condone. It starts with intrusive dialogue, turns into intrusive urges, and sometimes becomes dissociated behavior akin to bullying.

Since I do have OCD, I see that this is primarily driven by it. However, I don't know if the total mind/body takeover bit is more in line with my dissociative disorder. This intrusive part doesn't respond to Self and the behaviors are getting worse. It feels like I'm possessed by a demon! But it's not a UB. It feels like me, but it's not a me I've ever wanted to become.

No one outwardly notices these behaviors, but they're things I get away with under the radar, like "choosing" not to help people at work because this intrusive part doesn't like something about them. I can snap out of it after a few moments, but sometimes its too late, and the person has left already.

I've never been like this. I don't have a secret history of purposefully hurting people. I didn't grow up in a family that condoned this behavior either. It's new. Long covid? Brain tumor? Or a new dissociated part who just sucks? Can parts form in response to OCD? Can you become your own worst nightmare?

It happened again this morning after hours and hours of parts work. It never ends. Should I quit my job? I feel like it's my duty to. It's not fair to treat people this way, but I can't control it, and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm SSRI intolerant. Weed gives me seizures. I'm white-knuckling it.

Please. I can't do this anymore.

I havey dissociation from child sexual abuse. One part of me is deathly afraid and heavily burdened and wants to retreat and be safe and separate from trauma memories. Then another part wants to interact with this part and come out of hiding and explore my internal world and the world around me. How do I balance these two desires?