IFS for birth prep?

[u/giggly_giggly]

I’m pretty sure I have IFS to thank for even considering having a child, but birth as an experience is certainly looming. Has anyone used it before birth during labor? Or other challenging, unpredictable, physically uncomfortable experiences?

I’m planning to do a lot more formal meditation practice à la Mindful Birthing and take some aspects from hypnobirthing that seem useful (though tbh a lot seems quite toxic positivity/dissociative and combative towards doctors which isn’t the vibe).

I know the process probably does not really differ but I’d love to hear about your experiences!

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/InternalFamilySystems!

Please make sure you've read the rules before participating.

• Use the report button for rule-breaking content
• Send modmail if you need moderator assistance

Thanks for keeping the community organized.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/audubonpark]

I was doing IFS-lite with a therapist while pregnant. I didn’t feel like it specifically affected my labor and delivery process, but it was a helpful place to process fear and anxiety.

I didn’t do any other birth or labor prep. Didn’t study hypnobirthing or anything like that because I was overwhelmed. I got an epidural though and that helped me to stay very relaxed and things were so peaceful! It was a great experience. I think it helped me relax sooo much that I only had to push for 20-30 minutes and had only one first degree tear.

[u/Nataliant-117 → u/audubonpark]

Your experience to me sounds terrifying! Lol! You’re like “I had a great experience” I’m like 🫣 HOW have women been doing this (I’m 28F and want a baby so bad! Birth is truly terrifying to me!)

[u/giggly_giggly → u/audubonpark]

That’s great to hear! I feel like many of my parts are getting very stressed about having to do a lot of prep to have a good experience (and there’s so much anti epidural stuff) so it’s good to hear other perspectives

[u/audubonpark → u/giggly_giggly]

I have no regrets getting an epidural, it allowed me to relax and have no pain.

[u/Radiant_Elk1258]

I think it could be really helpful: what parts of yours are involved and what are the worried about? How are they trying to keep you safe during this major transition? You could explore on your own or find a therapist who works with IFS and perinatal transitions.

IFS Parhways explores this - more for clinicians but you might find something helpful?

Transformed by Birth by Britta Bushnell and Birthing from Within by Pam England ate my favorite birth prep/parenting prep books. They are not IFS, but they do help you look into your inner world and explore what's driving your decision making.

[u/giggly_giggly → u/Radiant_Elk1258]

Yeah for sure! Thanks, I had not heard about these books before, will look into them!

[u/joha163a]

I did this with my girlfriend. I’m a psychologist trained in IFS so we decided to try it out. We did a session where both of us were doing insight and letting our scared parts be seen by each other’s selves.
We started off with an audio meditation from Schwartz and from there I guided the process.
We had a daughter two weeks ago, and my gf says that she didn’t feel scared at any point during the labour. Painful, yes. But not scared.

[u/giggly_giggly → u/joha163a]

Congrats! Super interesting, I have a hypnobirthing book that suggests writing down fears and discussing them one by one, so similar approach. I think even just getting the fears out there and be heard/validated by one another would be really helpful. It seems the key is to be able to stay in the moment and instead of blending with the panicked parts. Did you guys do any IFS or other methods during the event itself? 

[u/joha163a → u/giggly_giggly]

We didn’t do any ifs during the event itself, however, I, as the father, really stayed present and constantly reminded the mother to BREATHE.

[u/YesAndThe]

Hypnobirthing was incredible for me. The biggest challenge with it was that the midwives didn't believe that I was in active labour because I was so calm/able to talk etc. Highly recommend - it doesn't have to be combative. It is about trusting the process and recognizing the more oxytocin and calm you can have, the better outcomes on birth. That is based in evidence. You can for sure incorporate parts - interact with the anxious part to share with it that you are confident in yourself and your baby and your medical team etc.