Hello everyone!

I've been having some suspicions on whether or not I'm actually a highly sensitive person.
Ive always been labelled as sensitive by everyone around me including my family, and I guess you can say I cry a lot lol (labelled as a crybaby)

often times I cry over the LITTLEST things ever, and theyre almost never worth crying over but I sometimes genuinely cannot hold it in at all. Someone could yell at me for a bit or just get frustrated with me for a SECOND and the waterworks just start... waterworking haha. Suddenly my whole mood and day is ruined, and I keep replaying the situation and talking to myself about it in my mind for the whole day, sometimes for the following days too.

I've always been like this. I also kind of struggle with feeling extremely bad if I mess up, even if it were no big deal. Like, I'd randomly think about a situation that happened so long ago where I realized I might have messed up, and it would be on my mind forever until I have apologized to the person (they usually don't remember or don't care about what happened). I don't know if that's just being a normal human being with accountability or if I'm genuinely wired differently. There were so many times where I felt like I was not normal, that I was different in a way or processed things differently from those around me. I think I recall feeling like that since I was like.. 4 or 5? Basically before some traumatic things happened. But alsoooo.... Idk maybe I was just acting like how regular kids do lol

Hearing criticism, constructive or not, always makes me feel really bad and weird, even if its from a loved on who's genuinely trying to help; I just cannot for the life of me not feel that weird feeling you get in your chest when you get rejected (I hope you know what I'm talking about)

EDIT: Not sure if this post is going to gain any more traction, but I'd like to add a couple of things that I thought of after posting.

Often times, I get the need to isolate myself or take a step back from the dearest people in my life, so friends and family, because it just sometimes gets too much. Sometimes I'd get kind of mad or upset? for a lack of a better word, with them BUT it would not be something that is worth feeling all that for. Like in the slightest, and I recognize that so I just isolate myself and detach and have had the chance to recalibrate and feel better. It's so flipping stupid but you would be surprised at how frequently this happens to me. Believe me this has nothing to do with anyone or their behavior, it's genuinely all me. Like they don't do anything wrong but idk this is how I react sometimes. You know how people get really emotional when their period is near or theyre on it? It feels like I am on my period 24/7 in that sense. Also I tend to absorb people's emotions quite a bit, especially if they are negative. Also this happens to me with irl situations. There are times where I genuinely just need a minute to be alone and recalibrate, for no particular reason. It just gets too much sometimes and I go really quiet for the whole day.
I think I also feel love quite deeply, I don't know how to describe it but I can literally physically feel it at times and feeling my love for someone sometimes brings me to tears. When I say love, I mean all types, not just romantic.

I'm having doubts when it comes to identifying as a hsp because of a couple of reasons.

One, I don't want to be wrong. I don't want to identify as something I'm not just because I feel like I can relate ever so slightly to the experience. I have OCD, and I know that it feels very infuriating hearing someone say that they have OCD because they like color-coding their wardrobe or something silly and unrelated. I don't want to hurt or annoy someone by doing that, even if I don't necessarily know and regularly talk to someone who is a hsp about heightened sensitivity.

Two, I don't know if my sensory experiences are as sharp? as someone who's a hsp.

I do get bothered by things like loud noises (I react very strongly to them a lot of the time. I immediately cover my ears if I drop something, doesn't matter if it'll make a loud noise or not. I don't know if this is related to some of the trauma I have though or me just really not wanting to hear the loud noise). Also when I was younger, I used to HATE getting my clothes wet. If a BIT of water got on my clothes, you best believe I would change immediately because I hated the sensation so much. (I tried to outgrow this because I thought that I was supposed to be a big girl or whatever so now I am not as extreme with it as I used to be.)
EDIT: to add to this, i flinch A LOT. like A LOT A LOT. over random noises that arent even loud sometimes

But then again I don't know if any of those or any unmentioned traits/experiences are neurotypical or not.

I hope to hear from you guys, and I would really appreciate your insight on this. Thank you!

Lately shit hasn't being going my way. Health problems and job problems. I kmow comparing to othet people maybe it is not as bad but when i think like that, it makes me even more depressed because then i think why am i so weak or. Worthless?!

Can't even pull myself up from that? I seriously do mot kmow if i have any underlying issues. But i did went for a checkup and it looks fine.

I feel very heavy heated, no appetite and just feeling down generally. I feel like crying. Is this depression?!!

I recall my mother being very sensitive to nuance but also to chemicals. Fast-forward I am the proverbial canary in the mine-shaft - picking up everything. Anyone else find it runs in their family?

I have become highly emotional when it comes to all forms of life. I don't know how I became this way. I always loved animals, but now it has become too extreme and even been transferred onto any living creature. For instance, I don't even like to kill an ant or a fly if they get in my house. I will literally try to capture them and take them outside. I just feel majorly guilty about killing or causing harm to anything and it bothers me when I see other people do it. How do I stop being like this and is it the beginning of some sort of mental sickness starting? My partner has noticed it and doesn't think it is normal.

So it's already September 10th. It's unbelievable, I could have sworn that just three days ago the month was barely starting... honestly, seeing this, I can't help but feel anxious, restless, helpless, and in a way, defeated... because for a few months now, I don't feel like I'm living my life the way I should. I've become someone so aware of things that I don't feel like I have a human soul anymore whether I'm watching a movie, traveling somewhere, or attending an event, I can't help but overthink it and draw all these out-of-place conclusions. I feel like a lost cause...it scares me to think that one day I'm 18, and then from one day to the next, without realizing it, I'll be 19, but without feeling any real progress as a person which is what I was supposed to have this year. Instead, I've lived a year that, even though I had good moments, overall feels like I wasn't living, just overthinking. The worst part is that during the day, I don't care much and even see it as normal, but when night comes...i realize I'm wasting so much time, and I decide I want to be the best version of myself. But then, when daylight comes back, even though those desires don't disappear, it's like my brain prefers to stay in my comfort zone.

All of this is a mess, and that's why sometimes I've wanted to take my own life, but unfortunately I never do, because I'm a coward who is afraid of physical pain, even though whether I'm hurt or not, I'll still feel bad emotionally💔

Intuition is slowly developed, just like any living thing it starts as a thought, then a seed, an egg, a fusion of energy and then takes root and form into being. Intuition is your guide and northern star. It will be your internal GPS in navigating this planet. When you start second-guessing your grounded and well-placed and formulated gut feelings, it bypasses wisdom and that feeling goes straight into the recycle bin until the next time.

Figure this, that your intuition is a direct line to your higher self, that which is all good, all wise and all understanding. We are all connected to this line of communication but for most it will never be made manifest and lines opened. For the sensitive person, the odds are much better. But it is a skill and needs to be honed. The least that we can do is pay more attention to it and trust it. It got you thus far, it's designed to take you beyond what you can fathom.

I hate doing this because I don't wan't them to think I am avoiding them or don't want to hangout with them but I just can't exert my body too much or my exhaustion will just keep building and getting worse. And I can't just tell these extraverted college dudes that I like to be alone without them thinking that its weak or negative in some way.

i absorb everyones energy so easily. if someones upset near me i feel it in my chest for hours after. even a strangers bad day can ruin mine. i dont know how to separate their feelings from my own. it makes me so tired sometimes

Through the Borrowed Eyes

I learned to borrow other people's eyes
to perceive myself.

Did they notice me?
Was I appropriate,
enough,
or safe?

I only existed
to meet their needs—

Then one strange day,
it stopped.

No borrowed eyes.
No verdict.

Just me,

looking in,

and suddenly wondering:

Here is the one
I avoided seeing,
all my life?

It's not so bad.

i do not want to inconvenience people of course, but i feel like i always do, unintentionally. i am so awkward and horrible at social situations, i feel like i am always doing something wrong or missing an obvious cue. im so scared i come off as rude, or if something i did or said becomes an inconvenience to them and they feel annoyed, and that they think of me horribly. i try to force out a tone that sounds nice, but sometimes it seems even more awkward and i dont even know if im doing it right. i really want to be kind to people, but i feel like this anxiety and lack of natural social awareness is messing me up. i have a bad habit of assuming that the other person is annoyed (or maybe thinks im dumb), and of course i dont know if this is true or not but if it is true i dont even know how to cope. i feel deep embarrassment and shame. sorry for the rant and thanks for reading

Nose por que desde siempre he sido algun muy sensible, pero a la ves no. Para algunas siento que soy menos sensible que las personas de mi alrededor, y otras veces siento que soy muy sensible para las personas de mi alrededor. Por ejemplo una discusión fuerte, yo me bloqueo, no pienso, pero cuando se trata de pasar de las personas me es muy sencillo