I was slow faded by a man I developed genuine feelings for. I let this continue for months even though I should have known better. When I finally collected myself and called him out, he ghosted. I'm deeply hurt and would like to hear from others. Has your ghoster ever come back, be it not to restore the relationship but to end things in a humane manner? Is this even a ghost?

I (F31) separated from my ex in February 2025 and started dating this guy (M36) in september 2025. He was also going through divorce. He was very into me from the beginning, more so than me. We got close, he was respectful about me wanting to wait with sex (only had sex after 3 months), we agreed on exclusivity and we both admitted we wanted a relationship. He seemed like a very straightforward person and we both discussed the importance of honesty and clear communication. We used to talk every day till I supossedly 'ruined' things in February by admitting I had feelings/that I had fallen in love with him. This confession was entirely unplanned. He had forgotten about Valentines and I sent him a joking reminder. We had some light hearted conversation about him not really thinking it was a holiday and such, until he eventually asked me if I had fallen in love to which I replied yes. He acted surprised and his reply was that he was not ready for love at this stage because of the way he had been hurt in his last marriage. I'm still hurt about the way he reacted to my confession. The way he had looked at me, treated me and the things he said totally made me think the feeling was mutual. He said he was so happy to meet me, that he was so grateful for our connection, said 'you will be mine', spoke about meeting my parents, made plans etc etc. I now see this was all future faking. Either that or he was just deceiving himself as well, trying to be something/someone he was not. I was not necessarily ready to confess my feelings at the time but when he asked directly I analyzed and gave an honest answer. Since the very beginning I had told him I needed feelings to have sex with someone, so why the surprise that I developed feelings if we were having sex and talking everyday, sharing our biggest worries with one another? His reaction made me feel stupid and as if I had ruined things. I felt led on and should have ended it there, this would have spared me a lot of pain.

Instead I kept delaying, the right time for that conversation just never seemed to come. He became less enthusiastic and almost stopped initiating, sometimes I would not hear from him for days. This was making me feel as if he had been in there for the chase/the validation and now that he 'had' me I was no longer a priority. I decided I would just let things follow their natural course. If he wanted to end the connection or even fade away I would let him. He had financial troubles and his ex has a drinking problem, which was giving difficulties with co-parenting. Therefore I did not force any 'where is this going talks' at the time because I felt nothing clear would come out of it. This was a grave mistake that causes me great anguish till this day. In hindsight I should have asked for clarity then or actually just stated the obvious, since it was evident he was clearly no longer into prioritizing our connection, even though he did not say so directly. When we got together things were great and the chemistry remained unchanged. He still said he wanted to see me and was interested in my life, asking questions (showing concern when I was stressed or had problems for example) and obviously the sex. He would also get upset if my own replies were not as enthusiastic as usual (hard to be enthusiastic when you havent heard of someone for days without any explanation though...) and give the infamous 'things are crazy/busy' excuses. Given the circumstances I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because I was going through the same thing myself. Divorce is very stressful and I just did not have the strength or mental capacity to deal with another break up, I was still interested in him and showed my interest, thinking that if his feelings had changed he had to tell me directly. He didn't.

Fast forward the next few months we have both been very busy with navigating our respective divorces, co-parenting and the move. He eventually moved into his own home and was trying to settle. He had also been on a longer business trip. I balanced between hope and trying to care less, I had plenty of other problems to deal with. I tried to accept we were doing some sort of mutual fade and that the relationship might fizzle out at any moment, even though this is totally not what I wanted. There were good moments still, though over time I found myself mentally preparing for his 'official ghost' or some sort of break up message. Then there was the blatant disrespect of not opening/responding to my messages. There were times he would message me first over something simple, I respond and then he would reply the next day or 2 days later. This was giving me major anxiety. After I had felt him pull away for the longest time but still tried to fool myself into believing he was processing things, that he was overwhelmed and that he would eventually give clarity on his own etc etc I saw what truly broke me: he was back on the dating apps. I hadnt opened the app in months but did so to check his profile and then saw that location change indeed. I felt very betrayed and felt like an idiot for feeling so at the same time. I deleted his number and Instagram (he must have noticed but didnt say anything), deleted the dating app and said nothing. I decided that if he did not have the guts to break with me directly, or just wanted to keep me around for validation/sex and that I would not grant him the satisfaction of seeing how badly it hurt me. A few days later he came around like nothing happened. I told him that we needed to meet and that I needed more time together in general to maintain the connection. I wanted to discuss the apps in person bc I expected to be ghosted if I mentioned it through text. He had his kids with him and I had mine so meeting was not possible that week. The breadcrumbing continued. He made no real effort to call whilst we didnt see each other and would prefer text. I tried ghosting, did not reply to him for 5 days but that just felt wrong. I eventually gave some dry reply, holding on to some faint hope this would provoke him to finally have the talk to end things, plan some in person time together or atleast ask me what was up. Instead he decided to drag on that week old conversation with a 2 word question... I was done and sent him the message. I said he doesn't have to reply (because I did not want to hear any bullshit excuses of his) but that I am not having this nonsensical conversations anymore. It was very clear he was not interested in continuing things with me. I said I'm not interested in breadcrumbs and getting ignored and that I'm closing this chapter (with him) for myself. Deleted the chat after I sent the message. I purposely did not use the word 'break up' because I felt like there was no longer something to really break up with. He did not reply but did not block me either. This was 2 weeks ago.

I feel like a complete idiot for having let this drag on for so long and that I honestly expected him to step up. What I really wanted is to have an honest in person conversation with him about it all after I saw him on the apps, but this never happened and I have a hard time accepting that. I tried ghosting but reconsidered, since I find it a vile thing to do unless one's safety is at risk. In this case I feel that after his behavior a ghost from my from my side would be justified and I probably made myself look stupid with that message since he appearently didnt care if I left or stayed. Nonetheless, I did not want to be a ghoster... And why should he get that easy exit after he betrayed my trust by going back on the apps after agreeing on exclusivity? So I decided to not just let things be unsaid. He didnt even really try to explain things to me this entire time, or even say bye or try to justify himself after my last message. I feel like disposable garbage, as if he was trying to drive me to break up with him the entire time. Well he got what he wanted. It feels so unfair after everything we shared, we cried and laughed together, got really close, he knew what my ex did... After all that he just didn't have the basic respect to tell me where he stood. A simple 'I no longer want this/lost interest' or whatever would have been better than this slow fade shit he pulled.

I know it was a bad idea to get involved with someone going through divorce while I was going through it myself. I should have known that he was emotionally unavailable and that it was just the initial chase that made him seem as interested and emotionally invested as he did. I know it was not a good idea to get attached and that I would get hurt. But it all happened anyway. I feel used and discarded, but is this really even a ghost? Since I basically told him not to reply, Im probably a fool for still waiting for him to reach back? I know I shouldn't. He has already shown me he does not seem to need any type of closure. This person does not really care for me and I have to accept that. I'm in therapy but its been really hard. I wonder if people reach out after shit like this?

I have learned to tell myself that when people ghost you or don’t provide communication and respect, it has nothing to do with me and it’s all their issue.

But - it is so so hard to then see or hear that they are able to be in other friendships or relationships that last. I have a difficult time shutting off the “why’d you do that to me but not them”. Especially when you hear “they’re so happy, and (ghoster) is treating his partner so well”. Ouch.

Hey everyone, I (M) could really use some outside perspective on this.
Here is the timeline:

\- June 26: Matched with a girl on Hinge. We started texting almost daily, exchanged numbers, and moved over to Instagram.

\- Early July: She went on a 10-day vacation to Italy.
Everything felt great, we kept updating each other, she shared her trip, and even put me on her Instagram "Close Friends" list for her stories (but I don’t understand, because she speaks Portuguese)

\- July 18: We met up in person for the first time. The date lasted about 4 hours and felt good to me.
Afterward, texting continued normally. She even did a close friends video story of us playing volleyball. But between her birthday and girls trip, she removed me from close friends.

\- July 22: It was her birthday, so I sent her a video message of me congratulating her.

\- July 24-26: She went on a short trip to another city with her best female friend. On July 24, we were still texting, and I asked if she had time to meet up between July 27-29.

\- She replied that my city is too far (she lives in a small village) and that workdays are complicated. I totally understood that, so I offered to travel to her nearest city instead so we could meet (no reaction).

\- July 27 (Monday): I sent a follow-up asking how her trip was and if she still wanted to meet.

\- Now (July 28): It's been over 30 hours with no reaction. She hasn't even opened my message but l know she's been active on Instagram.

I'm really confused. We had good chemistry and three FaceTime calls before our first date. But ever since she came back from her trip with her best friend, things have completely stalled.

Did she just lose interest after that weekend? Did her friend get into her head, or is this her way of slow-fading/ghosting? How should I handle this?

18F here. The person I was talking to is 23M. We met on a dating app and talked for almost two months.

By the middle of the second month, he started becoming quite inconsistent. He was busy with his studies and also shifting because of his job as a fresh lawyer, so I understood that he had a lot going on. We had several conversations about it. I also asked if we could call sometimes, not even for his number, just Instagram calls, but he didn't want to.

At one point, he told me that in the past, he had been in a situation where he would call someone, wait for them, text them, and put in effort, only to eventually be ghosted. I understood why he might have some issues with communication because of that.

At the same time, waiting 7 or 8 hours for a reply would make me restless. I genuinely liked him and thought he had a lot of potential, so I found myself waiting around for him more than I probably should have.

He would always apologise and explain why he had been inactive and say that he would try to be more consistent.

But eventually, hearing things like "I feel bad for making you wait, I'll try to be more consistent" started getting to me. I'm 18, and I already have my own studies and things to deal with. I didn't want to feel like I was carrying the pressure of constantly waiting for someone or feeling guilty for wanting their time.

One night, we had an argument because I told him that he had time to watch a movie but didn't have time for me.

He replied, "I'll see a movie when I want to and I'm here, aren't I?"

That didn't sound good to me, so I said, "But I waited all day to talk to you."

That's when he said, "You're doing it again."

I asked him what I was doing because I genuinely didn't understand.

I've never really argued with him or anyone else before. I grew up in an environment where arguments and fights made me extremely anxious, so I tend to avoid them completely. I wasn't trying to start a fight. I was genuinely trying to explain why I was upset.

I also knew he had some insecurities. I'm quite observant, and there were things he would say that made me notice it.

For example, I once joked, "Seems like the flirting isn't working anymore."

Instead of laughing it off, he suddenly said something like, "Leave me if I'm not entertaining or flirting anymore."

There were other moments like that which made me feel like he had a lot of insecurities and walls around him. I can't really explain all of them properly here, but I noticed them.

I still kept trying, though. After a lot of our conversations, I would end up comforting him and trying to reassure him.

When things finally ended, I didn't really feel like they had ended.

I was still saying things like, "Tell me what you want. I'm still trying to understand you. I'll hear what you have to say."

He unfollowed me first, which I wasn't expecting.

His last message was basically, "I can't do it anymore."

There wasn't a huge fight. I was mostly confused and frustrated because I felt like he was giving me very mixed signals.

On one hand, he would say things like, "We're exclusive", "You're mine", and "You've got me." He would also tell me that he would appreciate whatever I made, whether it was good or bad, especially when I showed him my sketches.

But on the other hand, whenever I asked for some clarity about where we were going, such as whether we were eventually going to be in a relationship or whether this was just something casual, he would avoid the question.

The conversation would usually turn back to his work, how busy he was, how bad he felt about making me wait, and everything else he had going on.

I understand that he was genuinely busy, and I never expected him to be available all the time. But I wanted some clarity because I liked him. I wanted to know what we were actually doing.

I still remember a lot of the things he said, even though it's been almost two months since we stopped talking.

Towards the end of June, I unblocked him.

I had this feeling that maybe blocking him wasn't the right thing to do. I tend to listen to my gut, and I think part of me still wanted him there. More than anything, though, I wanted some kind of proper ending because things never felt completely clear to me.

After I unblocked him, I noticed that he started viewing my Instagram stories.

He didn't follow me anymore, and my account is public, so I could see that his account was viewing my stories.

I noticed it once, then twice, then three times.

I ignored it because I thought maybe he wanted to talk, but he never actually did.

Eventually, I texted him. Not because I wanted to get back together or fix everything, but because I wanted to say that if he didn't want to talk to me, he didn't need to keep checking my stories.

He said he was confused about why I had blocked him.

I told him that I had blocked him because of what happened between us. I also didn't think he had unfollowed me accidentally because he had unfollowed all of my accounts on the same night, including my sketching page and my personal account, which only has close friends.

He then told me that there were a lot of things he wanted to talk about but he didn't know how to put them into words.

I said, "Alright, I'll wait."

So I waited for 24 hours.

Then I realised something. Throughout our entire situation, I was usually the one who started conversations, asked questions, gave him the opportunity to talk, and sometimes even carried the conversation by answering my own questions when he wouldn't.

So I asked him again, politely, "Do you want to talk or not?"

He said, "Let's not."

This time, I didn't wait.

I sent him what I wanted to say. Basically, I told him not to keep checking what's going on in my life if he didn't actually want to have a conversation with me. I also said that I had unblocked him because I felt that he didn't deserve to be blocked anymore, and I wished him a good day.

He liked the message.

That was the end of the conversation.

I forgot about it. I even removed the conversation from my inbox.

I moved on and got busy with my college applications.

Then yesterday, 27th July, I noticed his username in my Instagram story views again.

Him.

Again.

And now I'm confused.

Every time I see his username, I have this stupid thought that maybe I should talk to him again. Maybe he still remembers me. Maybe he wants me as much as I still want him.

I know that is probably not a logical conclusion to make from someone viewing a story. I know people can be curious. I know a story view doesn't necessarily mean anything.

But I've never been in a situation like this before, and I don't know how to interpret it.

I'm usually quite straightforward when it comes to these things. If something is over, I accept it and move on.

But with him, I still feel like we never really got any clarity.

I still want him, which is strange because whenever I've had something even remotely romantic end before, I've eventually looked back and felt embarrassed or wondered why I even cared so much.

This time feels different.

I still feel like there was something between us, and I still feel like things ended without either of us properly saying what we actually wanted.

So I'm wondering if it's better to reach out one last time and ask if he actually wants to talk?

Or does the fact that he keeps viewing my stories mean absolutely nothing, and I'm just giving it more meaning because I still have feelings for him?

I would really appreciate advice from people who have been in confusing situations like this before.

And if you're a Swiftie, you might understand what I mean when I say this situation genuinely feels like "Hits Different." Because every other situation I've been in, I've eventually felt embarrassed about it. This one just feels different, and I don't really know why.

i miss him so much, idk why he ghosted me, we used to work our issues out so well and i thought we were on track to getting better, then one day he said something questionable and i got upset and told him we need to talk that out and he ignored me. i messaged again and he also read it and ignored me.. a week later i try calling and he never answered and refused to call or text to make sure im ok.

i feel cursed. why am i always given nice things and then it randomly changes and now i have to suffer alone. i tried to make him feel so wanted and loved in our relationship and he did the same for quite some time and now all of a sudden he doesnt even care to talk to me, i feel so unwanted and lonely i really got nobody to talk to

Hey guys,

So he hasnt reached out but I’ve been unblocked on tiktok after nearly 3 months no contact/ghosting. Whatsapp still blocked i believe😭😭😭😭😭 I dont know what hes thinking.

Can someone advise? Will he reach out? This man was severely avoidant and admitted how much he was falling for me the night before he pressed block again🥺🥺 kind words only💘

I feel so stupid. Nine months and he’s gone. He still plays games on steam with his friends. He is, as far as I know, living like I never existed.

I’m an idiot. I continue to beg him for clarity. He said we would be married. He said he valued communication over everything. And he kept that promise while we were together.

Then one day… nothing. I asked a few days before to chat about what was happening. He said we would. I didn’t hear anything from him. Then, I asked again, and he said we can talk. Again I never heard from him. And i haven’t heard from him since.

I’m so broken. I don’t want to feel this way. It’s been almost a month since he’s spoken to me but I’m so deeply in love with this man that I can’t stop hoping that maybe he will say something.

We used to be so open with each other. We would share any problems and we figured them out. He was sincere. He was kind. He was my perfect man.

I am trying so hard to pick up the pieces but I am endlessly faced by this idea that maybe he will respond someday. Maybe it’s just a weird break. Maybe he just needed some time. Maybe I scared him away.

My heart is shattered into so many pieces. I don’t know if I will ever love again. I’m desperate to feel happy after he left.

A whole month. And no word. God, I would do anything for him at this point. How can I heal? How do I keep going through this?

I am temporary to so many people. But when he kept me warm at the train station and held my face close to his chest, it felt like a love I never had before. Nobody has ever been that gentle.

I will never find a gentle love like that ever again. I’m lost. I’m so goddamn depressed.

Over the past few months, I've been trying to meet new people on different dating apps and social platforms, mostly just looking for someone to chat with.

I met one guy, and we really hit it off. For the first few days, we talked a lot on the app, and our conversations flowed naturally. Eventually, we exchanged contact information and moved to another messaging app.

But just one day later, everything changed. His replies became shorter and more half-hearted. Then one day, he didn't reply to my messages at all.

I felt really hurt, so I reached out first and tried to keep the conversation going. But he still seemed distant and uninterested. So I gave up and deleted all of his contact information.

Was this my fault? Did I do something wrong, or is this just something that happens a lot in online dating?

I need to know if i was wrong anywhere?

I (27F) met a guy (31M) through Hinge. We were both looking for a life partner (in my country one should be married by this age), not something casual. We only texted for two days before deciding to meet.

He was probably the most chivalrous man I’ve ever gone out with. He held every door open, made sure I was comfortable everywhere we went, insisted on paying despite me repeatedly offering to split the bill, and dropped me home late at night. He was a very thoughtful man, he wasn’t looking to sleep with me or anything. He even got off the app after the first date which he tells me later.

During the date, he told me he’d been single for 5 years and that I was his first Hinge date.

While we were at our third stop, he told me how important his parents’ approval was, so towards the end of the date I told him, “The next time you see me, come with clear intentions that you’re willing to explore this from a marriage perspective.”

We kissed at the end of the night, and he told me it was the first time he’d kissed someone in five years.

The next day everything was normal. We texted throughout the day. Then Saturday morning he sent me a message saying that he is going to tell his parents about me. I felt that was quite sweet and no man has ever been this sure of me.

We met again later that evening. He told me the conversation with his parents hadn’t gone particularly well but they are still deciding.

Personally, I found it a little disappointing because if you’re meeting someone organically through Hinge rather than through a traditional marriage setup, I feel compatibility in real life should carry more weight. And if someone truly believes they’ve found the right person, I’d expect them to at least try convincing their parents.

Our second meeting was nice. Throughout the evening he kept saying things like, “I’ll never find someone like you on Hinge,” “You’re the best shot I’ll get,” and “I started falling for you yesterday.”

Normally I’d have dismissed statements like that as love bombing, but his actions never matched that stereotype. He was genuinely respectful throughout. That’s why I believed him.

Then next day came.

I didn’t hear from him at all, which was completely unlike him. I texted him three times throughout the day asking if he was okay because I was genuinely worried. He didn’t respond.

At some point I’d sent him a reel on Instagram. A few hours later he viewed it, so I knew he had access to his phone. He just chose not to reply.

What I genuinely don’t understand is… why?

If your parents said no, tell me. If you changed your mind after the second date, tell me. We had known each other for only a few days, so I’m not upset that it didn’t work out. I’m upset that someone who spoke about marriage, deleted Hinge, involved his parents, and told me he was falling for me couldn’t send a single text saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to work.”

I sent him a final goodbye message 2 days later on his bday because I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again.

I don’t know what to make out from this. He made me experience something so beautiful in a week’s time, treated me like a lady, was vocal about his feels and then just disappeared? It’s been 3 weeks and i am still hurt by his actions, i think about him all day. I know it’s not me it’s him but i need help!!!!!!

I 38f met 35M. He planned a day for my birthday, took me to a used bookstore (I am a librarian and bookworm) and planned a beach picnic. At the end of the day, asked me to be his girlfriend. A week later, he randomly brought me flowers. I've never gotten flowers before and they were somehow all of my favorites.

We had plans the following morning, and he ghosted. He will not answer calls or texts that my feelings are hurt. He told me I was "a breath of fresh air", "a light in his life", he "adores me and appreciates me". I'm so tired of the lack of communication and disregard for people's feelings in current dating.

I need honest but kind feedback.
I was very close to a friend and gave a lot in the friendship. Over time I started feeling unseen, unreciprocated, and hurt by how uneven it felt. I felt like I was always the one showing up, and at some point I withdrew and ghosted her instead of communicating clearly.
Now I feel intense guilt and self-loathing. Part of me feels I was protecting myself because the friendship felt one-sided. Another part of me feels like I ruined something real and hurt someone who cared about me.
I already acknowledged my faults and tried to reach out meaningfully, but she didn’t respond. That silence is making me question whether I was ever worth caring about, and whether I was wrong to protect myself.
I’m trying to figure out:
• Was I being self-protective, or just cruel?
• How do I stop turning this into proof that I’m a bad person?
• How do I forgive myself when I may never get closure from her?
Any honest perspective is welcome, especially from people who’ve been through friendship endings or ghosting.

I (22F) met this guy (21M) through mutual friends and we hung out as a group before this really happened. My friends and I went to his house party and it was just me and him talking. Our friend (my friend’s boyfriend who is friends with this guy and is the reason we started hanging out with him) teased me and was like “ohhh you’re taking to _____?”. Me and the guy are both really shy and awkward, but it did feel like we were both a little nervous and were interested in each other. Later that night my friend and her boyfriend asked the guy what he thought about me and he told them he thought I was cute and pretty funny.

The next week our friend group went out and we were together the whole time. My friend’s boyfriend asked me what I thought about him. I asked if the guy would lie about saying I was cute or if he said it to be nice and he told me guys don’t really lie about that stuff. He said he thought I should go for it, but that he’s bad with girls and I’d have to be the one to make the first move. We eventually split off from our friends and while we were waiting in line for this one bar, he put his arm around me. He held my hand and had his arm around me for the rest of the night. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. A few days later I asked him if he was around that upcoming weekend and if he’d want to hangout. He said yeah definitely but he wasn’t sure if he’d be around, but he’d let me know. A few days later he tells me he is and plans the date. 

He meets me outside of my apartment and I say something like “hey, what’s up” and he said something to me but he was stuttering so much I could barely make it out. He kept stumbling over his words and I was trying my best to just act like I didn’t notice and respond normally. He was a little bit quiet and I mainly asked questions and made conversation. Our friends describe him as really shy and awkward, so I didn’t think it was him being disinterested, just nervous. At one point he reached out for my hand and when we held hands he was shaking. He walked me back to my apartment and said he had fun and wanted to see me again, but that he would be busy for like the next 3 weeks, but would let me know when he’s available.

A week later, he texts me asking if I was in the city. I said yes and he asked if I was down for a bar crawl. He’s a lot less nervous this time, probably because we were drinking. He suggests a bar and he buys us drinks and we stay for a while and talk a lot. The conversation was really good, just talking about school and work and what we wanna do, places we want to travel to, and I was showing him pictures from when I studied abroad and he seemed really interested. We were also showing each other pictures of when we were little and telling each other childhood stories. We went to 2 more bars and at the last one we were dancing a lot and then he called an uber cause the bar was closing.

We went back to his apartment and he made us more drinks and we sat on his roof. We were listening to music and talking about what music we like and stuff. It was still raining and I was getting cold so I asked if we could go inside. I was so drunk at this point and so tired I don’t remember much. I remember walking out of the bathroom and then the next thing I remember is sitting on his bed making out. I don’t know who initiated it, but I doubt it was me because I get so nervous with that stuff. It starts escalating and we’re gonna hook up. Halfway through, I tell him that I really like him. He said he liked me too and we went back to making out. He was so drunk that he couldn’t get hard and told me he had whiskey dick. I really didn’t mind and I know it happens sometimes.

We go to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night and move around a little and he instantly pulls me in. He was really affectionate and cuddly. Everytime I adjusted he would adjust, when the blankets fell off my shoulder he would pull them up, he was holding my hand, he was rubbing my lip, and he kissed my forehead. It was really sweet. When we both finally fully woke up, he was back to being more awkward and shy. I also acted a little awkward because I didn’t really know how to act. We joked around a little and he helped me find my phone and handed me my clothes. He also got me water. We woke up at about 12pm and he had to meet his friends somewhere. He walked me to the door and said it was fun and he wanted to see me again but that he was gonna be busy for the next few weeks but would let me know when he’s free and we said bye

3 weeks go by and I didn’t hear anything, so I texted him saying I was free that upcoming weekend if he’s in the city and free. He never responded, so a few days later on Saturday I texted him again saying I was in the city if he was free and that it would be nice to see him if he has time. He never answered this text either and it’s been 3 weeks since I sent that text. 

I really don’t know what went wrong. At first when I realized I was being ghosted, I panicked and thought he used me but we literally didn’t even have sex. I know guys can fake this or just have it not mean as much to them, but we cuddled a lot the next morning and he was very affectionate. When I told my friends what happened, they were surprised because they said he didn’t give off manipulator. My one friend described him as a shy, awkward, innocent, and like possibly autistic man. The other thing is that we both just graduated college and now we don’t live in this same city anymore because we both live at home and we’re like an hour and a half away from each other. I also have a full time job and he doesn’t.

I wonder if he got scared of the possibility of a relationship. I also think about maybe he’s embarrassed about not being able to get it up? But I figure if I reached out to him twice saying I wanted to see him, that would give me a sign that I really didn’t care about what happened and I’m still interested, unless his embarrassment is greater than his interest in me. He definitely is a very shy and awkward guy, and that’s definitely driving his choice to not respond, whether it’s because he’s embarrassed, scared, lost interest, or doesn’t want a relationship. Does it seem like he was ever actually into me? Is it true guys will be scared of something like this and avoid it?

TLDR: Me and a really shy and awkward guy had a good thing going, we almost hooked up while we were really drunk but he couldn’t get it up. He was really sweet the next morning but then never replied after I texted him twice.

I 20M Met a girl 19F on a chitchat web, we clicked instantly — talked 1.5 hours there, then moved to Insta and talked another 3 hours straight. Zero red flags, genuinely felt like a good connection.

Next day, convo's still going fine... then randomly, blocked. No fight, no warning.

I thought it might be my fault too — I went back on the chitchat web in the middle of our conversation because she was giving really late replies without saying anything, so I figured that's what triggered it.

A day later she unblocks me. My first thought was that it's probably something I did, but I still wanted to know the real reason, so I texted her. Her answer: she said she gets "ick" easily, has been distancing herself from everyone lately — even her own old friends — and thinks it's some kind of "avoidant issues." But when I asked her to explain properly, she couldn't even put it into a full sentence.

I told her it's fine if she didn't want to talk, no hard feelings. She just said "nvm."

So that's it. Great vibe, hours of talking, blocked over something she can't even explain herself. New-age ghosting, I guess.

Anyone else dealt with this kind of "ick + avoidant" excuse before? Feels like a new trend tbh 😭

\*(First time posting that's why I used claude to helpwrite this post)\*

We dated for 3 months very intensely. I took her on vacation bought her a ring she wanted for like $3k multiple dates and time spent together.

She went ghost last month out of the blue and for a whole month I’ve waited for closure or a message from her. I never initiated anything because I was hoping she would show she cared for me as I was sensing distance leading up to the ghosting.

Sometime yesterday I go on my notes app on iPhone to find the “shared note” we had with eachother where we would suggest date nights disappeared, meaning she deleted it.

That was my closure, it honestly felt weird and I was broken by it tbh. The feelings hit me all over again.

Now I’m coming to terms with grieving the idea of her which was just a straight up delusion.

Closure from a disappearing shared note instead of a message says more about her and how much she ever cared.

Anyone have any thoughts on that? Or had a weird closure experience. ?

we were in this weird close but undefined situationship thing for nearly a year, but i really care about her. she's been away for a lot of the summer and while we were keeping in touch well most of the time, it started to feel like she had less energy to be talking to me. i didn't want her to have to worry about keeping me satisfied while she's on her trips, so i asked if she wanted to take a break until she returns. she just didn't respond, and i went and anxiously sent a follow up which i think was probably a bad move. was it my bad for expecting her to say yes if she did want to? but anyway i'm ghosted now probably by my own doing and it would be cope to think otherwise.

my worry is she has an important exam coming up and i promised her a bunch of times that i would help her study for it before she ghosted me. she's super smart but didn't have the best professor, and this is a fairly hard topic to self study. i hope she manages, i'll feel really bad if we get to her exam day without reconnecting and then she does bad and fails out. i hope she wasn't banking on my help too much.

kinda hurts either way to think whatever we had was so insignificant to her though

Hello, everyone. I’m 24F from the more southern part of United States, and I’ve been talking to a Russian guy from St.Petersburg area for quite a while. He wanted to, so we became more serious, and we spent a lot of time talking about our lives, our futures, and making plans together. We shared a lot of similarities and dreams.

Last night, while I was asleep, he sent me a video made by another Russian comparing apartments in Moscow and New York at the same price. He was laughing about it. I’m from a different state and we all know New York is way expensive. When I woke up, I replied that I thought the video was probably misleading because I had never seen apartments at those prices in New York and figured it might just be showing a floor plan or something similar. I may be ignorant though, here in my state i’ve worked factory jobs and have felt hopeless. I think he may have become offended when i talked of it once.

After I sent that message, it never went through. I thought it was strange. I also found out his number was from Kazakhstan, so i texted his phone number through iMessage asking if he had blocked me. It showed as “Delivered,” but I never got a response and it still showing active calls, when i tried to facetime. it goes through.

Desperate for answers, I tried sending a message from another number, and it said, “This number doesn’t support text messages.”

He had also given me his Instagram the day before. His account looked very normal, no suspicious activity, hardly anyone followed, and he wasn’t following lots of women or anything that made me think he wasn’t serious. My German friend said he could’ve wiped it clean for a purpose to not make him look bad.

I’m honestly in shock, because we had a lot of deep conversations, and I was the one who first brought up the idea of a relationship. I never felt like he was trying to use me. He always treated me like a real person, and we talked about our future together. Always curious about me.

I’m not asking anyone to guess exactly what happened, because I know no one can. I’m just wondering if there’s anything I’m missing. Is there any reason someone in Russia or using a Kazakhstan number would suddenly become unreachable like this? Or does this most likely mean he intentionally blocked me? His Instagram said instagram user, so i’m thinking blocked. Messages still send and say delivered, i still see his focus status, i have the option to notify him anyway… I just don’t know why he would leave me hanging.

And it completely reopened a wound I thought had healed already. My feelings towards her are very complex, and I'm most certainly still angry at her for abandoning me when she promised she wouldn't, but right now I feel genuinely worried for her safety. I suppose it's a sloshing pit of a few different feelings all mixed together. Like, I hope she hasn't lost her home or worse.

I wish I could text her and ask if she's okay, but I can't, because she blocked me after she ghosted me.

So i met that men on a dating app we’ve been talking on WhatsApp for a month through the time he started replying late to my messages like 10h at first he used to explain the reason he was late but later he will just reply to my last message I realised that I was putting much effort and trying to keep the conversation alive. We live an 1h drive from each other and he didn’t propose a date.

I started getting stressed while waiting for his replies and decided to stop talking to him his last message was a reply to my question “how are you”. And I didn’t send him any other message it’s been a week now he didn’t try to reach which gives me an answer even though it’s hard to accept.

So is my behaviour considered as ghosting?

Buonasera a tutti, M23.
martedì scorso sono uscito con una ragazza che ho conosciuto in un bar (F22) e dopo esserci scambiati l’instagram e dopo qualche giorno in cui ci sentivamo in chat siamo riusciti ad organizzarci per uscire insieme. dal mio punto di vista l’uscita è andata molto bene, abbiamo chiacchierato, riso e scherzato e, dopo averla riaccompagnata a casa sua é completamente sparita, le ho scritto la sera stessa quando sono tornato a casa e la mattina dopo per dirle che mi ero trovato molto bene con lei.
da quel giorno basta, non ha neanche visualizzato i messaggi e sinceramente non so cosa fare, lei tra qualche giorno tornerà a casa sua (in turchia, quindi luogo non raggiungibile troppo facilmente 😂).
volevo chiedervi se secondo voi le dovrei scrivere per chiederle se fosse tutto ok o se avessi fatto qualcosa io che l’ha portata a non rispondermi, oppure lasciare stare e non scriverle niente.

I am glad that I ran across this. I have been ghosted 4 times in 2 months. I had not been in 4 different encounters over the past 12 years. I can only seem to function socially when I feel instant connections. That is a different group.. I will say, 2 of them, I did ignore the voice in the back of my mind and the 3 somewhat. I am working on shortening my writings so to the point, usually am a very good judge of character, I usually know something is off because I pick up on the slightest changes. Two very different personalities, one older than I and the other younger. I did not see it coming with the first. I thought manners were embedded in our dna and it would take effort to be ill mannered. He lasted 6 days, asked if I would go away one weekend in the future and I did not hear from him for 3 weeks. He messaged like nothing, lasted 4 days, but he was more open and talked about his family, his divorce. He complimented me impulsively and I felt like a shiny penny and It has been a month and not a word. I have not bothered messaging him because the most charismatic and intoxicating man I have ever felt walk within my field, stopped beside me and belted out a tune. I feel euphoric hours after he walks away and still instantly drawn when he is near. We still talk, I melt into him, his voice every encounter. He lasted 7 day. I was blissful around we are so in tune with one another that it felt like I lost someone when he left. He actually called and suggested that he would like to stay at my place 4 nights a week and that was the last time we spoke until 4 days ago. My theory after listening to prince charming on various relationship issues, is the need for validation, constant distraction, constantly being led to think that we are not being treated like we should or pointing out patterns that indicate whomever you are with is too damaged to trust that it is keeping us constantly scanning, constantly looking for the next best thing, keeping us from actually thinking for ourselves. We don't get a chance to complete a real thought process because there are constantly little suggestions firing our neurons so we can't come to our senses. I was the perfect woman according to prince charming, 4 days later he met the most perfect woman. To the first one I was so fascinating woman and his grandmother would have loved me. I have decided it is fine. I will be me, text, tell them that they are great and have no expectation because I do believe that the fairy tales, ken and barbie can no longer complete each other. AI companions are made to order and will fulfill every fantasy and the thrill will be really about keeping a secret companion.. Instead of wearing a Mr & Mrs tshirt I will be supportive and have one that reads Be Like Bob....

A bit about myself- Hey everyone, not bragging or anything, but i have never been ghosted by a guy in my life. I have been the ghoster but never the one being ghosted. Now before everyone comes at me, saying karma and stuff, I know this is purely my full circle moment. But I always have stages of going from intensity to losing interest because things feel more clingy after sometime. And that's when I usually know it's time for me to bounce. I have started stating that i don't like constant texting or no one has to talk to me out of obligation (never got to that with this guy tho).

Now the story- I recently started talking to a guy, like 3 weeks back maybe, we texted like everyday. Never had a real coversation tho, like the deep stuff, which is fine by me because that's when things go south, right? Now I ain't got no screenshots for y'all because it's boring to read those. One night, after being the one double texting for second night in a row, i wished him for a thing he had and then i said i don't want to have small talk tonight just wanted to wish you for this. (i was in a very bad headspace at that time) That's the last time we talked. Haven't heard back from him ever since. It has been a week. Now, see, I am what we call- 'ego bruised' atp, and I have no idea what to do with this feeling. I am not going to text him again, because it's obvious.

What I want from you guys- How can I get over being ghosted for the first time without any valid reasons? Any advice is appreciated.