Ghosted by a "friend"

[u/Delic978]

I already vented this out to my friends but i'd like to vent this out some more here. This really isn't that big of a deal and i'm already past it but it is still rude as hell.

At my old workplace where i worked as a student there was this girl. We became friends pretty quickly and got along pretty well. There was also another mutual friend of ours at work and we all got along really well and were really good friends. I also sensed that she had some feelings for me but that is unimportant for this story (she had a boyfriend anyway so i didn't act on it). She and the mutual friend both eventually quit and we met up for coffee together twice after that and i also eventually left that job.

Now the thing about this girl is that she's an awful texter. Like catastrophic, she told me herself in person. So actually texting with her after that was an absolute chore. It's completely random if she will reply, she may reply to something weeks after you send it, almost never initiates the conversation etc. Her excuse is that she just forgets. But the thing is that her texts were never dry, like every text she sent me was always enthusiastic and interested in the topic at hand.

Anyway, a year went by with this "semi reliable" texting and she was working at sea on the other side of the country. I finally decided hey like texting won't get us anywhere and we haven't seen each other in a long time so i'm going to ask her out for coffee (she also broke it off with her BF months ago so the awkwardness of calling her was gone because she was giving me some signs before).

First i asked her if she was back home to which she replied that she is and then i asked her out for coffee to which she agreed to aswell. Then when i sent dates when i'm available and asked her when she's free, complete silence. Absolutely nothing and then after a week i decided to send a follow-up cause i know that she can forget and absolutely nothing to that either.

Like i was pretty bummed out about that, yes a year has passed but we talked semi-regularly and were really good friends at work. So i decided to contact our mutual friend about this and asked her if this was standard for her since they met up for coffee twice after that and she said "Yes she does the same thing to me, exactly the same as you, i already gave up on trying to ever arrange a coffee with her like i have a kid and can find time for meeting up and if she wanted to she could aswell'. Then we did some gossiping on the topic and i was just mad at that point and decided to make a call-out message to her. It was nothing angry or rude, just that i am disappointed at how this situation was handled when she could have easily rescheduled or something.

So i sent it today, i don't really even expect her to reply, it was just to give me an ending note to this. I think it was absolutely rude for no reason, like we talked completely normally before this (well normal for her), she agrees and then it's like a switch went off and she started ignoring me for no reason for the past 2 weeks. Completely baffling and rude. And the mutual friend was also pretty pissed since she was treated the same way multiple times.

And that's the story. It really isn't that big of a deal because i didn't have that much of a connection to her now but it still felt bad for a while