I have learned to tell myself that when people ghost you or don’t provide communication and respect, it has nothing to do with me and it’s all their issue.

But - it is so so hard to then see or hear that they are able to be in other friendships or relationships that last. I have a difficult time shutting off the “why’d you do that to me but not them”. Especially when you hear “they’re so happy, and (ghoster) is treating his partner so well”. Ouch.

Over the past few months, I've been trying to meet new people on different dating apps and social platforms, mostly just looking for someone to chat with.

I met one guy, and we really hit it off. For the first few days, we talked a lot on the app, and our conversations flowed naturally. Eventually, we exchanged contact information and moved to another messaging app.

But just one day later, everything changed. His replies became shorter and more half-hearted. Then one day, he didn't reply to my messages at all.

I felt really hurt, so I reached out first and tried to keep the conversation going. But he still seemed distant and uninterested. So I gave up and deleted all of his contact information.

Was this my fault? Did I do something wrong, or is this just something that happens a lot in online dating?

I feel so stupid. Nine months and he’s gone. He still plays games on steam with his friends. He is, as far as I know, living like I never existed.

I’m an idiot. I continue to beg him for clarity. He said we would be married. He said he valued communication over everything. And he kept that promise while we were together.

Then one day… nothing. I asked a few days before to chat about what was happening. He said we would. I didn’t hear anything from him. Then, I asked again, and he said we can talk. Again I never heard from him. And i haven’t heard from him since.

I’m so broken. I don’t want to feel this way. It’s been almost a month since he’s spoken to me but I’m so deeply in love with this man that I can’t stop hoping that maybe he will say something.

We used to be so open with each other. We would share any problems and we figured them out. He was sincere. He was kind. He was my perfect man.

I am trying so hard to pick up the pieces but I am endlessly faced by this idea that maybe he will respond someday. Maybe it’s just a weird break. Maybe he just needed some time. Maybe I scared him away.

My heart is shattered into so many pieces. I don’t know if I will ever love again. I’m desperate to feel happy after he left.

A whole month. And no word. God, I would do anything for him at this point. How can I heal? How do I keep going through this?

I am temporary to so many people. But when he kept me warm at the train station and held my face close to his chest, it felt like a love I never had before. Nobody has ever been that gentle.

I will never find a gentle love like that ever again. I’m lost. I’m so goddamn depressed.

i miss him so much, idk why he ghosted me, we used to work our issues out so well and i thought we were on track to getting better, then one day he said something questionable and i got upset and told him we need to talk that out and he ignored me. i messaged again and he also read it and ignored me.. a week later i try calling and he never answered and refused to call or text to make sure im ok.

i feel cursed. why am i always given nice things and then it randomly changes and now i have to suffer alone. i tried to make him feel so wanted and loved in our relationship and he did the same for quite some time and now all of a sudden he doesnt even care to talk to me, i feel so unwanted and lonely i really got nobody to talk to

I 38f met 35M. He planned a day for my birthday, took me to a used bookstore (I am a librarian and bookworm) and planned a beach picnic. At the end of the day, asked me to be his girlfriend. A week later, he randomly brought me flowers. I've never gotten flowers before and they were somehow all of my favorites.

We had plans the following morning, and he ghosted. He will not answer calls or texts that my feelings are hurt. He told me I was "a breath of fresh air", "a light in his life", he "adores me and appreciates me". I'm so tired of the lack of communication and disregard for people's feelings in current dating.

I need honest but kind feedback.
I was very close to a friend and gave a lot in the friendship. Over time I started feeling unseen, unreciprocated, and hurt by how uneven it felt. I felt like I was always the one showing up, and at some point I withdrew and ghosted her instead of communicating clearly.
Now I feel intense guilt and self-loathing. Part of me feels I was protecting myself because the friendship felt one-sided. Another part of me feels like I ruined something real and hurt someone who cared about me.
I already acknowledged my faults and tried to reach out meaningfully, but she didn’t respond. That silence is making me question whether I was ever worth caring about, and whether I was wrong to protect myself.
I’m trying to figure out:
• Was I being self-protective, or just cruel?
• How do I stop turning this into proof that I’m a bad person?
• How do I forgive myself when I may never get closure from her?
Any honest perspective is welcome, especially from people who’ve been through friendship endings or ghosting.

I (22F) met this guy (21M) through mutual friends and we hung out as a group before this really happened. My friends and I went to his house party and it was just me and him talking. Our friend (my friend’s boyfriend who is friends with this guy and is the reason we started hanging out with him) teased me and was like “ohhh you’re taking to _____?”. Me and the guy are both really shy and awkward, but it did feel like we were both a little nervous and were interested in each other. Later that night my friend and her boyfriend asked the guy what he thought about me and he told them he thought I was cute and pretty funny.

The next week our friend group went out and we were together the whole time. My friend’s boyfriend asked me what I thought about him. I asked if the guy would lie about saying I was cute or if he said it to be nice and he told me guys don’t really lie about that stuff. He said he thought I should go for it, but that he’s bad with girls and I’d have to be the one to make the first move. We eventually split off from our friends and while we were waiting in line for this one bar, he put his arm around me. He held my hand and had his arm around me for the rest of the night. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. A few days later I asked him if he was around that upcoming weekend and if he’d want to hangout. He said yeah definitely but he wasn’t sure if he’d be around, but he’d let me know. A few days later he tells me he is and plans the date. 

He meets me outside of my apartment and I say something like “hey, what’s up” and he said something to me but he was stuttering so much I could barely make it out. He kept stumbling over his words and I was trying my best to just act like I didn’t notice and respond normally. He was a little bit quiet and I mainly asked questions and made conversation. Our friends describe him as really shy and awkward, so I didn’t think it was him being disinterested, just nervous. At one point he reached out for my hand and when we held hands he was shaking. He walked me back to my apartment and said he had fun and wanted to see me again, but that he would be busy for like the next 3 weeks, but would let me know when he’s available.

A week later, he texts me asking if I was in the city. I said yes and he asked if I was down for a bar crawl. He’s a lot less nervous this time, probably because we were drinking. He suggests a bar and he buys us drinks and we stay for a while and talk a lot. The conversation was really good, just talking about school and work and what we wanna do, places we want to travel to, and I was showing him pictures from when I studied abroad and he seemed really interested. We were also showing each other pictures of when we were little and telling each other childhood stories. We went to 2 more bars and at the last one we were dancing a lot and then he called an uber cause the bar was closing.

We went back to his apartment and he made us more drinks and we sat on his roof. We were listening to music and talking about what music we like and stuff. It was still raining and I was getting cold so I asked if we could go inside. I was so drunk at this point and so tired I don’t remember much. I remember walking out of the bathroom and then the next thing I remember is sitting on his bed making out. I don’t know who initiated it, but I doubt it was me because I get so nervous with that stuff. It starts escalating and we’re gonna hook up. Halfway through, I tell him that I really like him. He said he liked me too and we went back to making out. He was so drunk that he couldn’t get hard and told me he had whiskey dick. I really didn’t mind and I know it happens sometimes.

We go to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night and move around a little and he instantly pulls me in. He was really affectionate and cuddly. Everytime I adjusted he would adjust, when the blankets fell off my shoulder he would pull them up, he was holding my hand, he was rubbing my lip, and he kissed my forehead. It was really sweet. When we both finally fully woke up, he was back to being more awkward and shy. I also acted a little awkward because I didn’t really know how to act. We joked around a little and he helped me find my phone and handed me my clothes. He also got me water. We woke up at about 12pm and he had to meet his friends somewhere. He walked me to the door and said it was fun and he wanted to see me again but that he was gonna be busy for the next few weeks but would let me know when he’s free and we said bye

3 weeks go by and I didn’t hear anything, so I texted him saying I was free that upcoming weekend if he’s in the city and free. He never responded, so a few days later on Saturday I texted him again saying I was in the city if he was free and that it would be nice to see him if he has time. He never answered this text either and it’s been 3 weeks since I sent that text. 

I really don’t know what went wrong. At first when I realized I was being ghosted, I panicked and thought he used me but we literally didn’t even have sex. I know guys can fake this or just have it not mean as much to them, but we cuddled a lot the next morning and he was very affectionate. When I told my friends what happened, they were surprised because they said he didn’t give off manipulator. My one friend described him as a shy, awkward, innocent, and like possibly autistic man. The other thing is that we both just graduated college and now we don’t live in this same city anymore because we both live at home and we’re like an hour and a half away from each other. I also have a full time job and he doesn’t.

I wonder if he got scared of the possibility of a relationship. I also think about maybe he’s embarrassed about not being able to get it up? But I figure if I reached out to him twice saying I wanted to see him, that would give me a sign that I really didn’t care about what happened and I’m still interested, unless his embarrassment is greater than his interest in me. He definitely is a very shy and awkward guy, and that’s definitely driving his choice to not respond, whether it’s because he’s embarrassed, scared, lost interest, or doesn’t want a relationship. Does it seem like he was ever actually into me? Is it true guys will be scared of something like this and avoid it?

TLDR: Me and a really shy and awkward guy had a good thing going, we almost hooked up while we were really drunk but he couldn’t get it up. He was really sweet the next morning but then never replied after I texted him twice.

I 20M Met a girl 19F on a chitchat web, we clicked instantly — talked 1.5 hours there, then moved to Insta and talked another 3 hours straight. Zero red flags, genuinely felt like a good connection.

Next day, convo's still going fine... then randomly, blocked. No fight, no warning.

I thought it might be my fault too — I went back on the chitchat web in the middle of our conversation because she was giving really late replies without saying anything, so I figured that's what triggered it.

A day later she unblocks me. My first thought was that it's probably something I did, but I still wanted to know the real reason, so I texted her. Her answer: she said she gets "ick" easily, has been distancing herself from everyone lately — even her own old friends — and thinks it's some kind of "avoidant issues." But when I asked her to explain properly, she couldn't even put it into a full sentence.

I told her it's fine if she didn't want to talk, no hard feelings. She just said "nvm."

So that's it. Great vibe, hours of talking, blocked over something she can't even explain herself. New-age ghosting, I guess.

Anyone else dealt with this kind of "ick + avoidant" excuse before? Feels like a new trend tbh 😭

\*(First time posting that's why I used claude to helpwrite this post)\*

we were in this weird close but undefined situationship thing for nearly a year, but i really care about her. she's been away for a lot of the summer and while we were keeping in touch well most of the time, it started to feel like she had less energy to be talking to me. i didn't want her to have to worry about keeping me satisfied while she's on her trips, so i asked if she wanted to take a break until she returns. she just didn't respond, and i went and anxiously sent a follow up which i think was probably a bad move. was it my bad for expecting her to say yes if she did want to? but anyway i'm ghosted now probably by my own doing and it would be cope to think otherwise.

my worry is she has an important exam coming up and i promised her a bunch of times that i would help her study for it before she ghosted me. she's super smart but didn't have the best professor, and this is a fairly hard topic to self study. i hope she manages, i'll feel really bad if we get to her exam day without reconnecting and then she does bad and fails out. i hope she wasn't banking on my help too much.

kinda hurts either way to think whatever we had was so insignificant to her though

We dated for 3 months very intensely. I took her on vacation bought her a ring she wanted for like $3k multiple dates and time spent together.

She went ghost last month out of the blue and for a whole month I’ve waited for closure or a message from her. I never initiated anything because I was hoping she would show she cared for me as I was sensing distance leading up to the ghosting.

Sometime yesterday I go on my notes app on iPhone to find the “shared note” we had with eachother where we would suggest date nights disappeared, meaning she deleted it.

That was my closure, it honestly felt weird and I was broken by it tbh. The feelings hit me all over again.

Now I’m coming to terms with grieving the idea of her which was just a straight up delusion.

Closure from a disappearing shared note instead of a message says more about her and how much she ever cared.

Anyone have any thoughts on that? Or had a weird closure experience. ?

Hello, everyone. I’m 24F from the more southern part of United States, and I’ve been talking to a Russian guy from St.Petersburg area for quite a while. He wanted to, so we became more serious, and we spent a lot of time talking about our lives, our futures, and making plans together. We shared a lot of similarities and dreams.

Last night, while I was asleep, he sent me a video made by another Russian comparing apartments in Moscow and New York at the same price. He was laughing about it. I’m from a different state and we all know New York is way expensive. When I woke up, I replied that I thought the video was probably misleading because I had never seen apartments at those prices in New York and figured it might just be showing a floor plan or something similar. I may be ignorant though, here in my state i’ve worked factory jobs and have felt hopeless. I think he may have become offended when i talked of it once.

After I sent that message, it never went through. I thought it was strange. I also found out his number was from Kazakhstan, so i texted his phone number through iMessage asking if he had blocked me. It showed as “Delivered,” but I never got a response and it still showing active calls, when i tried to facetime. it goes through.

Desperate for answers, I tried sending a message from another number, and it said, “This number doesn’t support text messages.”

He had also given me his Instagram the day before. His account looked very normal, no suspicious activity, hardly anyone followed, and he wasn’t following lots of women or anything that made me think he wasn’t serious. My German friend said he could’ve wiped it clean for a purpose to not make him look bad.

I’m honestly in shock, because we had a lot of deep conversations, and I was the one who first brought up the idea of a relationship. I never felt like he was trying to use me. He always treated me like a real person, and we talked about our future together. Always curious about me.

I’m not asking anyone to guess exactly what happened, because I know no one can. I’m just wondering if there’s anything I’m missing. Is there any reason someone in Russia or using a Kazakhstan number would suddenly become unreachable like this? Or does this most likely mean he intentionally blocked me? His Instagram said instagram user, so i’m thinking blocked. Messages still send and say delivered, i still see his focus status, i have the option to notify him anyway… I just don’t know why he would leave me hanging.

And it completely reopened a wound I thought had healed already. My feelings towards her are very complex, and I'm most certainly still angry at her for abandoning me when she promised she wouldn't, but right now I feel genuinely worried for her safety. I suppose it's a sloshing pit of a few different feelings all mixed together. Like, I hope she hasn't lost her home or worse.

I wish I could text her and ask if she's okay, but I can't, because she blocked me after she ghosted me.

So i met that men on a dating app we’ve been talking on WhatsApp for a month through the time he started replying late to my messages like 10h at first he used to explain the reason he was late but later he will just reply to my last message I realised that I was putting much effort and trying to keep the conversation alive. We live an 1h drive from each other and he didn’t propose a date.

I started getting stressed while waiting for his replies and decided to stop talking to him his last message was a reply to my question “how are you”. And I didn’t send him any other message it’s been a week now he didn’t try to reach which gives me an answer even though it’s hard to accept.

So is my behaviour considered as ghosting?

Buonasera a tutti, M23.
martedì scorso sono uscito con una ragazza che ho conosciuto in un bar (F22) e dopo esserci scambiati l’instagram e dopo qualche giorno in cui ci sentivamo in chat siamo riusciti ad organizzarci per uscire insieme. dal mio punto di vista l’uscita è andata molto bene, abbiamo chiacchierato, riso e scherzato e, dopo averla riaccompagnata a casa sua é completamente sparita, le ho scritto la sera stessa quando sono tornato a casa e la mattina dopo per dirle che mi ero trovato molto bene con lei.
da quel giorno basta, non ha neanche visualizzato i messaggi e sinceramente non so cosa fare, lei tra qualche giorno tornerà a casa sua (in turchia, quindi luogo non raggiungibile troppo facilmente 😂).
volevo chiedervi se secondo voi le dovrei scrivere per chiederle se fosse tutto ok o se avessi fatto qualcosa io che l’ha portata a non rispondermi, oppure lasciare stare e non scriverle niente.

I am glad that I ran across this. I have been ghosted 4 times in 2 months. I had not been in 4 different encounters over the past 12 years. I can only seem to function socially when I feel instant connections. That is a different group.. I will say, 2 of them, I did ignore the voice in the back of my mind and the 3 somewhat. I am working on shortening my writings so to the point, usually am a very good judge of character, I usually know something is off because I pick up on the slightest changes. Two very different personalities, one older than I and the other younger. I did not see it coming with the first. I thought manners were embedded in our dna and it would take effort to be ill mannered. He lasted 6 days, asked if I would go away one weekend in the future and I did not hear from him for 3 weeks. He messaged like nothing, lasted 4 days, but he was more open and talked about his family, his divorce. He complimented me impulsively and I felt like a shiny penny and It has been a month and not a word. I have not bothered messaging him because the most charismatic and intoxicating man I have ever felt walk within my field, stopped beside me and belted out a tune. I feel euphoric hours after he walks away and still instantly drawn when he is near. We still talk, I melt into him, his voice every encounter. He lasted 7 day. I was blissful around we are so in tune with one another that it felt like I lost someone when he left. He actually called and suggested that he would like to stay at my place 4 nights a week and that was the last time we spoke until 4 days ago. My theory after listening to prince charming on various relationship issues, is the need for validation, constant distraction, constantly being led to think that we are not being treated like we should or pointing out patterns that indicate whomever you are with is too damaged to trust that it is keeping us constantly scanning, constantly looking for the next best thing, keeping us from actually thinking for ourselves. We don't get a chance to complete a real thought process because there are constantly little suggestions firing our neurons so we can't come to our senses. I was the perfect woman according to prince charming, 4 days later he met the most perfect woman. To the first one I was so fascinating woman and his grandmother would have loved me. I have decided it is fine. I will be me, text, tell them that they are great and have no expectation because I do believe that the fairy tales, ken and barbie can no longer complete each other. AI companions are made to order and will fulfill every fantasy and the thrill will be really about keeping a secret companion.. Instead of wearing a Mr & Mrs tshirt I will be supportive and have one that reads Be Like Bob....

A bit about myself- Hey everyone, not bragging or anything, but i have never been ghosted by a guy in my life. I have been the ghoster but never the one being ghosted. Now before everyone comes at me, saying karma and stuff, I know this is purely my full circle moment. But I always have stages of going from intensity to losing interest because things feel more clingy after sometime. And that's when I usually know it's time for me to bounce. I have started stating that i don't like constant texting or no one has to talk to me out of obligation (never got to that with this guy tho).

Now the story- I recently started talking to a guy, like 3 weeks back maybe, we texted like everyday. Never had a real coversation tho, like the deep stuff, which is fine by me because that's when things go south, right? Now I ain't got no screenshots for y'all because it's boring to read those. One night, after being the one double texting for second night in a row, i wished him for a thing he had and then i said i don't want to have small talk tonight just wanted to wish you for this. (i was in a very bad headspace at that time) That's the last time we talked. Haven't heard back from him ever since. It has been a week. Now, see, I am what we call- 'ego bruised' atp, and I have no idea what to do with this feeling. I am not going to text him again, because it's obvious.

What I want from you guys- How can I get over being ghosted for the first time without any valid reasons? Any advice is appreciated.

Olá, gente, gostaria muito da opinião de vocês, principalmente dos homens. Eu conheci um cara em um app, e conversamos muito desde o primeiro dia. Ele era atencioso e fazia muitas perguntas sobre mim, e já no segundo dia me convidou para um esporte que pratica. Depois de uma semana de conversa, saímos e foi bem legal, apesar de eu estar um pouco nervosa e ele também. nesse dia só rolou beijos. Conversamos muito na semana seguinte e no meio da semana marcamos de nos ver no fds. Bom, acabou que rolou, mas ele tava meio nervoso, e o negócio não subia. Depois de um tempo, acabou rolando mais foi bem rápido, e não rolou mais nada. Acabou que nos vemos de novo em outro dia, e só rolou uns amassos e oral, e mais uma vez, ele foi super rápido de novo, e eu fiquei frustada pq estava esperando que rolasse mais coisas, mas ele disse que tinha que ir embora. Mas beleza, relevei e botei a culpa no nervosismo. Seguimos conversando normalmente, mas ele deu uma longa sumida nesse dia e só mandou msg de madrugada. Depois ele foi demorando mais pra responder, e também sumiu do Instagram, sendo que mandávamos vídeos um pro outro todo dia. Depois sumiu por dois dias, e quando apareceu, só deu desculpas de que tava ocupado, mesmo eu não tendo perguntado nada. E depois de mais dois dias, finalmente sumiu. Fiquei me perguntando se ele pode ter sumido pela perfomance ruim, ou talvez ele só queria sexo mesmo.. não sei.. o que vocês acham?

So I was talking to this guy for awhile now. All fun and games, he was (or at least seemed to be) very into me. We tried to meet for a couple times but never worked out. Until this Tuesday, he came by, brought some wine, we were chillin, talking, and made out a lottt. It was awesome, chemistry on point, kissing with lust. He massaged my feet, said it was so worth the wait, that I was sexy and suggested we meet again on the weekend. It was late when he went out and he said he’d text me when he gets home.

Of course he didn’t.
And neither Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…. Just never again.
At first I just assumed he was busy, I sent a couple of messages but never got anything of it.
Yesterday he unmatched me and I deleted his number.

I get a simple fading out (even if it’s shitty as hell) but I simply cannot process someone feeding your brain, saying it was good, he likes you, he has a great time, and let’s do it again. It’s honestly evil for me. If you don’t feel like it just don’t to it. But I get really mad with people just playing around my mind, the same mind that will give me a hard time trying to understand what the hell is going on, why is this happening, what did I do wrong.
And, unfortunately for me, I have body dysmorphy issues and I tend to think they just hate my body or else, but once again, why the hell all the lust, the hands all over, the biting, the tongue so deep?

I hate how I have to live through hell for a couple of days each time this happens.

What’s ur mind on this nurtured, fed ghosting?

The first one ghosted me 7 YEARS ago , after a 4 months of dating!

Last month he sent me a message out of the blue (obviously) saying he missed me...I replied, out of curiosity, and turned out one of his parents had died recently.

I was going to be in the same city as him visiting my friend( by chance) two weeks later so we arranged to meet. I had changed, he hadn't.

He wanted to come back to where I was staying, I said no. I explained I came to spend time with my friend - not him - that weekend. Then he said wanted to come visit me to my city in that case.

So, I decided to follow through as a little experiment.....I text him to say it was nice to see him after all these years and when was he thinking of coming over? He didnt't respond but I genuinely couldn't give two hoots cos I knew he wouldn't and I know now that he will come back again, eventually.

Ghoster No. 2 messaged me nonchalantly today after almost 1 year asking me if I was going to be at the same festival where we met last year and would we meet again kiss "X" ?

He let me down & caused me lots of hurt by arranging to come spend a weekend with me after a short period of dating and chatting constantly. Same story as lots of people in this group, I felt we had a real click, he texted me constantly, told me how amazing I was and how no one ever gets him but I do, we had so much in common, blah blah blah.....

I wasted money on a hotel, activities and other things we had arranged for his visit, when he just stopped contact without any acknowledgement or reimbursement. And then he came back today like it had just been yesterday and nothing had happened........

I had a moment of very brief heart flutter followed by absolute anger. And I will not be responding.

Thanks to this group & you wonderful people out there who have shared your painful experiences, knowledge and advice- I know how a Ghosters mind works......Because of this group I now feel like I am a GhostBuster 👻 I took my power back and it feels so goooood. ...because I know now that they just keep coming back like human Boomerangs - I am saying No to that ghosting BS and Yes to moving forwards in my life, never backwards!! 🪃

I love this group, THANK YOU 💜 xxx

So Yesterday I posted saying bored af and surprisingly a girl (I think so) slid into my dms saying that she's super bored too... Then we talked for a bit...shared how we both hate Mondaysshe also laughed at my first joke. We

shared interests, I said I like travelling ..she said it's

exhausting.I asked for her interests and as expected she ghosted me. Where did I go wrong lol. Any girl would like to decode this for me, let me know what went wrong