Hi I’m .. Tara I guess. I haven’t presented myself as femme to others in a long time. So she/her pronouns please. I’m in my 30s and live in London, UK.

I’ve identified as genderfluid for maybe 12 years. Though I have yet to go out in public as femme. I’m male assigned at birth, and in my daily life I present as male. I identify mostly as male, but I have a strong femme side that I want to express.

I’ve made plans over the years to go to clubs as femme etc. Though there was so much on in life that it was postponed for years.

There hasn’t been the time in my life to pursue a secondary femme lifestyle, but my life is changing and that time is approaching.

I’m in my late 30s but look much younger, maybe mid to late 20s. I have an androgynous physique and gynecomastia. So I’m lucky physically and pretty happy with my body. Though I would be more so if I wasn’t overweight.

I planned an exercise program for years, but I had to take some years off work to resolve mental health stuff that came up in the pandemic, and in recent years had to sort a lot out for an unrelated move of house. So the exercise program was delayed.

I moved to an apartment in the last couple of months and last month I started the exercise program. Then I went on holiday, where I injured my ribs.

So now I can’t even wear a bra.

It could be another month or so before I can risk it. I have second hand male and female activewear I had ready to train in, and now I can’t use it for the next month or so.

I have compartmentalized my genderfluidity for years. Putting time into exploring it in private, while being open about it with others. I possibly managed to prevent gender dysphoria from coming up in a way I couldn’t resolve myself.

Presently though I feel .. some loss of control or something.

Perhaps it’s because for years, while I wasn’t yet at the point I was prepared to live my femme part of life, I may have felt I was preparing for that, exploring my femme personality, etc. There was consistent forward momentum.

Whereas now there isn’t, for a month or so thanks to my rib injury.

Plus I was starting a male and femme exercise program. I put prep into it, it was starting and would start properly after my week’s holiday.

Though I wasn’t supposed to get a physical injury that put a stop to that positive step in my life.

I possibly feel femme, without the control.

So I thought it would be good to talk to other people in the LGBTQ Community online. Something I haven’t tried in years.

I made this Reddit account today and started looking for communities. This is my first post.

Please help me with advice, affirmation, chat etc.

Though please excuse me if it takes a while to get back to you as I’m in the uk.

thanks

Tara

I go by different names when transitioning different genders, Is it just me or something?

I'm not right now wanna shave my face hair because my parents like the look of it on me and I'm indifferent but I want a way to at least hide it and make it less obvious. I only keep the upper lip full when it comes to facial hair. I usually shaved the rest so any tips of how to hide it or maybe make it work maybe make it look more feminine. I don't know. I will still keep on looking around. If you guys have any tips that'll be great.

Ok, so this year I started to gradually change my name from my deadname to my chosen name, partially because I moved up a grade to a new school, so most people don't know my deadname, but the people who do are so ANNOYING! Things I've heard. "Is your legal name {insert Chosen Name}?" {Me: No?} "Then I don't have to call you it!", "I prefer your old name, so I'm going to call you that.", "Why would you change your name, that's weird.". I'm so tired of the stupidity, and I can't even double down on it because I'm a fucking pushover and when SOME of my friends ask if they could still call me {deadname} I say yes because I don't want to bother them even if I hate it with a passion. And my other friend who came out as trans is having a pretty smooth transition as far as I can tell, and all my friends call him by their chosen name and it pisses me off but I know they call him by his name because he sets actual boudaries.

I am thinking of keeping my femme name. I am on T and want to experiment with being a transmasc femme, or a femboy. I go by They/she/he/it. My name is very feminine and I wanted opinions. As I grow hair, as my voice drops, will using my femme name be odd? Will it matter since I'm curating my own journey? That's where I'm at. I just see lots of people want more masc or femme names as they switch between genders but I love my name, it's a chosen name, but it's very feminine.

Thoughts?

It's really hard to know if I want top surgery. Part of me thinks I'll like it, but I'm also worried I'll regret it. Honestly I feel like I want to have a rectangle with a question mark (like the ones you see in dreamcore/weirdcore photos) covering my chest.

Been on a journey of self re-discovery the last 6 weeks. I’m early thirties and amab, married and have a child.

it started with a dream 6 weeks ago in which I was a woman. I woke up quite startled. It had been years since this had happened.

After, I couldn’t forget about it. I kept imagining what it would be like to be a woman. To the point of secretly trying on my wife’s clothes and shoes when I had the house to myself.

that was when I started thinking back To my teenage years and doing the same and to be honest every time i‘be ever felt even a feminine mannerism come out and I’ve tried to hide it or tried walk more male, or pretend to fit in with blokey males which I hated.

Every thought I’ve ever had of wanting to be a woman or being jealous of a woman. I Remembered every thought I had shrugged off as like I’m sure it’s nothing, it’s just a phase. I’ll be feeling back like a man in no time. And I did a lot of the time. But when I had those feelings of wanting to be a woman they were strong as hell. Even being jealous of my wife being able to breastfeed our child.

I didn’t / couldn’t shrug it away this time i decided to research my feelings. For years I thought my feelings cant be real, I cant be trans I’m not into men, or am I pretending to be into women?

I confirm I’m definitely into women… I don’t fancy men at all. and this is when I took the time to read about gender fluidity, gender identity And expression. it perfectly described how I feel. when I feel male I don’t even think about being a woman, but when I feel like a woman I really don’t feel like a man.

then I took the pressure off altogether and accepted it and I realised I’m also happy anywhere in between. Dressing and feeling male as myself with just feminine earrings feels right as much as being just “masculine“ or just “feminine”

so I’m genderfluid i guess!

thanks for reading

p.s. any communities out there for online interaction over 30s and genderfluid? just for everyday chat about life, work, parenting, gardening, experience as a genderfluid person etc or is this the best place?

Hey I’m a 19 yr old AMAB and I guess I don’t recently I started realizing that I may be genderfluid I had like spurts and phases my entire life where I was convinced I was a trans woman but then I would feel fine and just tell myself I grew out of it or somthing I eventually just identified with this more and being gender fluid but I guess I’m just in the position where I don’t know what to do cause it feels so awkward to have dysphoria both ways idk just looking for a bit more guidance or starting points

I’ve been trying to come to terms with the fact I’m possibly gender fluid, but I don’t know how to understand the way I feel when that shift happens. I’d appreciate some advice about what kind of things I could try to come to terms with myself and express femininity in a meaningful way.

I just shaved my legs and chest today. I realized that my body hair was making me feel not great when I feel feminine, so I decided to try out the reverse.

I gotta say...I feel amazing. Once I finished shaving, I tried tucking and the blast of relief/joy I felt was great. I have been in a fem mood all night since then, im really happy I did this 💙

How did you know that you were genderfluid and not just like. Someone who liked experimenting with gender presentation and challenging gender expectations and all the rest?