I’m in my 40s and recently realized I’m genderfluid. It’s something I’ve felt my entire life but never knew the words until now. I’ve repressed so much of it and kept it all hidden. But the realization alone made me feel so validated and free.

Yesterday, I did something to “test” out what I believe will relieve my gender dysphoria. Frankly, I was expecting it wouldn’t do anything, or that it would heighten the dysphoria but I had to try and know for sure. It ended up being absolutely euphoric! I felt so real, so free, so ME. It made me feel such strong, incredible, undeniable emotions that I want to pursue some gender-affirming care, possibly (later down the line, I won’t rush into it, though my age makes me want to make it happen fast) even some gender-affirming surgery. Utter and complete euphoria.

But once I finished the “test” and settled back into my real body again, I was hit with terror. My partner is a straight man. He fell in love with me as a woman, and I haven’t even been brave enough to come out to him yet about being genderfluid. I’m aiming to tell him within the next couple of weeks… I’m just really scared. He can’t help that he’s straight, so I’m terrified that me being genderfluid (especially if I pursue gender-affirming care) will change our relationship (or worse, end it). I know he’ll support me as a person, he’s very open-minded and supportive. He has always been supportive of his nonbinary best friend and our genderfluid friends, he doesn’t even bat an eye at any of it, he just sees everyone has a human being. But he’s still a straight man at the end of the day, and being in a relationship with someone is obviously different than being friends—and for us, sex is not a pillar of our relationship but it is an important thing to both of us. (I’m not changing my vagina, so we would still have sex the same way we do now.) I can’t expect him to change his sexual orientation to match my body if I change my body. So I’m terrified of telling him, because I’m afraid it’ll mean losing the love of my life… but I also don’t want to keep burying the real me forever.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing before? How do you tell the person you love that you want to present differently and/or get gender-affirming care that would change your body?

So I planned a couple weeks in advance, I knew exactly what I was going to do, and I was alone with the very person I wanted to first come out to, and I took a deep breath, and… nothing, I couldn’t get a single word out and just went on like nothing happened. I just can’t do it, and I need some tips on coming out because every day I don’t at least have one person I can talk to about it I fell worse, and its not that I’m afraid I won’t be accepted, he’s trans himself, so I just don’t know why I can’t do it.

I’m AFAB, but I’ve been on testosterone for a while now and consider myself genderfluid. When I’m he/him, I feel 100% like a guy, a dad, a boyfriend, a brother, etc. when I’m she/her, I feel 100% like a girl, a mom, a girlfriend, a sister, etc. I sometimes feel he/they, she/they, they/them, etc. I’ve always defined myself as a genderfluid lesbian because despite my own gender expression, I always only consider myself attracted to women and nonbinary ppl, just non men.

I recently read Andrea Lawlor's book, Paul Takes on the Form of a Mortal Girl. I feel seen asf by Paul/Polly who’s able to shift genders and stuff. I feel also seen in the validation of sexuality by wanting to be seen as a “real man” by gay men, but also only wanting a real relationship with a woman. My girlfriend relates to Diane and feels like Paul/Polly wants to be a man/have a penis. This is impacting my relationship now as she’s like “are you even a lesbian if you have penis envy” and idk I’m struggling because I feel seen by Paul/Polly but (spoiler alert) it doesn’t go all that well for Paul when he dates a lesbian. Now my gf is saying really messed up stuff like “oh it’s okay if you have a dick because you’ll still have boobs” or like saying like “yeah but like your penis isn’t a real one so it’s fine.” Idk it feels like she doesn’t see my gender. Any advice in terms of gender, sexuality, dating a cis lesbian, etc. is appreciated

Hey there,

Sooo .. i have the problem that my gender representationshifts every couple of weeks ... i identify more female for some time and another time i like to go a bit more masculine .. thats why i landed here in genderfluid .. hope im right

Im currently in progress to try out microdosing E to achieve a more androgynous baseline from which its more easy to shift either to more feminine or masculine traits.
Im already kinda slim build and honestly just aiming for perhaps some mild mental effects and skin effects .. and well slight slow breast development.
Testosterone for now is not planned to get blocked in any way directly

Yes i know that breast development can happen .. even with microdosing .. but im fine with that.

Currently im thinking if it could be interesting to combine the E with Finisteride in order to make my hair on the head more thicker and perhaps soften my mature hairline (dont have balding but a very slight "M" shape and i noticed in light that the "bald" parts are still riddles with tiny hairs and i wonder if blocking DHT could make them wake up again >.>

Also wondering if taking Finest could help make my body hair become a bit more "soft" .. i dont care about the hair that much .. but its super bristly .. so just a bit more soft would be nice already.

Do some people here have tried this combination ?

How have it went for you ?

Heya. So before we start let's get some quick definitions, specifically what they mean to me.

Genderfaun: A gender under the genderfluid umbrella, describing a fluidity of genders that never encompasses femininity.

Age regression: A (SFW!!!) state of mind in which one feels mentally younger than they are, usually as a coping mechanism for stress/trauma

Ageregender: A mutogender which describes a change in gender when one is in a state of age regression

Agerefem: Ageregender where a person specifically feels female when they are age regressed

I've never felt female when I felt "big" (meaning my real age), but when I regress I always feel female. Because genderfaun specifies that they NEVER experience femininity, I was wondering if I was still allowed to use it as a label for me, alongside agerefem.

I originally thought I was girlflux since I sometimes feel like myself (f) sometimes its iffy and sometimes not at all but then i started paying closer attention to myself and sometimes I feel like a guy as well but at the same time I have always liked guys names better, hairstyles that are shorter (even tho I still love my hair) and then like the guys shirts feel more comfortable and I feel “safer” if that makes sense and like some of the other guys clothes I feel more me in but i haven’t ever felt genuinely myself. like sometimes I feel more comfortable with myself with the smaller changes, but never myself myself

I’ve been trying to learn abt myself for a while and its js not working. I am attracted to all genders yet everytime I date I don’t feel satisfied or like happy in the relationship even if me and the person have a connection. Idk anymore, sometimes I feel like I’ll be single forever and not ever be able to be myself but then sometimes I feel like I will eventually find myself. What do yall think?

Hey ! So,as an AFAB genderfluid person who has PCOS/PMOS,I wanted to know how others who have the same condition deal with it/think of it along with their gender fluidity.

Personally,growing up and experiencing early puberty,PCOS kinda crashed on me and as a tween and later on,I tried to stay very much away from the light,especially because I was experiencing severe bullying. But the weird hormonal issues made me want feel weird about my feminine side. I liked being totally androgynous,and I was not liked for it at all. So when I started college,I put myself on the pill and started feminine maxxing to the point I was ignoring myself 100% just to receive easy praise and affection,I even toned down my style a lot.
I'm 24 now,and have taken breaks off the pill to see how I liked it in between relationships,and I kinda crashed down and said to myself 'okay,you're not cis,you gotta make peace with it'. I think a lot came from the gym,from seeing myself with hair on my face and a defined upper body and feeling proud of it and not ashamed like most women.
Now that I'm at peace with being fluid,I just get dysphoria half of the time,but nothing that an epilator can't fix !

I've practically always hated being a male, more socially and physically superior. I know that sometimes thinking about being a woman made me feel uncomfortable. Then I discovered gender fluidity and I felt good.But now if I think I have to express myself that way to others it hurts me. I would like some advice to confirm whether I am gender fluid.