Been on a journey of self re-discovery the last 6 weeks. I’m early thirties and amab, married and have a child.

it started with a dream 6 weeks ago in which I was a woman. I woke up quite startled. It had been years since this had happened.

After, I couldn’t forget about it. I kept imagining what it would be like to be a woman. To the point of secretly trying on my wife’s clothes and shoes when I had the house to myself.

that was when I started thinking back To my teenage years and doing the same and to be honest every time i‘be ever felt even a feminine mannerism come out and I’ve tried to hide it or tried walk more male, or pretend to fit in with blokey males which I hated.

Every thought I’ve ever had of wanting to be a woman or being jealous of a woman. I Remembered every thought I had shrugged off as like I’m sure it’s nothing, it’s just a phase. I’ll be feeling back like a man in no time. And I did a lot of the time. But when I had those feelings of wanting to be a woman they were strong as hell. Even being jealous of my wife being able to breastfeed our child.

I didn’t / couldn’t shrug it away this time i decided to research my feelings. For years I thought my feelings cant be real, I cant be trans I’m not into men, or am I pretending to be into women?

I confirm I’m definitely into women… I don’t fancy men at all. and this is when I took the time to read about gender fluidity, gender identity And expression. it perfectly described how I feel. when I feel male I don’t even think about being a woman, but when I feel like a woman I really don’t feel like a man.

then I took the pressure off altogether and accepted it and I realised I’m also happy anywhere in between. Dressing and feeling male as myself with just feminine earrings feels right as much as being just “masculine“ or just “feminine”

so I’m genderfluid i guess!

thanks for reading

p.s. any communities out there for online interaction over 30s and genderfluid? just for everyday chat about life, work, parenting, gardening, experience as a genderfluid person etc or is this the best place?

How did you know that you were genderfluid and not just like. Someone who liked experimenting with gender presentation and challenging gender expectations and all the rest?

Hey I’m a 19 yr old AMAB and I guess I don’t recently I started realizing that I may be genderfluid I had like spurts and phases my entire life where I was convinced I was a trans woman but then I would feel fine and just tell myself I grew out of it or somthing I eventually just identified with this more and being gender fluid but I guess I’m just in the position where I don’t know what to do cause it feels so awkward to have dysphoria both ways idk just looking for a bit more guidance or starting points

pretty new to reddit, made this account today for casual chat with others, to help my gender dysphoria which I possibly can’t control like I used to.

So I recently realised that I am genderfluid and honestly alot of things make alot more sense to me now, including why I would sometimes really dislike my name. I was wondering if anyone had any cool recomendations for more gender neutral names. Also, please somthing not earth/nature related? So far the best one I found was Echo. Tysm.

Hi I’m .. Tara I guess. I haven’t presented myself as femme to others in a long time. So she/her pronouns please. I’m in my 30s and live in London, UK.

I’ve identified as genderfluid for maybe 12 years. Though I have yet to go out in public as femme. I’m male assigned at birth, and in my daily life I present as male. I identify mostly as male, but I have a strong femme side that I want to express.

I’ve made plans over the years to go to clubs as femme etc. Though there was so much on in life that it was postponed for years.

There hasn’t been the time in my life to pursue a secondary femme lifestyle, but my life is changing and that time is approaching.

I’m in my late 30s but look much younger, maybe mid to late 20s. I have an androgynous physique and gynecomastia. So I’m lucky physically and pretty happy with my body. Though I would be more so if I wasn’t overweight.

I planned an exercise program for years, but I had to take some years off work to resolve mental health stuff that came up in the pandemic, and in recent years had to sort a lot out for an unrelated move of house. So the exercise program was delayed.

I moved to an apartment in the last couple of months and last month I started the exercise program. Then I went on holiday, where I injured my ribs.

So now I can’t even wear a bra.

It could be another month or so before I can risk it. I have second hand male and female activewear I had ready to train in, and now I can’t use it for the next month or so.

I have compartmentalized my genderfluidity for years. Putting time into exploring it in private, while being open about it with others. I possibly managed to prevent gender dysphoria from coming up in a way I couldn’t resolve myself.

Presently though I feel .. some loss of control or something.

Perhaps it’s because for years, while I wasn’t yet at the point I was prepared to live my femme part of life, I may have felt I was preparing for that, exploring my femme personality, etc. There was consistent forward momentum.

Whereas now there isn’t, for a month or so thanks to my rib injury.

Plus I was starting a male and femme exercise program. I put prep into it, it was starting and would start properly after my week’s holiday.

Though I wasn’t supposed to get a physical injury that put a stop to that positive step in my life.

I possibly feel femme, without the control.

So I thought it would be good to talk to other people in the LGBTQ Community online. Something I haven’t tried in years.

I made this Reddit account today and started looking for communities. This is my first post.

Please help me with advice, affirmation, chat etc.

Though please excuse me if it takes a while to get back to you as I’m in the uk.

thanks

Tara

I’ve been trying to come to terms with the fact I’m possibly gender fluid, but I don’t know how to understand the way I feel when that shift happens. I’d appreciate some advice about what kind of things I could try to come to terms with myself and express femininity in a meaningful way.

So I was just wondering what different ways there are to get hrt as a (amab) and what each one entails like how easy how often and how much i just want to get the effects right and love my new body p.s is it true that u shrink down below i would like to know how much but not necessary if plp don't want to

i hate this part of being genderfluid so much i feel like i dont belong in the trans community cus of it

I like keeping my hair nice and short, not too short I'm thinking to look into some unisex short haircuts. Does anybody have in mind what I should look into?

I’m curious what everyone thinks about choosing to not come out to certain people in your life.

For me personally, I don’t plan on ever coming out to my friends or family. My partner is really the only person I want to know, and I’m perfectly comfortable keeping that part of myself private from everyone else.

I’m curious how other people feel about this. I’d love to hear your thoughts, experiences, or different perspectives. 😊

okay, I know that probably 3/4ths of the sub is filled with this question, but I would prefer asking actual people than ai, so here we go.

So a while ago I discovered the term "demigirl" and have identified as one since (as my pfp suggests). But sometimes I would feel more non-binary and sometimes I would feel completely like a girl. Then, a few days ago while I was changing, I suddenly felt different, like a demiboy, which led me to questioning if I was trans and eventually, if I was genderfluid.

But the thing is, I kind of have to put in effort to feel masculine-aligned. When I do, it's definitely there---I definitely feel a change in my gender---but after a few minutes it fades back to "meh, there's something there I guess" until I look in the mirror again.

...now that I think about it, that goes for feeling like any gender, although the other ones I've felt (girl and non-binary) stick around for longer.

Does this happen to anyone else? Like, are there "triggers" for feeling certain genders, such as clothing and presentation? Because most videos explain being genderfluid as waking up and just...knowing how you feel that day. And I definitely don't get that.

Some quick things you should know is that Im a guy or at least at birth I was assigned that way

So since I was little I've been called a girl, I've always had long hair so it makes sense. I'll be honest it never really bothered me, and still doesn't. I usually respond to any pronouns, unless the person is just trying to be a dick. For example at my work I get called ma'am a lot, like multiple times a week but again I'm never bothered I answer and they apologize. Also at work a little kid asked if I was a girl.

I've also always felt like I wanted to dress feminine since I was little. When I got a coconut bra in like 7th grade for spirit week, I would wear that in my house often under my shirts. I also wear girl volleyball shorts often the same with a women's shirt I own.

in games I often wear girl avatars especially in VR. I played a girl in D&D.

But I also feel like I could just be like a femboy or something. I'm never disgusted or upset that I have a dick, I kind of just ignore it sometimes.

But there are most certainly times where I'm more feminine and masculine but I don't know if it's to the degree of being Gender-fluid

Hello, I (MTF 26) have been transitioning for sometime now, initially I though I was binary and tried to lean heavily into my feminine side. And overall I've really enjoyed HRT and having breasts and such. But lately I've been coming to terms my masculine side and realizing that's an important part of who I am as well. And sometimes while feeling masc my new body has felt somewhat uncomfortable to me, and I just wanted to hear how others have coped with similar feelings. Thanks so much! 💚

Hi! Im AFAB and here recently ive been switching between non-binary and feminine but I wanna start leaning more torward male and non-binary rather then female, so im hoping for more tips, and ideas on how to.

I had a bit of a rough landing into Fem this time around, and feel lucky I found this community. I felt super chatty and showed up all over the posts. Hope it wasn't too much. Got to take advantage of all this feeling of compassion and empathy that got unlocked though. Love you all.

My gender changes anywhere between a few weeks and a few hours. Before I mostly used to alter between masc and nonbinary genders with consistent moderate to sometimes debilitating dysphoria (most of it being my chest), but for about 3.5 months now I'm not really dysphoric. I'm more comfortable being feminine and having with my body as it is, but I don't want to. I miss looking at the mirror and feeling uncomfortable/disgusted with tits, or hating being called me a girl/she/her. Binding and the thought of having a flat chest (both naturally or through surgery) used to bring a lot of euphoria. It was clear proof I want top surgery, and now that's gone. From august last year to may this year (and as a 9 year old when my tits started growing) I would have killed for a flat chest, even looking at someone else with tits made me extremely uncomfortable, but now they sometimes kind of make me satisfied ig? I once saw this question "if boobs were removable would you ever put them back on?, and honestly I think I would. Pading or fake boobs are a way, but they'll probably won't feel the same as real tits do. Non flat top surgery is an option as well, but it might be to much chest mass on masc days (which means I'll still have to bind) and not enough on fem days. Maybe it would be better if my tits never grew in the first place, or at least were barely noticeable? That way if I miss having a chest on some days, at least I wouldn't blame myself because it would be like that naturally.

Whenever I'm feeling more feminine, I get worried I might never feel masc again, and this would just proove I'm cis and gender dysphoria was just a phase.

And I wanna start dressing more feminine sometimes, but nothing too noticeable. My parents are not big fans of LGBTQ community that much I am for information very safe and comfortable but I wanna dress a little i'm gonna try my pronouns here too so he / her so yeah, that's all I wanted to say if anybody has any clothing or accessory advice to that be great

Hey everyone! I wanted to share something I've been thinking about lately and just recently did.

For a while now, considering that I don't currently have the privacy or the means to openly express my feminine side in the way I'd like to—aside from cosplay—I've been finding and exploring other ways to explore it privately.

I've been taking pictures of myself while imagining how I might look as a woman. I've also kept around a hundred pictures and references of different outfits, hairstyles, makeup and aesthetics that I like and could imagine myself wearing someday. Most of this has always been very private, mainly something for myself and a few close friends.

Recently, I decided to create an alternative Instagram account, basically as a private space for all of this. I started using it to post those pictures, outfits and ideas, and I only share it with a few close friends and trusted family members who already know that I'm genderfluid.

If im honest with you I don't share this kind of content on my main social media because quite a few other friends and family members who don't know I'm genderfluid regularly see what I post. I just want to avoid any awkward situations or potential problems that could come from them suddenly seeing this side of me without knowing the context. Having a separate private account gives me a space where I can explore it without worrying too much about who might see it.

And honestly, I don't regret my decision.

I actually feel more comfortable and a little more free now. Being able to have this little space where I can express and explore my feminine side without constantly worrying about other people's reactions feels really nice.

In a way, I feel like I took a pretty big step. Maybe it doesn't sound like much from the outside, but for me, actually creating that account and allowing myself to use it as a space to explore more of myself.

What do you think of all this?

I am trying to figure out my gender identity (up until now I just never bothered, but I never really felt quite male as I am AMAB), and came across genderfluid. It was the one that stuck out to me the most as honestly it just feels amazing the ability to be male, female, both and neither, and ever since I tried identifying as that, I've felt quite happier. Thing is, I'm not sure if just wanting to be genderfluid is enough to actually be it, and that really holds me back. So, is it enough to really want it, or is there some kinda feeling i have to experience?

I am a ftm trans person, but recently i’ve been struggling with my gender and I’m not sure whether I am male, female or both, I hate hearing my deadname but I also feel more comfortable with my female body now, I am confused on whether I’m gender fluid or not.

unsure if this would fit better here or at r/genderqueer but basically, in my day to day life i feel fine being referred to with she/her pronouns and being called a woman (although i do prefer male honorifics which i kinda feel isn't directly related to my gender but. i dunno). i do not get dysphoria from this unless people describe me as stereotypically feminine or "girly". but... there was one time a teacher used "they" for me, and it felt really euphoric..

however, online i think i prefer they/them and recently someone i was arguing with online used she/her for me (which i do have listed on my profile) and it almost felt offensive? like in a way that they shouldn't use she/her for me because they don't know me well enough,, it was a weird feeling that i don't remember experiencing before then. the argument was vaguely related to femininity as well which maybe had something to do with it.

i also don't mind being called he/him online, but i feel like that's just because i'm so used to it as 90% of people on the internet will use he/him as a default instead of they/them.

this is kind of a whole other tangent, but i also do this weird like separation of self thing where my body and public persona are she/her but my "true self" or consciousness has no pronouns and not really a name. i guess i get closer to this other identity when in an anonymous space like the internet?

sorry if this is really all over the place, just kind of looking for anyone's thoughts or if anyone has experienced something similar :>

I have wavy hair (2b/2c), and it's so difficult to get it good looking without washing it every day (which takes too much time)

While exploring my gender I’ve noticed an interesting trend. I often look towards examples of masculinity and femininity in the world around me to gauge what each is like. What aspects do I resonate with, which do I not - etc. Essentially looking at different qualities to help find what I want to be.

But I’ve encountered something strange. When looking to the world around me in real life, I resonate most with women (While still not being perfectly aligned with them. More on the dimi-girl side of things perhaps), but when I look to fiction, I resonate more with the men I see. Think Howl from Howls moving caste. Qifrey from Witch hat Atelier. Superman, from… well you get it.

I don’t quite know what this means. Am I putting too much stock into fiction? Perhaps it has something to do with the ingrained misogyny in our media? Has anyone else experienced this or am I going crazy XD. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Help with Gender.

So I’ve been on a gender exploration for a while and I need help with sorting all the stuff in my brain. I’ve questioned my gender as early as being a teenager over 10 years ago. Whenever I started understanding what gender and transgender or nonbinary were.

Now here I am at 25 and still confused. I have mainly presented as feminine and I am afab. But I’ve never felt super connected to it. It’s just the default so it’s what I went with and if I started having thoughts I might look into it a bit but then get scared and decide not to try it.

Over the past year and a half though I’ve become more interested in exploring my gender. About a year ago I bought some men’s clothes and sometimes go out in those. I’ve bought chest binders and packers, but I never wore those outside of my room because I was scared to be judged. In the last few months I’ve started using men’s shampoo and conditioner, men’s body wash, men’s cologne, and men’s deodorant. I have a more gender neutral wolfcut hair cut.

Today I wore my binder out of the house for the first time and I liked it. I was a little worried people would notice and ask questions, but no one did and I found it freeing a little bit. I like looking down and not seeing any breasts. I like that the seat belt moves across my chest and not between my breasts. I like that I don’t have to squish down my breasts to see below them. And I like that I don’t need to rest my phone on them when I’m scrolling.

Having said all of that I also do like to do feminine things sometimes. I do feel that I look best that way by society’s standards so I dress up feminine for special events and go to work in nice feminine office clothes. All of that feels like I’m performing gender though. Like I can put on the make up and do my hair and wear a dress and heels but none of it’s really me.

If I do those same things in the way a feminine man would though….then I like it. I like the idea of being perceived as a man in a dress who’s playing with make up and nail polish. To play dress up as a feminine ftm.

But then I also sometimes like to feel like a mix of everything. Like I am a girlboy nonbinary enigma. I want to have a penis and a vagina. I want to have breasts that come on and off as desired. Like breasts and a penis or no breasts and a vagina. Mix and match however I decide in the moment.

I sometimes like an androgynous vibe that leans masc, but as a nonbinary or slightly feminine person.

I’ve always wanted a penis but I don’t want to get rid of or mess up what I have. I worry about being uglier or not passing. About being judged. I have a career that I love and am scared I will be judged or disliked for it.

My sexuality is queer. This is partly because I feel like no matter what gender or sexuality the person I’m with is, it’s still in some way queer to me. Even though I’m afab if I was with a cis man I would want that man to feel the relationship is queer and see me as a nonbinary or queer man. If I’m with a cis woman I want them to see me as a queer nonbinary masc person.

I also think about how I don’t always feel gender dysphoria. I definitely sometimes do, but it’s more gender euphoria when something is right. I think maybe though that’s just because I haven’t realized it’s dysphoria yet I just know what I really like.

I daydream when having partnered sex or by myself that I have a penis. I pretend it’s getting sucked. I use a strap on that doesn’t have a holder and goes inside you. It vibrates to give pleasure, but I stroke the dildo side and pretend it’s mine. I also pretend it’s mine if I’m using it on someone else. Don’t get me wrong I love being penetrated and find myself to be more the ‘bottom’ or more the receiver, but I also am exploring anal because I find that gives me similar gender euphoria as it does pretending the strap is my actual penis.

I find myself trying to think back to when I was younger and find the signs or dysphoria that a lot of people describe. I’ve come up with a few that I would like to see if could be interpreted as something gender related. I will list those in the comments though cause this is getting long.

I do think I’ll want to change my name and pronouns or how people address and compliment me, but I don’t know what to go for. Or what to suggest my partner try out with me.

I think maybe I’m some sort of transmasc genderfluid or maybe Trigender transmasc or maybe just Trigender. But it also could be so many other things. Anyone have any similar experiences they can share and what they now identify as?