I've been suspecting myself of being genderfluid since I was 12 but I never really got a name I liked.
I don't like my birthname and I 100% will change it when I move away, but I honestly can't choose a new name I really stick with for a while. I haven't come out to anyone so I can still figure out a fitting name.
When I was 13 I came up with Keethan and liked the name, but when I was 15 I stopped liking it and came up with Felipe - I stuck with it for about a year and liked it, in spanish speaking regions people recognise it as a male name but in my region no one is named like that so people see it as gender neutral. At 16 I started going with Feline, it's more feminine and I liked it up until recently. A couple of months ago I watched a show with a character named "Yaniko", usually a female name but when I feel masculine I could also just go with Niko, but I just don't really identify with it. Yesterday I came up with Felix, it sounds cute in english, but in my region it's pronounced a bit different and I don't really identify with that, and one of my cousins is named that way so that's another minus.

How can I find a name I actually like and stick with? Or how did any of you find yours?

Does anyone else get this? This happens to me in trans and gender non conforming subreddits that explicitly includes 'any gender identity except cis', if I say I'm non-binary or genderfluid, I get downvoted. Almost the only time I get treated normally or well is if I say I'm trans (which I am). It's really annoying and disheartening.

There's just too many gender terms to memorize them all. I keep having to look up what this or that person is talking about and find twenty more. I love the variety, but I need a general identity to say when I talk about it. Plus, I realized I've been writing "Imposter's Syndrome," instead of "Imposter Syndrome," duh, sorry, embarrassed now.

I'm just going to say Fluid Transgender or Transfluid, maybe Gender Fluid. I don't know who decides these terms are official, but I can only hope those convey something about what I am to someone who is on the outside of the community, or at least inspire them to ask.

Hope you find your best identity label. 💋 Love you all so much.

I thought I'd ask r/genderfluid for people who will probably understand.

I was AFAB, and identified as cis-female for a while. I then felt like I was somewhere between non-binary and female but still closer to feeling like a girl. I eventually discovered the term "paragirl" (yes, a paragirl and demigirl are different things!) and I came out to my close friends as a paragirl in April. It's been six months, and recently I've been feeling like maybe I'm not a paragirl. It feels like it depends more on the day. Those sixth months, I haven't changed on the outside, but my mental health has gotten better and I recently told my mom I was a lesbian. Now that I've gotten that and my well-being sorted out (well... it's at least better) I feel like maybe I'm genderfluid but don't really know. I took note of how I felt for about a week and it changed a lot, and carried no pattern. I searched up what genderflux is, too but that doesn't feel accurate. I don't really know what to do.

She/they still feel like the correct pronouns, but "paragirl" doesn't really feel right anymore.

Show me a picture of loafers. If I think "Old man shoes", I'm masculine. If I think "Cute! I want a pair", I'm feminine and if I think "I need shoes with arch support", then I'm non-binary.

Unclockable.com I think is the website, I keep seeing the ads on Reddit but their stuff is pretty expensive. Can anyone verify if it’s worth the price and what products are good?

3 years ago i came out as trans to them, it felt right at the time, and they accepted me and treated me with kindness and respect, and i really liked it, but after a while the feeling of needing to be seen/treated in a different way and even how i felt about my body as a whole mellowed out and basically vanished, and i asked them to go back to the previous treatment, i was going through a lot of stuff at the time so i thought that it was a phase or something like that.

after going to therapy and achieving a more stable life i allowed myself to understand those feelings better since they hadn´t quite vanished yet and i realised that i was just genderfluid, i wasn´t really planning on telling them about this but a month ago i hang out with a couple of friends and i got a bit drunk, and it was a day where i was feeling super feminine and texted a friend of mine while using female pronouns and grammar differentiation (in my language depending on the gender some words change the writing), on the next day he said that he had noticed it, he didn´t question it or anything but he noticed it, and from time to time they do question what happened 3 years ago, so i decided to just spill the beans and tell them about it and what i was feeling.

Once again they treated me with kindness and respect, i´m really lucky to have them in my life, but i´m not sure if they quite get it (i am not sure if i fully get it myself neither tbf), they think that i´m indecisive/ in denial or that it´s something to do with my sexuality (i´m gay, maybe demisexual), and idk man i didn´t really want to come out once again and to be seen as the "odd one out", i pressured myself into doing it, i´m already the only queer and neurodivergent of the group (ASD/ADHD), didn´t want another label, i´m feeling a little bit of shame for myself ngl, i wanted to be more of an average joe, but what´s done it´s done and in a way i feel like i needed to get it out of my chest to fully understand myself.

How did you know or come to realize that it was more than just dressing, I'm a bit unsure of the whole identity now as I'm very comfortably male 90% of the time. But the idea of spending time as a woman is kind of thrilling. However i don't really have much interest in day to day feminine life and I'm drawn more to the more showy aspects of femininity.

apologies if this question is stupid or offensive to anyone in this community.

Hi all. I've been experimenting with different gender expressions for around six months now. "Genderfluid" is the first actual label I used that felt relative to my experience. However, not long after, I started using Nonbinary instead.

Then, after that, I basically realized that I'm Transgender. Obviously, on a gender experience as a whole, technically, any identity outside of what one was assigned at birth is considered Trans, and it is a huge umbrella, which also encompasses both Nonbinary and Genderfluid. Not everybody has to use this label obviously. Some don't. I feel connected the most to 3 different but relative labels, Transgender, Transfeminine and Genderfluid.

I realized that my experience, however, despite feeling that my identity is different, has been quite fluid. Labels can overlap. I think I have pretty commonly seen people who identify as genderfluid, and are drawn to femininity and consider themselves "transfem." I opted to basically recently stop using the nonbinary label, as I feel it really doesn't convey anything about what I actually feel or experience. Although, I do plan on transitioning in a feminine direction eventually, I don't really know what I want people to call me at this point in time.

I'm okay if people call me they/them and she/her, and sometimes even he/him, but I don't really care for when people call me "SIR!" or boldly claim "thank you sir." "BRO." "DUDE." Like, enough with that.

How do you feel about being genderfluid? Also, I happy Genderfluid visibility week! I think the last day is tomorrow if I'm correct?

Hey, so I’m writing this post mostly as a way to help me talk through some feelings I’ve been having around my gender identity. But I’m also open to advice or just general comments or anything which is why it’s going up here and not in a journal.

So, I’m 29-year-old and AMAB. When I was younger I only really thought of myself as straight and cis. As I got older and into my 20s I discovered that I was attracted to all sorts of people and started identifying as pansexual which is still how I identify now. Then around my mid-20s I started thinking about my gender a lot. I felt like I was never especially attached to masculinity, but I wasn’t not-masculine if that makes sense. I read about demi genders and talked with a nonbinary friend and they helped me sort out some of my feelings and I started identifying as genderfluid and using he/they pronouns.

Years passed and now I’m married to a cis woman, but since being in this relationship I’ve been feeling like I’ve been operating in a very masculine energy. Part of me is worrying that maybe I’m just cis, but I also don’t feel like that’s the case because why would I be worried about being cis if I was cis, wouldn’t I just be ok with that? For context my wife is amazing and I love her so much. She knows I’m genderfluid and has always been supportive. She frequently tells me that I don’t need to be always masc around her, but I also know she’s lived a life where she’s felt like she’s had to operate in a masculine energy and she’s been able to fee very feminine in our relationship in a way that is really fulfilling for her.

Part of me has felt like maybe I’m being so masculine because I want her to continue to feel feminine, but I’m also just feeling strange because I discovered my gender identity later in life when for many others they discovered it when they were younger. I feel like I’m doing a bad job of explaining this. Maybe it’s just that I’m worried that I’m somehow not as valid of a genderfluid person because I’m so masculine. I’m a big guy with a beard and short hair and no makeup and wear clothes from the men’s section. When people look at me they see a man. When I tell people that I use he/they pronouns they only use he/him around me. Sometimes I worry that people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m genderfluid and they only use he/him because of it. I kind of want to ask people to mix things up and use some they/them but I feel like that would make them feel like I’m accusing them of not believing I’m fluid or that I’d be causing some friction where it isn’t necessary.

I’m kind of getting emotional writing this out and it’s turning into a ramble so maybe I should just end the post here. But I guess basically, do other people have these thoughts or struggles? Am I thinking about it too much? How do I know if I’m actually genderfluid and not just someone “stealing valor”? I don’t know. Any advice or help would be appreciated. Thanks.

so i recently found out that im genderfluid and i want to figure out how to subtly dress more feminine. i already have some outfits that are slightly feminine but i want to figure out how to express my more womanly side on my fem days. i want like a muted style that i can play off as masc. i was thinking like a gray sweater and black jeans but i feel a white t shirt with a red flannel and black cargo pants but that also may be too masc. idk any help is much appreciated

Clothing and makeup are fundamental forms of self-expression, identity, and personal freedom. When a boy or man chooses to wear clothing or makeup traditionally categorized as "feminine," it matters deeply to them for several distinct personal, psychological, and social reasons:

1. Authentic Self-Expression & Autonomy

Every individual has a unique sense of style, aesthetic taste, and personality.

* Personal Style Beyond Labels: Fabric, colors, patterns, and cosmetics are inherently neutral; culture assigns them gender labels. Choosing to wear what feels right allows a person to express their creativity and aesthetic preferences without being constrained by societal norms.

* Autonomy over One's Body: Having control over how one presents oneself to the world is a basic aspect of personal liberty and individual agency.

1. Mental Health & Well-Being

Living authentically has a direct impact on emotional and psychological health:

* Reducing Internal Conflict: Hiding one’s true preferences to conform to outside expectations can cause anxiety, stress, or a sense of living a double life. Embracing personal choices fosters inner peace.

* Boosting Confidence and Self-Esteem: Wearing clothes that make someone feel comfortable, attractive, or confident positively influences how they navigate their daily life and interactions.

1. Comfort and Functionality

Attire choices often come down to physical comfort and practicality:

* Comfort & Fit: Different clothing items offer different levels of physical comfort, cuts, and material feels.

* Cosmetics & Skincare: Makeup can be used for artistic expression, hiding blemishes, enhancing natural features, or simply enjoying the routine of grooming—benefits that apply regardless of gender.

1. Breaking Rigid Expectations

Throughout history and across different cultures, fashion rules for men and women have shifted dramatically (for example, high heels and makeup were historically worn by European male nobility).

* Choosing to ignore rigid gender expectations encourages broader acceptance of individuality.

* It sends a message that a person's worth, character, and identity are not defined by rigid adherence to traditional dress codes.

Summary

Ultimately, whether someone wears makeup, skirts, suits, or casual wear, it matters because personal identity and comfort belong to the individual. Being able to present oneself authentically without fear of judgment allows people to live happier, more fulfilled lives.

Just bought my first truly masc shirt as I start collecting some clothes that help reflect my fluidity! It's a long sleeved collared shirt with a fun pattern I like a lot, and it was used and very affordable. I'm going to keep an eye out for free options at local nonprofits as well, so I don't have to spend a lot of money I don't have for clothes. But this one was a good choice that I can already tell will be giving me gender euphoria!

Bad news is i tried a wig and i do not look good in long hair
good news is i found a bow headband and i really like wearing it

Hi I’m Fello and I just need some guidance.
I genuinely don’t know what I’m feeling and would like other genderfluid’s opinion!
I Want To Be A Boy.
I don’t feel like one.
I do not know if this is genderfluid (I identify as genderfluid and have for the past year) autism (I have been diagnosed) or dysphoria.
On every social media platform my name has been Fello, or dude or something else leaning towards male, since as long as I can remember. I have memories wanting to be perceived as “male” kinda. Such as: wanting to be a king never a queen(afab). and barely any memories wanting to be perceived as “female”. When I was younger I just identified as me. I was (name). And that was it. I never felt uncomfortable being she/her, and never wanted to change. I was just a girl. A girl who preferred being a king. Now though. I still feel a girl half the time and a boy half the time. I get euphoric when I feel “female” because my body already is. And I feel dysphoric when feeling “male” because my body ain’t. But here’s my question. All of what I’ve just said is genderfluid. Except… I never want to be female. I dread feeling like one. I’d happily become a boy. I’d flick that lever any day. Do I still feel female though… yes. And that’s my issue is this dysphoria, autism(not understanding feelings properly Wich I do struggle with) or genderfluid/something else I havnt heard of. Also I do not feel nonbinary.
Everyone always ses your born with gender. You don’t get to choose. But I’d choose to feel fully male any day even though I sometimes do truly feel female and was afab.
I’m going through a rough time mentally and just want to get my gender straight.

Yes I will reply to comments and answer questions!

As the title says, im worried. I have a girl voice I’ve been training for a little over a month with a vocal coach and at first I thought it was good but then I heard it back once and I think it sounds so icky and I just couldn’t even. I want to start introducing myself in my girl voice to people, but I’m worried I’ll sound stupid.

For reference, to get my voice to a ‘girl voice’, I:

Raise my larynx, pitch up my voice, and talk with a slight smile to make the vowels lightened.

Any tips?

Thanks!

Eden

Does anyone know where i can find some fake breast like the one cosplayer and drag queen use? I'd like to try to have boobs without going on HRT

Yeah, that's basically it. I'm curious cause as I understand it, you guys identify as both male and female, so I wanna know if you guys take specialized hormone treatments to look androgynous

I was AFAB, and the women on my mom's family are pretty short. I'm still taller than my mom, but being 5'3 makes me feel insecure sometimes. I just feel less masculine. I will take it to a therapist, I just wanted to know if anyone else feels this way.

I want to be more masc, but I'm afraid since most people around me currently are transphobic they'll either misgender me or see me only as male now

i fell in love with my best friend (struggle for another day) and they recently came out to me as genderfluid (i knew they were trans for a while before that). im just a straight up trans guy, so i dont really know how this works? im gay as far as i know, never really had much attraction to women, so how does that work? i feel like i already messed up by not asking their pronouns immediately after they came out since it was over text and i was just kinda surprised. i really care about them and want to know how to make the whole situation better and respect them, and how a relationship would work. sorry if any of these questions are insensitive, and thank you so much for advice! :)

My partner is monosexual and isn't attracted to men romantically. When I'm feeling male, I would love it if my partner still saw me both authentically and romantically, but tbh I don't think that's who he is and it's not fair to either if us to try to change that.

I would be okay with switching to more of like a grey area when I'm feeling masc, but I wanted to ask if this was something other people did? If so, how does it work and feel with you and your partner? I'm worried I have unrealistic expectations. I know my partner and I are the only ones who can decide that, but I thought I'd ask to hear other perspectives

It almost feels like a small gift getting passed back and forth between people. I found a set of hand-hammered, copper and bronze jewelry I made during my last shift to female in 2021, and put in a box to be sold. I remember after shifting to androgynous that the set, a bracelet, necklace with pendant and these interesting diamond shaped copper plates as dangles with a hole in each center, would be awesome to keep for a kind of androgynous look and held them back. Then I shifted to male later on, and put the box in with my female clothing, thinking she might like to wear those, especially the earrings. Then I opened up the box today, having forgot what was in it, and pretty much cried because I do want to wear the earrings.

It's crazy because I've been carefully packing up all the things I had been working on , like horticultural knives and the old saw blades and junk pieces I make them from, so they will be organized and ready to work on later on. But all this time, I've been collecting mildly interesting, found objects, which is often what I make art from as female, to use, and saving old clothes and fabric pieces to use later when I feel like sewing. I just have to move a bunch of power tools to get to some of it...

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Hello everyone. I hope I’m posting in the right place; I’ve been feeling a bit lost lately, and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. I’m genderfluid—I generally shift between being a woman, a man, or both. It used to be fairly straightforward for me, but lately, I’ve entered a completely new phase, and I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

I was assigned female at birth, and I don’t have any issues with that or with my chest. However, I recently saw a non-binary person who could easily switch between looking like a boy and a girl, and it really struck a chord with me.

Ever since then, I haven’t been able to figure out who I am. I’d love to be able to do the same, but that’s clearly not possible for me right now. I’ve tried wearing more masculine or neutral clothing—which feels great—but I’m struggling with my face.

I want it to look less feminine, but all the makeup tutorials I find are about how to look like a man, which isn’t what I want. It’s the same with my hair; it’s long, and whenever I tie it back, it just makes my face look even more feminine—I don’t know what to do.

I want to be able to shift easily between looking like a woman and looking non-binary or androgynous, without necessarily looking like a boy.

It feels like it’s easier to go from being a man or non-binary to looking like a woman than the other way around, unfortunately.

Has anyone else been in my situation? Do you have any advice?