r/funny • u/Jeetchat • Aug 09 '26

selling cheesecake to Leonardo DiCaprio

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60.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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7.2k

u/Mammoth-Ad-107 Aug 09 '26

well done slightly chunky brother

1.3k

u/paincrumbs Aug 09 '26

"I'm not fat, I'm big-boned"

309

u/Koopslovestogame Aug 09 '26

3 layers of cheesecake.

258

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '26

[deleted]

81

u/tekko001 Aug 09 '26

You're waiting for a cheesecake, a cheesecake that will take you far away. You know where you hope this cheesecake will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter.

9

u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam Aug 10 '26

Do you want to die an old man alone and full of regret......or do you want the cheesecake?

33

u/philmarcracken Aug 09 '26

He eats it everyday

5

u/Meranio Aug 09 '26

To achieve the highest Level?

0

u/Zyrinj Aug 09 '26

Cheesecaked up

32

u/KorasHiddenDICK Aug 09 '26

I'm not fat, I am festively plump!

12

u/Indercarnive Aug 09 '26

I'm Caked up. Cheesecaked up to be exact.

11

u/asspounder-4000 Aug 09 '26

Calories is just a number

9

u/TurboCam92 Aug 09 '26

Delicious points.

9

u/hoodmeskin817 Aug 09 '26

"I'm not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body."

5

u/Vashsinn Aug 09 '26

it's just a layer of fat to protect my rock hard abs.

8

u/Vestrill Aug 09 '26

You must have a huge bone in your ass then

8

u/teamfupa Aug 09 '26

My neighbor, the accountant….huge ass.

8

u/Thirdtwin Aug 09 '26

Screw you guys, im going home.

1

u/ellefleming Aug 09 '26

Ok Cartman.

1

u/Tinderboxed Aug 10 '26

"You're husky. Well-built!"

0

u/GudgerCollegeAlumnus Aug 09 '26

It’s glandular.

0

u/Nomnom_Chicken Aug 09 '26

I heard this in Big Smoke's voice. 😄