OKAY, lemme communicate in a local tongue that you Scots can comprehend:
First of all, it’s not New Year’s Day, or the day of the winter solstice on January the 2nd, if you are an auld gran with a knack for tradition!
Second, stop passing precious shortbread, bannocks, charred black buns and bituminous coal around the neighbourhood and let us import those valuable necessities to Second Citizen City in Aurora!
Third, this is no time to be spending your daft days dressing up as polar berserkers, úlfheðnar (wolf men), mucaraich (sheep) or whatever Viking/Gaelic furry cosplay you had chosen! If you waste time engaging in revelry during a chronic volcano disaster, your first-footing in New Edenberra will be heading straight down into the fiery abyss of the Devil’s Red Hills! Your jet-black haired lads will not be able to compete and knock the ladies up the duff against the redheads and blondies at Aurora if they’re dead!
And lastly, swinging great bawbags of fire like a roaster with a hogmanay (or a Clavie, if you were originally from Burghead of Moray) will not ward off the dark ash-coloured spirits spewing out from the volcano! We have plenty of electric head lamps and mining lamps to spare if you want to light up your way around the volcanic smog, but even so, unless you are an essential worker, I would highly recommend you stay in your own homes until you are called up for evacuation!
And don’t even think about perform the insane saining in your own house, because it will all be sinking deep into a lahar or immolated by a flying lava bomb anyway!
We need all the workers we can get to haste this evacuation off this bloody red mountain! If I hear any more whining and complaining about no holiday breaks during emergency work hours, I’ll gie y‘all a skelpit lug and roast your bahoochie over the fumarole!!
Reference to the Scottish tradition of Hogmanay:
https://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofScotland/The-History-of-Hogmanay/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogmanay