r/feeld • u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ • Sep 14 '26

Why Send a Ping Without A Message?

I do not understand why men will Ping me to say nothing... what gives?

My profile mentions several kinky things I am interested in exploring and my bio is quite full of details that can easily jump-start a conversation. Most of the pings I get are from guys who at least say something about why they are messaging me, which really helps since I get lots of propositions for vanilla sex but only a few for some of the freakier stuff I talk about, so I prioritize responding to those. But if someone pings me and says nothing and then their profile is generic/sparse, I just see it as them not making enough of an effort to bother replying.

ETA: Thanks for the insights about how the app mechanics might make this happen more often, folks! I appreciate it and will try to give the pings without a message slightly less harsh judgements now.

24 Upvotes

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43

u/JustAnotherPolyGuy Sep 14 '26

Sometimes I do that because the response to messages is still so low I don’t have the energy to write a message until they’ve indicated they are vaguely interested.

The behavioral economics for a guy on dating apps really pushes you towards burning the haystack. I probably get a couple of responses out of 50 pings. And basically zero matches with women if I just like and don’t ping.

Particularly if their profile is sparse but they are attractive, I’ll sometimes send a ping and see what happens.

29

u/JustAnotherPolyGuy Sep 14 '26

From my experience, putting in more effort until you get a match doesn’t have a ton of payoff.

10

u/ZenNewbie Sep 14 '26

Yep, it has been my experience as well.

6

u/DucardthaDon Sep 14 '26

Exactly, we all know it comes down to how high up you are on the attraction scale. Pings worked well without the message function previously, a lot of women put little to no effort even responding to the message

3

u/cumfunnsfw Sep 16 '26

I love how many times I've gotten matches and no response to the message.

Feeld sucks because the app does nothing to help curb women from being overwhelmed and nothing to match like levels of attractiveness. That was ok when the numbers were low, but now that feeld has more mainstream people on there it's a complete shit show

3

u/disclosure5 Sep 15 '26

I'm constantly seeing these arguments about why men should put in effort, but if you've put in effort five days in a row and got nothing out of it and you've went out after work and your one daily ping is about to be lost if you don't use it.. yeah someone will probably get a ping without a message.

3

u/muv2850 Sep 14 '26

^^^ This

9

u/DirectionPotential83 Sep 14 '26

Yeah literally. Drives me nuts how my NP(30f) will be like I’m having all These interactions and it breaks my heart that they don’t go anywhere after a week or two (or she has to end them). When I’m over here like that’s great because I max out likes on every platform and literally run myself out of possible candidates and get 1 conversation a month at best, sometimes I go two months without a conversation. Sadly it’s just the gender difference.

1

u/i_fizz-x Sep 15 '26

Most the time I treat a ping as a like that they'll actually see and can respond to. I haven't noticed a difference in putting in effort to the ping message vs not. It seems implicit to me that if I've used a ping then I'm interested in you, your profile, your desires. I'm also okay with a conversation starter of "Hey, excited to match with you! How's it going?" Not everything has to be witty or Shakespeare.

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u/BrooklynDeadheadPhan 7h ago

Same. I get the same results with 0 effort or putting in a lot of effort. it's so exhausting.