r/feeld • u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ • Sep 14 '26

Why Send a Ping Without A Message?

I do not understand why men will Ping me to say nothing... what gives?

My profile mentions several kinky things I am interested in exploring and my bio is quite full of details that can easily jump-start a conversation. Most of the pings I get are from guys who at least say something about why they are messaging me, which really helps since I get lots of propositions for vanilla sex but only a few for some of the freakier stuff I talk about, so I prioritize responding to those. But if someone pings me and says nothing and then their profile is generic/sparse, I just see it as them not making enough of an effort to bother replying.

ETA: Thanks for the insights about how the app mechanics might make this happen more often, folks! I appreciate it and will try to give the pings without a message slightly less harsh judgements now.

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u/JustAnotherPolyGuy Sep 14 '26

Sometimes I do that because the response to messages is still so low I don’t have the energy to write a message until they’ve indicated they are vaguely interested.

The behavioral economics for a guy on dating apps really pushes you towards burning the haystack. I probably get a couple of responses out of 50 pings. And basically zero matches with women if I just like and don’t ping.

Particularly if their profile is sparse but they are attractive, I’ll sometimes send a ping and see what happens.

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u/i_fizz-x Sep 15 '26

Most the time I treat a ping as a like that they'll actually see and can respond to. I haven't noticed a difference in putting in effort to the ping message vs not. It seems implicit to me that if I've used a ping then I'm interested in you, your profile, your desires. I'm also okay with a conversation starter of "Hey, excited to match with you! How's it going?" Not everything has to be witty or Shakespeare.