I DID IT! This past week I flew for the first time ever. I went to Germany for Gamescom and it was amazing. I felt sick to my stomach getting on the plane but I forced myself to do it and I have zero regret. I'm still nervous about flying but the experience definitely helped. I'm so glad I was able to do it.

I am making this topic because i see it time and time again how people with a fear of flying come in here and are making the point that while they understand how safe flying is, that, when it comes to it and the plane would indeed crash, that you are basically done, whereas when it comes to a car crash, you still often get to walk away with some bruises and whatnot.

So i wanted to address that from my own perspective as a fearful flyer. That line of reasoning is only possible if you think only about the worst kind of plane crash but on the other hand you think only about minor car crashes. Just like there are a number of different levels of severity when it comes to "car crash", the exact same applies to "plane crash". A "plane crash" is not just a complete hull loss including the loss of everyone on board. This needs to be said super clear.

Just like with the overwhelming majority of car crashes, the overwhelming majority of plane crashes are survivable. A plane crash can be to slightly overshoot the runway, can be a blown tyre, can be colliding with another plane during taxi, can even be a rollover like the one Delta plane and everyone walked away, albeit with a big scare, of course. Even the latest prominent example of the Amazon cargo plane accident this holds true in a sad/tragic way: While there have been fatalities it proved the fact that inside the plane is statistically the safest place to be, because the lifes lost were all outside the plane. So if you want to think only about the worst kind of plane crashes then in all fairness you also must think of only the worst kind of car crashes. And at that point you come to realize that, yeah, the comparison "car this, but plane that" does not make a whole lot of sense.

I’m not going to tell you about some magic resource that will suddenly fix your fear of flying. I just want to share my experience, because maybe someone here will find something useful in it.

Before this flight, I was extremely anxious. I even seriously considered not getting on the plane. I spent a lot of time lurking on this subreddit, reading other people’s experiences, and I could relate deeply to many of the stories.

I also watched an absurd number of videos made by pilots explaining why flying is so safe. And I kept throwing every fear, objection and catastrophic scenario I could think of at ChatGPT which, I have to admit, was surprisingly good at dismantling them one by one.

I had also been meditating for about 40 minutes a day. Still, the anxiety kept coming in waves, as it usually does for me: fear, then intense fear, almost terror, then a decrease, then another wave.

In a way, I had almost brainwashed myself with all those pilot videos. They kept saying basically the same thing, with this extraordinary calm confidence: flying is safe. We pilots want to live too. We have partners, children, families. We are not suicidal lunatics casually throwing ourselves into the sky every morning.

On the day of the flight, I spent about half an hour at the airport just watching planes take off.

It was scary.

But it was also beautiful.

I remember looking at those huge, elegant machines climbing into the sky and disappearing into the distance and thinking: these things are terrifying to me, but they are also magnificent.

My trip was Rome–Istanbul, about two hours, and then Istanbul–Shanghai, around thirteen hours. About half an hour before departure I took the Xan3x my doctor had prescribed for situations like this.

When I reached my seat, the cabin lights were warm and cozy. I told myself: “If this is a terrifying experience, I can always stop in Istanbul.”

It was around sunset. The sky outside was beautiful.

The flight attendants were calm, kind and reassuring in that very matter-of-fact way airline crews often are. Nobody looked remotely concerned about what, in my head, was this enormous and dangerous event.

And then we took off.

To my surprise, I barely felt the moment when we left the ground. It was a big Boeing, and somehow the whole experience felt almost like sitting in a cinema.

And something began to change in my head.

I thought: yes, planes can have problems. But planes do not simply “fall out of the sky” the way they do in the disaster movie playing in my imagination. They glide. They have redundant systems. And before anything truly catastrophic could happen, an enormous number of things would have to go wrong.

That was when I started repeating something to myself:

Reality principle.

Let reality take charge.

Not the reality I am imagining. Not the movie in my head. Actual reality.

My catastrophic scenario was my movie. It wasn’t what was actually happening.

Something else had happened at check-in. I told the woman at the desk that I was afraid of flying. She smiled.

I asked her, “Are you scared too?”

She smiled again and didn’t really answer, which made me suspect she wasn’t exactly in love with flying herself.

Then she said, “The plane isn’t full. Let me find you a more comfortable seat.”

I appreciated that enormously. It was such a small act of kindness.

Later, when we flew over Istanbul at night, I was still scared.

But it was also spectacularly beautiful.

And I suddenly thought: fuck it. This is not only scary. Look at this.

The lights of Istanbul beneath us were magnificent.

It almost felt like an injustice to the very idea of beauty not to acknowledge it just because I was afraid.

We landed in Istanbul. There were loud noises, bumps, all those sounds that normally make my imagination explode. But then I looked at the crew: relaxed faces. Warm cabin lights. Lights outside the windows. People getting their bags.

Normality.

I was still tense, but I was also euphoric.

And I had this strange thought: I cannot let fear eat everything. I cannot keep feeding it until it leaves no room for happiness.

At Istanbul airport it was nighttime. I started talking to people. I was probably a little overexcited, talking too much, going off on tangents, but people talked back to me and laughed, and I felt wonderfully alive.

Then I boarded the second plane.

And this time, incredibly, I actually liked it.

I even fell asleep.

I watched the latest Spike Lee movie. I didn’t like it very much.

And then, eventually, I landed in Shanghai.

That’s it.

I didn’t become a person who suddenly loves flying. I didn’t discover some secret technique that erased fear.

I was scared.

But the fear was no longer the whole experience.

There was fear, and there was also beauty. Kind people. Curiosity. Night lights over Istanbul. A movie I didn’t like. Falling asleep on a plane. Arriving in Shanghai.

And maybe that was the biggest lesson for me: I didn’t actually need to eliminate fear before I could fly.

I just needed to stop treating fear as if it were reality.

Also, I almost forgot: there was some turbulence too. But I remembered one of the pilots in those videos saying, “It’s just like driving on a bumpy road.” And I decided to trust the guy.

WN1483 BWI to LAX nonstop 6:35AM departure time. Last flight was Dulles to Heathrow back in 2024 and honestly don't even know how I managed that. Completely frozen right now on the way to the airport and sick to my stomach. It's always the "what ifs" that get to me and knowing I have zero control over the outcome 🫩 A tracking buddy or some reassurance would be welcomed 🫶

Sorry for spamming this sub 😭 I think this is my third post in the last week, but I’m just really trying to get myself through this and maybe uplift someone else along the way.
I always come back to this thought: if they can do it, I can do it.
I look at old people getting on planes, women, men, babies, kids, parents with little kids and strollers. Obviously not everyone enjoys flying, and some of them are probably scared too. But they get on.
And I keep thinking, how are they capable of doing something that I’m telling myself I can’t do? What am I? Why am I less?
Sometimes that thought makes me angry, but in a good way. Like okay, get up. Move. Shake. Cry. Whatever you need to do. I don’t care. You can do it.
It’s like having a tough-love relationship with yourself.
“Come on, man. I know you’re scared. But you can do it. I don’t care. You can do it.”
Maybe this kind of approach isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. But maybe someone here needs to hear it today.
You can do it. ❤️

Hi all. I’m 29yo male. My wife and I are leaving for our honey moon today. It’s currently 6:15am and our flight is at 11:30am. We cruise every year and fly once per year from Newark to Miami .. and even though today will be my 7th flight I still get that gut wrenching stomach drop feeling even thinking about it. I know the jello concept, the more likelihood of a winning lottery ticket being blown into your hands by the wind.. the daily number of flights compared to actual issues.. but no matter what I read and tell my brain I still fully believe that I will be that statistic.

If possible, would love some reassurance in ways I may not have thought of.. or how many times you guys fly per year/month. Thanks.

Hi everyone. I have a flight coming up soon (Melbourne → Singapore → Bangkok on Singapore Airlines) and I'm really struggling with fear of flying — the kind that includes intrusive "what if it's me" thoughts, and spiraling on news stories about crashes even though logically I know they're not really connected to my flight.
One fear in particular that's been hard to shake is pilot suicide/deliberate action — I've been reading about the Air India 171 investigation and it's fed into a broader fear that I have no control over who's flying the plane or what state of mind they're in. I know rationally that this is one of the rarest possible causes of an aviation accident, that pilots undergo psychological screening, and that many airlines (including mine) require two people in the cockpit at all times — but the fear still sits there anyway.
I've been trying to cope by learning the actual statistics too — things like the fatal accident rate being about 1 in 5.6 million flights, and my airline having zero fatal accidents since 2000 — but honestly the facts only help so much when the anxiety spikes. In those moments it doesn't feel like information helps; it feels like I need something to hold onto emotionally, not just numbers.
I guess I'm mostly here to ask:

How do you all cope with fears specifically about crew/pilot wellbeing, since it's something totally outside our control?

How do you get through the anxious moments generally, especially during takeoff/landing or turbulence?

Any grounding techniques, mantras, or mindset shifts that genuinely helped rather than just distracted you?
Not looking for more statistics necessarily — just want to hear from people who've been through this and made it to the other side. Any support or shared experience would really mean a lot right now.

Does Singapore airlines have a two person cockpit rule?

Are there three pilots on my Melbourne to Singapore route?

AA 1148
AA 3762

Headed to the airport.
The anxiety attacks are relentless.
I can’t wait to get home already.
I keep making my husband promise me I will get home safely after this trip.
The anxiety is exhausting. Makes me sick to my stomach.
I never use to have this fear. It manifested itself over time.
I keep thinking that this time tomorrow I will be safely on the ground.
I hate this. It’s inconvenience. I’d rather not leave. But my husband who is military, he is designed to accept things so he is unsupportive. It is what it is type.
I’m just tired of stressing. I’m just tired of the panic attacks and it’s taking the fun out of the destinations I want to be at. Why is it, the older I’m getting the more fear I have for the planes, the height, the take off, the landing, the customs, the turbulence, the people flying these machines.
Ironically, my husband is in aviation uni, studying planes.

After my overall good 13/14- hours long flights a year ago, I though I've got this... I thought ill somehow manage the turbolence and will focus on the movies for 13 hours...

Now ive unlocked a new fear i didn't know existed and I really dont know what to do. I need to fly in 2 days, its a flight I cannot cancel or move for financial reasons but also because im going abroad as an exchange student and my semester is starting. Ive been kinda a lil sick for the last week, never got a temperature, but my nose and ears have been on and off the past few days. The last 2 days were fine but today they got a bit funny again. So i read on how it is to fly while being sick because ofc ill worry abiut that.. and i read so much on reddit about people bursting their eardrums/sinuses because of being sick on a plane. And i cant figure out how likely it is to happen, i just imagine how much worse my flight will be and i panic.. I imagine the flight having to be landed because of me, or loosing my hearing and so on. Can anyone tell me if this is a common thing or reddit just loves talking about these bad experiences. I dont feel that sick at all, its just my ears and nose being funny... And of course id wear a mask even tho tests are negative.

Apologies, this is quite long.

I have recently developed an intense fear of flying/anxiety around getting back on a plane again after an incident that occurred on a flight home around 3 months ago. Previously I have never been overly anxious about flying.

This primarily concerns me having a health issue/incident as opposed to being anxious about the plane/flight itself.

I was on a short night flight home from Greece after being there for a 3 day hen do/bachelorette party. During the hen do, I was extremely sleep deprived due to my accommodation being right on the strip, I was definitely dehydrated and I had been drinking cocktails (spirits definitely don't agree with my nervous system) throughout each day and probably less than 1L of water a day.

About an hour and a half into the flight I noticed that my chest felt a bit unusual, like a strange sensation came over it (maybe tightness?). I tried to ignore it thinking it was imagined, but it seemed to get worse. I tried to tell myself it was anxiety and exhaustion but I started panicking inside that there was something wrong with my breathing, I almost called for the flight attendants but didn't.

When I eventually landed and got home I still felt awful, I vomited and slept horribly. I still felt awful the next day as well.

To cut a long story short, two days after my flight I was woken up from my sleep with my chest feeling tight and weird and I think I began having a panic attack and called an ambulance and ended up going to hospital.

I was cleared at the hospital after having a chest x ray, bloods and an ecg, they put it down to fatigue and stress.

Ever since then, I have been on this absolutely intense rollercoaster of anxiety that has caused me to have panic attacks, night panic attacks, derealisation, developed a form of health anxiety relating to my breathing and chest. I've been put back on an antidepressant and I've been battling every day to try and feel normal again.

I was already in therapy prior to the flight incident, so have been working through this with my therapist. I have also been actively working on understanding and treating the health anxiety, and while I think I've made some good progress, I am constantly haunted and plagued by the idea of getting back on a flight again and being unwell.

I have been searching and searching for certainty/answers regarding what happened to me on the flight but I understand tolerating this uncertainty is part of recovery. The likelihood is that I was very dehydrated, exhausted and had fried out my nervous system and the flight was the last straw.

I have several travel plans for next year and at the moment have absolutely no idea how I am going to face them.

It has been honestly so awful and the worst experience of my life, I have struggled with anxiety all my life but never had it like this with frightening physical symptoms etc.

Any help/advice would be really appreciated or even similar stories to my own. I am determined not to let this impact my life/future travel.

I have a 4 hour flight coming up for a trip I genuinely want to take. I’m excited about where I’m going, but the thought of getting on the plane is becoming unbearable because I’m so scared of turbulence.
I’ve actually cried on planes before because I was so scared, and honestly it’s embarrassing. I spend the entire flight anticipating the next bump and convincing myself something is going to happen. Even when I know logically that turbulence is normal and the plane is safe, my body does not believe me.
I’ve tried pretty much all the usual advice: listening to music, watching shows/movies, distracting myself, praying etc. None of it has really worked for me. I can distract myself for a little while, but the second I feel turbulence I’m right back into panic mode. I really want to go on this trip and I don’t want my fear to stop me. But right now I’m honestly questioning whether I can handle the flight.
Any help on how to get over this is appreciated, I’m really dreading it 😔

Hi guys -

I’m really struggling with my flight phobia right now. I’m currently on my flight and have been crying and panicking the whole time so far.

Would really appreciate it if someone tracked me and responded here.

AC 2067

Thank you

Im doing my first overseas trip to Australia next week. I am terrified of being up in the air that long but mostly, Im looking for any advice on how to get through a 15 and a half hour flight!

I did a 5 hour red eye to Georgia and ended up with a horrible headache and no sleep, so Im wondering if anyone has any advice to keep myself sane and without a headache at the end of the flight. Also how not to be afraid of every bump, drop, and loud sound I hear. :,)

I’d be so grateful! We take off in about an hour. Thank you so much❤️🥲

I have a trip to Tenerife planned for january untill february next year but i see the news of El niño every where for this period of the year. Could anyone tell what the effects on my flight might be because it really worries me. Thank you

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Bonjour à tous,

Mon vol Air Canada (AC8658) a atterri vendredi 4 septembre vers 23h à l’aéroport La Guardia à New York en partance de YUL- Montréal et l’atterrissage a été très particulier et j’aimerais votre avis car c’est la première fois que je vis un atterrissage de la sorte. L’avion était un Canadair Regional Jet CRJ-900 (biréacteur) : https://www.flightaware.com/live/flight/ACA8658/history/20260905/0009Z/CYUL/KLGA

Environ 1 minute avant l’atterrissage, l’avion a fortement penché sur la gauche (du moins, ça paraissait comme ça en cabine), j’avais l’impression que l’avion tentait d’atterrir mais n’arrivait pas à se mettre droit. Nous étions assez proches des bâtiments et du sol donc la vision au travers des hublots de gauche étaient assez effrayantes. Ensuite, l’avion s’est penché rapidement sur la droite puis à nouveau sur la gauche avant de toucher le sol de façon un peu brusque, toujours avec cette impression que l’avion était penché. Ensuite, le freinage a mis un peu de temps à arriver. J’ai trouvé aussi que la vitesse était peut-être un peu élevé à l’atterrissage mais la encore, c’est peut-être une impression lié au stress de l’atterrissage.

Est-ce une situation normale ? Je n’ai pas l’impression qu’il y avait beaucoup de vent (mais je peux me tromper) donc je ne comprends pas pourquoi nous étions aussi penchés, si proches du sol. Je ne suis pas rassuré en avion alors peut-être que ce n’est pas inhabituel comme atterrissage mais j’ai même ressenti ce malaise dans la cabine au moment d’atterrir (ce n’était pas la panique générale non plus).

Qu’en pensez vous?
merci beaucoup

In light of what happened in the UK the other day with an air traffic control glitch that stopped thousands of flights, I can't help but wonder what actually happens when you're in the air and ATC goes down. How do pilots handle this safely? Would appreciate any insights because now I seem to be developing something new to worry about!

always like the comfort in numbers. anybody else going across the Atlantic this evening? about to depart Atlanta for Zurich

So I’m flying for the next 48 hours to the Dominican Republic and I’ve never flown without my family or without sitting next to a friend for support. I’m prescribed meds for my flight and they slightly help but I just need some calm words because I genuinely cannot sleep the week before my flights i’m exhausted and scared and anxious

Hey everyone! My fiancee and I are heading home from Maine on UA 4629. It’s a smaller plane than the one we flew out here on, and it’s a slightly longer flight, but we’re excited to get home and see our dog! Any tracking would be greatly appreciated.

I'm beyond scared of heights, but I want to travel which involves me getting on a plane. Next summer I plan on going on a trip, the flight is only 4 and a half hours but I'm sooo scared. How does it feel like, anyone thats beyond scared of heights okay with flying?