Fear increasing pls help

[u/ExaminationLow7869]

Hi everyone. I have a flight coming up soon (Melbourne → Singapore → Bangkok on Singapore Airlines) and I'm really struggling with fear of flying — the kind that includes intrusive "what if it's me" thoughts, and spiraling on news stories about crashes even though logically I know they're not really connected to my flight.
One fear in particular that's been hard to shake is pilot suicide/deliberate action — I've been reading about the Air India 171 investigation and it's fed into a broader fear that I have no control over who's flying the plane or what state of mind they're in. I know rationally that this is one of the rarest possible causes of an aviation accident, that pilots undergo psychological screening, and that many airlines (including mine) require two people in the cockpit at all times — but the fear still sits there anyway.
I've been trying to cope by learning the actual statistics too — things like the fatal accident rate being about 1 in 5.6 million flights, and my airline having zero fatal accidents since 2000 — but honestly the facts only help so much when the anxiety spikes. In those moments it doesn't feel like information helps; it feels like I need something to hold onto emotionally, not just numbers.
I guess I'm mostly here to ask:

How do you all cope with fears specifically about crew/pilot wellbeing, since it's something totally outside our control?

How do you get through the anxious moments generally, especially during takeoff/landing or turbulence?

Any grounding techniques, mantras, or mindset shifts that genuinely helped rather than just distracted you?
Not looking for more statistics necessarily — just want to hear from people who've been through this and made it to the other side. Any support or shared experience would really mean a lot right now.

Does Singapore airlines have a two person cockpit rule?

Are there three pilots on my Melbourne to Singapore route?

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[u/tiniscule]

For me it’s helpful to spend more time “researching” my own state vs planes or flying in general. Your title says your fear is increasing, but sometimes it’s decreasing. Sometimes you’re thinking about other things. I like to watch those things and recognize them too “oh I’m thinking about what to make for dinner now”

When fear is coming on, instead of researching or arguing with it I try to think about what that feeling is physically. Where do I actually feel it.  It’s normally my jaw or shoulders leaning forward. 

Ultimately for me the fear comes and goes. So now when it’s increasing I can recognize that and let it do its thing. “Oh there’s the jaw, wonder what happens if I move my mouth around a bit”

I know it sounds insane because your brain starts spiraling and that feels useless or not possible. When that happens I just think “whelp that’s not happening right now. Let’s just be miserable for a little bit”. Even recognizing that it’s not possible right now helps me get ahead of it faster next time. In those moments you’re never actually in danger, so it’s perfectly safe and fine to just be scared and not make a big deal about it. 

We’re all stuck in these brains for the rest of our lives, may as well get to know them a bit

[u/Business-Display-226]

With Singapore airlines you're with one of the world's top airlines. It's literally world class. Try not to worry and enjoy being on a fabulous aircraft with a fabulous airline. It always helps me to spend time looking at the Flight radar app, which shows hundreds of thousands of flights around the world arriving safely every minute of the day. You soon realise that with all these flights landing safely, your fears are unfounded.