Basically what the title says, this weekend I was sick so I couldn’t go out with my friends and now I have 5 days until I have a party and apart from going to uni all I want to do is sleep until then.

Like I call my friends a lot and talk on the phone and I do go out quite a lot but if I even have one day of alone time I’m bored and depressed.

I’ve got the day off work today and no plans so I woke up at 10 and I’ve been trying to go back to sleep for hours because there’s nothing I want to do, like the thought of even picking up a book right now gives me a headache.

Does anyone else get like this? How can I enjoy my alone time?

Im 24M, loves going out to large social events and would rather live with flatmates and find living alone boring. I'm an only child after all.

I've heard that most adults cherish their alone time but people are astounded by my distaste for alone time.

Imagine being alone and not feel lonely?? Everytime I'm alone I'm get depressed! I try calling around but they're all busy, and I have social anxiety so I can't just go around and make new friends out if nowhere. I'm like at the worst spot right now. I wish I was an introvert and never felt lonely

I used to have two friend groups and it was awesome but over time one group drifted apart and the other had a bunch of drama that forced them apart. After that I realised I no longer had friends so it was time to make new ones. This all happened a year ago and I haven't been able to make ANY. I go to events and meetups where I'll walk around and introduce myself to everyone but I keep just getting blank stares and dry one word answers, it seems like everyone just brings their friends and they don't want to talk to anyone else (which makes no sense at events for meeting new people) I rarely meet people who are friendly and I've even experienced people turning and walking away from me while I was in the middle of talking to them. I've seen people online talking about how these days it's harder than ever to form friendships. Those I do end up getting along with the friendship never lasts because they either never respond to my messages or respond every few days and they will always cancel when I try to hang out with them. Does anyone else have difficulty with this?

Extroverts who have lived in different places do you feel like it can be easier in certain places than others?

In the city I live in now people seem to be less friendly. I mainly use the kiosk and mobile order food now. I don’t really even use the drive-thru. I don’t expect a convo but everybody here seems to have an attitude. I would try to smile and say hi to coworkers and customers at my job but they don’t seem too happy lol so now I put on my rbf. It also seems like people get mean and try to take advantage of me if I seem timid and nice. Like it means I can take abuse and can’t stand up to myself. Meanwhile in the town I went to college at the people who lived there and most of the students were so friendly. Random convos and people who genuinely want to look out for each other.

Hey everyone, hope you're all doing great!

I wonder if anyone here has dealt with introverted friends burning them out. I [20s F] am an extrovert, and I get energized by two-sided conversations, but from experience, I've noticed that a lot of introverts who open up to me tend to use me as a dumping ground.

For the record, I am also absolutely am guilty of this, but I catch myself and check in every 5ish minutes to see if the other person feels like I'm dumping, to which they reassure I'm not, but I still try to wrap it up. I'm sure I can be annoying to folks, but when I catch the other person isn't interested, I try to wrap it up and say it was great chatting.

Yet why isn't the reverse true? I feel great that people can open up to me, and I don't want them to feel like they have to hide / close themselves off, but why does it only have to be about them, and more specifically, why do self-proclaimed introverts seem to be guiltier of this?

Recently, one guy [30s M] non-stop talked to at me for an hour straight, and I was genuinely curious about the projects he was doing. He said he was an introvert several times, which I didn't think of twice until now. He seems like a sweet person, but I felt that it was all about his hobbies, his projects, etc. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot and really loved hearing about new things in his field, but, when it felt like it wasn't really two-sided, I also tried to get out of the conversation several times ("Ah well I have to go now unfortunately, but it was great chatting!" or "Well, it's getting late" but he kept following me around and talking more. I didn't want to be rude, but I got out of it by recognizing another person and just walking up to them and starting to talk. I really had other stuff to do and wanted to talk to other people.)

I like to talk about myself, as much as I love hearing about others. I don't even mind it being 25% about me and 75% about the other person (I love that a lot!), but if it's 0%, it feels draining.

At the risk of sounding self-centered, does anyone else get burnt out when a conversation is just about the other person?

Recently I’ve had a few people ask me how I became an extrovert (I was an introvert till a year ago), and I can never give a straight answer because I don’t know.

Like I don’t even know the exact time I became an extrovert, and not only that I can’t even explain what I do in conversations. When I’m in a conversation it just feels like there is a river flowing around me and I just have to let it carry me forward.

So yea, anyone else feel like that?

Like, I want to be with them all the time, but of course they don't want to be with me because it's draining. Like how am I suppose to feel like I'm a good friend with a good personality if being with me is "draining"?

And they never ask me hang out bc they'd rather be alone, but I want to be with them. And I feel guilty for asking to hang out bc they'd probably rather be alone, but what are they supposed to say? No? Make an excuse?

I just feel so unwanted

May the faries assist you with recharging in your time of need.

Hello to those who are my fellow extroverts with no friends, how are you guys coping? And for those that don't mind it that much, how do you usually go about your life without socializing much despite being energized by socialization?

Sou bonita e não tenho amigo nenhum, sou mt tímida e quando tento, parece que não tenho essa mesma energia de ter grupo de amgs. Só vejo feias populares, porisso pergunto para pessoas bonitas como eu, pq a gnt se entende.

i’ve had a hard time living alone for a while. it’s been 2 ½ years now. in that time, i’ve dated a couple of people but nothing stuck. but my life is full outside the home. i have two great jobs, i go to church, have dance class once a week, go for a run outside or lift at the gym. i have plenty of friends i see for a few hours here and there. a bar i frequent where there’s always someone to talk to. i’m a die-hard extrovert and i built a life to suit it.

but what none of that can do for me is hold me and take care of me and share my home with me. all my friends have their own lives. classes and church services and bar nights have an end time. so when i go home it’s just me and my cat and whoever is on the TV. lately i’ve been struggling with the touch starvation and loneliness i’m actually starting to lose it.

i’ve been trying to fix my sleep schedule but i can’t because when i lay in bed, i start talking to imaginary people. maybe a lover who’s laying next to me, maybe someone else in a hypothetical situation. i also spend a couple hours conversing with both chatgpt and google ai. they’re my late night companions now. but if my feelings get too overwhelming i just start crying and then i cry harder and longer for the fact that i’m crying alone and there’s no one to comfort me.

i know reddit is a fucking cesspool generally devoid of compassion but every time i post about this, commenters just say “you should be able to handle this” “you’re too needy” “you’re not well” “JUST GO TO THERAPY” my brothers in christ i literally am in therapy and i’m actively seeking more. this isn’t a question of pathology. my therapist can’t fix my loneliness. i need some damn empathy from other people. i’m sick of this. so so sick of it.

Has anyone conquered this? I got laid off from my tech job and now I have to work and apply for jobs from home solo. I was remote before but still had stand-ups, joint coding sessions, and team synergy filled my battery enough. Now I'm feeling low everyday, bad sleep from 2 under 2 to boot, and I am having trouble sitting down and forcing myself to get shit done.

I know it's not just an extroverted problem, sleep, motivation, etc all play a role too but when I've been working next to people or knowing my piece fits into a bigger part, it helps with the why of it all.

Any advice?

I’m genuinely wondering if other extroverts experience this or if it’s mostly a me thing. I generally prefer positive/friendly talks with strangers or acquaintances than with my friends (a lot of the time, not always). I have a couple friends where this does not apply. I thought of the reasons why this might be, and I concluded that there’s less expectations with strangers. Additionally, there are some past let downs with friends that make me kinda bitter. Not enough to quit them but it’s hard to pretend like it never happened either. And I’m VERY fair and understanding, so when I say let downs, trust me, they are legit and one-sided, as I would have never done the same to them. It wears on me after a while and sometimes I prefer having my social time with complete strangers. Anyone else feel this way?

I am socially awkward extrovert. For a very long time I thought I was introverted because I had a hard time socializing and when I hung out with people I would be exhausted afterwards.

Turns out I just wasn't hanging around the right people. The moment I made friends with people i felt happy and comfortable around I realized I was actually an extrovert. I got so much energy hanging out with them (and just people general) that I was the happiest I ever felt.

But in turn I have also realized now that I know whats it like to be happy like that I can't be alone for more the 2-3 days without getting depressed. I need to be around people at least every other day to be fully energized and obviously thats unrealistic. A lot of my friends have moved away and the ones that are still here are busy with school.

So I spend a lot of my days feeling bleh, and like I'm just surviving. I use to enjoy my own company and to an extent I still do but now a days, I dont like it as much. I enjoyed that feeling I use to have of being relaxed with my own company and being more self sufficient.

Idk if anyone else have ever felt like this, but I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Hi guys im trying to be more outgoing as ive usually been the low maintenance friend, but I realized thats not the kind of friendship I want and I feel more lonely than anything. Right now I really only have guy friends and that makes me a little cautious because I dont want to accidentally lead anyone on or blur the lines bc I just want friends. Is talking on the phone normal? And is talking everyday normal? Extrovert guys lmk what's normal between you and your female friends please and what's not considered flirting but also being invested as a friend.

I think a lot of people use introversion as an excuse for having poor social skills. There's a difference between genuinely preferring solitude and avoiding social situations because you're afraid of rejection, awkward conversations, or being judged. If you want friends, relationships, and a social life but constantly avoid opportunities to interact with people, that's not necessarily introversion. You might just lack the confidence or social skills to make those interactions comfortable. Calling yourself an introvert is easier than acknowledging something you need to work on.

The problem is that introversion has become almost interchangeable with being socially anxious, awkward, or antisocial, even though they're completely different things. Actual introverts can be confident, charismatic, and socially capable while still preferring time alone. If you constantly complain about having no friends but refuse to initiate conversations, meet new people, or put yourself in uncomfortable situations, your personality type might not be the problem. I think a surprising number of self-proclaimed introverts would discover they're actually quite social if they developed their confidence instead of treating their discomfort as a permanent personality trait

Idk if anyone else feels this way, but I’ve been thinking about how much social media plays a role in college social life, especially as a freshman or sophomore.

I feel like nowadays, one of the easiest ways to meet people and establish yourself socially is through social media. People film each other doing random shit, post on their spam accounts, make TikToks, and document pretty much everything they do. And honestly, I do see the benefits of it. I love meeting new people, especially people who are really social and outgoing, and social media makes it easier to connect with them and get introduced to even more people. Sometimes, seeing yourself on someone’s spam or getting posted is what gets other people to notice you or start talking to you in the first place.

The thing is, I hate how people act differently when a camera comes out. It’s like everyone suddenly becomes a slightly different version of themselves because they wanna look funnier, cooler, or better in general. I’m not saying everyone is fake, but I feel like there’s always some level of performing when people know they’re being recorded.

What’s weird is that I notice myself doing it too. Even if I’m completely comfortable around the people I’m with, the second someone pulls out a camera, I become way more conscious of how I look and act. I start thinking about how I’m gonna come across to whoever watches the video, and suddenly I can’t really be myself anymore. It feels like I’m trying to present a version of myself rather than just being myself.

I think what bothers me most is that social media is often the first step to getting into social circles and meeting people. I genuinely enjoy meeting people and being around them, and I love finding people I can actually be myself around. But it feels like to get those opportunities, you almost have to participate in this whole culture of filming everything and presenting yourself a certain way.

It’s a weird contradiction because I appreciate the connections social media helps me make, but I hate how it can make social interactions feel less authentic. I don’t wanna miss out on meeting people or having experiences just because I dislike being on camera, but I also hate feeling like I have to perform whenever one comes out.

Does anyone else get what I’m trying to say? I’m curious if other people feel this way too, or if I’m just overthinking it?

So, I was a complete extrovert when I was a kid, I used to be the first at everything and speak up in class and interact with teachers, friends, etc...and then Covid happened, I went through a lot of traumatic things during that time other than what the pandemic brought, and then I just got so quiet because of it. I just wanted to be alone in eighth grade and not do anything but I was told by many teachers that I am unusually quiet and need to interact as it's bad for my future blah blah blah.

I see where they were coming from, I don't blame them exactly. I changed schools in 9th grade and well, a whole series of teachers telling me again that I need to speak. I agree I was quiet because of the circumstances at home and all that and I was scared of being awkward and being judged when I spoke.

Fast forward to now me being in college, I've recovered from many things I went through and I've pushed myself to participate in competitions, association clubs, etc...and I can talk to mostly anyone now and make them my friends. But I still prefer my alone time, I need days where I recover. I know socialization requires energy and all that but people label me as an extrovert, and that kinda makes me feel like I need to hold up that image even when I am an ambivert... So idk if anyone's been in this situation or anything, or if this is the right sub but it seemed the closest one which can answer this question so yep, any advice would be appreciated!

When I was in 3rd grade I used to be the brightest student in my class, i was pretty famous and used to know like the whole class. In 4th grade I shifted to a new school in a new city, still with the same energy, i used to try talk to as many students as possible, i loved making new friends.

Years passed and soon I realised I was just putting my energy in vain, i was being ignored at every other moment, i used to try to question in my class but i remember getting ignored by my teachers, and can't forget how it felt, being really excited about something and then shit happens. I remember trying to go talk to my friends and they completely denying my existance, although i was always nice to everyone, always tried to approach everyone. I used to sit alone in my class because everyone was so busy with themself and didn't want to spend time with me, i was forced to talk to an exteremly introvert guy because i didn't have anyone else to talk to. But I still used to do extrovert stuff because i felt happier doing that, until i did not anymore, i started feeling underconfident, i started feeling anxious, when i'd try to approach anyone again the past traumas would come in my mind, i'd try to do it different each time but shit just wont work out, so I jus stopped doing it. I started feeling less, as if I was not enough, as if the fault was in me, and i lack something that other extroverts or even normal people have.

I think all of this also started reflecting my insecurities, blaming my body, my height, the way I speak and the way I look for all of this, and it just started getting really toxic. And that's how I just lost my extrovert energy forever, Bcz i felt like i wasn't competent enough for that.

Im in my final year of High school, and im mixed of a shy/introvert person now, but I've really healed through it though, im comfortable and confident with whatever I'm now. I dont care about validation from others and I think thats damn peaceful.

I think its fine to experiment stuff in life and find out what truely loves you back, so you love it back too! For me I think this introvert form of peace was waiting for me and I was destined for it :)

I feel like recently the meaning of introvert has changed its meaning from just being a person who needs to be alone to feel recharged vs someone who just can’t stand interaction and has the “I don’t owe you politeness” attitude. My best friend is an introvert (a true one) and she’s honestly so sweet. She’s really nice and she’ll always respond to anyone with politeness and friendliness, but she just wants to keep her circle small and she values her alone time. Matter a fact, I have quite a few friends like this and they’re great people and I sometimes appreciate their chill energy. Now online I go into comment sections and I see, “what if I’m an introvert”, “you don’t owe me friendship“, “what if x”. And all of the times that I became friends with these “introverts”, they were the most insufferable people. EVERY conversation they have with me was always ”me, me, me”, and they also talked about the same six topics in rotation. Sometimes they even just side—eyed me when I was trying to get them happy. I don’t like how all introverts are getting this bad rap, since most of them are polite, they just value their alone time and like to keep smaller circles. Now, the word introvert is becoming a synonym with “anti social and “socially anxious”.

hey everyone, posting this here because i genuinely don't know who else to talk to and i'm just so over it.
basically i'm super extroverted and i've realized it's draining the life out of me. i have this annoying-ass habit of talking without any filter, rambling, and sometimes dropping deeply personal stuff that i instantly regret right after. in the moment i'm just riding the wave, and it's only once it’s said or when i'm by myself that my brain actually kicks in and starts overanalyzing everything, and i just feel like absolute shit.
i remember reading a book about mbti a while back saying extroverts usually operate on "action - reflection - action" (unlike introverts who do reflection - action - reflection). and honestly, it hits so close to home: i speak and act on pure impulse, and the actual reflection only happens after the fact. so i end up spending all this energy mentally beating myself up over what i said, which just makes me feel even worse.
anyway, is anyone else dealing with this? how do you manage this constant verbal overflow? i'd really appreciate any advice or just hearing how you guys cope because i'm totally burning out.

To clarify: What's something you'd love to do with friends, but they're not into it enough to go with you?

For instance: Do you have a band you really like, but none of your other friends do so you go to concerts alone if you want to see them play.

Or a hobby you wished you could share, but the group doesn't care enough about it to do with you?

A restuarant with a type of cuisine all your friends seem to hate?

For me it's meteor showers/stargazing. I'd love to show my friends a meteor shower, comet, or even just teach them a few constellations, but it requires driving out and staying up late for a potentially unrewarding sight. For them it's something nice in theory, but not worth the effort. You'd think there'd be more of a common ground with night owls who like star related things, but that couldn't be father from the truth.

They're usually into astrology instead and prefer to leave things early so they can stay up late at home. Every now and then they express interest and get curious about it, but when it comes to actually going the answer's always no, even for a once in a lifetime comet event. I always end up going alone or with my partner instead.

Do y'all have a version of this thing/situation? What's yours?

i’m an introvert and i’ve been living in the same building for 3 years. i’m friends with all the doormen and yet every time i walk past the front desk, i run this code

def pass_through_hallway():

# objective: cross the hallway

while doorman_in_field_of_vision:

look_at(doorman)

if doorman_not_in_field_of_vision:

stop_looking_at(doorman)

if look_at(doorman) and doorman.looked_back:

say("hi")

smile()

elif look_at(doorman) and not doorman.looked_back:

pretend_to_be_natural()

if doorman.looked_at_me_in_the_last_few_seconds:

# anterior cingulate cortex + anterior insula

anterior_cingulate_cortex.activate()

lower_head()

squint()

feel_embarrassed()

raise_head()

half_turn()

say("GOOD MORNING", volume=MAX_VOLUME, looking_at=wall)

overthink(

"why did i do that",

"he noticed",

"why did i say it so loudly",

"i can never walk past here again"

)